With the right knowledge and attitude, you can have a natural birth in a hospital setting. Here’s what Christy learned from her 7 natural hospital births!
By Christy, Contributing Writer
“At the hospital they force you into taking all sorts of drugs, and they sneak things into your baby. I’ve heard real horror stories. That’s why we only birth at home,” said the father of six as we compared stories about our kiddos.
He was relieved (and surprised, poor guy) to hear that I had delivered seven children in five hospitals in two states…all natural. You can, indeed, have a natural birth in a hospital, as my birth stories will show.
No two birth stories are the same. Each of my deliveries was vastly different–natural, but as different as each of my children. That is because people change, places change, your body changes, and you are delivering a different person each time.
My doctors have ranged from the 15-seconds-from-retiring, old school doctor who delivered my first two, to the cool ex-fighter pilot, to the how-on-earth-did-this-man-get-his-medical-degree doctor (the only doc within 70 miles) who delivered my last. Three doctors didn’t even make it in time (and yes, they still received full pay). They are each different.
I’ve had the full gamut of nurses as well, from the kind that practically adopted me to the kind that is totally put out that I wouldn’t follow her prescribed birthing plan or stay in bed to the lady who was so excited that I was having a natural birth that she invited the nursing staff in to watch (with my permission). They are all different.
Finally, after delivering a baby…two babies…seven babies, you change, physically, mentally, emotionally, so you are even different!
One of my favorite birth stories is my third, a small little girl not even seven pounds. Nobody believed me that the baby was coming, and coming fast, but neither she nor I were willing to continue trying to convince them. There’s nothing like a crowned head to make everyone jump into action. Who needs a doctor, anyway!
Two other favorites were the fourth and sixth. I stayed home to labor there as long as possible, then headed to the hospital toward the end. (My labors are always extremely long and I know my body well by this point. I don’t recommend this approach to everyone.) An hour at the hospital and I had babies. One doctor squeaked in, one missed out.
My fifth was extremely different, because–whoa–we had a boy! How’d he sneak into the mix?!
Our seventh baby was born last Thanksgiving. I labored through one of my husband’s concerts, sitting in the second row with a three-year-old on my lap. After the show and break-down, we had a long drive back home over the mountains with our children and some extended family.
Because we had house guests (I thought I would give one of them a heart attack with my nonchalance) and because my husband was already exhausted and would be even more so if I waited until 3 in the morning to ask him to drive me back over the mountains to the hospital, we headed back through the pass much, much earlier than I liked. This gave me a lot of time to repeatedly decline medical intervention, which, admittedly, takes some of the peace out of the process.
Nevertheless, being there earlier in the labor removes the possibility of delivering in the mountain pass in the middle of the night, and it gives a girl plenty of time to make friends with the nurses. Everything has its upside and downside.
No two experiences are the same, and nothing is predictable. Nevertheless, with the right knowledge and attitude, you can have a natural birth in a hospital setting.
There are a few lessons I’ve learned with my variety of hospital experiences that may help you prepare for a more ideal hospital birth.
1. Shifts change, doctors don’t show up, and people don’t always listen.
For that reason, be sure you have someone there who will speak for you when you can’t and if your courage or determination wavers. If your husband can’t or won’t stand up to doctors and nurses to support your wishes, have somebody else on hand, like that girlfriend that won’t let anyone mess with you.
Another option is having a doula or midwife on hand who knows your body and wishes. She can answer questions and be the voice of authoritative reason when you are in the middle of a contraction…because they always ask you the really tough questions in the middle of a huge contraction.
2. Be informed.
Learn in advance all you can about pitocin, epidurals, oxytocin, pain medications, and just about everything else they’ll try to pump into your body. Learn why you might opt for it and when to pass.
A great book to read in preparation for your natural birth is Shannon Brown’s Natural Birth Stories. Not all of the births described take place in a hospital, but it’s very interesting and encouraging to hear different moms’ stories, and the book includes a rundown of various medical terms and interventions you’ll want to know about.
3. Repeat yourself over and over and over and over.
People forget. Don’t let them. It can help to print out a birth plan in advance and share copies with your doctor and nurses, but you’ll still need to remind them of things to make sure you’re all on the same page.
4. Ask about everything.
Why do I need an IV? What is in that bag? Why are you staring at me like I have three heads? Do I have three heads?
5. Regardless of what an occasional nurse might tell you, you have options.
Mama, you do not have to deliver lying down. You do not need to stay strapped to a bed and a baby monitor. You do not need drugs. And no, you do not need to let them break your water! (Sure it speeds it up, but the pain is far worse.) Speak up! Better yet, have your husband or a friend or your mother speak up for you. If you have found a doctor who will listen, tell him in advance that you would like some freedom.
Remember, however, that many doctors have little involvement unless there is a problem or the baby is ready.
6. Keep your baby with you unless there is a medical emergency to be sure your wishes are met.
7. Allow for medical intervention if necessary.
The reason you are in the hospital is in case something goes wrong (and breakfast in bed, naturally). If something doesn’t seem quite right, be willing to turn over the reins to someone who knows more than you. The ultimate goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mama. Keep your mind on that goal.
8. Be nice!
Please! Nothing gives us natural folks a bad name like the arrogant mama-to-be that won’t stop lecturing everybody about the downside to everything. That mama needs to remember that there is a good side to many things as well, and that she does not know everything. Finally, she must remember that if something goes terribly, terribly wrong, those people she is belittling are the folks that will be trying to save her life. Personally, I try to make friends with those people, making them want to try a little bit harder.
9. Keep it in perspective.
So you ended up with a C-section or a vacuum extraction or an epidural or an episiotomy or pitocin or gave in and let them break your water. Did you also end up with a healthy baby? If you did, then your delivery was a success. Don’t dwell on it and replay the regrettable moments in your mind. Hold your baby and focus on this moment and every moment to come. I am audacious enough to state that your relationship with your child over the next 50 years will not be negatively affected by your less-than-ideal birth experience unless you hang on to it.
Hindsight is 20/20. If I were to deliver all my babies over again, I would have stayed home until the last possible minute (hour, actually, since our nearest hospital is an hour away through a mountain pass). I would have walked around more and been monitored less. Also, I would never, ever have let them break my water, because I can totally handle labor with an intact bag. I would make sure to never close my eyes so as not to miss a second. I would sleep as much as possible in the early stages of labor, knowing I would need the strength later on.
Most importantly, I would carry no regrets, because regardless of how my babies got here, they are here, and that is a beautiful thing…no matter what!
Do you have a positive hospital birth experience to share? Have you ever had a natural birth in a hospital?
Christy writes about simplifying life at The Simple Homemaker. Once weighed down by unrealistic expectations and life’s overwhelming demands, Christy has learned to throw off the complications of life and find joy in the little things. Christy and her contemporary Christian musician husband, Stephen Bautista, homeschool their 7 children, ages brand new to 15. The family tours the country for the music mission and works together on a home business.
Check out the other posts in this series HERE!
Melissa
Thank you for writing this post! I had a beautiful, wonderful, completely natural birth in the hospital (and most of the natural things I didn’t even have to fight for – the hospital staff just accepted them and we rolled with the flow – I don’t think there was ever a single intervention mentioned to me) and I hate sometimes how all hospitals and nurses and doctors get painted as being alike because they are not. At some hospitals they will push drugs on you – I never had a mention of any drugs at any point in my labor, not even pain meds, since I had requested that I not be asked. I loved, loved, loved my birth and it was 100 percent natural . . . at the hospital.
Erin
Yes, I agree it’s definitely possible to have a natural birth in a hospital! Christy is a great testimonial to that!
Jen Mc
Loved this! Thanks for sharing 😉 I have 5 children with one on the way. Though I had planned for natural, my first was highly medicated, monitered, everything I didn’t want except the c-sec, we still managed to deliver vaginally! However, all 4 since have been almost completely natural labors. No inductions, no meds, etc. Did just the minimum monitoring that the hospital requires (you know the trade off for hospital vs home!) My midwife each time has been great, nurses have been fine with my “plan” and it’s gone well. Unintentionally, I have managed to stay home till as close to the last minute as I could with the last 3, all born soon after getting there – about 90 minutes, less then an hour and 15 minutes! That last one was cutting it a little too close 😉 gotta love the nurse you can’t convince you don’t need to stop in triage!
But yes, a natural birth is possible in a hospital. The biggest advice I can give is know what’s really important to you and what you don’t mind giving in on. Some of the lesser, non-invasive checks and procedures I have okay’d knowing I would rather “save my hill to die on” for things that are really important to me. And pass this onto to your husband, he knows where my bottom line is with some stuff and he can speak up when I can’t.
Erin
That’s such good advice…and such good reminders as I am about to go into labor with our 3rd any day now! I will be 41 weeks tomorrow and hope to not have to be induced–b/c I feel like going natural is so much better when labor’s onset is natural–but I am educating myself on my options if it does come to that.
Emma
I love how your view of natural embraces the goal of having a healthy baby which may for some mean medical intervention. I birthed two healthy babies using hypnobirthing (not the trademarked version but one a local doula (and goddess) taught). First class she told us that no matter what happened if hypnobirthing got us closer to our goal then we succeeded – -even if we begged for an epi in the parking lot. My doctor accepted my birth plan and then offered this advice — let’s see what your body can do, it will tell us what it needs. Those two things made my birth experiences possible. I knew I was a success before I ever went into labor. No pressure to meet a goal…just let my body and mind work together and do their best.
My Successes: I gave birth to a 10 lb 13 oz baby girl with a small amount of Nubane during transition – 5 days contractions, 21+ hours of labor, 4+ hours of pushing and then hemorrhaging after birth – and a 12 lb 11 oz baby boy (not a typo — largest baby ever born in that hospital and no I didn’t have GD) again with a small amount of Nubane towards the end of transition and at 41.5 weeks they broke my water to stimulate labor (I opted for 41.5 weeks so my doctor would be there and because of less fetal movement..duh! he was HUGE…no more room to move!) – 4 hours labor, 2+ hours pushing, and drugs to prevent hemorraging after delivery.
While I did have Nubane and induced second birth, I count these as natural births…then again, aren’t all births natural? Some just have more medical intervention, but as women we are doing what is natural for our bodies. I admire every birth story and treasure my own.
Anneli
? Someone should give you a medal! Good job mama!
Lerin
Thank you for posting this, some of us can’t go into labor ourselves and I really appreciate you not getting preachy about that natural birth is the only way to go. This is probably the only blog I’ve read that I didn’t get mad or hurt by what others said about those of us that choose other methods of child birth. Thanks!
jennifer
Thanks for the great advice. I did not know about not letting them break your water. I had a great VBAC experience with my second child two years ago and I’m hoping for another one in 6 weeks…but I did get an epidural and the doc gave me an episiotomy which I tore through. That made the recovery hard. My doc thinks this time risking a tear is an ok plan. He did break my water last time, and things were really difficult which made me want the epidural. I am considering staying home a lot longer this time. I only live 5 minutes from my hospital, so I think that might work out.
Heather
I agree with accepting your bad birth experience but I think it should be a little elaborated. PPD can stem from a bad birth experience. So in order for a mom to accept her experience, she needs those close to her to comfort her and let her deal with the experience emotionally. She needs to feel justified in ‘failing’ or however she feels about it. She does NOT, however, need to be told, “Get over it, you have a healthy baby, that’s all that matters” cause a healthy mom (both physically and emotionally) matters as well.
I had a horrible experience with my daughter. I was 19 and blindly trusted the ignorant ‘follow everything by the book so I don’t get sued” OB and had the cascade of interventions happen cause one thing led to another and I didn’t even need the first thing! I now know that I was uneducated (thanks to not having the internet or a computer at the time) and that had a hand in it. Almost 12 years later, it’s easier to think back about that as a result.
In addition, I had a MUCH better birth with my son cause of self-educating. Except for the end when something ‘rare’ (feeling the urge to push before 10 cm) occurred and everything went out the window. Had I known my options then, I firmly believe I would have had the ‘picture perfect’ birth I had dreamed of. Or at least much, much closer to it.
Now I am pregnant again. This time around, I have more knowledge as I’m studying to be a doula. I also refused to see an OB and switched to a highly recommended midwife (from people who think like me). I’m also looking into hiring a doula so that I have both a spokesperson AND someone to help guide my husband into being the ‘perfect’ birth partner.
With time comes knowledge, and knowledge comes in time.
Victoria
Ah! Such great advice 🙂 I know I’m commenting way late (like, two years late!) but I just found your post from another link. Thanks for your perspective. I just had my first child naturally in a hospital setting (with an attending midwife). It was a really memorable experience. Even still, there are things I’ll know better to anticipate for next time. Mainly about being calm, especially in an environment that isn’t built for “calm”. Way to go mama!
I wrote my birth story here: http://victoriasramblings.com/carson-annes-birth-story/
Jen
Hello! I had a quick question. I was reading through your article (which I loved), but I was wondering something. Under #5 you stated “You do not need to let them break your water! (Sure it speeds it up, but the pain is far worse.).” Are you saying that having them break your water causes the delivery to be more painful? Or the process of getting it broken is very painful? Thank you for the clarification!
Brittany
Hi,
I obviously am not the blog writer, but I have had 2 natural births and will be having my third soon. Breaking your water causes contractions to be more painful as there is less cushion there. I do not let them break my water and it always breaks just as the baby is crowning. For me, it does not slow labor down and really helps. I take vitamin c tablets during pregnancy to produce a stronger bag. Anywho, that is just my experience. 🙂
Anneli
Well this has been really refreshing to read! Hospital births are really vilified in the natural birth community. I share your perspective and have not even had to execute all of the steps you suggest because my husband has been my coach/doula/voice and he’s been amazing. My experiences, like yours, have have all been in the hospital and except for the first, they have been all natural. My first was a posterior birth no one knew was posterior.. it was traumatic, as my water broke at home and we labored half the time there with my midwife who did not have privileges at the local hospital.. Interventions included: a 3 hour respite (I napped!) on fetinol with pictocin to build the contractions strength at 11.5 hours in, after back labor and pushing for 2 hours and breathing through pushing contractions for 1 hour… and an episiotomy; that now looking back, was no help at all and I would have rather had a tear, (but we didn’t plan to be in the hospital so I had no birth plan to follow or voice in that area, Midwife was no longer present) plus by then—4.5 hours into pushing—I was up for anything! Plus we still didn’t know this whole time that his head was molding because he was posterior.? (Hello! Most impressive molding I’ve seen in birth to date!)
So the next go-round we planned to have a natural birth in the hospital with my husband as my coach/doula. It went sooo smoothly, we loved it! Husband has only become better and better with each labor and we are going to have #4 very soon, and I always look forward to the birth but Leo in mind all of the varieables you have done a wonderful job of laying out in this post! I would suggest anyone who reads this to pick up a copy of Husband Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way.. Plus a few (2-3) natural childbirth classes with our midwife and her husband, those are the only books we’ve read and they have proved invaluable. But keep in mind that the hospital birth has really come a long way from when the text was written and the natural birthing movement has blown up, so it’s no longer such a struggle to get the birth you want, while still having the peace of mind and comfort of immediate medical assistance in the case you need it. ?? Natural Childbirth in the Hospital needs more advocates!
Thanks for this post, lovely momma!
jenna huskey
Thank you so much for writing this. First time mom here who is freaked out about having a baby in the hospital. You have given me some piece of mind and somewhere to start planning my birth how I want it in the hospital. ?✌