By Jessica, Contributing Writer
Dear mom who thinks her hormones are out of whack,
They are.
The end.
Ha! Just kidding. There is more to the post! But seriously – that does sum it up nicely!
So many of us women experience hormonal issues! I’m a member of a local “crunchy” Facebook group where moms can post their health questions and concerns, and, oh my goodness … it is like clockwork! About once a week, maybe more, one of us will post something that goes like this:
“Ladies, help! This week I’ve been having cramps/bleeding/anxiety/cravings/fatigue/hair falling out/headaches/etc. … What’s happening to my body??”
And of course, we all respond. “Oh, me, too! I had that! It’s totally normal!”
Because here is what I have learned: If you are in the child-rearing, child-birthing, thirty-something stage of life, abnormal is the norm. Yes, that’s right. It is normal to feel abnormal. If you are a middle-aged woman who has NO irksome hormonal issues right now, then go buy a lottery ticket, because you’re one lucky duck. More often than not, something will be off.
I will often chat with my mom about my ever-changing health issues, and she’ll give me the most wise advice. “Jessica, my 30s were awful on my body. There is so much changing, so much adjusting, regulating, rising and falling. My body was so out of whack I usually felt terrible!”
I don’t know about you, but just hearing this makes me feel a little better! At the same time, it doesn’t make the actual way we feel from day to day any better, does it? Hormones are powerful things. Imbalanced hormones have been said to impact nearly every system in the body, causing symptoms including (but not limited to!):
- headaches
- hot flashes
- depression/anxiety
- too sleepy
- not sleepy enough
- weight loss
- weight gain
- lumpy breasts
- heavy periods
- light periods
- foggy thinking
- memory issues
- acne
- ovulation pain
- dry skin
- spotty skin
- nausea
- and the list goes on!
Image courtesy of Dollar Photo Club
What a list! And amazingly, I’ve suffered from just about all of those at one time or another! If you, too, are exhausted from riding the hormonal roller coaster ride, here are a few tips I have found necessary to survive the epic challenge known as Middle-Aged Womanhood.
1. Learn how your monthly cycle impacts your body.
I recently did some research on what to do when in your cycle, and it was very enlightening! I realized WHY I had been feeling the way I was feeling each week of the month, which helped so much! Of course, every woman’s body is different. It is beneficial to track your own cycle – cravings, moods, fatigue, abdominal pain, etc. This will help you, and perhaps even others living in the home!
2. Do your research. There are many underlying reasons why a woman’s body is not functioning correctly.
I have appreciated Erin’s series on adrenal fatigue as well as thyroid problems, and I know many women have benefited from treating these issues. In my personal struggle with anxiety and depression, I have found many resources that treat and manage this underlying problem. I have learned that these “mental issues” can cause a myriad of physical symptoms!
3. At the same time, come to peace with the fact that your body will not work perfectly.
This has been very hard for me, a recovering Life-Must-Be-Perfect Girl. But it is true, and accepting this fact has made the most remarkable difference in my life! We live in a fallen world, and part of this means accepting that the body does not work perfectly. Of course, it’s easier to do if you suffer from occasional acne or dry skin. However, if your condition is a debilitating, crippling chronic one that has overtaken your life, this is much harder to accept. I understand this well. There was a time that I was crippled by an ailment that I could do nothing to eliminate. It was very, very hard to concentrate on anything else. Here are some tips I have for distracting yourself while something is bothering you. It is not easy, but these tips do help!
4. Cut yourself some slack.
Think of it. If your body has given birth recently, you have given birth. To a new human being. If you have breastfed recently, you have provided life-giving food. For a human being. From your body. If you’re having your period, every month your body does amazing, amazing things, escalating hormones and then plummeting them, producing an egg, preparing the womb for birth, then shedding the womb’s lining. So you know what? If I feel utterly exhausted sometimes, I think it’s okay to take a nap. If I am dragging myself through the day for some inexplicable reason and having trouble doing all I *should* be doing, I’m not going to further add guilt to the burden. It’s okay to be “less-than” for a season. It’s only a season.
5. Decide how much time, money, and energy you want to invest in discovering a cure for your hormonal issues.
Do not become obsessed, because it only brings damage to you and your family. How do I know this, you ask? Oh. Because I have been there. I have let my crazy weird elimination diets drive me (and everyone around me) crazy. I have let my health problems become the center of my marriage, to its severe detriment. I have become obsessed with my problem, to the point that my obsession become more damaging to our family than the actual health issues themselves!
Sarah
Uuuggghhh!!! It’s so hard! I’ve read the articles about adrenal fatigue and hormone imbalance and they pretty spell out my life for the last few years. But when I read the list of what to do to make it better, I’m exhausted from just reading the list. I feel like I will be in this cycle eternally 🙁 I don’t have many older woman in my life, only my MIL, who seems to never have a health issue ever and thinks I’m just lazy ?
Sherrie
I’m in my mid 40’s, and thank for this article, I swear I don’t even know my own body any more,
I’m tired all the time, the mood swings are crazy, but what I find worse than all the rest is that I constantly feel bloated. It’s nice (sorry) to know I don’t suffer alone.
Jessica
Sherrie,
Feeling bloated all the time can be very serious. I encourage you to talk to your obgyn.
Gina
I hate feeling tired and the foggy thinking. With so much to do and take care of, feeling tired is not really an option for the busy mom! Not the healthiest solution but for now coffee works really good to get me through my day! 🙂
Lori
I have awful mood swings. And I was angry at myself for the terrible behavior that would come from it. But I realize I have a choice in my response to my family and how I feel about myself. It’s hard work but mood swings don’t have to control you. Ps…everything doesn’t have to get done today.
jaime
AMEN! i was literally driving myself crazy thinking EVERYTHING had to be done TODAY …and when it didnt happen i would become a emotional monster! ranging from being hysterical to being short and rude to being down on myself and depressed. i really thought that how good of a mom i was, was based on how clean my house was. i was miserable. it is hard to do but now i take time to spend with my kids making the messes i was so crazy about cleaning up. i never really got to enjoy my family the way i wanted to i always was the first one up the last one to bed i was the one running around and serving everyone at dinner but then i never had a chance to sit down and enjoy dinner with my family. my priories were way out of wack. i struggle everyday to get a good balance in life but i try and i will continue to try everyday. being a mom is thee hardest job you are expected to be on 24/7 with no break, no vacation, no time outs….no you time and carrying the world on your shoulders day in and day out eventually will take its toll on you. it is bitter sweet reading blogs and other mother going thru the same things i feel bad because it is such a hopeless feeling at times but then im relived to know im not alone…the struggle is REAL! Shout out to all my mommies your doing a fabulous job : )
Mandie
This is my life exactly! Lol
erickajen
if you’ve ever been on birth control, you may as well assume your hormones are going to be screwed up. they tell your body not to do whats natural and therefore, sometimes your body will not do it right anymore. the only way i got pregnant with my daughter was prog supplimentation because my body wont make it right anymore. thanks mirena.
Shea Phillips
I have noticed my anxiety is getting worse as I get older. I would love to hear what you have learned helps. I am toying with the idea of trying a medication to help. That is not normally my go to but I feel like i just need some help.
Jessica Smartt
Hi Shea, I’ve posted quite a few tips for dealing with anxiety. You can find them here. http://smarttereachday.com/do-you-know-someone-whos-a-worrier/. I address the medication issue there, as well!
Patty
At 38 I am just getting used to the idea that these changes are happening. I found great help in the book “Unglued” by Lysa Terkeurst. It’s a faith-based approach to dealing with those times when you just want to scream……which I do……a lot!
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
Wendy
i liked your article, but I think it’s important to note that sometimes what we think may be hormonally related issues are in fact indicators of a more serious health issue. My period was off, I was excessively tired, and, after being told what was happening was just and aging problem, I had tests done and found out that I have Leukemia. So yes, it’s normal to not feel normal, but if we feel like something else might be going on, it’s smart to see a doctor, one who takes your concerns seriously.
kinsley
For the last 8 months I have been having suicidal thoughts during the 4-5 days that lead up to my period. I know what is going on now (since May) so I can talk myself through it. It took me a while to figure it out but now I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. I’m 38.
T.
It’s great you realize what is going on with your body and thoughts but I’d encourage to speak with a trusted confidant/person anyhow. Might be helpful!
Laura
You may have PMDD. Premenstral Dysphoria disorder. You should check with your OB.
Patricia
This is great seeing how normal it is. I often feel to young to feel as if I’m falling apart. At 20 I found out I have hypothyroidism so fatigue is a familiar thing. At 30 I found out I have Hashimotos, gone through menopause and some more. Been put on hormone patch and vitamins. But the fatigue still seems so extreme now I have been put on vitamin d and b12 to help but not so much. I’m fixing to be 31 and spent the last year surrounded by doctors we took a step back a few months ago bc I couldn’t handle anymore. Sometimes it’s not worth it.
Teresa
I am 34 (mom of 8yo, 6yo, and 3yo) and all my blood panels were perfect, as were my testosterone, and thyroid levels. I did a lot of research and have started using progesterone cream. It may be too early to tell, but I think it is working for my irritability and anxiety. Google it 🙂 God bless!
Kathy Zeller
Natural Progesterone Cream. Dr John Lee. ‘What your doctor does not tell you about premenopause’
Christina
I’m 36, I have a 6 year old and a 10 year old. I have been on birth control, except to conceive my children, my entire 12 years of marriage, till about 6 months ag0. I had been having horrible headaches and hot flashes around my period and sometimes it went into the rest of the month. My GP sent me to my Gyn who took me off my BC to see what my natural hormones were doing. I was hardly off it a month before I noticed a significant difference. I felt TONS better and it impacted so many areas I didn’t realize. Mood Swings. Sex Drive. Energy Level. I wish I had known many years ago what the BC was doing to my body. I felt like something was very wrong with me. My husband is thrilled and so am I! We’ve just had to adjust methods till he gets things taken care of 😉
Lk
Acne. Lifelong battle which is at its worst ever at 28. Which perpetuates my depression and anxiety. Make.it.stop. 🙁