I imagine all moms experience it at one time or another–mommy guilt. Today I’m joining three other bloggers–Stacy Makes Cents, Intentional by Grace and Day2Day Joys–in confronting the mommy guilt head on. We hope you’ll join all of us as we strive to put off “Mommy Guilt” and put on “Mommy Grace.”
When I was a working wife and then working mother, one thing I envied stay-at-home wives and mothers on was this: They got to attend daytime Bible studies.
I felt like I was missing out on in-depth studies and fellowship with other women.
Oh sure, I had my weekly prayer time with my co-workers. But I wanted something more.
And, for some reason, I thought that I’d have so much more time to pour over God’s Word when I became a stay-at-home mom.
(Um, what delusional world was I living in?!)
And then my dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom came true. And I signed up for my first Bible study. And I was right: It was absolutely everything I had dreamed it would be.
Until…baby #2 came along. It was then that the tranquil, God-honoring mornings of getting ready for Bible study turned into this:
Toddler Girl is running around half naked. She doesn’t want to eat breakfast, but, boy, I know if she doesn’t she will have a meltdown for her teachers.
The baby has a blow-out diaper…again.
I pack the bag: Diapers. Wipes. Extra outfit. Sippy Cup. Snack. Times two.
I dress the girls, and when it’s wintertime, I put on the extras: Coat. Hat. Scarf.
I glance at the clock: “We’re going to be late!”
And all the while, in my head, I hear this: “I just can’t get it together! I just can’t get it together!”
When we finally arrived at Bible study, I was out of breath and the girls were fussy–not wanting to go into their classrooms. Many, many days I’d have to chase the toddler down the hall when she refused to go into her classroom.
And I think I forgot to mention that I did this not once but twice per week. That’s right: Three weeks after my second baby was born I jumped right back into two in-depth Bible studies.
I smarted up a bit my when the baby turned a year and decided I’d just attend one Bible study per week. But still….Getting two very small children ready to get out the door and travel 25 minutes each way for me to attend Bible study each week left me frazzled–to say the least.
It wasn’t until the end of my most recent pregnancy with my third child that I finally realized that right now is NOT the season for me to be involved in an in-depth Bible study.
This decision did not come easy. I can still remember a conversation I had with a lady in her 40s when I was in the midst of PPD and struggling with all my Bible study commitments when my second child was an infant.
She was chiding me for not taking on a leadership position.
“I see other women leading the studies,” I said. “But I feel like I can barely get us there–much less lead one right now.”
“Well, I had three kids and I never, ever stopped serving. I led the children’s Bible study every single week–with three kids in tow.”
Her words stung.
But since then I’ve realized that everyone has a different threshold of how many commitments they can handle and attending those Bible studies wasn’t really drawing me closer to God.
Instead, it was feeding my Martha ambition to “do it all.”
When, really, the Lord wanted me to just come home and let Him form a Mary heart that sits quietly at his feet.
As I write this, I have different struggles. That Martha ambition? It gets me every time. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to fill that time I was running to Bible study with other things. Lesser things.
With my cell phone. With Facebook. With blogging.
Lord, help me to put off the mommy guilt, put on the mommy grace…and just be still and know that you are God.
How do you take off mommy guilt and put on mommy grace?
Be sure to visit the other posts in this hop!
When Quiet Times Aren’t So Quiet @Intentional By Grace
Making Time for Quiet Times @Day2Day Joys
I’m not Super Mom @Stacy Makes Cents