Before I started blogging, I was a mommy columnist for my local newspaper, and several months ago I wrote about 10 things I said I’d never do as a mom–that I’ve done. Today I’m sharing part 1, and come back tomorrow for part 2! I hope you’ll give me some grace with this post–and share those things about motherhood that you never imagined yourself doing as well!
Whenever I hear a single or married-without-children friend comment that they will never do this or that with their future kids, I have to chuckle.
I remember a time when I just knew my future children would be well-behaved little angels, that I would feed them only the healthiest of foods and that I would never, ever get frustrated with them.
Now wasn’t I humbled in this area?
Five years and three little girls later, I can pinpoint at least 10 things I’ve done as a mother that I said I would never, ever do! I’m sharing five of those things today, and I’ll keep you in suspense until I share the other five tomorrow!
1. I would never change a diaper after my kids turned 2.
I think God must have a sense of humor here. I remember having to change a friend’s toddler’s dirty diaper when my oldest was a baby. One look at the diaper and I said: “My children will be potty trained long before this!” Ha!
My oldest didn’t fully potty train until age 4, and I was so scarred by the experience that I haven’t even attempted to start potty training my almost 3 year old!
2. I would never use cloth diapers.
Doesn’t everyone know that cloth diapers are so much grosser than disposables? Actually, they aren’t. I hate to break the news, but poop is poop – no matter what “catches” it. And since I’ve had years of two in diapers at the same time, cloth diapering has saved my family money.
I actually now love using cloth diapers – so much so that I wrote an eBook manual on using cloth diapers!
3. I would never breastfeed longer than a year.
Wait? Do people actually breastfeed longer than a year? Yes, they do – and I’m one of them!
When my oldest turned 1 and showed no signs of weaning, I researched extended breastfeeding and found out that the World Health Organization actually recommends nursing until age 2 or until the child self-weans.
My oldest stopped on her own when she was nearly 2, and my second self-weaned around 18 months. My third child is almost 13 months and still nurses five to six times per day. So, yes, that means I’ve now been pregnant or breastfeeding (and sometimes both!) for six years now. And although I’m a bit exhausted at times (well, maybe more than a bit!), I’m perfectly content with that.
4. I would never let my kids sleep in the same room with me – much less the same bed.
It’s true that we placed our firstborn in her crib in her own room from the time she came home from the hospital, but since, up until very recently, we’ve lived in a two-bedroom house, our second and third babies had to sleep in bassinets in our bedroom.
To say we’ve suffered from lack of sleep over the past few years would be an understatement. Sometimes I think I forget what it feels like not to be tired.
But really, I love having my babies so close. Most nights, I’ll also wake up to a toddler and preschooler who have sneaked into our room and wedged their little bodies between me and my husband.
image by eperales
5. I would never use a pacifier without first sanitizing it.
I’m sure first-time moms probably cringe when they observe me popping a pacie that’s fallen to the ground in my baby’s mouth. That’s OK. I probably cringed at other moms when I was a first-time mom, too! 😉
Gabrielle@MamaGab
You hit on all of mine! Cloth diapers and extended breastfeeding in particular were two things that I was quite outspoken on NEVER doing and I’m so happy that I’m eating my words now. Perspective is everything, isn’t it, and the perspective of someone without children is far different than a mom in the trenches. My primary parenting rule now is never say never.
Erin
Yep–never say never!!
Gloria
I didn’t think I would extended breastfeeding either. Noah eats candy and fast food and I never thought I would allow that! 🙂
Erin
Ha! Tomorrow I will mention hot dogs. 😉
Charlotte
I would frown upon kids misbehaving in public. My precious 5 year old must have known her momma was judging those parents and I am now earning PAYBACK!! I will never EVER judge anyone again but only pause and pray for the parent. Love this post Erin!
Erin
Thanks, Charlotte! Yes, sometimes I feel like stopping parents and saying: “Look, I completely know how you feel!”
Dawn
And I do stop and encourage the mommas who are simply trying to get the milk and eggs and out of the store while multiple children are throwing a tantrum! They receive “looks” from everyone in the store. How a child is reacting during a small amount of time in a crowded aisle is not necessarily an indication of their character development. So I always stop and smile at the momma and simply remind her that she is a good mom, even when she may not feel like it.
Gwen
Folks like you are a God-send for the temper tantrum toddler days. I hate getting the “looks” from others if my child just happens to want to throw a fit…or better yet when one cries and it urges all the others to cry at the same time. Leaving the store without groceries is not an option as time is so valuable….and really, who wants to go through that stress MORE times, cause you know it’s bound to happen again! Anywho, I had a fellow mom (a retired soldier of her kids’ toddler days) smile at me one day and she said, “I remember those days…don’t you worry, it does get easier”. I felt as though all the embarrassment that the world had cast on my shoulders was gone. I wasn’t the only mom who had had a kid that threw a fit in public…although it had seemed like it until then. From then on I declared I would do the right thing for other moms (especially the new ones) which was to reassure them as I was once reassured.
Nicole @ CraftyBeards
ha I felt the same way about pacifiers – I just lick it real quick and pop it back in 😉 There are lots of things we never imagined doing, until our kids actually get here!
Erin
Ha! Glad I’m not the only one!
Jennifer S.
I too didn’t think I would nurse past 18 months at the most – one of mine nursed to 28 months. And I would never have a baby sleep with me. Babies #5-8 have all slept with me to some degree with Babies #7-8 being in bed with me all the time. I wouldn’t change any of it and only wish I had done the same for my first four. 🙂
Erin
There are definitely things like that (the sleeping especially) I wish I had done with my first that I have done with my 2nd and 3rd.
Debbie
Love this! I work with teens and I don’t know how many times I hear them say things like “my child will NEVER act like that in public, or my kids will NEVER use pacifiers”. I just have to laugh and say “we’ll see”!
Erin
Wow! That’s funny to hear teens saying stuff like that, too!! Yep–they will be popping out the pacies one day, too! Ha!
Becky G
I’m not a mom yet but I try not to vow that I will never do something simply for the fact that I’ll probably do it just because I said I wouldn’t! 🙂 there are some things that my husband and I talk about now, before we have children, that we don’t want to do. I try to keep an open mind about the things you mentioned. Some of those I would prefer not to do like having children in my bed, but I know its probably going to happen. I guess I’m trying to say that not all of our “nevers” are inconceivable. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Btw, I get made fun of because I want to cloth diaper! Cant win can we?
Erin
Sounds like you already have a great perspective!
Amber C.
Once they see how cute cloth diapers are now, they’ll be jealous! 😉
Christi
You will find that having a little one snuggle up in bed with you is just the best. I felt like you at one time and now I look forward to those rare moments. Mine are 5 and 6 now and we still have those moments.
Rebekah
Breastfeed in “public”– I was sure that I’d be too shy to do it, but when your baby’s hungry, you gotta do what you gotta do. I’ve never flashed anyone, promise, though I may have scandalized my father-in-law 😀
Erin
LOL! I still remember the exact moment I breastfed in public for the first time!
Amber
I said I would never BF in public, but only if I had a good cover up. Low and behold I found myself walking around Target Shopping while BF’ing my youngest son with no cover up.
Elizabeth Ferguson
Oh wow I can relate to this post in so many ways! Before I had my son and realized how precious kids are, I wasn’t around little kids very much and honestly didn’t like them much. I know that sounds terrible but true. I would always say, “Look at that bratty kid cutting up in Walmart! My kid will not be a brat, I will spank it out of them!” Hahaha that’s what I get! Now I have the most hard-headed and stubborn kid. His favorite place to cut up is Walmart. I
Erin
Ha, Elizabeth! I hope it’s not mean…because I’m the same way!
Carolyn
My child misbehaved in a store one time, she was 3. I dropped everything, left the cart, grabbed her hand, marched out of the store. Once outside in the parking lot, we turned and looked at the store front, I said “Honey, you see that store right there? We will NEVER go in that store again.” And we left. From then on, If she started to misbehave, I would lean over close and very quietly say “Honey, do you like this store? would you like to come back to this store?” “Yes” and that was the end of it. Funny thing, every time we went by the store she couldn’t go in she’d say “Mommy, there is that store I can’t go in” and I’d say, “do you remember why you can’t go in there?” she’d say, “yes, because I was naughty.” It only took one time… Don’t threaten… don’t count… do. This may sound severe, but sorry, nothing drives me more nuts than a parent standing in a store with a naughty child (or 4), counting. What is the punishment when you get to the magical, mystical number? Do you follow through? Don’t threaten a punishment you aren’t willing to, or can’t, carry out. Don’t say you are going to leave when you get to 3, if you are not willing to leave, when you get to 3.
Carolyn
Whoa, sorry about that. That was not directed at Elizabeth, I have no idea if she stands in a store counting or has 4 kids 😉 Just got away with myself thinking of an incident I witnessed a few years ago, with one of my good friends no less :/
Claire @ Lemon Jelly Cake
I’m the opposite . . . I was determined that our daughter would co-sleep. Somewhere around 2 weeks I was so sleep-deprived from nursing and waking to hear all her little grunts and squeaks, so my husband suggested we try the crib and we’ve never looked back. She loves her crib (strange child, I know) and we all get to sleep! But I don’t expect that what worked for her will automatically work for this next one, so maybe we’ll end up co-sleeping after all. Whatever works! 🙂
Erin
It is interesting how things end up working out! I have noticed that each of my girls has been very different!
Diana
Not too strange–my little guy is the same way! On night 3, when I knew my husband had to go back to work the next day and we had both been up much of the last few nights (after being awake for over 24 hours of labor!), I determined that our son would learn to sleep in his crib the very next day. Lo and behold, he took right to it and slept so incredibly much better in his own room. Maybe I was waking him up! 🙂
Summer
My sister has 3 children and she is very very pro co-sleeping, but she said her second child was much happier sleeping in his own space – which in his case, was a pack and play right by her bed. I haven’t had a baby like that yet! Maybe they next one 😉 As far as doing things I said I wouldn’t, all I remember thinking was that I didn’t want to be like my mom, but now that I have kids, I admire her for all she did and call her whenever I have a problem!
Rebekah
Same thing happened to us. At three weeks, we put our daughter in the crib and everybody slept much better!
Ashley
I said I would never show off pictures of my kids without being directly asked. But I have. Sometimes they’re just too cute not to share! I try to do this as little as possible! But sometimes I can’t help myself.
Sandy
This made me smile! I have 4 and nursed all for more than a year, they all used a nuk and we did cloth (and later disposable) diapers. I don’t remember saying I’d never do any of those things. I may have said they wouldn’t be in bed with me . . . but it’s hard to remember for all the lack of sleep. #4 has been in our bed probably more than the first 3 combined. When he climbs in, I just snuggle and go back to sleep. Too tired to do anything else! And they grow up so fast. Now I do remember thinking I wouldn’t let my kids behave certain ways. HA! My first is very strong-willed. God has a sense of humor. 🙂 I also wondered at those moms who would be at the store with 3 or 4 kids in tow that all seemed to have lunch on their clothes/face, messy hair, etc. Fast forward 10 years. I tell the kids to get in the van as we have to make a quick trip to the store. As I look in the rear-view mirror I ask, “Hey! Didn’t anyone wash their faces or comb their hair this morning???” Yep, I am THAT mom!! 😉
Mandy
Ha! I’m with you Sandy. I would wonder how people took kids with dirty faces and messed hair out in public LOL. I still try my best to look clean and presentable, but many times have had to try wiping faces with wipes…that is IF I’ve noticed ! Or go somewhere and a kid doesn’t have shoes on because they get in the van themselves.
Elizabeth
I do remember saying that I’d NEVER EVER EVER use cloth diapers…and with our younger daughter we used cloth…and LOVED it! Most of my other “I’ll never’s” were about me (I was 20 when my hubby and I had our older daughter and very VERRRRY selfish). Things like: “I’ll never go a day without at least putting on mascara and lipgloss”, “I’ll never be the mom who wears pj’s/sweats with my hair in a messy bun all day”, etc. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I learned at a young age never to say “I’ll never” when it comes to kids and parenting 🙂
Becky
i tried really hard not to say i’d “never” do something. because i know things change. 🙂
April Yates
Nurse in public. With my first I was super selfconscious about nursing in public (I’d stay in the car instead of going into McD). By #3 as long as I use a cover up baby’s gotta eat no matter where.
Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
Yep, yep, and yep.
Shared on FB just now.
Joy Barry
I remember going to my roommate’s married sister’s house when I was single, and her living room floor was always covered with toys. I thought that was so weird and said I would never have toys all over my living room. Ha! I wish you could see my living room now.
Sarah P
Personally, i’d love to be able to breast feed until my girl is a year or so. She’s two weeks and we’re having breast issues so pumping and supplements it is. I have c loth diapers and should be using them more- thanks for the nudge!
Becky L.
Sarah, My first daughter was so attached to breasfeeding I often felt I had a growth on my boob, but I enjoyed it so much. I fully intended to breastfeed my second, but she never really caught on to the whole process, no matter how I tried. I think she was a little lazy, and didn’t start taking much nutrition until I put a really big hole in a nipple of a bottle. I tried everything to get her to nurse and went through the whole pumping ordeal, but when she continued to not gain weight, I was forced to go to the bottle all the time. Please don’t let yourself feel that you are lacking in any way. Sadly, La Leche made me feel that way. If I hadn’t successfuly nursed my first, I think my raging post-pregnancy hormones combined with La Leche’s tongue clucking might have thrown me into a depression. I wish you the best of luck with the nursing issues, but regardless of what happens, hold that little one close and cherish your time with your baby.
Haley
Thank you for this! The same thing happened with my mom when she couldn’t nurse me! (inverted nipples, in 1989). La Leche League made her feel like absolute crap about herself; my dad bought a can of formula and wouldn’t let her go back to LLL! People make LLL out to be some sort of god-send to nursing mothers; personally they sound super judgmental, and I would never use them or recommend them to someone.
Dawn
It’s not just them. (Honestly, I don’t even know who they are lol)
I’ve always had a suspicion that I wouldn’t be able to bf, so when I went into the hospital and they asked bf or formula, my response was “bf if I am physically able.”
My son was born hungry, latched for maybe a second and was off the boob before they took him. For the next 24 hours, they tried to force something that just wasn’t working. My own son began disliking me in just a few hours. We were both stressed out, and they refused to bring me a bottle. He cried constantly as they insisted he wasn’t really hungry and didn’t need to eat for the first 24 hours. Once 3pm came around, I snapped at them. They gave me a bottle with a disgusted look on their face.
I even tried pumping. He wanted none of it. He also couldn’t use those bottles that are supposed to be “like a boob”. I dried up painlessly within weeks.
Because of the hospital, what should have been a bonding experience with my son turned into the start of a year long ppd. He did not like me much, and I felt disconnected. He didn’t hate me or anything, but he liked anyone but me.
Now he’s a mommy’s boy at age 4 🙂
whitney
I loved this! I always said NO WAY is my child sleeping in my bed! But now we are huge co-sleepers! She’s just moved herself into a small bed by our bed, and I’m sure one day she’ll move on into her room. But until then, I love to lay by her as she falls asleep. 🙂
Rebekah
I am not a mom yet so I have no stories telling the exact moment I had to eat my words, but I do babysit. People tell me it is nowhere near the same thing, and to an extent I agree with them. It is the same in the essence that it is (sometimes) a full ten hours three days a week over the past four years with three children that I have watched grow up.
I really do not tolerate whining. And not just the “But mmmooommmm….” bit that they do, but the crying and speaking through their nose with this….”aaaaannnnnnnnn IIII wwwaaaannnnnn iiitttt nnneeeeeeoooowwwww.” stuff…I couldnt get on to those kids the way I would my own, but I still refused to deal with that whine. So here’s to hoping I stick to that with my own. Sitting a whiny two year old in a chair to cry it out and ask nicely for a second cookie actually worked pretty well.
The second thing I said was that I will not allow my kids to be raised by the TV. It is an easy (and sometimes blissfully needed) escape but it did not serve my husband well growing up at all. I have had many people scoff and say “they’re just kids. let them watch cartoons all day. You’ll get things done!” I often laugh with them and stay silent….but I want my kids to be creative…to think for themselves and not have a TV think for them.
The third is that I will be a mom to stick to rules. My sister and I were lazy as lazy gets. We were given chores but my parents didn’t know how to follow through. I started to realize that pattern with the eldest child I watch and I decided to change my method. I would ask her to clean her room and when she tried to get out of it, I stood my ground. She begged, asked nicely, batted her eyes, negotiated, and then cried her eyes out when I told her I was not changing my mind. She eventually did it. And after talking with her about obedience, she seemed to calm down a little. The best part is that she never called me a mean babysitter to her mom.
So I know I have many things that I say now and will eat later but I sincerely hope and pray that I can stick to the above. I want my kids to know who they are…and have a sense of purpose in their lives. I did not have that and I do not want that life for them.
Samantha
I’m a first time mommy to a 4 month old baby boy. I was going to be a breastfeeding, all natural fulltime working mommy. Well, after several long disappointing weeks I had to accept that I just couldn’t produce. So here I am formula feeding as well as using disposable diapers & store bought wipes! I wish I could do things differently but I’d like to also enjoy family time when I’m not working. I will be making sure that I make his food at home & that he is not raised in front of the tv though! I didn’t watch tv much as a child & I couldn’t be more thankful for that!
Luana
The only things I vowed to never do was put my kids down (like tell the they’re stupid) and use a passifier. I raised 4 kids without doing either.
Grace
I will never take my kids to the movies…now, it’s our family tradition, “$5 Tuesday! We all look forward to it and critic the movies and share our thoughts afterwards…
I will never feed my kids certain foods….well, I ate my words because my three boys humbled me and taught me patience…I give them choices and I am so impressed how at their little mind articulate their reasons for their own food choices (my middle, who’s only four is a total vegan and he won’t eat anything meat or dairy even when his brothers tried to convince him, while my oldest is vegetarian but eats fish sometimes)….
I won’t let them play video games or watch tv (now, it’s a great learning tool and saves me quiet times….with three boys it’s always loud in our household).
Chris
Everyone is so different and I enjoyed being able to see things from other mothers point of view. Here’s my take.
1. After 3 kids I have never changed a diaper (of my own kids) after they were 2.
2. Never had a problem with cloth diapers thankfully we use them and love them.
3. It’s for some, not for me – breastfeeding was a nightmare 2 out of 3 times, the third we made it to 6 months and I count myself lucky on that.
4. Ya my kids have their own bed and room and that’s a good thing. We had snuggle time for the first few months but then they need to be in their own room. But to each their own that’s just me. I love snuggling with my babies, but when it comes to sleep I need to sleep.
5. lol that was funny, I never had a problem with germs or dirt, my husband would run to wash it every time, then he got tired and just gave it to me, and look of disgust as I gave it back to the kid (it was still clean 5 second rule right?) lol
Leslie
I always said that I would never use the tv as a babysitter. I found out that I could get a lot done in the half hour Barney was on
Ma.kristina Nieveras
I dont really imagine my self to have my third baby because we only planned for two and breastfeeding her for almost a year. Then now I dont know how to stop her,..I remember how I stopped my two girls breastfeed before,,,I just gave them milk then the other day they asking me for a milk….
KJ
I’m not a mom yet (due in October!), but I’m convinced that the fact that my own mom wasn’t a nut about sanitizing my pacifier has actually made me a healthier person! I believe there is a lot of truth in the whole “hygiene hypothesis” of disease and that a lot of kids don’t get exposure to enough “good clean dirt” (as my mom used to call it) these days. When I used to drop my pacifier, my mom would either pop it back in my mouth, or lick it off herself first and then put it back in my mouth! Never hurt me and I rarely got sick as a child or now as an adult. Obviously, I can’t prove causation here, but there was just some study floating around a few months ago about exactly this and said that, basically, this was a beneficial practice.
Dina
With your first child you cut up their food into tiny pieces, place them on a cutest baby plate, cover baby in a beautiful bib, use only the best baby food, and feed them delicately with a spoon.
With your second child you rip adult food into chunks with your fingers, pitch them directly on the high chair tray, throw a dish towel around baby, and give them a fork hoping they will figure it out.
With your third baby you throw a Happy meal burger blindly into the back seat, hoping the baby can reach it while you check the soccer schedule, yell at the other two for fighting, and remember it’s your day to bring snacks for the team.
Gwen
hhahaha So true. Thank you for the good laugh. I’ve already gotten to step 3 and my third child hasn’t been born yet. On the list of “I nevers”, I said I would never feed my kids fast food….that didn’t last.
S.Myli
To be honest the only thing I can think of is let someone else calm my baby when they are screaming their bloody heads off. My mom has definitely saved my sanity several times.
Sallieanne
My favorite is the prego mommies who WILL NOT be using a passie PERIOD! Even my child who was not a passie addict was given a passie many times in hopes of getting a little quiet.
Due to the fact that my 2 older children were fantastic eaters, I many times said I would NEVER deal w a picky eater. You know if they get hungry enough THEY WILL EAT WHAT YOU GIVE THEM. Well 12 years after my first child I had my third child WHO EATS NOTHING! Not even mashed potatoes! Many times he has been given pediasure just to make sure he has a few nutrients in him that he’s not getting from chick fila chicken nuggets (besides zaxbys the only one he wil eat) and saltines. Pizza is iffy if the sauce is not the right consistency. Most recently I am over the moon that at 7 he is trying sausage gravy over a biscuit.
Courtney
Both of my children used a pacifier until they got a couple teeth, then they refused to take it anymore. My daughter who is 8 is the pickiest eater ever! About 80% of the meals I make she doesn’t like. Sometimes I will serve it to her anyways and at least make her try it. Other days I will let her eat something else. If she sees a speck of green in her meal she refuses to eat it. It’s funny you mention biscuits and gravy because just the other day my daughter said she wanted to try the gravy on her biscuits this time. Normally she eats her biscuits plain or with pb and jelly. Shortly after I gave her the biscuits and gravy she said what’s this tiny red thing? It was seasoning in the sausage.
Tiffany DelGrosso
I said I would never have a baby after age 30….oops! Just delivered our 5th 2 weeks before my 32nd bday! God’s plan, not mine!
Danielle
I remember saying I would never let my kids sleep in my bed and all 3 have and #3 who is now 4 still gets in my bed EVERY night! I also said I would never drive a mini van and I am now on mini van # 2 and I can’t imagine life without it. How in the world would I fit anything in a car?!
Stephenie
I would never let my kids watch tv under the age of 3 and then it would be no more than 30 minutes a day until school age! Ha!
Never let them leave the house looking like they just got out of bed. **my 9 yr old frequently goes straight from her bed to the school bus with a granola bar in hand and don’t get me started on my 7 yr old!
Never let them sleep in my bed! * this worked until #3 and I don’t know if it’s age or what but I just need sleep and that means he is in my bed!
Plus most of yours here!
Celia
When I was pregnant with my first baby I always said I would never let them be dirty ,(i.e. Food on face, dirty hands and feet, or not in nice clothes). I would only put Jammie’s on them for sleeping, not during the day, and most defiantly not going out and about with them. This all came to a screeching halt when I realized it was costing me precious sleeping minutes to make sure the nicest clothes were always clean and washed. Not to mention when your baby goes through multiple outfits a day! Honestly to keep him in adorable little outfits all day I would have to have a washer and drier attached to me where ever I went. As for his dirty little face… This kid hasn’t hit his mouth yet feeding himself… And he is now 8! Not only that I can’t keep him out of the dirt and mud… I just love giving smiles to those stares of accusation in the store or passings on the sidewalk.
Emily
I would never use a pacifier without sanitizing it. Ah…yes!
My one year old dropped her pacifier on the floor the other day and my friend asked: Do you want me to wash it off?
In my head I was laughing. Oh no. I’m WAY past washing pacifiers. 🙂
Erin
LOL Glad it’s not just me!
Meghanne
Oh, this is so funny, I see myself in all of it! I kept up the clean, matching clothes look until our fifth was born. She was having none of it, bucked me every way I turned on hairbows, etc., wanted work boots and jeans whole pushing her baby stroller! But honestly, I’ve eaten a lot more words about teenagers than I did babies and toddlers. For some reason, I thought my teens wouldn’t act like other teens I saw… What was I thinking?? I’ve eaten every word I’ve ever thought about someone else’s teen.
Andrea
I used to say that I would never go to McDonald’s after I had kids. HA! What a farce!
I would never wait until it was my turn in line to ask my kid what they wanted. Totally done it, and had the argument with them while others waited.
My kids were going to eat what they were given, I wasn’t going to make them something special in addition to what I was already making. Gah!! I have though! If my son doesn’t eat dinner I will get up and cut cucumber slices for him, or give him some tomatoes.
I would never clean up puke. HAHAHAHAHA! My kids showed me! One of the biggest milestones in parenting is when your kid finally makes it to the toilet to be sick. (A second big milestone is when they blow their own nose and a third one is when they can wipe their own butt.)
I enjoyed this article. Now I’m going to go find the rest.
Sharon
My children were never going to have loud, melt downs in public! I had the thought, mommy control your children. ……yay right! I have eatten that thought. I guess I forgot they have their own little will and emotions.
Follow.Me at www.sprinklesofpeace.WordPress.com
Brenda
My kid won’t eat/drink outside of the kitchen and TV is only for special occasions.
Shall I send a picture of him lounging with his sippy cup while watching Thomas? I DO only allow water outside of the kitchen – so I still have some dignity left!
Whitney
I’ve always said I would never slap my kids, never hit them with whatever was within arm’s reach at the time, never lecture them for an hour or more, never discipline with humiliation, and never scream,”What is WRONG with you?!” at them since i grew up convinced there was something wrong with me since my mom said it. So far, I’ve only said that once, and then in jest, and the others I’ve never done. And my eldest is 14….. So far, so good!
Erin
I was going to breastfeed for at least a year, but my oldest was born with a full cleft palate and couldn’t nurse or even drink from a normal bottle. I was very grateful to get to nurse my second for 21 precious months.
I was never going to sleep-train my kids. When my oldest was 16 months old and I was six months pregnant and realized I was looking at several years without a full night’s sleep, we turned to Dr. Ferber. It was quick and easy and effective, and all of us were happier, including her. So, kid number 2, I planned to Ferberize as soon as possible. Started at four months, but the kid didn’t sleep through the night consistently until he was 2.
Planned to never put my babies to sleep on their tummies. Managed that with the first, but the second woke up – I kid you not – every ten minutes when sleeping on his back. Finally one night I turned him over and both of us slept a blissful few hours. It was either that or both of us were literally going to die from lack of sleep.
Didn’t intend to nurse uncovered in public. I live in Africa now. It’s 100 degrees and everyone around me is doing it. So now I’m liberated.
Dawn
Most of my “nevers” I really stuck by. The only one I can think of that I bent the rules on a little was cosleeping. I had no intentions of having a baby in my bed for safety reasons. My hubby is a big guy who rolls over a lot, and I do too, and I sleep with my two cats. My bed wasn’t big enough for an added person.
We tried the bassinet thing, but he slept in spurts and I wanted him near me during the day. So we were constantly moving it back and forth between rooms. After a few days of him sleeping in the bassinet in the living room, we finally moved him to the crib.
But now we take naps together. He’s 4 and still needs a nap, but he will get up if I’m not watching him. Even if he’s exhausted. So I sleep with him.
Debra C
I never said any of those things. Maybe because I was the oldest of 5 kids, several of whom were younger enough that I knew things like sanitizing pacifiers were pipe dreams. Of course, I also didn’t want to have kids, so most of my parenting ideas weren’t things I’d never do. They were, “If I ever end up with kids, I will. . . ” I seem to have stuck with those. God always seems to change my mind about things I think will never happen (like those kids I now love).
Jenni
We said we would NEVER let our kids “control” us. We would set the schedule and they would have to deal with it. So not true!! Our son has been the most unpredictable and unscheduled little human I have ever met. We are so much happier when we all just go with the flow. And I’ve learned a lot about letting go of control and finding peace in the present moment!
Leslie Johnson
I swore My daughter wouldn’t nurse passed her first birthday, but she’s almost 13 months and shows no signs of wanting to wean at all. I also do the “dirty” pacie. I used to pick up the pacie from the floor and sanitize it or get a clean one before giving it back. Now, I just pick it up and give it to her, or, more likely, she picks it up herself and pops it back into her mouth. We also co-slept off and on til she was 6 months. She had a bassinet in our room as well til 6 months. Then we finally got her crib and she moved into her own room. She sleeps in there most of the time, but there are nights she starts off in our bed.
Hannah Beth Reid
Agreed, new mothers cringe, but I know I did too at one point!
I said I wouldn’t kiss my children’s boo boos because that doesn’t actually help anything get better, but now I do it all the time because it makes the child feel better, which is ultimately my goal.