Have you ever felt like your natural remedy failed? You’re not alone!
This post is part of the Dear Mom Letters series.
Dear Mom Whose Natural Remedy Failed,
I hear it in your voice. I see it in your eyes.
It’s not the natural remedy you are blaming. It is you.
Your child has eczema or chronic ear infections or food allergies.
You’ve listened to the advice of the ladies in your natural mothering circles, you’ve read and implemented tips from bloggers, and you’ve tried just about every elimination diet on the planet.
Still, your baby’s skin is itchy, or the ears won’t clear, or he continues with stomach pain.
You feel like you’ve tried it all, and you’re simply tired.
To top it off, you’re carrying around a heavy burden of guilt. You blame yourself for not trying hard enough.
Perhaps you ate a poor diet during pregnancy (you wonder if you had known about good nutrition then, maybe your baby would be OK now).
Perhaps you aren’t feeding your family well enough–since you’ve had to succumb to using less-than-ideal ingredients when the grocery money ran out.
Maybe you haven’t removed enough toxins from your home. Maybe it’s the cleaning supplies or the toiletries. If only you had the energy to make everything 100 percent homemade.
Mama, stop the blame game.
You’ve got to let go of the guilt.
Do I use natural remedies? You better believe they are my first line of defense.
Essential oils, herbs–the whole gamut–sit in my natural medicine cabinet.
But, sometimes, you can try it all and still have to resort to a conventional medication, like an antibiotic for a lingering infection that could quickly turn serious if you don’t pull out the big guns.
I’ve been in far too many Facebook groups and observed in-person conversations where a mama was scared to say that her natural remedy had “failed” her, and she had to give her child medicine.
This can happen among the best of friends.
Mamas, this should not be.
Yes, I believe in using natural remedies, but there is a reason we have conventional medications as well. Praise God we have both!
The bottom line, Mama? We live in a fallen world. Our world is full of sickness and disease.
And no natural remedy is ever going to trump God’s sovereignty.
So stop beating yourself up for not trying hard enough. (And stop beating up your friends whose natural remedy didn’t work!)
When we think we have the keys to solving every ailment–whether it be through herbs or essential oils or the latest supplement on the market–we are taking the power off of God and putting it on ourselves.
Really, we are not in control of anything.
So Mama, just do the very best you can, and know that, ultimately, God is over all.
Tiffany
Thank you. My nemesis is cavities! 3 of the kids had cleaning appts yesterday. 6 cavities among them. Every time there are new cavities and I get so discouraged! It’s so tiring. Thank you for reminding me I’m doing the best I can with the resources I’ve been given.
Erin
I’m so sorry about the cavities (my middle got one when she was 3–and I’ve never even had one, so I was so disappointed!). Keep on keepin’ on, Mama, and don’t let it get you down!!
Angela
great post! I’ve been at that place a few times. In the end, some conditions are congenital requiring the western medical system. My youngest has suffered from chronic ear infections, throat infections. We found out this year that she has enlarged adnoids and basically can’t breath through her nose. She was simply born that way. We were told that if we didn’t proceed with surgery, we would most likely be spending thousands on dental surgery to fix her teeth, and she would have mild facial deformities. All that from not being able to breath through her nose! So, we know it’s not our fault or anything we did or didn’t do. Sometimes surgery is the answer and there is nothing wrong with that. We have peace about what needs to be done and that’s enough for us.
Relieved Mom
thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! Today I needed to read this. My child has been off and on with fever and I finally had no choice but give convential medication to get him over it. You have given me the courage to say sometimes it’s okay.
Chris Klongpayabal
Great article
steph
Thank you, my kids are teenagers but really I’ve tried conventional meds and got discouraged at side effects, so I resorted to complete holistic organic and diet change approach and still no healing and it hit me that I’m trusting myself and not God, it may be in His perfect will for me to go through what I am and not be completely healed and I was having a hard time accepting my circustances, its very difficult to live in daily pain and not be able to make it just go away forever thanks for the post I knew it but hearing (reading) it on a post was what I needed today……God Bless
Jill York
Last fall, one of my daughters had a severe asthma attack that was triggered by the Rhinovirus. She had to be airlifted to Children’s Hospital. I did feel like a terrible mom that she got to that point because I can normally keep illnesses under control, but the illness got bad extremely fast and I got her help when I realize she needed it! Sometimes we need conventional help and I’m so thankful for it when it’s needed! They literally had to save her life! It also really bothers me that she has asthma in the first place, but I’m thankfully able to keep her off medication except for emergencies. I definitely relate to mom guilt because we want the absolute best for our precious ones!
Amber
What has helped me loose the guilt of using conventional medicine when natural remedies don’t work is reminding myself that the problem with conventional medicine is it’s OVER-use, so using it once in a while isn’t the problem. If most people used natural remedies for most ailments and only used conventional medicine when it is really needed, we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in with antibiotic resistance, etc…the goal (at least my goal) isn’t to wipe out conventional medicine, it’s to find a balance and use it only when absolutely necessary.
Anna @ Feminine Adventures
Amen, amen, amen! Such a great article Erin.
Natural remedies are my first line of defense. I’ve had better success with a simple vinegar concoction for an ear ache than two different rounds of antibiotics, for example. But I too have been discouraged when a remedy that I thought would be perfect fell utterly flat or the universal advice of practically everyone turned out to not work for me.
Like you said, we’re not God. Our lives and health are in His hands and it’s far too easy to approach our health with a feeling of pride, at least I know it is for me!
Olivia
Thanks so much for posting this. I think it is hard to give up on a natural solution, especially when it has worked for so many other people. You feel like you’re the only one doing something wrong.
Emma
Thanks for posting Erin. Although using a natural remedy is so tempting, traditional medicine definitely has its time and place.
Charlotte
Great post Erin.
I totally agree with what you said about It’s actually good that we have both natural remedies as well as conventional medications.
I see no reason to rely on one or the other when we can have the best of both worlds and choose which one we find works best.
Jamal Mustapha
Thank you for this amazing post, iv’e found your article very interesting.
Meagan Lawry
Although this was written a while ago, I needed the reminder. My precious 9 month old was diagnosed with brain cancer, and v we spent the better part of a year in conventional treatment. I felt so torn… On the one hand, the chemo is almost worse than the disease, on the other, alternative, less invasive treatments haven’t been tested as thoroughly (especially on children). Not only did I have to work through the guilt bright on by the fact that after all my efforts to rid our home and bodies of toxins, my baby STILL developed cancer– but there was also strong guilt that the life saving poison was not the best option. Maybe I didn’t research enough, try hard enough, speak with the right people…. And yet I cane to the same conclusion: God is Sovereign. He made my son, and is using his little life as a testimony to His Glory. Today my son is cancer free, though we have a long road of monitoring ahead. He is well because of the Lord’s mercy, and we praise him for it.