I am so incredibly honored to have Jessica from Smartter Each Day posting today about natural healing from miscarriage. I have not personally suffered from a miscarriage, but I have many friends and readers who have. I hope this post ministers to your heart today! ~Erin
by Jessica of Smartter Each Day, Contributing Writer
*Disclaimer: I am not a physician nor a nurse, and the advice offered is not intended to replace that of your doctor. Consult your doctor for health concerns.
Miscarriage is awful.
It’s unnatural. It should never happen. Everything about it feels weird, and abnormal, and just awful.
If you are reading this because you, too, have suffered, I’m so sorry.
image by paschal79
I have been there. But I don’t pretend for a second to understand your experience. I hardly understand my own. I was surprised at the many different emotions I experienced.
Of course there was grief, but also fear and anxiety, guilt, regret, sadness, gratitude…
The guilt was the worst. (Isn’t guilt always the worst?) It was my fault. God didn’t think I could handle more kids. I’m not suffering in the right way. My grief is too much, or not enough, or not the “right” kind.
And here’s the most punishing blow of the a miscarriage: in addition to the emotional toil, your body is a physical, hormonal wreck.
I’m an analytical person; I always like to have a plan. But no one likes to plan for, or talk about, miscarriage. I had no idea how to recover.
And actually, I found research to be quite limited…Although I found pages and pages of websites devoted to recovery from childbirth, I found very few on how to recover naturally from miscarriage.
In the months since then, I wanted to create the resource I was looking for: natural, holistic healing from miscarriage.
Here are some treatment suggestions to deal with common issues that arise with miscarriage. {As always, consult your doctor or midwife for your own personal care needs.}
image by vitiyaa
Recover from blood loss by increasing iron, folic acid, protein, and vitamins B and C in your diet.
Here are some recommended foods:
- leafy greens,
- eggs,
- clams and seafood,
- citrus
- and lean meats.
Beef liver is also excellent, if you can eat that.
Here are a few meals you could make with those foods:
- Nourishing Berry Smoothie,
- vegetable omelet,
- Cobb salad with tuna and dark greens,
- beef stew,
- or spinach salad topped with salmon.
Increase fluids.
This will decrease fatigue, and help you recover from blood loss. If you’re having trouble chugging plain water, add frozen fruit or sliced citrus, or drink orange juice with vitamin C (which aids in iron absorption).
Acknowledge you are stressed, and de-stress.
Only you know what de-stresses you. Two things helped me. A day after my miscarriage my mom said, “When this is over, you and Todd are going out to dinner.” Just the thought of that fun, normal time was healing. We went to a fancy restaurant and enjoyed a much-needed date. Second, I enjoyed a luxurious healing epsom salt and lavender bath. Don’t leave out the wine (if desired) and calming music.
image by Bev Lloyd-Roberts
Naturally re-balance hormones.
It came as a surprise (although it shouldn’t have) that just as I experienced hormone fluctuations after my births, I also did after my miscarriage.
I had suffered from post-partum depression, and I felt like I went through a mini-version after my miscarriage.
Several things are thought to aid in balancing hormones:
- reducing sugar intake,
- using quality sea salt,
- drinking chamomile tea
- and consuming coconut oil (stir into coffee or tea, spoon into oatmeal or saute with veggies).
Mostly, it helped me to remember: my hormones are going crazy right now, but it will get better soon.
Sleep, and sleep well.
Easier said than done, right? Like most moms, I struggle with feeling exhausted and am always trying to boost my energy levels.
I found myself extra fatigued after my miscarriage, and I spent a month or so napping when my kids were napping, going to bed earlier, and not over-exerting myself. Slowly I began to feel better.
Watch for, and treat, depression.
For obvious reasons, depression is common after miscarriage.
A commonly-prescribed herb for depression is St. John’s wort. Counseling and moderate daily exercise also help.
I found that after two weeks of even taking a brisk daily walk, I felt happier and more energetic.
Deal with anxiety if it arises.
I struggle with anxiety regularly, so it was not a surprise that it began to rear its awful head during the weeks to follow my miscarriage.
It was helpful just to admit it – that I’m feeling anxious and out-of-wack because I’m still struggling with miscarriage. Recently, I read that red raspberry leaf tea can help adjust hormones due to anxiety.
image by Andreas Krappweis
Use common sense, and let your body heal.
Just as in childbirth, your body has experienced a trauma.
Here are some blunt (but important) tidbits for physical healing:
- To prevent infection, don’t use tampons or have intercourse until you’ve stopped bleeding.
- Don’t do long runs, bike rides, or heavy lifting while you’re still recovering.
- Expect the bleeding to last a week at least, but up to several weeks.
- Don’t try to get pregnant again for a few cycles.
- And of course, R.E.S.T. (See above!)
Grow hope.
I know this isn’t as “practical,” but a friend offered to me the beautiful idea of planting a tree or plant outside. I loved the thought of of a visible reminder of our loss, and that the Lord is good, and brings beauty out of pain.
Have you suffered a miscarriage? What is one thing you would say or offer to a woman who is facing miscarriage? What are some natural helps for miscarriage healing?
Bio: Jessica Smartt is a former middle-school teacher who lives in beautiful North Carolina. You can find her blogging at www.smarttereachday.com where she enjoys poking fun at the everyday challenges of motherhood, sharing delicious allergy-free recipes, and rejoicing that God still loves her no matter what phobia she has recently developed. She is blessed beyond belief with two Smartt little boys and a husband who can fix anything.
Naomi
YES! I had a miscarriage before our first child was born, so I really didn’t know/understand much about birth and the after-effects. A day after I miscarried we made a 2-day trip from SC to AZ to care for 7 of my nieces & nephews for a week. I just assumed that once the miscarriage was over life would get back to normal. That was 2.5 years ago and reading your post just explained so much of what I went through/felt. I wish I had read this then!
One thing I would say, may not be for everyone, but for me it was healing/helpful to have other people know about my miscarriage. I really experienced the loving body of Christ in a way I never had before. I felt the ministry of the body and I felt like God had entrusted me with the gift of being able to empathize with others who had suffered similarly. If I hadn’t experienced this I would be clueless how to comfort/pray for other people.
Jessica
Naomi,
You are so right. I guess that’s one of the “blessings” of suffering like this (or in general?) – feeling the love of other Christians.
Thanks for responding!
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story…it sounds like you have blessed many other by being open about this!
Nikki
What I am just realizing now 6 weeks after my baby died at 17 weeks gestation is that the initial news of his death was hard, but the experience of facing every moment in the future I had already imagined with him in it is a new loss. We had been planning our gender reveal, so I grieved not having that event to celebrate. I had planned to get a cute Halloween maternity shirt, now I will anticipate grieving that. I had picked out a Christmas dress for when I would 38 weeks pregnant at Christmas, now I won’t wear that. Every day is a day to grieve anew because he won’t be there. So momma, don’t beat yourself if you are still grieving, you aren’t just grieving the day your baby died, you are grieving each new day without your baby.
Dorothy
Nikki – I just wanted to say my heart is hurting with you today, and I’m praying for you. <3
Rebecca
I thank you for this blog. I thank you for helping me to feel allowed to grieve, but also have hope. I have just had a 6th. miscarriage. I had 4 a previous marriage and 2 in my marriage now. I have a 17 year old son whom was my second pregnancy 3 miscarriages (one being born asleep at 28 weeks – 3rd. pregnancy). After my last miscarriage and the end of my marriage, I never thought that I could validate my hopes in having another child. Now married to someone willing and able, I brought that hope to life. Long story short, I miscarried once in June and then JUST stopped bleeding from a miscarriage that began the 23rd. of December. With this last pregnancy, although just right at 7 weeks, I allowed myself to let go of ALL anxiety and fear and just Invision and hope for what the days to come were going to feel like – from the tummy that will grow to ALL of the things I wanted to nurture and grow in this life. I know my son is 17, but I had so much more wisdom to give and strongly desired to impart. My son is such a blessing and has grown so very fast. I pray that he matures and chases after his God given purpose, because he sure does have one! I know we all do, I just pray he will see this as a true testament to his given purpose.
I never was “allowed” to grieve my other children when I lost them. I didn’t allow myself and I felt a burden to anyone and everyone around me (maybe me, too). Some would pat me off and some truly didn’t know what to say or do, and that is ok. But it sure does make for a very lonely walk. I thank you so much for helping it not feel so lonely. I thank the Father for the life he has given me and around me.
God bless you and all of those in this sometimes and seemingly lonely process.
Stacey M
I have suffered from two miscarriages, both of which were more difficult for me than for my husband! It makes sense, but added to the pain, because I felt so completely alone in what I was feeling. After our second miscarriage, he had the wonderful idea of writing letters to each of the babies (whom we had named Glory and Trust) to let them know how I felt. We then folded the letters up like little boats, visited a nearby creek, and watched the boats float down the river slowly as we hugged and I cried. It was amazingly healing for me to have a tangible way to “let them go”. Blessings to all the other moms who are experiencing this pain.
Jessica smartt
How special that your husband thought of that. Blessings to you.
Marie
Hi Jessica,
I just went through a miscarriage a few weeks ago. This was my 4th baby. God bless you and thank you for sharing. I’m in NC too.
Erin
I am so sorry for your loss.
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story…what a great idea with the letters. I hope some other moms can be blessed by that as well!
Jesse
Thank you for sharing this. I just recently miscarried and feel I’ll, at some point, need a tangible way of letting the baby go. I’m not sure that I’m ready for that yet, but it sounds like it could help me with some healing.
Carissa
What a great post. I think your thoughts on depression are absolutely spot on. After my third miscarriage, I experienced profound depression that lasted for 2 years. It had never occurred to us to possibly see a doctor and get help treating it like one would do with post-partum depression and I think it would have helped immensely.
One thing I struggled with as a post-miscarriage mom was struggling to have to go back to my normal life and resume all my normal responsibilities as if nothing had happened. Offering a woman relief from her regular duties – taking any other kids she has for a day to give her some time to herself, providing a meal so she doesn’t have to cook, giving her time off from work can help her have some time to process her emotions and rest instead of feeling like she has to pretend everything is okay in order to get things done and running herself ragged at a time where her body needs extra rest in order to recover.
Jessica smartt
Those are all excellent suggestions. Those helpful acts meant so much to me!
Erin
Thank you so much for these suggestions, Carissa!
Bethany Learn - Fit2B Studio
Shared this article on my FB timeline where it is already ministering to many of my mama friends. So well written! Several of my friends have suffered from miscarriage. I have, too. It’s very hard. We women don’t talk about it much, so young mothers who go through it are often surprised by how agonizing it is to lose a baby, even quite early in a pregnancy. I can tell you that it rocked my world, shattered my faith, left me sobbing harder than my worst breakup in college… but time heals. I realize this will sound a bit pagan, but I like to think that my vivacious, crazy, energetic daughter who was conceived 6 months after my loss, that her soul simply needed a stronger body, because it was confirmed that my first never even had a heartbeat. They said it was just a “blighted ovum.” Other times, I remember how real that baby felt to me. I named him Noah for the flood of tears the rainbow promise of new beginnings. If “he” was a true soul, I hope to meet him one day in heaven. #dontjudgemypain #beKINDtohurtingmothers
Erin
Thank you so much for sharing on FB, Beth & thanks for sharing your own story and giving other mamas a glimpse of your pain. You are a blessing!
Serenity de Clare
Yes, this is important too, but what about those who suffer from infertility? Or debilitating endometriosis for over a decade? Hysterectomy? Multiple surgeries? Endometriosis that comes back after hysterectomy that was thought gone? Pain and suffering who desperately want a child when other people can have babies for free when we have to buy them??? That is what angers and depresses me… I equate miscarriage and the death of a child to infertility and the death of a million eggs that will never be…
Erin
I am so sorry it sounds like you are dealing with infertility, Serenity. I truly cannot even begin to imagine your pain. I think there is no way to compare miscarriage, infertility, stillborn and the birth of a child with an chronic disease, etc. They are ALL painful. The pain of infertility does not diminish the pain of miscarriage. The woman who has miscarried may have experienced both…to have had the brief hope of meeting a child here on earth and then to have that hope lost.
We each have different life trials. One is not better or worse than the other.
I pray you receive peace and comfort and healing!
Jessica
Serenity,
Thank you for your honest comments. I am so, so sorry for the struggles that it sounds like you are facing. I wrote this article specifically because after I miscarried, I didn’t find a good resource for the physical healing needed specifically for miscarriage. Erin was gracious enough to post it here for all her readers who may also need this information. This is no way diminishes the struggles so many (many of my dear friends included are facing.)
This post of Erin’s came to mind: https://thehumbledhomemaker.com/2013/05/rejoicing-and-mourning-on-mothers-day.html … I remember reading it and feeling sympathetic to ALL women and their struggles, yours included.
Erin
Thank you for sharing this, Jessica!
Stacey Carter
They are with Him… be comforted.
we will see them again.
Erin
Amen
Jenny J
Our small little one passed almost 7 years ago and since then two more miscarriages. Our first was born at 7.5 months gestation, he lived for 36 hours. Then left us. I was at more peace about our little boy we lost than my husband or my father. I could understand why and how. And understood that G-d was in control. The next two were the trials for me. The second was right after we moved to university so my husband could go to school. It was early about 9 weeks or so. It racked me with feelings I wasn’t sure I could come out of. He (my husband) couldn’t understand. The last I was not even aware I was expecting. It was our last semester at university. I thought I was getting a really bad period. I was so wrong. It has been almost 3 years since. I am finally at peace with all of the blessings passed. My faith is fiercer, my relationship with hubby is stronger.
“I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.
As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
When you see this, your heart will rejoice
and you will flourish like grass;
the hand of the L-RD will be made known to his servants,
but his fury will be shown to his foes.
-Isaiah 66:12-14
Erin
Thank you for sharing both your story and these scripture verses. May you continue to be filled with peace!
mai-ling
We had a miscarriage two year ago.
It was heartbreaking. We had just
announced we were about three weeks
not realizing it was just too soon to say.
And three weeks earlier, my body
rejected what was the making of an embryo.
However, my OBGYN re-assured me
50% of women have miscarriages and that
they I wait two cycles and start trying again.
Sure enough we did and I had a beautiful
and healthy baby girl almost a year ago.
In a way, we comforted ourselves and realized
that maybe we weren’t ready even though we
wanted to get pregnan.t and in many other
ways, it was my body doing what it does
naturally and that it wasn’t meant to be.
Either way, we were blessed and everyone
see’s how much joy we have and all the people
who meet us share within our joy.
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story! So happy for you to have your baby girl!
514625
Thank you for this. I just lost my first baby and had a d&c two days ago. I was ten and a half weeks but the baby had stopped growing just shy of eight weeks. I don’t even know the details of all of it yet, but they thought I was having a molar pregnancy but then found a normal baby as well. I went from thinking I was pregnant to being told there wasn’t a baby, but just a lot of abnormal tissue (I was measuring 14 weeks at 10 and a half), to finding out after I woke up that there really was a baby. I wish I could have seen it on an ultrasound. I’m pretty devastated. I understand the pain with infertility too as I have PCOS and it took us 18 months to conceive. I’m trying to let myself grieve but still function and be conscious of how everything is affecting my husband as well. We were both very excited. I feel like I just have no idea what to do, and like I don’t know what God wants from me for this time. Sometimes I feel so thankful to have had the little bit of a pregnancy experience that I had, thankful for the time I had with the baby (even though I was pretty sick for most of it), and just thankful that I was able to get pregnant at all. It was a very happy time. Then sometimes I just wish I could die too. I’m really struggling too because we’ll have to wait 6-12 months to try again. Not that I feel like I’ll be ready to try again any time soon after this, but the thought of having to prevent it (something I’ve never done in my life, nor had any desire to) breaks my heart. I very badly want another baby, but I’m so afraid of it happening again. Anyway, this was helpful, as were the other readers’ comments. Thank you.
Jessica
I am so sorry to hear your story. How heart-breaking. I, too, understand a little bit of that agony in *having* to wait. I know this sounds so cliche to say, but for me, during the very dark and horrible times in my life, Christian counseling has been so powerful. There is a link I know of where you can find a Christian counselor in your area… You can email me at jessicasmartt at gmail.com if you’re interested. I’ll dig it up. I know that in no way eliminates the pain you’re feeling, but I know for me it helped me to get through those extremely hard times. Saying a prayer for you.
Jennifer
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have been there with the PCOS and infertility and pregnancy loss. May God give you peace and comfort. I had horrible anxiety after my first miscarriage (which for me the first loss was the worst) , please don’t be afraid to seek help if you start to feel anxious. Rest and take it easy for a while. The emotional turmoil from pregnancy loss is overwhelming and many may not understand, but that’s ok, because we all grieve in our own time and in our own way. Prayers for you!
S. Hanna
A close friend of mine gifted us with a tree to plant in honor of the baby we lost–it is the most meaningful gift I’ve ever received and has brought so much comfort as we have watched it grow.
Jessica
What a thoughtful friend you have. Thanks for sharing.
Debbra W
Dear sisters in life, you must know that miscarriages are truly normal. All animals have them in the same proportion that we humans do. I suffered eight miscarriages during my early twenties. I finally had my first child on my 30th birthday. I was told that I should be thankful that I did not carry each pregnancy to term. The child would surely have been quite sickly, or worse. It is sad, upsetting and miserable to go through a miscarriage, but find someone to talk to who will give you all the hugs you need. Know that Heavenly Father watches over all of us and miscarriages are a part of His plan. I’m okay and I’ll pray for each one of you.
Amanda Zambrano
I have not had a miscarriage, but losing my preemie son after going into preterm labor in my second trimester has given me a tiny window into that world. Acknowledging that a miscarriage is a death, a loss of a person in your family, does wonders for the healing process.
I would add to your list finding ways to care for your soul. Whether you plug in with a religious group, find some good reading resources (I strongly recommend Holding Onto Hope), or doing some art therapy (check out Beryl Ayn Young’s Illuminate Photography Class), its important to acknowledge that not only is your body, mind and heart tired, but your soul needs rest, too.
I’m a huge advocate of Still Standing Magazine, and online magazine/support group for women who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant death or infertility. They have many great resources and thoughtful bloggers that have been instrumental to me as I’ve mentally, emotionally and spiritually processed the death of a child.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Blessings on all of those who have a missing piece in their families. <#
L.
Thank you for writing this article. We had our first pregnancy and an early miscarriage this past week. Reading your words and seeing reader’s responses is very comforting. It is very validating to know I am not alone in the emotions and thoughts I have been experiencing in a roller coaster of a month. I hope many others stumble across this page like I did! Again, thank you and God Bless.
Erin
I am so, so sorry for your loss. May God give you peace tonight!
lynaia
I went through a miscarriage in Feb. My body has been off since. What remedies will help level the hormones. I’ve heard iron can help. Is this true?
carolyn
Wow, thank you for those beautiful words. I have just suffered a miscarriage. It helps to know you are not alone. Thank you for the wonderful tips. I have planted my tree of hope.
Belinda
Thank you for writing this article and for all the people that have shared their experiences.
My husband and I had been tying to get pregnant for 16 months after I has been diagnosed with PSOS. We finally fell
Pregnant and were so thrilled. Unfortunately at 10 weeks I suffered a miscarriage. It was the saddest time of my life. Not to mention exhausting. Not only emotionally but also physically.
We are holding into the hope that God knows the desires of our hearts and Hie plans and timing are perfect. I am so happy that there are people out there that are not afraid or ashamed to talk a out miscarraige. Thank you
Kim
After 2 easy pregnancies, we had a miscarriage at 10.5 weeks. I was shocked when the u/s showed no heartbeat. The next day I woke up actively miscarrying and spent the next 5 hours losing more blood than I ever imagined one could lose! Friends & family surrounded us, took the older kids, brought meals, flowers, came to cry and hold us. I was amazed at God’s love for us poured out through our friends. The physical healing took so much longer than I ever would have guessed. I think that’s what I’d want women to know most…it will take weeks to feel physically normal. For two weeks I was too weak to do much of anything, and I’m not exactly wimpy! And another 5-7 weeks to regain strength. Let your body heal, give it time! For those supporting someone else who has miscarried, just show up! Don’t ignore the topic. You don’t need fancy speeches. Just be there, with flowers, a meal, a hug. One dear friend called last week to say she was thinking of me, asked how far along I would have been (20 weeks…starting to feel movement). That call, and her acknowledging that our baby was a loss others were grieving with us, and that others still remembered our baby is a treasure I will hold dear my entire life. Let grieving moms (and dads) know their baby is not forgotten. Miscarriage is a topic nobody talks about. Post-birth and even post-abortion websites abound, but there is so little on miscarriage. Thanks for this post, I pray others find it to help heal their broken hearts.
Reply
Brittany
This is exactly the kind of article I was just searching for. I have two little boys with whom I had very typical, easy, healthy pregnancies. I never expected to suffer a miscarriage. My family and I are missionaries overseas and were so excited when we found out we were expecting #3. I was 11 weeks when I went in to hear my baby’s heartbeat. The doctor spent all of 5 minutes with me (I was alone, because my husband had to be with my two other kids) and there was no care or sympathy. Everything was handled so matter of factly. The baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and had no heartbeat. I wanted to miscarry naturally. We were 4 hours from home (that’s where the private hospital is) and staying in a hotel. It was miserable. We decided to head home after what I thought the worst was over and just before we left, I started hemorrhaging. I had to go to the hospital and get a D & C. I’m so frustrated by the whole experience, but also frustrated that I’m having to rest and can’t really help my husband take care of our box and everything around the house. We are very much alone where we are so while we have an outpouring of love and support from everyone back in the States, there’s no one to help with meals or kids or anything. And no one here really gets it. I’m getting comments like, “You already have 2 kids, just be grateful.” Or, “It’s okay, you are young.” As if that helps with the pain of losing a child. There’s still so much I’m still trying to sort out and I just want it to all be over. I want to give myself time to heal and rest and grieve, but I also feel like that’s not possible given our environment. So many feelings and so many things I have to sort through. Thank you for this practical help.
Annie Craven
Thanks for sharing this amazing post! It’s something special to know that women are talking more about their experiences as each one is truly different. Great work!
Kalimah Yusuf
Thank you so much for this post! Experiencing such a loss can be a lonely and stressful time but reading this post has really helped me to feel so much more hopeful <3 I feel uplifted , empowered and hopeful. Thanks .
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April
I had a 3 yr old at home and happily found out I was pregnant with our second child. At the first ultrasound I found out it was twins. And also that the heart rates were abnormally low. The NP said it “doesn’t look promising”. I still held out hope because I felt God could do anything. I had one ultrasound a week for the next few weeks and on the 10th week there was no heartbeat. I was devastated. I chose to wait and let my body abort naturally but then after a week I began to get creeped out that I was carrying dead babies around inside me. It was gross and just prolonged my emotional pain. I finally elected to have a D&C done and although it was pretty terrifying (I had never had any type of surgery and was 36 at the time) I was so relieved when it was over and done. Thank God we had not told anyone about the pregnancy besides close family. My hormones were all over the place, I was a total mess. I did not want to go anywhere or see anyone and I especially did not want to go to church. I was pissed off at God. I felt like he was punishing me and that He could have saved my babies, but He didn’t. I had one period then tried to get pregnant again, all I wanted was to be pregnant. Well, it worked (turns out me and hubby are extremely fertile) and we had a beautiful healthy baby girl in June 2013. Carra has helped to heal my miscarriage wounds, but the experience changed me forever, mostly for the better because it taught me not to waste any time on things that are not important to me or the betterment of my family. It also changed my mind on letting my 3 yr old sleep in our bed…I discovered life is too short for babies to always sleep in their own bed! I am now 34 weeks pregnant with our third child and thankful every day for my daughters, they make me so very happy. I am also tight with God again 🙂
Erica Bawell
I am 5 weeks post-miscarriage. Most of the time I’m ok but then someone will make a ridiculous comment and I’m sent back to the event. Lost our baby at 10 weeks pregnant, baby didn’t grow beyond 6 weeks gestation, and no heartbeat. I passed him/her naturally. Journaling has been my biggest help. Even a lifesaver, emotionally. Also, my husband doesn’t quite understand although he’s “understanding” towards me. Also, with telling people close to me, sometimes they think that they can bring it up whenever they want. I’d rather not talk about it. So, to get my thoughts out without someone giving an unwanted opinion, JOURNALING has been my saving grace. Blessings to you all during the long or short healing. I’m thankful for the Spirit of God for putting me in touch with the right people and ideas.
Jane @ Devoted Sonriser
Thank you for sharing this. This is all very relevant to me right now, because I just miscarried our first baby a little over 3 months ago. I definitely agree that there isn’t enough practical info on the web about healing physically from a miscarriage. I felt like my heart had no chance of beginning to heal until my body healed first. I’m going to start implementing your advice today–especially the tips for re-balancing hormones. Thank you again.
Allison
I had a miscarriage in January of this year. It was a total shock after having two normal/healthy pregnancies and births. I struggled with every “symptom” described especially wondering if I was grieving “correctly”. I went straight back to work a few days later to every co workers surprise. Being out of the house, anywhere at all, was better than being at home, but soon began to worry that people thought I was being insensitive. Now, I know that was just in my head. I’ve seen people deal with it in different ways. I love the idea of planting a tree, wish I would have thought of that. Instead, I decided a couple weeks after miscarriage that I wanted to do something in honor of my angel baby, something I couldn’t have done had I been pregnant. I ended up taking a trip to Guatemala and helped build a house for a mother and her two daughters. What a blessing.
Ariel
Very good tips. I would definitely add, though this is hard to make happen on your own, to ask for meals to be dropped off. My church community surrounded me with support, and these gifts were very helpful. Instead of making food while my son napped, I could process what had happened to me, journal, grieve. That was very important for me to do, emotionally. Also, reach out. You don’t have to do this alone. Talking with other women who have gone through it is very healing.
Mom of 8 - 4 here, 4 above
I’ve miscarried 4 times – two were very early miscarriages, too early for a pregnancy test but with all the pregnancy symptoms and then an unusual “period” with cramps which I never have anymore.
The two babies that I carried long enough to get a positive test, it was healing for me to name them. I never found a body either time, but I went with my “gut” feeling on which gender they were. I can think about – or talk about – Wyatt or Esther without calling them “the miscarriage.”
Julia
I had a miscarriage a month ago at 9 weeks the baby had stopped growing about a week earlier. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. One of the things that has really helped me heal is burying the baby in a cemetery, our city does this for free and many do, and naming the baby. I feel like it helps to validate that I lost a real person and that my grief is realistic. Taking extra time to think, pray and process is also very helpful.
Tanya
Oops, I’m sorry, I hoped yall were approving each post.
Erin
Hi Tanya! I just “unapproved” your other post, so no one will be able to see it now! Thanks so much for the tip!
Irene
What I read says that it is important to have uterine rest for 2-4 weeks which means no baths or hot tubs (tampons, sex etc.) so best not to recommend baths as risk of infection increases. Also doctors now say you can start trying the cycle after one nartual period so no need to wait for months.
Emily Schwartz
Thank you for sharing this post. I had two miscarriages 9 years ago and had my son in 2008. I recently had another miscarriage last week. This is such great information and a comfort to me.
Jennifer
I had a miscarriage @ 12.5 weeks. It was my baby girl I had been dreaming about. I’m 34 yrs old & have 2 beautiful boys. I had to receive fertility help to conceive both boys. After I got pregnant, I had healthy pregnancies. (Low progesterone in first trimester) I didn’t think I would have any trouble w my pregnancy, so it was heartbreaking when the perinatal specialist told me there was no heartbeat. I had just heard it at my 12 week check-up w my on-gyn. 🙁 I had hyperemesis with my pregnancy & was in & out of the hospital 7 times to get ivs & nausea medicine. My ob-gyn suggested I have a D&C procedure asap otherwise I would continue to be sick. He was able to schedule my surgery that same day. He gave me a pill, cyototex, to soften my cervix before the surgery. I started having cramping/contractions & bleeding. an hour before the surgery I started bleeding heavily & my baby girl passed on her own. The dr still recommended the surgery b/c he needed to get the tissue out still. I had surgery(outpatient) & recovered pretty normally. My throat was sore from the tube they put down it & I had cramping & bleeding. I took an 800mg Ibprofren daily for a week or so. I was able to resume walking & other activities after the first couple of days. Take it easy & don’t over exert your body. Lavender essential oils seemed to help & so did calming & joy oils. Drink lots of water to flush the toxins, green smoothies to replenish lost minerals, lots of sleep, light walking. I also felt detox bath helped me, but I waited 1 week, as I didn’t want an infection. Miscarriages are an invisible loss, but you can go on & hAve a healthy pregnancy. Be kind to your body & nourish it to help it heal.
Serenity
I had a miscarriage on Wednesday and was researching miscarriage recovery and came across this article. So many awesome suggestions…. Will probably refer back to this over the next few weeks.
Leslie
I am currently having a miscarriage and browsing blogs to read about the experiences of others. I was disappointed that one of the first claims made by this author is that misscarriages are unnatural. That’s absolutely incorrect, and it is sad to read that claim.
Erin
I’m so sorry the post hurt you. Prayers for you today. <3
Annamarie Overland
We had miscarried 5 years ago. It was the worst pain id ever known. We found out February 4th I was late test was positive. I fell to my knees and cried with joy. Went to my appointment Valentine’s Day and saw our little Angel. She said she saw a flutter like a heartbeat wanted me to come back the following thursday. I was so nervous scared and again felt like I did 5 years ago. Same thing . I just wanted to curl up and be alone. It was like i was here all over again same pain my heart completely broken into. Our pastor called as i pulled up to our driveway my husband had called him and told the news of what happened. He prayed with me and said we not giving up yet we know God is faithful. My husband left work and stayed by my side all weekend as I been passing everything. I have felt so numb. I’m so frustrated why I cant have my husband’s baby. Why is this happening why my dr they aren’t testing me to see why it keeps happening. Just not sure how to go from here.
Nichole
I had an early miscarriage Friday. I have a 9 year old son and 11 year old daughter. This was my third pregnancy and it ended so soon after I realized what was happening. But even with it being early it has been emotionally and physically traumatizing. I got pregnant with an IUD in, miscarried and then ended up in the ER from blood loss ensuing as my body was trying to expel the IUD after the baby had already left. I am a birth doula and have provided support to women during miscarriages and still birth, but never had experienced anything close to it myself. I am stunned by how much this hurts my heart even though it was so early and I wasn’t trying for a baby. Physically it has been traumatizing. The IUD had to come out and the ER doctor really did a number on me during the pelvic exam trying to get it out. I have been up late crying almost every night since it happened. I have been essentially put on bedrest until the bleeding lightens and had to take a week off of work. Being forced to rest is horrible right now because it forces me to acknowledge this isn’t just a bad period. My significant other has been the most supportive and amazing partner through this…even though he didn’t want a baby right now either when we found out the baby was gone we both stayed up most of the night crying. We named our baby Mallory Theo. And since this horrible ordeal with an IUD and my inability to tolerate hormones, we’ve made the decision that I’m no longer going to be on any form of birth control and will instead immerse myself in fertility tracking…I know the IUD is at least partially responsible for the miscarriage and neither one of us wants to live through this again if there is anything we can do to help decrease the chances it will happen…but for now my body is sore and bloody and my heart hurts. It’s only been a few days and I am trying to gather little things as a memorial to this baby but I also wonder how long until this stops hurting?
KC
Fertility tracking can be so anazing! It is a little expensive, but I recommend the baby comp.
Alyssa
Thank you for all who have shared their most personal, heart breaking experiences on this site. I too have suffered a miscarriage; actually I am still going through it. We were told very early on (only about a week after the positive home test) that my HCG level was on the low side and was not doubling every 48 hours as “textbook pregnancy” requires for a healthy pregnancy. We were told to expect a miscarriage. Devastated and in shock is putting it lightly with how I felt. How was I going to stay peaceful to counteract the stress hormone cortisol that was racing through my body? I was a mess and wouldn’t even let myself be excited with my first pregnancy because of how retain the doctor was. She was “right”, I have been loosing the baby for 10 days now, but feel very angry. I ended up going to another doctor after 2 ER visits with threatened miscarriage. The second was a certified nurse midwife and even after reviewing all my history with the pregnancy (2 ER visits with bleeding/clots- 4 HCG tests) she told me “Never say Never.
Pregnancy is not textbook and anything can happen. Stay peaceful and rest.” I went home that day feeling redeemed- holding my little stomach forming and feeling blessed and thankful for this miracle I was given. She gave me hope.
My miscarriage started late that night and has been a really scary road for almost two weeks of natural miscarriage at home. I don’t like feeling the anger I have towards the first doctor. I do not blame her, she is not perfect and wasn’t being malicious, I just feel like early pregnancy is so fragile and making an assessment with two numbers ( HCG 153 to 274 in 44 hours) and not giving any hope was not right. I feel as though our baby didn’t have a fighting chance from the beginning, I went into such cases fear and shock after her news. How can one doctor be so doom and gloom and then another be so hopeful even after seeing my record with the pregnancy. So many lessons from this. How do you measure hope? I know its powerful and I know it changes circumstances. I want to write the first doctor and explain my story and share in my belief that if they treated early pregnancy a little differently and gave women more hope; their miscarriage rates, just in my option, would be less. Hope always you strong beautiful women! My heart is with you all; I know how hard this pain is. But rainbows come after storms! Hope on!!!!
Leslie
I’m thankful that I was able to experience and heal after miscarriage my own way. My husband and I told our mothers. He told his, per my request, that she should not ask me about it until (we set a certain date), and I told my mom to please tell the rest of the family the new information and also pass on my request that no one talk to me about it. I didn’t have the resources to respond to anyone else that would be emotionally involved.
Another thing I did was keep people close to me. When my husband worked (nights), I had people come watch movies and eat with me after our oldest went to bed. I didn’t get into a very bad place emotionally, but I wanted the insurance of having someone nearby, just in case.
I was able to give birth at home. The whole experience still seems too big for words.
KC
Thank you for sharing. I suffered a loss at 26 weeks. Definitely aren’t many websites devoted to recovering after a stillbirth. Mostly just found inconsolable wrecks, but I was hoping for some positivity. 🙂