Family Finances
The year 2014 was huge for this blog and my business.
Social media numbers grew. Subscriber numbers grew. Relationships with other bloggers grew (at least on a surface level). Income grew. And traffic went through the roof to numbers I only dreamed I would one day see.
Other bloggers and even real-life friends began putting me on a pedestal. People said things like:
“You’re superwoman!”
“You’re famous!”
“You have built an empire!”
I even had people stop me in real life and say: “Are you Erin from the internet?”
Some people felt guilty or like they didn’t measure up when comparing themselves with their online image of me:
“Mmkay, I want to know how you run your blog, maintain a social media presence, work on a book proposal, cook all real food for your family, homeschool part of the week, read five books AND rest,” a college friend commented on one of my Facebook posts one day. “I really hope that’s what your book is about!”
When I look back over my 2014 blogging goals, I met them all.
But I began to feel empty.
By the end of the year, I was longing for deeper, more intentional real-life community.
When my blogging mentor–who is one of the top bloggers in the industry–told me she had not met many of her business goals for 2014 but had more margin in her life, deeming the year a home run success, I longed for what she described.
So for 2015, I designated my one word to be “deeper.”
Deeper online relationships (really pouring into a few specific online friends instead of the masses of acquaintances).
Deeper real-life community.
And, most of all, going deeper with my family and my faith.
This sentiment was only strengthened during my family’s time in Costa Rica. Although we were just there for five fast weeks, we embedded ourselves with the people. We lived with a Costa Rican woman for part of the trip, and we embraced the culture and the language.
Coming home has been difficult and a bit disillusioning, if I am honest.
Costa Ricans, like much of the world, don’t live with the stress that comes with the desire for more and more and more. Their lives are simple. The vast majority get by with the basics.
Yet, with little material possessions compared to their North American counterparts, they are happier than most U.S. citizens who live in excess.
I’m tired of the American rat race for more money and more stuff.
It’s not a problem isolated to the corporate world and suburbs. The pursuit of more things at the expense of relationships, health, and sanity has infiltrated every aspect of our culture, including blogging.
When I started this blog 4 1/2 years ago, the entire online atmosphere was different.
It was about community and encouragement. It was a whole lot more personable. Yes, plenty of bloggers were making money at the time, but they did not cheapen their work or disregard their dignity in order to do so.
They were real.
The blogosphere has taken a shift in recent years. The focus now is on more pageviews, more money, more fame.
Rich content has been replaced with cheap copycat round-ups.
Deep connections have been replaced with quick click-throughs.
Encouragement and ministry have been replaced with more money-making ventures.
As I listened to the keynote speaker at a blogging conference a couple years back, I cringed as she stated: “So what if I’m not the mom who bakes muffins with my kids? I can laugh at those moms because I’m making 6 figures on my blog.”
God has provided more financially through this blog than I ever imagined possible, but I ask myself: “When is enough enough?”
I can always make more money, but I can never regain this precious time with my girls. They are growing up fast, and I don’t want their childhood memories clouded by their mother’s laptop and her index finger held up, saying: “Just one more minute. I have to answer one more email or respond to one more comment on Facebook.”
I have not kept it secret that my family runs this blog as a business (and, for now, we will continue to do so), but I have purposely distanced myself from those bloggers who see their platforms as nothing more than wealth-building stages.
I’ve left Facebook groups and have narrowed my circle of influence to those who share my same value system and who place God first, families second, and readers next–knowing that it’s the Lord who provides the income from our work.
I want to see people over pageviews, moms in the trenches over money.
I don’t want to keep building an empire as if this relative success comes from me. When I’m in the spotlight, God takes a backseat. This should not be.
I’m not abandoning blogging all together, but I’m praying hard about how this next season will look. My firstborn is about to enter 1st grade, and my younger two are not far behind her.
These little years are so fleeting, and after this summer, I am more convinced than ever that strong familial relationships start now–not when they are teenagers.
I will continue to write. And I will continue to run a business to generate an income for my family and to bring God glory.
I don’t pretend to have heard God’s voice audibly, but perhaps one of the closest I’ve ever got was in the newspaper office of my college campus during my senior year. I told God: “I want to be a foreign missionary.” Immediately, I felt Him impress upon me: “Erin, you will reach more through writing.”
And so, I write.
I don’t know exactly what that writing will look like from here on out, but I do know this: I am done with the rat race. My desire is to sink my roots in deeper to this community, leave the empire building to others.
Have you felt a shift in the online world in the past few years? How can we grow deeper communities in the internet age?
p.s.
Earlier this summer, I watched this video clip of Joanna Gaines of the TV show “Fixer Upper.” In it, she talks about God’s hand in her life and business. I hope it will encourage you–no matter your season in life.
Jessica DeMay
This is such a great article! Congrats on all the success and also the realization of what’s really important. I struggle with this too! I’ve only been blogging for 5 months, but I work long hours and days on it. Yes, it is nice to see numbers and income grow, but it doesn’t give me that satisfaction that spending time with my husband or church family gives me. This is something I really needed to be reminded of- thanks! 🙂
Mary P
Loved this article! It is so easy to get caught up in the whole blogging frenzy. My daughter, one of her friends, and I started a blog about a year ago, but with the express purpose of sharing recipes and information with each other and a few friends who were interested. We have been really surprised with the number of people who have visited our blog. We also share the posts on Facebook, and that is where most of our visitors see our posts. We have to keep going back and reminding ourselves not to get caught up in the numbers, especially since Facebook is constantly reminding us and asking us to boost our posts. We aren’t doing it for money – just for fun.
Erin
Your blog sounds neat, Mary! Facebook can be a beast!!
Erin
Thank you, Jessica! We started attending a new church closer to our community back in December, and we are loving the real-life community there!
MaryEllen @ Imperfect Homemaker
Bravo, Erin! I wholeheartedly agree, and yes, I’ve definitely seen the shift to the “empire building” mindset rather than simply blogging to invest in people’s lives and being thankful for the monetary perks that come along with that. That has been my heart from the beginning, but it is easy to get caught up in the rat race and hard to find the balance between setting goals and working to reach them while also maintaining the original “why”.
Even if I stay focused on the goal of investing in others, what good is that if I am doing that to the exclusion of my own little ones who are growing so quickly?!
Thankfully I am learning to recognize the signs of succumbing to “empire building” temptation, and can now nip it in the bud by disconnecting from the online world for a week or so.
Thanks for encouraging others that success isn’t in the money or the fame – it’s reaped in rewards that can’t be tangibly measured.
Erin
I’m so glad we’re on the same page, Mary Ellen! I love this: “Even if I stay focused on the goal of investing in others, what good is that if I am doing that to the exclusion of my own little ones who are growing so quickly?!”
We were unplugged from the internet several weeks this summer, and it was life changing!
Stacy
Young Momma, I feel like giving you a blogging standing ovation! You’re exactly right. The world doesn’t need another blogger focused on her readers and facebook views. The world needs more children raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I’m a blogger, quilter, business owner, homeschooler, homemaker, etc. My youngest child is ten, and my older two are in college. Trust me when I tell you, it goes by in the blink of an eye. When I get overwhelmed with orders or business development, I just laugh and remember that I have the rest of my life to run this business. I don’t have the rest of my life to make an impression on young people. I’m proud of you!
Erin
Thanks so much for the encouragement, Stacy. I love this: “I have the rest of my life to run this business. I don’t have the rest of my life to make an impression on young people.”
SunnyKaye
Well said! I agree that many blogs are just time snatchers from the family. My daughter and I started blogs for fun, to challenge ourselves to write not to make money. We avoid Facebook and other social media because they do take a lot of time away from our family. I like what Mary P states above. I need to check her site out!
I am glad that I am a subscriber to this blog. May the Lord richly bless your family.
Erin
Thank you so much Sunny Kaye!
Erica
I’ve been a fan of your site for quite a bit of time now and this particular article struck a cord with me. Although I am not a blogger I can definitely relate. My little girl was a little over two when I decided to stay at home with her. Previously I worked night hours to have the most time with her, but promotions would come and our family time would be further chipped away. Now I’ve been home for a few months and find that there are still things that could potentially take time away from the important stuff. It’s a constant battle to prioritize on God and family, but it’s totally worth it! Thank you for taking the time to write your blog and for the outpouring of encouragement your site offers to all the mamas out there!! God bless you and your family!!
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story, Erica! I am so glad you get to be at home with your little girl now! It seems like it was just yesterday that I had one little two-year-old, and now she is 7 and about to be in 1st grade and has two little sisters! Thanks again for the encouragement!
Jamey
I want you to know how glad I am that I have had your blog as encouragement over the years. Part of what I really like about what you write is that you talk about grace, you don’t condone judgement, and you truly focus on helping others. I love your relate-ability. I feel like I’m human, and it’s okay… like my weaknesses are truly an opportunity for God’s strengths to shine through me. So many times your posts have brought me to tears, convicted me with kindness, and inspired many conversations with my husband.
Two and a half years ago I was in the Army, and even though I was married to my husband, my career always came first. When we found out I was pregnant, I was given the choice to get out of the Army or stay in. I was petrified at what kind of mother I would be if I could barely be a wife, but I just did not think it would work financially. Then I saw your post about staying home with your kids when you can barely afford it. Fast forward to today, I am a proud Army veteran, a mother of a beautiful toddler with another on the way, and with a little sacrifice and encouragement I have been able to stay home for all of it and never miss a moment.
I just want you to know that your writing touched me long before you ever made tons of money. If your goal was to help a mom in the trenches, just know that you did, because you helped me.
God bless.
-Jamey
P.S. I would probably be a little starstruck if I met you too… 🙂
Erin
Jamey, YOU humble me and I would be starstruck to meet you! Seriously, this comment brought tears to my eyes! Thank you so much for your service to our country AND for answering God’s call to come home!
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life
What a wonderful story! Thank you for your service Jamey. I am so glad you took a leap of faith to stay home and have been blessed by being able to be with your child everyday. It is truly such a blessing and one that only lasts so long!
Kathy
Yay! You know where you are irreplaceable and that is with those precious children. Those of us who love deeper content will stay with you. We need those willing to write and share their hearts. Have a blessed day!
Erin
Thank you so much, Kathy!
Stephanie S
Love this post. I don’t blog, but have been struggling with the same thing recently. I wish you much happiness in wherever you choose to spend your time.
Erin
Thank you, Stephanie! I wish you happiness as well!
Kristen @ Smithspirations
Thank you for sharing your heart, wisdom, and experience, Erin! My blog is growing, and though I’d love to see it continue to grow in influence and community, and our large growing family can use all the supplemental income we can make, I know that I DON’T want an empire! It’s not what God is asking of me when He’s giving me these little children to raise.
This line challenged and encouraged me “…I don’t want their childhood memories clouded by their mother’s laptop and her index finger held up, saying: ‘Just one more minute. I have to answer one more email or respond to one more comment on Facebook.'” Worth printing and hanging up near my desk.
Thank you for what you’ve shared. It’s just what so many of us need to hear!
Erin
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Kristen! I should print that off and hang on MY desk. It’s something I need to tell myself over and over again!
Tara
Yes Yes Yes! I have many of the same thoughts in my own head that you voiced perfectly. It’s one reason why 90% of my community in real life don’t even know that I am working from home. I don’t even have the words to describe why.
Anyway, God, family, people, relationships, and loving those around us is what it’s all about. I wrote something similar last month about stepping away from social media. It seems to often bring out the worst in people. God bless you Erin. May God continue to be glorified.
Erin
Thank you so much, Tara. I am so glad to find so many on the same page who *get* it! We were without internet for a couple weeks this summer, and it was life changing!
Kristy Howard
Yes, Erin. Yes, yes, yes.
This is why I still read your blog when I have ceased reading many other “big” bloggers’ writings. You are real, and you focus on what matters to many of us real moms… relationships, life, motherhood.
Thank you!
I applaud you in your writing “success,” your transparency, your values. Thank you for sharing with us along the way. xoxoxoxo
Erin
Thank you for your encouragement, Kristy! I love how you’ve kept the heart behind your blog! I am really honored you read mine!
Gina
I really like this article. I have been following your website for awhile now- just came across it one day and been hooked ever since! Love all the things you write about. Love your articles on starting your own blog and it encouraged me to feel I could do it! Being a stay at home mom sometimes we lose ourselves and the things we enjoy as we take on the Mom role. I just started my own blog 2 weeks ago and it has changed my life! To be able to do something I enjoy again is empowering! To share with people that I never would have had an opportunity to meet is awesome! But in this short time, I have already noticed how some blogs are geared toward just making money. I commend you that you are humble 🙂 enough to do it for the love of connecting with people -not just about the money! I may not have thousands of people visiting my blog, but if I can help a small number of people here and there that is what matters! That is what drew me to your website I think- because that is what seems important to you! You were the first blog I came across that even shared information about how to start a blog! I think it is great what you are doing! God Bless!
Erin
Thank you so much, Gina! It encourages me so much that you have been encouraged on this site, and a big congrats on starting your blog!
Melody Maynard
Erin, I love this post! I recently finished reading a book called Unplugged by Orianna Fielding and it has really convicted me. I started my blog three months ago, and have really enjoyed the community-building aspects. Yet there’s something alarming about how so much internet time can take away from our real-life time. I intended to start monetizing my blog before the end of summer, but something has stopped me. While I may still turn my blog into a business someday, right now my screen time has reached its limit. I love producing encouraging content, and connecting with other women, but the rat race is truly too much right now.
Welcome back from Costa Rica! I pray that you will find that same special sense of peace back home.
Erin
Thanks so much for sharing your story, Melody! I didn’t try to monetize my blog until about a year in. I focused the first year on building up content and connecting with the community. It is SUCH a hard balance once you introduce monetization, but I am learning to say no more and say yes for *enough* but to leave the rat race behind. I know it will be freeing!
Sally W.
Yes, that’s easy to say after you have already built your empire 😉 You’re very blessed in that you can now have the best of both worlds–a successful, money-making blog and while your kids are still young enough for you to focus on them more now. What a blessing when the Lord opens our eyes to His plan…and even better when you get to have your cake and eat it to.
Erin
I do feel very grateful for God’s work in our lives.
Erin
The truth is that blogging is something that takes constant work. You never “make it” and then just sit back. I say no to many, many money-making opportunities.
Sally W.
I agree. It’s not so much a change of focus. It’s just that she has built her empire already and grown her blog to the point that she’s making so much money she can afford to be choosier and still make her 6-figure income from blogging. I do appreciate the sentiment of putting family first, but when you’ve already built the empire and have the big money coming in, it falls a little flat. I still love her blog though.
[email protected] Humbled Homemaker
Actually, Sally, I have never and will never reveal my income. That was a quote–that made me cringe–from another blogger. If only it were so easy to just “built it” and sit back. It’s not. But I never intended to build an “empire” and know that any income is from God alone. I hold it all with an open hand. I will continue to put in hard work, but I am not going to join the rat race and inauthenticity that has invaded this industry.
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life
Thank you Erin. Your openness and honesty are refreshing. It is so easy to succumb to the “more” and “better” all the time, while missing the best of what is right with you at the time. Even as I am trying to figure out this whole blogging scene and wanting my words to be used as a blessing in other people’s lives, I’m thankful for the reality check that this post offers. I am often reminding myself (and needing other like yourself to remind me) that the growth and the impact are up to the Lord. My job is to love Him and others and to be faithful in whatever He has put on my plate right now.
I do hope you keep writing because you are definitely an encouragement to so many.
[email protected] Humbled Homemaker
Thanks so much for this encouragement, Lisa! And I am SO glad we know each other in real life now! I really do hope it works out for us together sometime this fall!
Amy
You go girl…live true to your heart!!
Kristie
I wasn’t going to watch the video, because I like to read better. But, I am so glad I did! It really spoke to my heart. I also loved what you shared about God telling you that you were going to reach many people through your writing. It is awesome when you know that writing is part of your calling, and don’t have to question that part. I am sure you will be seeking God as he leads you about any changes that you need to make. Thank you for sharing this! I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for you.
Marne
Hi Erin! I am so touched with your blog particularly this one. Reading it as well as the comments brought tears to my eyes. I love the authenticity & honesty when you poured your heart out. I just came across your blogs lately and just recently keep reading it but I’m glued every time I could read one of your blogs. Your purpose have served well- you have reached me (not just by the distance as I am in Australia ) but importantly my being… What you have written is really what is in my mind. I agree every words you have mentioned here & I can relate to every sentiments that you have…but I am more encourage when you said you wanted to be a missionary but God have impressed on you that you can reach many people (which u did) through your writings…I am not a blogger but how I wish I could be one. But with my present situation now, things are becoming complicated…but since I am into fb, I used it as an opportunity & a medium to reach other people particularly those who knew me, to share God’s word & the wisdom I gain & the lessons I’ve learned through life living in difficulty as I experienced what it means to be humbled when you feel you have nothing & one in your struggle, but has to rely on the grace of God…
Please continue to write, and I hope you can work the balance in life. Me, too has a four year old son whom I felt as my mission field at the moment, which made me a full time mum & put my career a backseat.
Rachel
Great post, Erin. I read a quote you wrote somewhere about “working in the cracks” and how that had to stop at some point. I had to stop that, get up early to work hard, then fill pretty much the whole day with the kids alone. And I’ve loved it. Fewer goals, fewer stress, and surprisingly, it hasn’t affected my income that much. However, I’ve realized I have to align my priorities biblically and then let God be God. The stress to earn money (since my husband is currently unemployed) is HUGE and yet… money alone is not security without God. Great thoughts here.
Tiffany
I must say that I’m very discouraged at the comments left by TCR and Sally. I can only assume that based on these, they’re not bloggers. If they were, they would know that the “job” of a blogger literally comes with a never-ending to-do list.
There is ALWAYS something to write, someone to reply to, some task to take care of… and the work never ends at 5 pm. In fact, for many bloggers, that’s when it just begins!
Never will there be a point where the blogger can “sit back and collect.” The business of blogging doesn’t worth that way and most jobs in “real life” don’t work that way either.
No blogger is ever in it for the money and every “big” blogger was once small. You have to work SO hard for SO long before you ever see a payout, that it would be utterly ridiculous to ever start a blog for the money. Who in their right mind would take on a full time job for 18 months with no pay, unless it was something they felt compelled to do?
And that’s the point of this and every other blog worth reading – it’s a ministry first and foremost, focused on serving the needs of the people. If a blog earns an income, then great, but that’s God’s doing, not the blogger.
Every blogger is just one small voice in a sea of billions. It is impossible for us to speak loud enough or reach far enough – or post more or FB more or tweet more or pin more – to reach “the numbers” that bloggers are pressured to believe they should have.
But God ensures that ears hear the message they to hear, and whether that’s 10 readers or 10 million, it’s all God’s doing and He deserves the glory.
As for choosing time on work and time with loves ones, you’re right. And I think Erin is setting an excellent example of prioritizing her family over her work. As Christians, we should be commending her for seeing the slippery slop ahead of her, and encouraging her decision to tread lightly, instead of bashing her for sharing this decision with us and being blessed by earning an income by doing something she loves.
Sarah Koontz {Grounded & Surrounded}
Be authentic, focus on your writing, set out to help others, divide your time wisely. Here’s the deal, it is so much easier said than done. I am not near as far along on my blogging journey, but it is so difficult to find a balance. To build a business, yet not get caught up in the business. To do what is necessary to grow your audience without selling out. To create a stream of income without letting the money become your focus. I recently started a secondary “passion blog” with no social media, no marketing, no sidebar…just me…writing what is on my heart. It has taken a bit of time away from my main blog, but it has restored my heart and reminded me of my passions. My words mean something and I want a pace where it’s all about the words. I think the only way to navigate this profession and this life is by daily surrendering to the ONE who we write for. By being willing to go against the flow, saying no to things that don’t fit our vision or our mission. I don’t know where I will end up, and today I don’t care. Because this path I walk is the one I was created to walk, everything else is secondary. Hugs to you Erin, you are setting a great example for bloggers like me who also want to build something for HIS glory and not OUR OWN.
Empire Share
Exceptional web-site.. Empire Share Lots of helpful tips in this article. I’m mailing them to a number of friends ans as well sharing inside delicious. And naturally, thank you so much for your sweat!
Donielle
It’s funny you posted this when you did.
Over the last decade, with babies and health issues, I’ve found myself with a lot of acquaintances. This week I got together with an old friend and realized in those two hours, how much I miss those deep level relationships. And how much I desire to have those friendships where you pour into one another and speak in love and truth.
So I’m starting a small group of moms so that we can get together and create friendships instead of “small talk relationships”.
❤️ Personal growth is so much more important than page views. Even though I tend to stress about the latter way too much. ?
Betsy @ A Mother's Road
Love this! I first started blogging, because I like having a voice on the Internet. I’m definitely not a speaker, but I enjoy writing. I enjoy encouraging others. I love using my blog as a record of where I’ve been and an accountability tool for what I’m working on now. I haven’t really found that many deep relationships through blogging. I can just think of one that I’ve had awhile (Lydia @ the Frugal debt free life). I want anetwork of deep friends too! My in real life friends are in the trenches of being a young mom and don’t really reach out as much as I desire. I will continue to pursue them, but since they don’t embrace the Internet and social media as I do, I’m long for more like minded friends. I don’t know, I think this is something I really need to pray about – what is my purpose for my blog. Why is it worth my time (if it is)?
Katie Bennett
Erin, I LOVE your heart in this post!!! Thank you for not losing sight of what truly matters. The influence God has given you is truly a gift, and He is using it for His glory!