I’m delighted to have Jen from This Gal’s Journey guest posting today on her emotional recovery from her C-section! I am blessed to have Jen as a “real-life” friend–although we haven’t seen each other in 4 years! When we did meet, we hit it off immediately…and blogging has really helped “reconnect” us! Please be sure to pay her site a visit!
Guest Post by Jen of This Gal’s Journey
For as long as I can remember and was aware of what childbirth actually entails, I have wanted a natural delivery experience. The delivery of my first child could not have gone more smoothly. It was a text-book natural delivery, as evidenced by the 4 nursing externs (why they were called externs and not interns I don’t know), 3 extra nurses and 2 medical students my OB called in to observe.
So, imagine my surprise when my second and third babies were both born via emergency c-section!
All throughout my third pregnancy (which took place in Ireland – but that’s a different post for a different day…) I had been planning, preparing, and praying for a VBAC delivery – that is, a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. However, when my water had been broken for 48 hours and I was still barely 1 cm dilated with the baby still at -1 station (WAY high up in my belly) after 6 hours on pitocin, I once again found myself being whisked away for an emergency c-section.
I thought I was prepared for such an event. After all, I knew there was a high chance of the VBAC being unsuccessful, so I had prepared myself mentally and emotionally for another C-section.
However, once I returned home I found myself really grieving the loss of the natural labor/birth experience I had so badly wanted. Having gone through both extremes of experiences (a natural delivery and a C-section delivery) previously, I knew the recovery time after a natural delivery was so much faster. Not to mention the level of mental anxiety, emotional stress, an emergency situation brings upon you and your family (for me, it would be just as mentally and emotionally taxing waiting on a planned C-section date in the case of a breech baby, for example).
So, what do we do when the hope/dream/plan for a natural delivery falls apart? How do we cope with the gamut of emotions? Most posts like this will focus on the fact that if you end up with a healthy baby in your arms at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing. Be thankful for that, etc. And I fully believe that!! No one is more grateful for the safe, healthy arrival of my children than I am.
However, despite the fact that they arrived safe and sound, I was still left reeling with crazy wild emotions I never expected to deal with. So, here is how I have coped with it and I hope you find these ideas helpful as well if you find yourself in a similar situation.
1. Let yourself grieve.
Don’t try to stuff your disappointment down and cover over it with platitudes and fake cheer. If you are sad/disappointed/angry about it, let yourself feel it. Process it. Talk to your husband, doctor, friend, doula, mom, sister, etc. about it. Write about it. Journal. Pray. Cry. Acknowledge how you are feeling, and let yourself walk through that emotion. I have a very good friend (*wink wink*) who was due the same day I was, who delivered just a couple of weeks after I did. She had the most amazing natural labor and delivery. When I read about it I rejoiced for her; and sat and bawled for twenty minutes for me. But after those twenty minutes, I felt some release and was able to move on to the next stage of my emotional recovery.
2. Don’t stay grieving.
Yes, let yourself feel those emotions but try not to set up camp there. Going over your what-if list of things you could have done/said/ate/worn differently 700 times is not going to chance how things went down. Walk through your grief/disappointment/anger; don’t live there. If you need to talk to a counselor to help process what it is that you’re feeling, that’s totally okay!
3. Celebrate the things that went well.
In my case, there was absolutely nothing I could have done differently that would have changed the outcome of my two C-section deliveries. However, I celebrate the fact that I was able to labor for a while during the delivery of my 3rd baby to see how things went, rather than being required a C-section straight away. I DID end up with a healthy baby, and that IS something to celebrate.
4. Give yourself grace.
I hate the terms “failed VBAC,” “failure to progress,” etc. because it makes me feel as though its a label of blame on my part. There was a part of me that felt like a failure because I couldn’t deliver my babies naturally. So much about having a baby – and parenting! – is completely out of our control. Don’t use the method in which your baby came into the world as a means of beating yourself up.
*Note from Erin: Jen’s friend was…me. And, let me tell you, even though she had just been through this traumatic experience, Jen was still such a great cheerleader for me and rejoiced with me as I delivered by second baby–and experienced my first natural birth.*
Have you ever had an unplanned C-section? What helped you deal with the wide range of emotions?
Note from Erin: For help with preparing for a natural childbirth, check out the #1 bestselling online childbirth course, Mama Natural Birth Course. It will empower you to have the natural birth you want…but also helps to prepare you for emergency c-sections and VBACs. You may also like Mama Natural’s FREE introductory video on 8 Keys to a Natural Childbirth.
Jennifer is your typical American wife and mother living life, raising kids, and working, only she’s doing it in Ireland. She has been married to the love of her life, Seth, for 11 years and is extremely blessed to be mom to two delightful girls, and one hilarious little boy. Jennifer passionately loves the Lord, her family, music, dance, writing and chocolate. She writes at this gal’s journey.
Check out the other posts in this series:
- 5 Simple Tips for Combating Morning Sickness
- Reflections on my First Pregnancy
- 10 Reasons We Opted to Give Birth at a Birth Center
- Easing Leg Pain During Pregnancy
- Pregnancy Posts Around the Web
- A Tale of Two Births: Medicated vs. Natural Hospital Births, part 2
- A Tale of Two Births: Medicated vs. Natural Hospital Births, part 1
- How to Achieve a Natural Birth in a Hospital Setting
- Real Food Pregnancy Cheats/Shortcuts
- OB or Midwife: Finding the Birth Provider Who Works for You
- A Comparison of Birth Settings: Home, Hospital and Birth Center
- Resources for a Natural Pregnancy
- 10 Things Never to Say to Pregnant Women
- What Every Pregnant Woman Wants to Hear
- Hyperemesis Gravidarum: Much More than Severe Morning Sickness
- Pregnancy Posts Around the Web, Take 2
- Chiropractic Care During Pregnancy
- Breastfeeding While Pregnant
- Preparing for a Water Birth
- The Importance of Using a Doula
- A Sample Hospital Birth Plan
- Why We Chose NOT to Induce Labor
- 7 Ways to Naturally Induce Labor
- Maintaining Proper Iron Levels During Pregnancy
- 9 Natural Pain Relief Techniques for Labor
*I have included affiliate links in this post.
Joni
I have one child, an only child, born to me when I was 34 and my husband 39. I labored for almost 24 hours and then had a C section because I just could not push any longer. I nursed for only about 3 weeks and chose to go to formula. It did take a long time to recover for a lot of reasons and I suffered from undiagnosed post-partem depression. The first two years were hard. I remember feeling like the ground was rolling underneath my feet and I did not know how to stop it. By God’s grace and mercy we survived and I have been able to encourage other women who had has their birthing/nursing experience not go as planned. Jen’s advice on how to walk through this is excellent. The most important thing I remember from that time was I had to be able to take care of my daughter so I did whatever I needed to take care of myself so I could take care of her. That was part of the process of choosing to use formula. I need to be able to sleep and rest and using formula helped that a bit. My daughter is 22, just graduated from college, is living in TN for a year to help take care of my mom who is in early stages of dementia. I’m thankful for her!
Jen
Hi,Joni!! 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your story! I remember being so shocked that I felt the way I did, particularly after the birth of my son. Sometimes you can’t control emotions of grief any more than we can the way our kiddos enter this world. I am oh so thankful for the technology that allows c-sections to be so safe,because without it neither my younger daughter nor my son would be here today.
Gabrielle
Thanks so much for sharing your story here! It’s great to hear someone share about their experience with c-sections on a natural motherhood sort of blog. Very refreshing!
Erin
I was so thrilled to have Jen guest post! I want every mother interested in natural living here to feel welcomed and respected here!
Jean Vogler
With my first baby, my OB said that in his eyes, a natural delivery meant the baby was being born out of its own mother’s body. It didn’t matter which “end” the baby was coming from. This point of view helped me tremendously when babies 2-4 all had to come via C-section. With my 4th, I was having major anxiety anticipating the surgery, but the hospital staff was TERRIFIC, and everything went smoothly. I think what all moms have to remember is our emotions and hormones go crazy after pregnancy, and we find ourselves grieving and emotional over things that we didn’t think were very important. And they probably weren’t very important, but thanks to our emotions, we can’t forget them. Give yourself “emotional leeway” to feel these things, but also keep things in perspective. 10 or 20 years from now, it won’t matter one bit how you delivered your baby.
Jen
Haha! That’s a great description for “natural”! I, too, was more nervous heading into the 2nd c-section BECAUSE I knew what to expect! Ha! Plus I was in a different country, different policies, procedures, etc. Lots of “new” things even though I had been through it before. Funny how that works! 🙂
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully
I can completely related to this, except that I never had the privilege of experiencing natural childbirth at all. I was very traumatized by the birth of my oldest son via emergency c-section, and then my next doctor wouldn’t even allow me to try a vbac because of the circumstances in the first.
However, the second time was actually kind of better because I was more emotionally prepared.
Jen
I’m so glad the second time around was better for you! I was less traumatized with my first c-section because I had way less time to think about it. It was less than 3 minutes from labor suite to OR in a true emergency situation. Hormones and memories are funny things!
Rebecca
My first child was an emergency csection. I had labored for 30 hours (induced) and then had a csection. He was stuck and it was a difficult delivery. My poor son was the bluest person I have ever seen and I am a nurse! He had to be revived, but I knew he wasn’t right from the beginning. I’m convinced that his delayed csection caused his Asperger’s syndrome and other problems. My recovery was hellish. I could write a book. Emotionally I will never recover from the pain of that delivery and the huge cost to my son – not the mention the years and years of misdiagnosis, and medical bills trying to figure out what was wrong with my kid. My twins, 5 years later, were by planned csection. My OB recommended that I try a VBAC. No way, no how. And my first child was with certified nurse midwives and neonatologists at the best hospital in the state. A lot of good that did me. My son is 15 and as you can see, I am still bitter. I am glad you are doing well.
Hannah
I have three children (my third is a month old now) and all three were born by c-section. My first baby was breech and couldn’t be turned (it wasn’t safe for him or me) so I went from planning a normal birth to having a c-section with no warning. I was bummed (devastated!) at first and the recovery was terrible because I had no preparation and had no idea how to deal with a new baby and my recovery issues. I intended to have a VBAC with my second but about part way through my pregnancy I had a change of heart. I had this overwhelming feeling that it wouldn’t be safe for me to try a VBAC, for me or the baby. I had that inching feeling that my body wasn’t designed for it. I had didn’t have contractions or labor of any kind with my first (0r my second, or third!) I always knew I was built rather small on the inside…maybe it wasn’t meant to be. After some thought and prayer, I came away with the feeling that it was Heavenly Fathers will I(for whatever reason) and I was able to accept that even though the concept is still scary. For me, even though the recovery is painful, I don’t lost precious time with my babies. In fact, it’s almost like I am given extra time because I am laid up and recovering. I have lots of time to cuddle and sing and read to all my children, not just my newborn, and even more time to think and pray. I also have had the gift of being prepared for my last 2 sections because I had forwarning and that helped a lot as well. (I just wrote a blod post about it actually-http://heavenlyhomesforeverfamilies.blogspot.com/2012/08/c-section-essentials.html) Sure, a normal delivery would’ve been nice but knowing the answer I got I can honestly say that I’m thankful that they are here, beautiful, safe and healthy so the way they arrive doesn’t matter to me. I hope others can find the same peace that I have found with my c-sections.
-Hannah
http://heavenlyhomesforeverfamilies.blogspot.com/
p.s. Found you through Growing Home Link Up!
The Happy Wife/Danielle Garcia
2 out my 5 deliveries have been unplanned C-sections. My first (also my 1st birth) was very similar to what Jen just shared, my water broke, but my body never went into labor. I went on to have 3 successful VBACs and then had baby #5 in June. You can read the entire story of his birth on my blog (post is titled A New Baby and was posted July15th). Basically, I got to 8cm and they could no longer pick up his heartbeat, so there was no choice, but to do an emergency C-section. With both surgeries, I grieved, but more so with the first. I was afraid I would never experience a natural birth and I felt like my body had failed me. I have wondered for 11.5 years if I gave in too soon in agreeing to the C-section, but I know that had I not agreed to it, I might not have my beautiful, healthy daughter. This most recent C-section was much easier to deal with, even though I still wished it could have been different. There was no doubt that I would not have my precious son if I had not had the C-section.
Lisa
Thanks for writing this! A friend sent it to me. It will be two years in September since my emergency c-section with my first child — in Peru! We’re missionaries here and let’s just say, things did not go well. I was highly traumatized after it was over and when we got back to the States that December for furlough, I really did get some counseling. I felt robbed of a natural delivery and I had no desire to ever go through it again. It was a horrible, traumatic, scary experience where half the time, my husband (who wasn’t allowed to be with me) thought I was dead. Yeah. It was bad. And I felt like an awful person for not being able to handle it, especially when I was told by my (Peruvian) co-workers, “Oh well, at least it’s over and she’s healthy. It wasn’t really THAT bad, right?” Now I’m 34wks pregnant with #2 and I have no idea how it’s going to end – c-section or natural – as of yet. I’m just trusting that God has His best in mind and I’m just hoping that maybe it can’t get any worse than last time?! All that to say – thanks for validating some of my feelings and helping me still feel like a capable woman even though I didn’t deliver “naturally.”
-Lisa
(the whole birth story is on my blog, on September 4, 2011, entitled “Here it is, Almost One Year Later”)
Jen
Oh man! I’m sorry you had such a traumatic experience!! Something about giving birth – in any form- away from your home culture that escalates everything! I’m so glad your daughter is ok now. And I pray you get to have an easy, uncomplicated birth this time!
Ginger
Thanks so much for sharing. I too have had two c-sections (first and third babies), with number two being a quick unmedicated natural VBAC. My youngest is two and I still grieve over her delivery (water broke at 34 weeks, got to the hospital and found out she was breech). I do truly believe that a c-section was the best option for her, but I am still so disappointed to have missed out on another wonderful birth experience like I had with my VBAC. She has been a healthy baby, breastfed well, etc, but she did have to spend her first few days in the NICU, which makes me feel even more robbed…
I have a good friend who was due a few days after me with number 3 who went on to have a full-term pregnancy and uncomplicated birth. I couldn’t bring myself to even talk about her delivery, and still have a hard time hearing about other friends birth stories.
Thanks for understanding that while a healthy baby is the most important thing, the Mother’s experience matters too.
Jen
I know what you mean. I still have fleeting moments of disappointment that come out of nowhere. But with God’s grace I’ve been able to move on a lot faster than I expected I would.
Christine
I was 30 and 31 when my babies were delivered via c-section for 1. Breech and 2. Failed VBAC and low fetal heartrate. But that was NOT what I had wanted at all. I was barely 19 when I began reading books about midwifery and natural childbirth. I was devestated. After my second c/s, I cried so hard in recovery that they had to give me IV narcotics. However, it matters less, nearly a decade later, than the fact that they are healthy and smart. I also managed to breastfeed them for 14 months each, despite the fact that I worked full time, so I find some comfort in that too.
Jen
Oh, my heart ached for you when I read this comment. That’s exactly how I felt after my second c-section. That’s great that you were able to breadtfeed them for so long!
Barb
I’m a brand new mom, and I really appreciate your post. My first is three months old, and I am still struggling to get over the trauma of my unplanned C-section. I was in labor for 18 hours trying to do things naturally, at the point of transition, when my doctor realized she had missed the fact that my daughter was breech. Even though I was a little bit relieved to be done with the painful labor (and, thankfully, did avoid getting to the point of pushing/tearing), I was so disappointed that my efforts to keep the drugs away from my daughter were fruitless. They kept the screen up so I couldn’t see when she was born, and all I could think was, “I’m missing it.” My physical recovery was far more difficult than I was mentally prepared for.
Everyone says, “Well, at least she’s healthy,” and I am SO grateful for that, but it was kind of a revelation to me to acknowledge how sad I am about what happened. However, I think your advice is spot on – now that I’ve realized what my feelings are, it’s time to stop wallowing and move on. The Lord knew what was going to happen all along, and He didn’t fall off the throne when it did. He is still taking care of us.
On the bright side, I have not had any major problems with nursing, which I was very concerned about. 🙂
Jen
Congratulations!!! I remember so vividly the first year with my first baby. The hardest year of my life – even with the dream delivery experience!! Ha!! I’m glad you are recognizing some of your emotions surrounding your delivery experience and pray you are able to get some closure.
Emma Ashby
Thank you so much for this post. I planned and prayed for a natural childbirth experience with my baby {born August 15th of this year} and after 24 hours of contractions 1-3 minutes apart and at least a minute long each I ended up with an epidural and then after 7 more hours of labor I pushed for two hours before I ended up with a c-section. I did not expect for it to be such a hard and emotional thing for me to look back on. And to know that this grief is normal is such a relief. I am so grateful for my sweet, healthy baby girl but I definitely have cried when I have read other people’s absolutely beautiful natural birth stories and I hope I get to experience that someday! Thank you Jen and Erin for sharing this post!
Sarah
Thank you for posting this and to all the moms that have shared their stories. I had an unplanned c-section at 41 weeks when I never went into labor and we shocked to find out my daughter was breech. We were told by the doctors that she was in position for weeks leading up to her delivery. That was over 3 years ago and to this day I still am sad it ended this way. After reading your post and all the other stories I am amazed that so many other women have the same feelings. I always thought it was crazy that I feel like this and have not completely gotten over it. Read the stories is reassuring to me that I have experienced something that so many other women experienced. Thank you.
Gemma
I have been through six different birth experiences. Three (2, 4 &6) were c-sections. My first birth was a typical hospital birth. I was induced because she was overdue and about to encroach on Thanksgiving. I was forced to let the dr. break my water because I wasn’t progressing. He wouldn’t even let me go to the bathroom first. Because of the pitocin my contractions were incredibly painful and my body’s timing was thrown off. It wanted to push before I was fully dilated and that was actually the worst part. Baby girl was born at 3 am and the dr. apparently wouldn’t get out of bed to come catch so I had to hold off on pushing even longer. We were left alone and I was so afraid the baby was going to fall out onto the floor. Then there was the episiotomy. I felt so beat up afterward I just wanted to sleep and was actually reluctant when asked if I wanted to hold my baby after her bath.
Baby # 2 was also overdue. I went into labor on my own the day before I was to be induced but since there was meconium present when my water broke I had to be tied to the bed by an internal monitor. Labor didn’t go well. Baby was posterior and large and would not progress so at 11pm a c-section was ordered. I was so relieved. What’s really crazy is once the epidural was in I was able to relax so much that I closed my eyes once I was able to lie down on the operating table. The last think I remember was the anesthesiologist saying, “Is she asleep? I hope I didn’t give her too much.” I woke up after my baby was born. I guess he did give me too much. :/ I had to walk funny for months but I didn’t care. To me it was better than an episiotomy. I didn’t even mind that I was kept off work for months because the incision wouldn’t heal properly. It kept opening back up on the surface. Funny thing was the same thing happened to a co-worker’s wife. It wasn’t until a couple of years later and I was still having to hold my stomach whenever I sneezed and felt like something inside me was shifting violently that I began to feel that maybe the c-section had done some damage.
I miscarried my third baby after an encounter with a horrible female OB who was insulted that I wanted to interview her before deciding to hire her. Needless to say, I did *not*. Thankfully, I ended up with an incredibly compassionate male OB when the miscarriage actually happened.
Since I had always been told that VBACs are healthier for moms and babies, when I was pregnant again, I told my next OB- another female recommended to me by a friend who was into natural living- that I wanted a VBAC. The OB acted kinda squirrely whenever I brought up the subject of a VBAC and she made strange comments. When in my 7th or 8th month of pregnancy, she told me that the hospital where I was due to deliver no longer allowed VBACs. I was floored! After asking around, I was referred by another friend to her good friend who was a midwife. The midwife wasn’t sure if she should take me so late but she ended up agreeing to. I was scared to birth at home but this time, I labored in a birth pool with my husband holding me. I got into the most comfortable position I could think of which was on hands and knees. Turns out it was a great position because this baby was also over 9lbs and posterior. After a couple of hours of hard labor, baby boy suddenly spun into the correct position and was born minutes later with his daddy there to catch him. It was hard, it hurt, but we did it. 😀
Following another miscarriage, my next child was stillborn- cord prolapse and some other insanely unbelievable circumstances. We were mistreated at the hospital and actually investigated as if it was our fault. Because it was too late to save him, and my labor had progressed so far, I delivered him vaginally. Strangely enough, it was my easiest labor by far and my physical recovery as far as birth is concerned was amazingly quick.
Believe it or not, my next baby’s cord prolapsed too and on top of that, my placenta partially abrupted so I lost a lot of blood. This time the situation was different. My midwife was allowed to stay with me this time and she kept pressure off the cord and saved my baby girl. I was put under general anesthesia and had a true emergency c-section. I was absolutely elated that my baby survived. I didn’t mind the c-section at all buy my recovery afterward was difficult. I stayed very sensitive at the incision site and had a bit of trouble healing again. Thankfully I remembered all the measures I had to take after the last c-section and was soon healing up the incision fine but my body was just drained. I felt so weak and tired and I couldn’t wear my baby in her carriers because any pressure near the original incision site was extremely uncomfortable. I never did regain my strength back fully.
Time went on and I thought we were probably done having babies but then my youngest grew out of her babyness and we longed for another. We decided to go ahead and try for another baby and were blessed one more time. This time we had moved to another state so I was sad that my midwife could not be involved at all. I’d mention how much I missed her and people would dismiss my feelings, even very caring, close friends and especially family. Aside from having no clue in the difference in care between some midwives and most doctors, I think my extended family secretly blames my midwife and me for my son’s death. They weren’t there. They don’t even ask me what actually happened, they just assume. Those who have heard the details are absolutely shocked at what the medical community got away with. I consider my midwife family. She was the only one trying to save my son. Only she and the doctor at the hospital did their jobs correctly. Anyway, I didn’t realize how much I would grieve the loss of any chance at another natural birth. It took me by surprise since I had always known I would have to schedule a c-section for this baby. I certainly didn’t want to take a chance with my clearly defective body and labor again. As my due date loomed, I got more and more upset about it but I knew I had no other choice. I was actually trembling in the OR on b-day when I went in to get the spinal but the anesthesiologist was amazing. He was very kind and immediately gave me some oxygen and I calmed down. But, the OB was very rough and she scared my husband because as she was opening me up, she jerked and shook the whole operating table diagonally and it had to be pushed back into place. I hated that the OB – another female, what is up with the female OBs?- yanked my baby out roughly by her feet. Baby girl sounded so upset. Then, even though she wasn’t having any problems at all my baby was whisked away. I didn’t get more than a glimpse of her and couldn’t touch her at all. During the surgery, the doctor was griping about the last c-section she had just performed. Apparently the dad nearly fainted and the poor mom was barfing incessantly. The doctor just yammered on about it the whole time. I was stresses out because even though it was my third c-section, it was the first time I was actually conscious during the surgery and the baby was already gone with my husband to the nursery so I had nothing else to focus on.
Thankfully, my baby was brought into recovery in 30 minutes but it was a bit difficult to nurse her because I had to keep my head down after the spinal. I’m so grateful she was hungry and a good nurser while we were in recovery. Another really amazing thing that happened was I didn’t need any pain meds for many hours after the surgery. I just didn’t hurt at all. It was nuts. Finally, one of the nurses insisted that I should probably take some just in case it hit me all of a sudden, so I did. Baby ended up staying in the hospital for several days because of jaundice and our pediatrician had gone on vacation on our second day in. I think he would have let us go home sooner had he been there. Being there longer and the jaundice led to formula, billi lights, pacifiers, time in the nursery for baby and it was all really upsetting to me. After the bottles and pacifier, my baby started clamping down on my nipple really hard while nursing. I tried not to be upset but I was actually mad that my husband wasn’t there for me when I needed him. Of course, he wanted to be home with the other kids. They would have been fine. Our oldest was already an adult by then but I guess he felt guilty leaving her to take care of the other kids and I guess he was right but those postpartum hormones were acting up. I felt completely abandoned and unsupported.
After coming home, my husband didn’t want to help a whole lot and he started to avoid changing diapers. Both things were totally different from how he’d been with all the other kids. The temporary painless state I had been in the first day after the surgery was long gone and everything started to hurt. The baby continued to clamp down on me while nursing, (She still did until very recently when I began taking her to the chiropractor.) she started spitting up more and more. We were soaking wet most of the time and I don’t mean normal newborn baby dampness. I couldn’t sleep at night for months and my body aches just wouldn’t go away. In fact, over 2 years later now, my joints, specifically my hips and shoulders are still very painful. I’m just now beginning to come out of a funk.
I would have really loved to have had a couple more children, but I really don’t think I could survive another c-section.
I love the way the article above was worded. It’s rare to hear from someone who understands. Thank you! So many times, the incredible disappointment is so unexpected. Of course we just want a healthy, live baby. What mother in her right mind doesn’t? It’s hard to feel like I am ungrateful for my living children simply because I express myself about the physical damage my c-sections have done to me. I’m grateful for c-sections. Without them, my last two babies may not have survived, but that shouldn’t mean that I have to stuff the disappointment that things didn’t go better.
Gemma
Oops, that second sentence in the first paragraph should say *2, 5 & 6 were c-sections*.
Gemma
Ugh. It’s late, I’m tired. I thought I had proof-read my post well enough before posting it but apparently not. I’m just going to make a blanket apology for all the typos. Sorry.
Tina
I had a birth plan and hired a Doula. I would not allow my Dr. to induce me but then had no choice when my blood pressure started to climb at 37 weeks. After 15 hours, I was only dilated to 1 cm. My blood pressure was still high so I had to have a C-section. My daughter was born healthy and the surgery went well. No complications and I healed quickly. To my surprise, emotionally I was a wreck. Post-partum anxiety set in. We had done in-vitro to have a child and now she was here. Why in the world would I be in so much emotional pain? I said I would never have another child. The anxiety and depression scared me. It wasn’t me and I wanted my old self back. No one understood why I felt the way I did. I would hear, “You have a healthy child.” Like I would trade a healthy child for a vaginal birth. It was frustrating and heartbreaking. My Dr. said, “C-Section is the way to go. You don’t have to deal with the pelvic floor problems other women deal with.” No one understood. So I had to swallow the feelings and pray they would pass. I found that the more I laughed and found joy in the simple things, the feelings would pass.
Three years later, I found out I was pregnant the old fashion way. We now lived in another state 1000 miles away from our support system of family and friends. Fear and anxiety of another C-section set in. I was determined to enjoy the pregnancy and not be controlled by fear. I prayed for guidance, comfort and peace. I was led to an excellent Dr and some relaxation and breathing techniques. I had to surrender all to God and that got me through. The second C-section was a celebration. The medical staff was wonderful. It was a testament that all that fear does not come from God and that I can have peace if I surrender all to Him.
michelle
I had my daughter by C section (unplanned but AWESOME). It was wonderful. She was healthy, strong and the recovery on me was so easy I would opt for another C Section if the opportunity arose. Wonderful staff and doctor. I would never regret the outcome!