On one of the last days of our Costa Rica trip this summer, we had one of the biggest scares of our life–our youngest daughter, who will turn 3 next week, almost choked on a quarter. My husband had to perform the heimlich maneuver on her. Thank God he knew how.
I know some people might call me a bad parent after reading this post.
Some might ask: Why in the world would you let your child play with coins?
Some might ask where in the world I was when she was putting coins in her mouth.
I posted a picture of the coins she had in her mouth that night on Instagram, but I didn’t tell the whole story. I was embarrassed. I was prideful.
Sharing this story is humbling. But it needs to be said because maybe it will help someone else.
Friends, the night my daughter almost choked, I wasn’t in the other room. I wasn’t even feet away. I was lying right beside her on the hotel bed. We were touching.
My four-year-old daughter was on the other side of her.
My husband was within arm’s reach as well, on his computer, on the next bed in a very small hotel room.
I was on my iPhone, scrolling through pictures on Facebook–pictures of our trip, the same pictures my husband was busy uploading.
I vaguely remember the sound of coins jingling together, but we had given our older two girls little change purses and some money to play with. (We will not be doing this again–not until their little sister is older, at least.)
It wasn’t until our 4-year-old frantically climbed over her sister and began yelling: “Get those coins out of your mouth! Get them out!” did we notice what was happening.
“Mommy!” our little girl shouted louder. “Sister swallowed the coins!”
Except, she hadn’t swallowed them. She coughed up two Costa Rican coins, the size of nickels.
But then she stopped coughing. She couldn’t talk. She wasn’t breathing. Her eyes filled with horror.
Our older two girls became frantic, and I screamed at my husband to do something. I knew he knew the heimlich because he had had to use it on a friend in college. I lived with that friend the year we were engaged.
According to her story, she was choking on a chicken nugget at a party, and my husband leaped over a papasan chair and saved her life.
My husband is cautious. I have a tendency to overreact (like the time I took our daughter into the ER for secondary drowning when it was really dehydration).
We both knew this was the real deal. When I was pregnant with her, we had taken a class on infant and child safety.
“Don’t perform the heimlich if they can still cough and talk,” I imprinted the instructor’s words on my brain. “If they stop, they are really choking.”
From then on out, if my girls seemed to be choking, I’ve always said: “Cough! Say ‘Mommy’!”
That night, I held her on the edge of the bed. “She is not coughing, Will!” I shouted. “Say ‘Mommy’! Say ‘Mommy’!”
Will bent her petite toddler frame over his hands now locked into a fist and began thrusting.
We prayed.
She threw up the quarter.
She was lethargic for about an hour after and started a raspy cough for the whole next week, but she was fine.
But she might not have been.
It all happened in an instant.
I was there, but I wasn’t there.
I was there, physically, but my mind was in a different place.
I don’t write this post to condemn any mom over iPhone use. Rather, I write it with a humbled heart because how many other times have my children needed me for whatever reason, and my mind was elsewhere?
I don’t condemn the use of technology by any means, but at times it does rob us of our focus that should be directed toward something more important. I know it does for me, at least.
Two things:
1. Please be cautious with small objects.
I’m the mom who still cuts up grapes and hot dogs into tiny pieces for my 3-year-old. But, somehow, she grabbed the coins from her sister while I was otherwise engaged.
2. Please check out the heimlich maneuver if you haven’t already.
Since telling this story to several friends, we’ve learned of others who have had to use it. Learn to use it with an infant and a child (it’s different for children under 1). It could save a life.
Nicole
Wow, how scary! Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. We all have. moments in mommy hood that we regret. My husband once gave our 6 month old son a grape, he had been eating things like banana and cooked carrots for a while so I guess he thought his three little teeth could handle a grape. He choked and I swung him upside down on my knee and got it out. So so scary. Glad your little angel is ok. She is so stinking cute. ♡♡♡
Erin
Thank you so much, Nicole! Grapes can be so scary! I am so glad your little one is ok too!!
Jen
I don’t post…ever…but wanted you to know you aren’t alone on this one. When my daughter was 2, she found a penny in the door of the car & put it in her mouth. I had gotten the kids in the car & then remembered something I forgot inside. I was only inside for a minute or so, but when I came back out, she was choking…& I didn’t even know what she had in her mouth! I thankfully got it out of her & was so very grateful that I was there in time. She’s 8 now, and she actually still remembers the whole thing vividly. So do I..it was terrifying!
I think it’s the humbling thing about parenting…you never know what lies ahead & it’s a great reminder to me that I’m not in control. Such great advice about distraction by phones though…as you say, how many times do our kids need us when we are distracted by technology?
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story, Jen! This whole incident is making more vigilant about keeping coins out of reach, if possible! I am so glad your daughter is OK! I am hoping ours remembers this as well, as she still likes to put things in her mouth!
Mommaofmany
I had a nine-month walker. She was about 11 months old, when playing one day in the other room with her older sisters, while I was doing some “work” on the computer. I don’t remember what the work was, but I know it wasn’t really important enough to be occupied while the baby was up. She walked toward me and I noticed that she was a funny color. She was choking, but not panicking yet. I grabbed her and did back blows. After two sets of three blows, she vomited a little. After one more set of blows, she vomited a lot, including the quarter machine ring she had been choking on. I set her down and she toddled off happy, and I started trembling. I praise the Lord that she walked to me, rather than into another room. It would have been deadly. She was so blue while I was giving her blows….she pinked right up, though, once it was out. Scary.
Erin
That is so scary! Thank you for sharing your story, and I am so glad your daughter is OK too!!
Sandy Quinn
Thank you for sharing this story! I have become so desensitized to my big kids having things in their mouths. My 8-year-old daughter in particular still puts toys in her mouth. Your story reminds me that chocking is a real possibility!
So glad to hear your sweet girl is well. We all know how much you love your children! God was watching over your whole family that day! And now big sis has an amazing story to share. And a good excuse to be bossy, “I saved your LIFE!” LOL!
Mom of 4
That is so very scary.
Thank you for being so real with us -and sharing.
My now 16 yr old son got a hold of a penny when he was one that his sisters had been playing with(very similar story). Luckily he choked but it was turned enough he could breathe.
I didn’t know what he had swallowed because I took two seconds to run his 3 year sister upstairs to her bed. He kept waking her up. I took him to the Ped & had to take an ambulance to the nearest children’s hospital. It was so scary. They did surgery to get it out. That’s not the scariest. The scariest is in our county they won’t do a trach even if the child is dying(in the ambulance). I am so blessed he was okay?and I am. So happy your daughters okay and that big sis noticed. We all have those mommy moments. It’s okay. We learn from. Them. I banned all coins after that for years.
Chrissy
Thank you for sharing this! I confess I find myself (too often) being there without being there for my littles. This is a great reminder to be present. I also really appreciate the humbling honesty!
Keri
We had company over for dinner and I was in the kitchen making the salad. I heard this tiny little noise come from the bathroom down the hallway. I got there just in time to catch my 8 year old son as he was about to hit the ground from choking. He was turning blue. I did the same thing, the Heimlich and it worked. He was actually throwing up and was choking on his own throw up. We discovered he’s allergic To Dr.Thunder. The generic version of Dr.Pepper. He also almost drowned at 5. He’s 17 now !! Phew!!!
He is the youngest of six!
Whitney
Wow! I am so glad your little one is okay. It’s a blessing that you all knew how to handle the situation! Thank you so much for sharing this. I don’t believe for one second that your a bad mom. I think everyone is guilty of zoning out and looking at their phones. Especially with all the technology that is present in our lives these days.
Sarah Mueller
How absolutely scary! I’m so glad she’s ok. But I really think you shouldn’t blame yourself and your phone for this accident. No parent can be present 100% of the time and accidents happen in the blink of an eye. There are 1000 ways a parent can be distracted – washing dishes, reading a book, helping another child, working. None of it needs to be fodder for guilt. God protected her that day and that’s the important thing. Go in grace!
Charlene
Absolutely! I understand her desire to not be distracted and it’s a good goal,mbut we can’t lay all the blame on technology. We cannot be 100% on, things will happen…kids choke, break bones, kids wander off.
RamonaQ
There is almost nothing worse than having your child hurt, and feeling as if it were all your fault.
I know you will beat yourself to a pulp for, oh, the next decade, at least. Try not to be too hard on yourself. These things happen. They are terrifying and awful, but… they happen. It does not mean you are a neglectful parent. You could have them on your lap, and never blink, and something would still, inevitably, happen.
Nikolia
So scary! I’m so glad your little on is ok. I was sitting next to my one-year-old this summer when she choked on something at lunch. Her grandpa did back blows and got it out. Scariest moment!
DianeM
Praise God for the blessing on your family! So glad everything turned out ok 🙂 You are SO brave for sharing this as I know there are a lot of internet haters out there, but your honesty may just help someone else. And, believe me, as a Mom of 2 grown kiddos (ages 24 & 18) there are still moments that I look back on & my stomach turns for what might’ve been. It happens, and it happens to ALL of us!
In Friendship,
DianeM
Sarah @ little bus on the prairie
That happened to me when one of my children was a baby, except it was in the bathtub and I was reading a book on the toilet right next to the tub. There but not there. It was terrifying and humbling. You’re not alone.
Kristen @ Smithspirations
Thank you for being so brave and transparent to share, Erin! Like many other ladies have said, this could have been *any* of us. It is a really good reminder to be more in tune with our homes and children. I’m very guilty of spacing into a screen or other activity, especially when I’m tired. I’m so glad your daughter was okay and that Will was there for the Heimlich.
Brit
I’m glad she’s ok! If anyone judges you for what happened, they’re either crazy or don’t have kids. Kids do silly things, regardless of how carefully you watch them. You guys are terrific parents! 🙂
Keelie Reason
Wow…that is so hard. I know that grapes are a huge problem for kids even that old. We never know what could happen next. My son started drowning in the pool and I was right next to him, just had my head turned the other way. It was so scary. I am so happy you guys were able to get it out of her throat.
Taylor @ Mama Java Crafts
Oh my goodness. I’m so glad she is okay! How providential that you and your husband knew the signs and what to do. Situations like that can happen any time, it’s not just a phone distraction. Please don’t blame yourself.
My 14 month old choked on a (what I thought) small piece of PBJ sandwich when she was about 11 months old. I was right there at the table supervising my kids during lunch. Heard a gag and suddenly her face was turning purple. I swiped her mouth, but not too far because I’ve heard that can actually lodge something further down, and started to panic. She couldn’t breathe or make any sounds. It was just her wide eyed, purple face. I don’t know the Heimlich but I picked her up facing away from me, tipped her forward, and gave her several forceful…I’m not sure what the proper term is, I was using the heel of my hand on her upper back…but a sort of thump? Whack? Anyway, it worked thank God, and the piece flew out of her mouth and onto the floor. I always cut up her food extra small since then. Too scary. And I was right there.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing! My boys (age 6 and 4) are learning to count money and earn a bit of an allowance so this reminds me to be extra vigilant with a crawling, cruising baby.
Rebecca C
My ten month old choked on a plum last week. It was terrifying. My parents were in the house too, but they were in the other room. I was taking a few steps, flipping her over my leg, and back slapping. Then I’d take a few more steps, and repeat the procedure. My mom is a doctor, so I was desperate to get to them, but I couldn’t speak. I was just so focused on getting her to breathe that I couldn’t yell or scream for help. Just slowly make my way to the room they were in. She threw it up about halfway there, thank God.
This same little managed to find a quarter under my husband’s desk when she was about 6 months old. It (and several other bits of change) must have fallen out of his pocket under there. I was just picking up her toys or something, and she crawls over looking very proud of herself. I smiled at her, and she gave this huge grin… With a quarter in her mouth. I managed to swipe it out, but that was the day we got serious about babyproofing the house. Still gives me the shakes to think about it.
Paige
Oh Erin,
Thank you so much for posting this. Now I don’t feel like the worst mom in the world. A similar situation happened to me when Natalie was three; she is now 6.. I was on the phone with a committee member and the call was not as quick as I’d hoped …and Natalie kept trying to get my attention. She was bored. She stood right beside me and fiddled with her shoe. Then she choked, could not talk….and started gasping. She pointed to her shoe with a missing metal 1/2 inch grommet and had pulled that off her sandal and swallowed it, all because I was there, but really not. Her stomach start to heave but no results. I called my pediatrician and they said get her to the ER immediately as it could become stuck in her esophagus, stomach or intestines. I called my husband and got us to the ER….but it was the children’s hospital and I had no idea where to park….so I parked in the doctors’ parking lot and ran inside. I probably should have called the ambulance, but we lived 2 blocks away and I just wanted to GET her there, as her breathing had improved by then. My husband arrived and after X-rays,etc. the grommet had passed thru the stomach into the intestines, so we just had to “watch” for it, if you know what I mean. I felt so badly that I, a MOPS leader and stay at home mom, had put my daughter’s welfare secondary to ” committee work”. It was a wakeup call that could have ended badly, but I am thankful God spared us. I am very assertive now with phone call boundaries after this close call. I’m just so thankful that your close call, though very scary, also ended up ok. We just need to give ourselves some grace and be thankful for the lesson learned.. the hard way…and for everyone’s safe passage through this terrifying experience! You are a great and loving mom, with an awesome quick thinking husband!
Sherrie Cain
My mother-in-law at the time , gave my then three year-old daughter a small peppermint lozenge. I had asked her not to. She choked. Her little face turned black. I was terrified, I knew nothing about the Heimlich maneuver but instinctively turned her upside down and gave her a “thump” on the back. The candy, thank God, flew out of her mouth. I can only thank God for “telling ” me to do that. How frightening that an instant could have ended her precious life!
Katie Rayburn
We had an incident with a button battery. Our son was playing with a flashlight and took it apart and stuck the battery in his mouth. I’d run inside for a minute and he was in his carseat. (There is the guilt factor) He told me he had accidentally eaten something he shouldn’t have and it burned a little but he felt better. I jumped out of the car and found a flashlight taken apart and one battery on the floor–relieved until my husband informed me it should have had two. We took him to the ER and had it x-rayed to make sure it wasn’t stuck. I’d heard a horror story the week prior about one of these getting lodged and basically eating the flesh from the inside of a child, so I was panicking. It passed within a day, but we are crazy about anything with a button battery around the kids now. If I didn’t give the kids (and my fears) back to God on a somewhat regular basis I would be a basket case. Thanks for sharing.
Aunna
Its not just coins… when my eldest child was 8 months old, I was sitting on our sofa talking to a neighbor while my daughter played at my feet with a stuffed animal, all of a sudden we heard an odd sound coming from her, I picked her up and her lips were blue. I flipped her over my knee and started smacking her back, she threw up, once, but continued to struggle, she finally threw up a second time and was obviously better. I dug through her vomit to find what it could have been, and find a very tiny “Made in China” sticker.
Needless to say, I combed all over her toys that very hour looking for any hidden choking hazards.
Sheri
For me, it was a bay leaf that didn’t get removed from the sauce. It got stuck in my throat. I was a young teen. I don’t cook with bay leaves…
JB
Thank you
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life
What a scary moment! So glad your husband was prepared and your daughter is ok!
I totally understand the heads up/encouragement for caution, but don’t feel too bad about scrolling. A book or conversation or many other things could have been equally distracting. But I agree, choking incidents are so scary. We haven’t had any serious incidents but I am always nervous as our kids start to eat more and more real food. My daughter can’t handle tortilla chips yet because they almost alway make her gag.
Nikki
Our three year old choked on a quarter last year. I knew she had the change as she had been putting change in her bank on her own for a long time. She had never put it in her mouth before but on this particular day she was taking change from one bank to put it in another and decided to use her mouth as a third hand. It was very scary. After much coughing and throwing up and a call to 911 she was able to get it up on her own. Rescue still came and she was fine after but she was VERY concerned about who had made such a mess? We had put baking soda all over the messy spots. It was so scary and we are so thankful that God spared her. These type of accidents are very scary and so thankful that your little girl was okay too. I am thankful that my husband stays in a state of calm when emergencies happen as I DO NOT!!! 🙁
Kristina
When my middle child was a couple months from being 3, I was in the kitchen making Rice krispie treats for the older child’s class. He wanted a marshmallow and I had extra so I gave it to him. He went into the living room and sat on the couch watching TV. He came into the kitchen a few minutes later and he was crying. He was saying he had thrown up on the couch. I was confused because he hadn’t seem sick. I went in to clean up the mess and I found a whole marshmallow. I have not bought the large marshmallows since!! I even cringe at weiner roast with smores. He is now 12 years old. But it scared me to death!! I would have never thought of marshmallows as a chocking hazard. I always cut up hot dog into qu
Nora
Thank God that your little girl is ok. Thank you for sharing your story. I had an incident when my daughter was 4 or 5 at the time and she was eating snacks in the car while I was driving. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw her choking!!! I immediately stopped on the side of the road, got her out of the booster seat and started to hit her back. Luckily that was enough to dislodge whatever was stuck and she started to cry! Needless to say, my kids were not allowed to eat in the car till they got older (they are now 16 & 13). That was super scary for me!
Mel
Thank you for sharing and you are NOT alone! I was a stay at home mom and hovered over my two toddlers at the time. When our son was 15 months old, he found a dime on the floor, put it in a plastic cup and brought it to me to show me how it sounded when he rattled it around. I thought it was cute and didn’t think twice about it. A few minutes later he brought me the cup with no dime in it. My daughter who was almost 3 at the time said “Eli ate the money”. When I looked at him, I noticed he wasn’t talking or coughing or doing anything. His face started to loose color and I knew he was choking. I frantically asked him to talk to me…to say “mommy”…anything!!! But nothing came out! I picked him up and pounded on his back until he swallowed the coin. My daughter was screaming at me “why are you hitting Eli” and all I could do was scream back that he was choking and I needed to help him breathe. She didn’t know what was going on and I was in panic mode! I immediately took him to the ER and they did x-rays to make sure the coin didn’t go down in his lungs…another problem with coin swallowing. Point is, even if you are fully present with no cell phones, things happen!
McKenna
You are so brave for sharing this! Unintentional injuries are so prevalent among young children, and figuring out how to reduce the risk of them happening is challenging. I actually am a grad student in a lab that focuses on reducing these injuries, and part of that is identifying what “adequate supervision” looks like. As your story illustrates, though, there aren’t good guidelines for what is “adequate” — you were within her proximity, could hear her if she were in trouble, could see her. It’s amazing what kids can get into! I’m so thankful for you and your family that your husband was able to save her and that everyone is okay. Thanks again for sharing your story!
Best,
McKenna
thischarminglychaoticlife.com
Angel
As a mom I just feel the need to let you know this was so not your fault!! You can’t watch them 24-7. I learned this the hard way. My daughter was 4yrs old and I was cooking lunch for my kids( at the time 4 years old triplets they are gonna be 10 next month), she was getting into candy so I put it on top of the microwave and turned around to finish loading the dishwasher. I heard her pull the chair back to climb up and get candy and said to put it back. She had climbed into the chair and fell getting down. As she was falling grabbed a 4qt pot of rolling boiling water and it dumped on her. I got her clothes off as fast as I could and started SCREAMING for my husband who was upstairs. I called 911 as she was screaming crying and her skin was literally rolling off blistering and rolling layer after layer. She spent 34 days in the hospital 6surgeries 5 skin grafts and months of physical therapy, a year in burn garmets and almost died when she almost went into cardiac arrest on day 3. I blame myself to this day and ask myself “why did I put it up there?” ” why did I have the pot on the front eye I knew better” “why Couldn’t I have turned her quick enough so it would have gotten me instead”…we blame ourselves as moms even when we know logically there wasn’t anything we could have done differently. You didn’t KNOW she had them. Give yourself a break! Thank God she is fine and you still have her and enjoy every precious moment! #hugs
Allison
When my oldest was very young he choked and had to be put under to get it out. So so very scary. Ever since I have been super cautious about anything him and his younger brother can get a hold of that is possible choking hazards. He was crawling on the floor and I had just gotten home from work so I wasn’t paying as much attention. He started choking and his dad tried to get it out but it just pushed it further down. He started spitting up blood but thankfully he was still able to breathe some. After two ambulance rides and many hours later of just waiting on doctors they finally got it out. It was stuck in there like 5 or 6 HOURS and he was crying in pain and you could hear how awful his breathing was. Turns out it was a little screen like goes in a faucet. The little wires were sharp and cut him up in there but those little holes in the screen is what allowed him to breathe. Scariest day of my life.
Cara (Twinthusiast)
So glad she’s ok. Thank you for posting this. I have twin preschoolers and a 9 month-old baby and my house is not exactly baby-proofed. My girls are constantly leaving small objects around the house, and I need this reminder to be more vigilant.
Leigh
My daughter swallowed a quarter when she was 2 and a half. I was in the shower and I had left her on my bed with some toys and a cartoon on. Something we did many times. We had been very good about keeping change out of her reach, but this was an accident. My husband had emptied his pockets the night before and had forgotten to pick up the coins.
She came into the bathroom coughing and holding out her little hand holding coins. Thank god she got to me. She them seemed ok, no coughing and appeared fine. I rushed her to the hospital on the advice of our pediatrician. They did an X-ray and could see a quarter sitting in her stomach.
We checked diapers after that to make sure it had passed. I thank my lucky stars. We were so fortunate.
we all do so much to protect our kids but accidents happen. We were all lucky that our kids were ok.
I’m glad your daughter is ok too.
Joy
My son was 5. I was in the room, talking on the phone with our dish TV provider tech, trying to get the TV working again. my son was eating ice, sitting in his chair. i always melt the ice down to smaller piece. #1 so they are small, #2 so they are not so hard and he can easily chomp on them. Apparenly one was not melted enough, and he began to choke. I too have taken CPR and first aid classes as I work in a medical clinic. I know if they can cough, or make sounds etc. they arn’t completely choking. But after several seconds, and a few frantic questions, are you choking, can you cough, try to cough, probably repeated several times, probably due to me not wanting to accept that this may actually be happening, the trified look came over his face and I lunged twards him. I grabbed him up and was scanning the room for the best optional place when the ice finally melted enough to painfully be swallowed. THANK GOD!
Heart
That’s horrible, Erin! But good thing your husband knows the heimlich manuever. Gosh! We all need to learn it.
Angie
So wonderful to hear your precious angel is fine. Those moments with our children our life changing. When one of our sons was about 18 months old I was driving down the road and heard him coughing / choking. As far as I knew he had nothing in his mouth. Very quickly he quit making noise and I realized he was definitely choking. I ran the truck off the road, almost hit a chain link fence and grabbed him from his car seat and started doing the Heimlich on him and then he vomited and there was a small screw. We have no ideal where it came from. Just very thankful it came out. This has been almost 15 years ago but it was so scary its like it was yesterday. From then on I was more alert to anything all the kids might be able to reach or access while we were driving. With our last two little ones I think I was a bit obsessive when it came to what I gave them to eat and the size I cut things up but one experience like that was something I never wanted to repeat. God bless your beautiful family.
Carrie
If you suspect a child has swallowed a coin and is not choking they do still need to be monitored or taken to the doctor. Coins can become lodged in the throat and flip so that the airway is not obstructed and then they can flip flat. At age 25 I went to use my inhaler and and did not realize that a dime was in it. Anyhow I inhaled it and swallowed it. I thought it was a quarter. I could feel something odd so I called my doctor and they sent me to the ER. The staff at the ER told me this, in fact I did not wait in the ER, they rushed me back. It was highly embarrassing. Lucky for me, the coin did float it’s way down. Apparently because a lot of people keep inhalers in pockets, what I did is not rare! But still I was mortified.
Liosha
Thank you for sharing.. As I type this 11:53pm. I feel like I’ve developed such an addiction to the occasional scroll. The sound of “mommy” as if they are interrupting me from something so important. What if I didn’t hear “mommy” anymore and all I had was the “occasional scroll”. Your post was humbling and puts life in true perspective.
Keely Miller
It is always so scary when your child chokes. I am so glad your husband got the coin to come back up. My son has mild CP, after years of multiple therapies and early intervention, he looks just like any other ten year old, except for a limp, muscle weakness, speech delay, and weakness in his mouth and throat called dysphagia. Because of that weakness he chokes often. Luckily, I know the Hiemlich maneuver. I tell people all the time not to feed him big bites. Sadly the only way they learn is to experience his choking. Anyways, I swear my children are the reason I have gray hair. LOL! Don’t be hard on yourself. Every mother can tell you a story of a regretted mistake. Big Hugs