Does your child have an impairment or disability? This is a heartfelt letter to the mama whose baby wasn’t born “healthy”!
This post is part of the Dear Mom Letters series.
Dear Mom Whose Baby Wasn’t Born Healthy,
First of all, I do not know how you feel. My three children were all born “healthy.” We never spent time in the NICU, and I brought them home two days after birth.
Mamas like me can not even fathom what you have been through. Like us, you had the baby showers. You held the hope…and then saw it dashed when you heard the prognosis.
You may have even had a doctor recommend that you have an abortion…but you bravely carried your baby to term anyway, facing your fears of what your postpartum period would bring–and counting the costs of raising a child with an impairment.
While the rest of us may have struggled through breastfeeding or even dealt with postpartum depression, you may have encountered those things while sleeping on hospital waiting room couches, pumping around-the-clock for your little baby who needed your nourishment but hadn’t even developed the sucking reflex–or waiting tables at night just to pay all the medical bills.
Our own “trials” of early motherhood pale in comparison to yours.
Dear Mama Whose Baby Wasn’t Born Healthy,
You are strong.
When other people may stare at what they deem a deformity in your child, your heart fills with love at his or her beauty. And your heart shatters at the thought that one day this child of yours will know he or she is “different.”
I do not know, Mama. I just do not know why you are having to go through this. You may ask God “why?” and I ask Him that for you.
Moms like you can teach moms like me, though. Help us. Help us learn how to teach our “normal” children that your children are to be respected, are to be loved, are to be treated just like they would want to be treated.
One of the phrases I hated the most yet heard so often while pregnant was this: “It doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl–as long as it’s healthy.”
But what if it’s NOT healthy? What if it’s NOT?! I always wanted to counter back.
Did that signify less blessings? Did that mean we would want to send the baby back?
Women in general: Can we just take that little phrase out of our vocabulary and recognize that children are a blessing no matter what?
I read the other day of a dad who was heartbroken when he learned his daughter was to be born with Down Syndrome. He is brutally honest: He even wanted his wife to abort.
But something happened when his little girl was born. She changed his life.
Now her daddy–who is head-over-heels in love with his baby girl, is a champion for other children like her.
Watch his story and be encouraged. It’s worth a few minutes of your time.
Do you have any children who were not born “healthy”? What is the best way for others to minister to you? How can we teach “normal” children to best accept those who are “not healthy”?