Guest post by Keelie of Love Hope Adventure
As humans, building intimate relationships is in the very fabric of our beings. We long for closeness and deep rooted connections with the special people in our lives. When it comes to our marriage, we have an even greater need to delve into the soul, mind, and body of our lover.
Intimacy in marriage does not consist of just one thing. It is a combination of emotional connection and physical affection that brings you closer to one another.
Great communication leads to emotional connection. In turn, the emotional connection you feel toward your spouse brings out the natural desire to show physical affection.
Through non-sexual affection, physical intimacy increases. This cycle of love continually builds upon itself as the couple grows in a closer relationship. But over time, the cycle can break and those natural desires fade.
Typical Interactions Between a Married Couple
Do you remember your dating days when you and your sweetheart hung on each other’s every word? You wanted to know anything and everything about who they were. Over the course of time the newness wears off; meaningful conversations become less intentional and more accidental.
Image by miamiamia
When our lives get busy, we fall into the habit of only doing drive-by chats. Your spouse texts you to pick up something from the store. You text to ask what should be done about dinner. When you see each other at home, the quick conversations continue.
As kids flurry around, you catch up from the day at work or what has to get done before you crash on the couch. Is this enough? Or is there a way to take it further and build a closer relationship?
Does it Matter What You Talk About?
Most married couples spend some amount of time in a day talking. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are engaging in conversation that will bring them into closer emotional intimacy. To truly build a deeper relationship, you need to have intentional conversations that reach the heart.
Growing closer to your spouse requires you to have conversations that are more than a recap of the day or things that have to be done. When you commit to having purposeful interactions, it will affect your emotional connection. Any time you feel emotionally connected to your spouse, your physical desire grows for them.
Image by chidsey
How Does Communication Lead to Greater Physical Intimacy?
Have you ever looked over at your spouse with love in your heart and all you wanted to do was kiss them? Often, this happens after you have felt an emotional connection. This connection is a result of your intentional communication.
Expressing yourself through physical means is a natural product of feeling emotionally close to someone. Physical intimacy is more than intercourse. It is an all-day love affair that takes place between two people that have connected on a mental and physical level.
Sometimes we get a bit lazy in our marriage when it comes to showing our spouses that we love them through non-sexual physical affection. The more hand holding, snuggling, kissing, and hugging that goes on, the more physical intimacy you will experience.
For a fun, non-threatening way to increase intimacy as a couple, check out Sheila Wray Gregoire’s eBook 31 Days to Great Sex.
Practical Ways You Can Boost Your Communication
Intimacy in marriage increases when you take the time to intentionally engage one another. It is important for you to take an active approach as opposed to a passive approach to building your marriage relationship. By making deep communication a priority, you will boost your intimacy.
There are a number of ways you can increase communication with your partner. Not all of these ideas will work for you. The thing to remember is that you have to be intentional with what you do.
Here are some things you can try:
- Spend time together where you both put down your phones.
- Have an at-home date night where you focus on each other.
- Use creative conversation starters to talk about something other than your day.
- Really listen to your spouse when they are talking and work on reading their non-verbal cues.
- Do a project that requires you to work together to accomplish it.
- Look in your spouse’s eyes while you talk.
- Find a way to communicate to your spouse through an action.
- Have conversations when your children go to bed so that you can talk without interruption.
Learning more about your partner and growing closer together as a couple is what makes marriage exciting. The connection you share is what sets your relationship apart from all others.
What have you found to be the best way to increase communication with your spouse?
Keelie is a wife, a mom, a creator, and a follower of Christ. She spends her days sipping coffee and blogging about the world around her. You can follower her at Love Hope Adventure where she explores the marriage relationship and making a house a home. When she isn’t writing her days away, you can find her in the kitchen, craft room, spending time with family or volunteering at church.