Today’s birth story is from contributing writer Mary, of The Encouraging Home. Be sure to pay her site a visit! You can go back and read my first birth story here, about Jodi’s unplanned, unassisted homebirth here, or about Sara’s near C-section here. Come link up your own story on Friday!
By Mary of The Encouraging Home, Contributing Writer
I am a natural loving mama. But I did not have natural childbirths with my two sons. It was a decision that my husband and I made after much prayer and consideration of my health problems.
We were told in the first year of our marriage that we would never have children due to endometriosis and other health problems I have. Those words pierce you like a knife, especially when all you ever wanted to do was be a wife and mommy. Surgery to scrape away the endometriosis was scheduled after a year.
A week before the surgery, we found out we were expecting. God is good! We were so excited and thankful, but the pregnancy soon became a roller coaster of emotions. I did not have lupus, but experienced the symptoms, and the lupus count skyrocketed during the pregnancy.
The doctor told us we would miscarry. We made it through that time and were told that my body was attacking our baby. He was not growing. I was prepared to deliver him at 28 weeks because it was believed he would be safer away from my body.
It is horrible to think that you are attacking your own baby that you are supposed to be protecting.
Photo Credit
We made it past that point and were told to expect stillbirth. I had a wonderful, Christian doctor and felt safe with him. The decision was made to induce at almost 39 weeks. A neonatal team was in the room ready to move into action.
I was induced at 8:30 that morning and by 11 a.m. the Pitocin (horrid stuff) did its thing. I went from a 2 to a 9 almost instantly, but my water would not break, so the doctor broke it. I had an epidural placed earlier.
I was allowed to eat and had good nurses…just a whole lot of them. The thought that they were there to save my baby’s life was scary and comforting. It was time to push at 2:00. The epidural had not taken, so they kept pumping it in. Then I couldn’t feel anything from the chest down.
Flat on my back, legs in stirrups, doing something I had never done before, with the mindset that our baby would probably be stillborn, along with a team of people in our room, does not add up to a pleasant experience.
I pushed for 2 1/2 hours. I could not feel anything and had to go by what the nurse told me. My husband was a constant support and a jewel. Our baby’s heart rate was dropping fast and the doctor told me I had 2 more pushes and or he was getting him out. HOW??
Image by dchasteen
The Birth
Complete episiotomy and vacuum extraction brought us our 7 lb. 1 oz. baby boy at 4:22 p.m. The team moved into action, because he was unable to breathe on his own. We were desperately praying that our son would survive. I was unable to hold him for an hour, because of his complications, but he was fine ~ such a gift from God!!
It was a very difficult experience, because I don’t think I wanted him to be born. We were told he would be stillborn and I wanted to keep him alive in me as long as I could. He was our miracle baby, the one we were not supposed to have and the one who was not supposed to live.
We were thankful for our wonderful doctor who was with us all the way. The labor and delivery was difficult and the lupus symptoms wreaked havoc on my body. I was literally bruised from head to toe, so I was able to stay in the hospital a few days longer.
Image by Kylan Robinson
We were told if we ever wanted more children, not to wait. When our oldest was 14 months old, we were delighted to learn that we were expecting again. The pregnancy went fairly smoothly and the lupus symptoms were not an issue with this pregnancy.
Things were going fine until 28 weeks when I went into hard preterm labor. By 30 weeks, I was dilated to 2 cm. I was not put on bedrest, because when that is when the contractions went full force. Five trips to the hospital to ensure I was not dilating more, 5 shots to stop the labor and finally started on medicine at home to stop the labor at 31 weeks until 36 weeks.
I hated the medicine, but it was the lesser of the two evils. The medicine made my heart race and my body quiver. Plus, I had a 22 month old toddler running around. I was exhausted.
At 38 weeks, the contractions didn’t stop. We went to the hospital and were in a room at 7:00 a.m. I was 5 cm. I had a walking epidural this time. I was able to walk around and to feel the contractions, especially on the right side where it didn’t take. The doctor broke my water and at 10:45; I was at 10 cm and ready to go.
Image by Eddie Awad
It was a vastly different experience than the first. We only had the doctor and the nurse in the room. I was more in charge, had a birth plan and was able to walk around and sit up during this delivery. Our second son was born at 11 a.m. weighing 5 lbs. 11 oz. Such an easy delivery compared to the first one.
Our son was tiny, but had no complications. I was able to hold him immediately and tore very little. We were blessed with two little miracles.
This was what worked best for us in our situation. Even at a hospital birth, it is possible to have your wishes met. Have a birth plan; discuss it with your doctor. Know beforehand what you want and do not want. Pray for good nurses and a good doctor on call. We were blessed to go to church with our doctor and he allowed us to call him at home and came even if he was on call. That was a comfort and a blessing.
Our two sons were miracles and we are very thankful. If the Lord ever blesses us with more, we will re-evaluate our situation at that point.
Are you a “natural” mama with an “unnatural” birth story? Share in the comments!
For help with preparing for a natural childbirth, check out the #1 bestselling online childbirth course, Mama Natural Birth Course. You can watch the course in the comfort of your own home! And for more information on how to achieve a natural birth in a hospital setting, I recommend the eBook Unbound Birth.
Find our entire natural pregnancy and birthing series on the Series page!
Mary is a farm girl, wife, and homeschooling mom to 2 sons. She is passionate about her faith, family, homeschooling, healthy living and tries to find balance in it all, as well as farm life. She blogs at The Encouraging Home where she tries to encourage others in life and to stay focused on the Lord and the things that truly matter, even through stress, chaos, and trials. It is her desire that women will rise up and take back the challenge of raising their children for the Lord, so we can change future generations and our nation.
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*I have included affiliate links in this post.
Erin @ My Mommy World
Wow, what a story! I’m so happy that God allowed you to have your miracle babies 🙂 Congratulations!
AnneJ
Yup, I’m a natural mama with an unnatural birth. My first was 23 days overdue. And still had to be induced. We gave him so much time to come naturally, but it didn’t happen. Then he started showing signs of stress, and by that time we were all feeling nervous about allowing him anymore time to come on his own. I was induced. His heart rate would drop in long contractions, and I had to be monitored constantly, labouring stuck laying on a bed. I had an epidural. I tore soooo badly. But he was safe and sound, and at that point, that’s what mattered most!
With my second, I tried more natural ways and still went overdue. An induction had to be scheduled. In the end, I had to cancel the induction since I was so sick (flu). So my son was “naturally” induced, in that my dehydration started labour. 😉 The rest of his birth was natural, and I am glad I got to experience an almost all-natural birth!
It’s good to strive to be natural, but also important to know there is a place for medical interventions, and I am very grateful for it!
Karina
Hi, I’m a missionary wife in Madagascar – natural mama and experienced with unnatural births.
My first baby was slightly overdue and when labor started I dilated to 10cm but she refused to descend at all. My midwife had the OB see me, who performed a c-section after 23 hours of labor. I was put under general because my epidural wasn’t effective. My emotions were shot, as I battled disappointment as a “failed” mama who couldn’t birth her own baby.
My 2nd baby was overdue, I was planning for a VBAC, but the more overdue I went the higher the risks for a unsuccessful VBAC delivery. I didn’t want to labor for hours, only to end up in surgery again. So we opted for the c-section. This way I felt somewhat “in control” of the decision. I was so excited to hold my sweet son. No disappointment there. The means of his birth didn’t matter.
3rd Baby – planned c-section. Overjoyed with another daughter.
4th Baby – planned c-section, second dear son arrived safe and sound.
God humbled me by literally taking the control I thought I had out of my hands. He reminded me that He is in control. As well, I have learned that the birthday, while it is important, is not the ultimate. There is soooooooooooo much more to parenting a child than the way they enter the world.
Blessings.
Odessa
I have been struggling with the “birth” of my second child. Things went ok with my first. It was a long labor and I had an epidural, but no big deal. With my second I had been getting a lot of Braxton Hicks for the last month or more so my body was all prepared – I look at them as exercises to strengthen the muscles. So then when it came time to push I was doing great. The problem was that my son wasn’t even going down into the birth canal. After a few hours he was getting distressed. So they had to cut me open in an emergency C-section. He was “sunny side up” which means that instead of facing my back with the top of his head pointed down he was facing forward and trying to look where he was going. If you have ever put clothes on a little one you know how it goes over the head – you start at the back. It is difficult if you try to get it over the forehead first. Then, I was a week late, and even though I was measuring right on at 40 weeks when they got him out they discovered he was 9lbs and 8oz. So on top of having the C-section, they had to cut an extra 2 inches just to get him out. Then the back of my uterus tore some, so even if things work out for me to get pregnant again it would not be smart to go with a VBAC. I struggle with having had my son cut out of me. I just have to look at the fact that if that wasn’t done he would be dead, and they probably would have had to cut me open anyway to get him out of me so that I wouldn’t die as well. If this was 100 years ago we would both be dead. But I still struggle with the fact that it wasn’t a vaginal birth. ….I just have to look at the bright side and thank and praise God that the medical personal with knowledge and the equipment were available so that both my son and I are alive.
Jacqueline @ deeprootsathome.com
I love reading birth stories!! I am so thankful that both of your sons are fine! Our Lord is so good!! Mary, I thank god for all of His provision to you. Thank you for encouraging others who feel afraid. May the Lord give them strength to take one step at a time.
IAlso, it’s good to strive to be as natural as possible, but also important to know there is a place for medical interventions! We would have no children if it wasn’t for that.
rabya faisal
Well said…
Mary A
So glad you have your boys! I am an older mom now with grandchildren but long ago I had one of those epidurals that only “took” on one side. No matter what we go through to have them our children are so precious to us.
Nisa
These stories are so comforting and familiar. I have had to come to terms that try as I might I can not control everything (or most things!) and even if its not the way I planned his birth, a healthy baby is what mattered in the end. I had planned a birth center birth, had a healthy pregnancy and then the last week of my pregnancy found out that my baby was tiny and there had to be something going on. We heard awful news that week. I labored 30hrs naturally 26 of them at home. Found out that his heart rate was dropping as soon as we got to the hospital, and there was meconium. So that meant many of my natural wishes had to go away. But after praying for hours that my son would be born alive, happy and healthy, I was given just that (though tiny at just under 6lbs). No epidural, no episiotomy, no force (beyond my own brute strength and will) to get him out. And he has been fighting to thrive ever since. I hope and pray God gives me an easier, more calm and natural birth the next go around, but I have learned that its all in His hands either way.
Kristi
I’m another one! My little guy came at 41 weeks. I had been having Braxton Hicks at home already for 20 hours before my water broke and real labor began and we headed for the hospital. I labored for another 10 hours naturally (in agonizing pain! I really thought I was going to die several times.) I was told to push, as the nurse left the room. A new nurse came in and said I was no longer progressing, my body had seized up from pain and exhaustion, and the baby probably had meconium. So they gave the epi. Six hours later I delivered a healthy, 8 lb 12oz boy!
It was a rough beginning, but I was humbled, and so grateful to live in an age where they know how to save lives when natural birth just isn’t an option. I thank God for
mynbeautiful, healthy baby
I
had torn really badly. I wasn’t able to hold him for over an hour as they worked on him and getting me sewn back up. As another mom said, God had taken all of my control away, and proved to me
Kristi
Sorry! You can delete the last few lines. I couldn’t get to it!
Thanks for sharing your story!
bek
Praise the Lord! I can’t believe they didn’t insist on C-sections immediately, both times. That seems to be the go-to these days as if it is less stress on the baby but I am glad you were able to push those precious babies out with just a little assistance. I am blessed to have had 2 natural births with midwives so far but with #3 on the way, I have the sinking feeling, I may be in need of altering my birth plan mid labor so I am thankful to read stories like yours that help me prepare to change my mindset. Its not the end of the world! 🙂
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Johnna
Yes… natural mama with an unnatural c-section births for all 3 of my daughters. The first was the worst, almost like rape because I was so set against it and my doctor despised me for it. He wouldn’t even speak to me in the delivery room. The second two c-sections were much easier, even enjoyable because I was more surrendered to the process and was in more control of the events of the day for each one. I just praise God that we got all 3 babes here safe. I too was told I’d have no children, so each one is a miracle and answered plea to God.
Erin
Oh wow, Johnna! I am so, so sorry to hear how your first birth went. I have heard about birth trauma from other friends as well. Praise God that the second and third times were better–and,yes,praise Him for healthy babies! Thanks for sharing!
Rose
I too had two c sections. The first was an emergency section because I hadn’t dilated more than 1.5 cm after 12 hours of labor, having my water broken, and getting pitocin. Turns out it was God’s blessing…she was born with a birth defect (benign growth) in her mouth and the drs don’t know what could have happened had she gone through the birth canal like that. She was also 8 lbs 13 oz and only 2 days late. I had many complications from that but none life threatening. It did take me 3 yrs to be ready to try to conceive again bc I knew it would be a c section. When we finally got pregnant and my oldest was 5, I knew it would be a c section after just one conversation with my dr. The second c section was so much smoother – partly bc the second daughter didn’t have any birth issues and also bc I knew what to expect. I healed much quicker. She was already 8 lbs 5 oz and almost 2 weeks early. The part of a slc section that didn’t sit well with me was picking her birthday essentially but God took care of that too! She came 5 days earlier than the planned c section when my waters leaked at home.