Do you look pregnant even though you aren’t? Are you years past pregnancy but still have a mummy tummy?
If so, you might be dealing with a true medical condition called a diastasis recti. And you are not alone.
A diastasis is a separation of the ab muscles, many times from pregnancy. The result is often a classic mama pooch or mummy tummy.
I’ve known for a long time that I have a diastasis recti, and although it was starting to heal, I’ve gotten lazy over the past year or so and haven’t focused much on healing it.
I stay home a lot, and I have worked at trying to dress to hide the fact that I still look three to four months pregnant–even though my “baby” is almost 2 1/2.
Although I know about my condition, I still struggle with people thinking I am pregnant.
Perhaps the most embarrassing instance of this happened about six months ago.
I was sitting at a table of about eight women at a MOPS meeting. I didn’t know any of them. I was just visiting the group. I was the guest speaker, in fact.
But someone recognized me from years before. She had known me when I had been pregnant with my third.
“I didn’t know you were expecting again!” she excitedly exclaimed.
A pin could have dropped, and everyone would have heard it.
I didn’t know the socially-acceptable way to respond. Clearly, I must have looked so pregnant on that day that she felt no qualms at pointing it out.
After all, isn’t the cardinal rule of embarrassment avoidance to just never, ever ask someone if they are pregnant unless you are 100%, absolutely, positively sure they are?
So I just shook my head. “Oh, I’m not,” I said.
She looked confused.
“You’re not?” she repeated.
“No,” I continued. “I’m not pregnant.”
“Oh…well I thought I saw you somewhere the other day,” she backtracked. “And I thought you were. It must have been someone else! You must have a twin!”
And then the conversation ended, awkwardly. And I got up to speak, making sure that I mentioned that I had a baby at home (even though that baby was almost 2).
The thing is, episodes like this one happen, but they must not happen often enough for me to really care because I’ve known how to heal my diastasis recti for two years now, yet I’ve not worked to complete the healing.
When I hosted a fitness challenge here two years ago, I even posted pictures of my progress!
But something I’ve learned since then is that you can’t just exercise for a few weeks and then stop. In order to have lifelong healing, you have to put in a lifelong effort.
I want to get back on board with healing my diastasis recti this year. I’m tired of looking pregnant.
How I’m hoping for healing my diastasis recti:
1. I am using my membership to Fit2B.
I have had this membership for two years now, but I haven’t been using it very frequently the past six months.
This past summer, I jumped into a super intense workout program. I felt energetic, but it did nothing to heal my core.
In fact, the instructor had never heard of a diastasis recti (although he was very good to give me modified exercises to do when I told him crunches and planks were a big no-no).
I KNOW that the exercises at Fit2B are tummy safe, so I’m going to ease back into exercise using them–and focus on healing my core before losing weight. Hopefully, the two will come hand-in-hand if I am persistent.
A Fit2B membership is $15/month, but they also have a few free videos that can work for you if you cannot afford the monthly fee.
Use coupon code humbledhomemaker to get 30% off of memberships + more in the Fit2B shop! Check out Fit2B’s membership options here.
2. I am wearing my splint.
Oh how I wish I had known about splinting after giving birth to my girls! Not only did I not know about splinting, but I also had never even heard of a diastasis recti until after giving birth to my 3rd child!
A diastasis recti is the separation of the abdominal muscles, and a good splint can pull them back together.
I purchased my splint from The Tummy Team, which offers online rehabilitation courses for those dealing with diastasis recti. Their courses are also on my radar as a possibility for my healing. They are more expensive, but they are also more intense and are more like physical therapy.
3. I am not going to rule out surgery–for one day.
This one might come as a big surprise–especially since I try to strive for the most natural forms of healing possible.
I do not want surgery–at all–but I want to be realistic and admit that, for some people, surgery might be a good solution.
(I would definitely try Fit2B and The Tummy Team first, though!!)
Even though my husband and I are not trying for more children right now, my diastasis is severe enough that a 4th pregnancy could definitely make it worse (especially if I don’t take care of it), resulting in the need for surgery.
I have been reading Belly Lovin’ by Daniele Baethge. She tried many things to heal her diastasis, but, in the end, after giving birth to her 4th child, she had surgery. And she has been very happy with her decision.
(I should note that she used Fit2B to help further strengthen her core after surgery, and The Tummy Team did not exist at the time she had surgery.)
In the book, Daniele also gives simple tips and recipes and natural remedies that are renowned for wound healing.
Do you have a diastasis recti?
An estimated estimated 66 percent of women have a diastasis in their 3rd trimesters of pregnancy. Fifty-three percent have it immediately postpartum, and 36 percent have it at 7 weeks postpartum (and beyond). (source)
A diastasis rectic will not only leave you with a pooched belly, but it can also contribute to back pain and urinary incontinence.
It can also lead to emotional scarring when other repeatedly mistake you for being pregnant.
We do not have to suffer alone!
We have options, ladies. And I’m ready to take that next step in healing my diastasis recti.
Are you?
Use coupon code humbledhomemaker to get 30% off of memberships + more in the Fit2B shop! Check out Fit2B’s membership options here.
Related Posts:
Lose the Baby Weight with Fit2B
Fitness as a Ministry? Yes, with Fit2B!
Recommended Resources:
Fit2B: Use coupon code humbledhomemaker to get 30% off of memberships + more in the Fit2B shop! Check out Fit2B’s membership options here.
Shannon
I have had diastasis recti since my first child (I now have three boys). I am 5ft and 109lbs. I ran marathons, played on sports teams, and ate well I read everything I could find to fix it, and have never done a crunch or sit up since. But it wasn’t until I went to a physical therapist that found out that some of my muscles were too tight in some areas and under developed in a couple others; that’s what was continually pulling and keeping my stomach muscles apart. I am now finally on my way to healing, after 8 years of frustration.
Stephanie S
Good Luck! I went through the Tummy Team last year and was amazed at the results. I had chronic back pain that completely disappeared within 2 weeks and my diastasis was healed up in 7. I highly recommend her program.
Meredith
I too have DR, but it has gotten smaller over the years (although still measures around a 2/2.5). I’ve tried all the programs and some have helped, truly, but many of the popular ones have not. I’m on the fence about splinting. I splinted during pregnancy to help with back pain and immediately postpartum, but I don’t think enough moms realize splinting could inadvertently put pressure on your pelvic floor (not good if you have POP). It’s a delicate balance. Also, there is nothing wrong with contemplating surgery. I’ve reached a point of functional DR, but if I hadn’t, I would have welcomed surgery. If your linea alba can’t generate tension, no amount of exercise will change that. Also, I think a lot of the programs treat the TrA as if it is a magic muscle, but isolating the TrA seems to be a myth. All the muscles work together. Oddly enough, my DR started to get smaller when I started to lift weights (not super heavy, but enough to build strength). Maybe because I stopped obsessing about a specific muscle and instead used my ab muscles to stabilize my body. I don’t know. I don’t want to hypothesizes without clear evidence. I’ve also noticed that all the programs I’ve tried say they have evidence to support their program, but looking through PubMed doesn’t bring up anything. It seems like we are just guessing in the dark at this point. Usually my short hand is now the more confident someone seems their specific program will close a DR, the less confidence I have in the program. Doubt is more intellectually honest at this point. That said, often the DR does get smaller, but I’m not convinced anyone knows the exact mechanism for doing this. If it doesn’t, too often we blame ourselves for not “following through,” when maybe the program just wasn’t going to work for us anyway.
Grammyprepper
I experienced DR with my first pregnancy, the second didn’t help (emergency Csection further weakened my abs). Thirty years later, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will always have that pooch…even though I have finally gotten back to my ‘fighting’ weight…When I think about it, even as a skinny minny teenager, I had a bit of a belly…so I figure genetics played into it as well…At my age, I really don’t care so much anymore…but I do realize the negative effects it can have on my back…so I wonder, at this stage, if the ideas offered would still be useful/helpful, or if I’ve let it go to far…and surgery is not a viable option for me, just won’t do it….
Cheryn
There are people of all ages at Fit2B who have healed their DRs. From young people who’ve never had children to grandmas who had children long ago. I say go for it, never know if you don’t try, right?
Erin
I agree! It’s never too late!
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life
Thank you for sharing so thoroughly about this. I was not very familiar with this issue before but I’m glad to know a little more about it. This is a really helpful resource.
Ashly
Thank you so much for this article! Now I know why I have all three of the before mentioned. I have an upcoming doctors appt to find out what is going on. It has been four years since I delivered my 1st, and only child…and nothing has changed! I am nearly the same weight I was at after delivery, in addition to a host of other problems! Thank you for the insight.
Maggie
I developed a severe enough DR after my third that served to aggravate some already bad posture and tight muscle habits which cause severe back, hip and shoulder pain. I tried massage, physio, acupuncture and IMS (dry needling) for relief and exercise for strength through all three pregnancies and postpartum.
I was seeing some of the top physiotherapists in North America (who happen to live right my neighbourhood!). Diane Lee is a core specialist and it was at her clinic that I finally had to make the decision: live with a not-quite functional DR or surgery. It was a difficult decision because I could manage the pain and instability but would never be able to really be active or pain-free without surgery. So I chose surgery, very prayerfully after we decided not to have more kids (our plan is not always God’s plan, but as of now…)
Anyway, I had surgery 18 months ago. Only a few days after I had it, some of the numbness and pain in my shoulder which I had experienced for months and years disappeared! It has since reappeared but it is my own fault for being very inactive over the last few months. I know that as soon as I start moving and be diligent with my yoga practice (I highly recommend a yoga therapist if you can afford it – it’s like a personal trainer but for yoga) my issues almost melt away. In fact, about 6 months ago my physiotherapist (my third in as many pregnancies – they all have different specialities) who was specifically dealing with pelvic floor issues, declared that I was all good!
I have done a bit of research into Fit2Be and things like the Tupler method, and the reality is that there is a small percentage of women (me included) who just cannot functionally heal a DR. Mine was borderline enough that I chose surgery. One of my physios had a DR the same width but she was able to generate the tension necessary in her midline that she could function properly. Each body is different! I recommend several opinions and assessments before you make your decision.
EM
I am dealing with DR now and it’s quite depressing. Got it after baby #2 was born in March. As a runner/triathlete, I noticed pain low in my pelvis/hips all summer, but I didn’t realize why–of course I was doing crunches & core work all summer to get my strength back :-/ I had no idea…. I was diagnosed with DR at 7 months pp and have been in a splint for 2 months. It has gone from a 3 to a 2. My therapist seems to think planks are ok, so it is interesting to hear you don’t think planks are good. My therapist also wanted me to splint as tightly as possible, but I could feel the added pressure on my pelvic floor and I knew that couldn’t be good (like a string around the middle of a water balloon–my insides were being pushed down). I’m running no more than 5 miles at a time now and my DR actually seems tightest/flattest right after a run (more-so than after doing TA exercises).
Cheryn
Will you be posting updates this time too, Erin? Last time you did it was super motivating to me. My youngest of three girls is just 2 1/2 and my diastasis was recently enlarged due to a super shredding rumba class. Of course it was my own fault, although there was no floor workouts, I still way over did it for my fitness level. I’ve been super discouraged since then and even though I know I need to get back into it, I just can’t seem to find the motivation.
Erin
You are the second person to ask me this today, Cheryn! I am a bit scared, but let me think on it! I don’t think I could ever be brave enough to share pics…my stomach looks horrible! But I will think on it. I could use the accountability too!
Cheryn
I would be too afraid to post pics of my belly as well. Although I do think I will take some for my own motivation. I wanted you to know that I worked out this morning for the first time in months, so thanks!
Erin
I am SO glad to hear you worked out, Cheryn!! I am still thinking on Tummy Time, but I am really enjoying getting back into Fit2B. I am doing short workouts, but I’m telling myself that short it better than nothing, and it’s what I can do right now in this season of life! I did a 15-minute arm/cardio workout before bed last night, and I did a tabata ball workout for about 20 minutes this morning! It was supposed to be a 30-minute workout but my 2-year-old woke up and wanted mama to hold her! LOL Have a great day–and GOOD JOB on working out!!!
Amy B
After I had my second I had been doing lots of crunches and planks to try to get my stomach “back”, but it seemed to get worse! I tried Fit2Be (I think I heard about it here) and it healed my (small) diastasis and my tummy is flatter than before kids! I didn’t think it could be done, and the tummy safe modifications to excercise were a total shift in thinking. I love that I can tighten my core and work on it anytime, without having to get onto the floor 🙂 I wasn’t a big fan of the teaching style/the teacher talking SOOO much, but it was worth listening to get the results!
Erin
Awesome testimonial! Thanks for sharing, Amy!
Rosanna
Please don’t get unnecessary surgery… go to your local library and get a copy of the book “Lose Your Mummy Tummy” and work on your transverse muscles. The exercises are very easy to do and worked to ease my back pain even during a flare up to make it go away. I learned quite a bit from this book and tell everyone about it. Avoid sit ups, twisting and Pilates while it because they make it worse. Take care
Erin
Thanks so much for the input, Rosanna! I hope not to go the surgery route! I have that book and love it!
Terrie McKee
I had my last child 5 years ago this coming April. While I was doing ok with getting rid of my mommy tummy, I had to have a hysterectomy this past May, and then I had massive back surgery in November. The back surgery was a complete success, but they had to access my spine through my stomach, flip me over, and put in 2 plates and 4 screws in my vertebrae in my back. The scar in my abdomen is about 8 inches long. The two surgeries this year has destroyed the muscles in my abdomen. Will these exercises for “mommy tummy” help me?
Erin
Oh my! I think they would, but the Fit2B site would give you more info. Best of luck!
Shannon
I have one myself so I can sympathize. I gave birth to full term twins which meant I went from 5’5 110lbs to 175lbs (the girls were a healthy 7.5lbs and 6.5lbs). All that stretching left me with a hole so big I could put my fist in it! I lost all the baby weight and am back to size 0-2 but I still have that hole and a wrinkly pouch of skin two years later. I wear it proudly and actually posted pics on my website to help other women realize that this type of thing is normal and they shouldn’t feel bad about it. Plus, I figured I might as well laugh at myself. Thanks for sharing this article and I love your website. Cheers.
Erin
Thanks for sharing, Shannon! I’m glad it’s not just me! We moms can bond over stuff like this! LOL
Lenah
So my son is 4.5 and I want to lose weight and yo e up but I am so confused on what to do and hat to not do eating and exercise way, I know to eat clean (unprocessed) maybe palio, but idk, and to exercise, it what kinda safe? I do have money for the fit 2 b log in….and when I look on the ney, there contradicting info on exercise examples, I’m asking you and your community BC you all seem yo know what your talking about, done your research and have had personal progress with this. Any advice is appreciated!!!
Erin
Hi Lenah! I would start with the free Fit2B tummy assessment to see if you even have a diastasis. From there, it should help you to know if you need to focus on tummy-safe exercises to start losing weight or if you can do more strenuous exercises. If you do have a diastasis, doing non-tummy-safe exercises can do more harm than good–even if you are losing weight. For diet-related weight loss, I know a lot have seem great progress with Trim Healthy Mama. I hope that helps!
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Olivia Flanagan
How do you tell the difference between DR and just excessive weight in the stomach area?
Erin
Hi Olivia! If you click to the Fit2B site, they have a free video that will show you how to properly check yourself. You will have a “canyon” or “hole” in your mid-section.
amanda
Have you ever read Wellness Mama? She did a well-researched post on this recently with links to a woman who has exercise programs specialized to mamas with this problem, myself included. Go to her site and just search diastasis recti and you should find it. Sit ups amd typical ab exercises do not heal this problem but can actually make it worse! Be careful!
Erin
Yes, she is a personal friend of mine. 🙂 I told her about Fit2B.
Tracie Delaney
Hi thank you so much for this post. I have battled with mummy tummy for a very long time and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t lose it. I have 10 children and I am now 50. I am hoping its not too late for me.
Many thanks,
Tracie
Jordan Sauer
I am also working through healing my Diastasis Recti. I hope over the years women will be aware of this issue be able to fix sooner. I had no idea what Diastasis was until I was so discouraged one day I just began searching the internet. I came in contact with Sarah E. Duvall, who is a physical therapist. She has created an amazing online program that addresses your core, pelvic floor, back, hips, etc. She also provides many lifestyle tips that have changed my life! I truly hope each woman can find a solution to have a strong healthy body!
Carie
On my 7th pregnancy now. Can it be worked on during pregnancy or do I have to wait until after delivery?
Erin
Congrats! It can actually be helped during pregnancy–especially via The Tummy Team!
Cami Brown
Im very weary about this. I have the mommy tummy for sure. After 6 children and several abdominal surgeries Im afraid this 1) wont help, 2) make things worse. In April of 2019 I shredded the rectis sheath or 6 pack muscles and did severe damage to my muscles. The drs tell me you cannot do anything to correct it. I decided to investigate. It is sad that even Physical Therapist claim to know nothing that will help.
I look like I am 9 months pregnant and my stomach is hard as a rock. Bending over is something rarely done because its uncomfortable and acid reflux kicks in.
Thiings seem to be getting worse and this is very unacceptable to me. Im looking to take my life back into my hands and praying to get better. It looks like the band ordered after 1 of the 4 surgeries in April was a good idea but because of the massive hematoma it caused more problems and was kicked off for a time. The bands referred to here look better as do the splints. It looks promising and I would like to try. Getting the dr on board with this would be a plus. What do you suggest I do to begin with in talking with the dr about something which they say is unfounded?