As the mom of three little girls, we have our fair share of princess play in our house!
I didn’t quite know what to do with the whole princess phase when my firstborn started showing interest in it. I wanted to be intentional with her play. Should I allow it?
After some thought and talks with my husband, we decided it would be a resounding yes.
My girls absolutely love dressing up like princesses, playing with their princess dolls, reading princess books and watching princess movies.
There are lots of life lessons we can use princesses to illustrate to our children, but there are three big reasons why I like my daughters playing princess:
1. It fosters imagination.
Although they haven’t traveled many places yet, I love how dressing up like princesses can be a conduit to my girls “visiting a faraway land” in their little heads. They can invent tea parties with queens and pretend to live in a different time and age–all because they are donning princess garb.
Imagination is a vital skill to learn in the creative process. And I think it will serve them well for a long, long time.
2. It opens up role play.
Through playing princess, my girls can learn social etiquette. They can learn to resolve princess sister squabbles, and they can learn to serve others–even when they “have servants” of their own. (Note: our family does not–but they have seen “servants” in princess movies!)
3. It helps focus on their individuality.
Even at 6, almost 4 and 2, our girls are already showing very distinct personalities. I love how dressing up as princesses can be a little window into their individual spirits.
My oldest likes to wear a princess dress that is flexible enough to let her climb trees. For my middle, the more frilly the better. And my youngest just loves wearing whatever frock her sisters will help her put on.
Disney’s Sleeping Beauty Diamond Edition–Available Now!
Disney’s Sleeping Beauty Diamond Edition recently relased on Blu-ray™ and Digital HD! Our family was able to get a complimentary copy, and I am excited to add it to our collection of princess movies!
This film is one of Disney’s Ultimate Fairy Tales and this is the first time it’s in HD!
You can get a copy on Amazon!
Zan
My oldest, 3 years, absolutely loves playing princesses! Saturday, we went on a Thrift Store hunt to find her some more play dresses….She has been wearing them all weekend!!! Her younger sister, 21 months, now followers in her footsteps and wants to put on a dress, too!
Erin
Fun!
Heather
My question is why was there any hesitation to start with? I don’t advocate pushing any interest on a child but if they find something they love on their own, why stop them? If this was “why I let my boys play princess” or “why I let my kids dress up like teenage role models” I could understand the hesitation.
Sherrie
I am with you, let children be children. Every child should play imaginary roles, it helps them grow in so many ways! My children were princesses and cowboys….woody…..on a reg. basis, and those times are some of there best memories!
Erin
Heather,
Our question did not actually come from gender roles or anything like that. It was just something we considered as we became parents. It was merely a question about some of the lessons and attitudes that some of the movies portray (Mulan’s rebellion, Ariel’s disrespect and disobedience, Tinkerbell’s rule breaking, always needing a prince to save the day, etc.). However, we choose to focus on the positive, and it has opened up great conversations with our kids. They love playing princess and have learned some valuable characteristics such as kindness, charity, bravery and curiosity. It’s a lot of fun, and we love seeing their imaginations.
Paula
Heather, I would say that the hesitation comes from a society that doesn’t want to “force” gender roles. I am not one of these people, but I do know many that would detest letting their daughters grow up playing princess because they do not wish their daughter to play being what they assume is a helpless being awaiting her prince. I love the idea of letting my daughter play dress-up and play with princesses because as of right now her daddy is her prince. She adores him, and he dances with her, takes her out, and showers her with love. She is learning how it is to be treated rightly. I love the idea of her being a princess. She is our princess.
Erin
Paula
We are not those people either. Our question had nothing to do with gender roles, but like you said, I know some who would object on that basis. For us, it more about the lessons and attitudes from some of the movies, but we have focused on the positive lessons and had some great conversations. They love playing princess, and like you said, their daddy is their prince. I love that. It is so special. 🙂
Mandy Tirado
My girls love playing princesses or anything make believe, really. I think it’s great for kids to dress up and try on different roles – maid, servant, bride, princess, mechanic, cop, cook, baby-sitter, Mom, etc. It allows kids to grow their imagination while figuring out in a small way, what interests them/what they might want to do when they’re adults. (Obviously some roles are more realistic than others. You can’t just choose to be a princess.) 😉
When in mixed company, allowing kids to play make believe gently reinforces gender roles as well. Men aren’t to hit women, and women are to respect men. This translates to boys calming down their rough play a bit, and girls learning not to boss boys around or to assert their dominance over them, which can easily hurt male egos and cause small boys to lash out. This type of play, for example, allows princesses to fix up their princess carriages right next to boys who just want to get all greasy under the hood of a car someday. Both can be mechanics, cooks, baby-sitters, teachers, etc and work well together as equals.
It may not have been your intent to relay this, Erin, but your blog post sparked that reminder in me that playing make believe has endless benefits for all ages and both genders. Thanks for a great post! I don’t comment often, but I always enjoy your writing and point of view. 🙂
Erin
Thank you, Mandy–and thanks for sharing your story and thoughts!
Angela
We also wrestled with this a few years ago and became fine with it as well. Girls receive a lot of Barbie’s as gifts and while we don’t usually like how the barbie is dressed, when you have a number of princess dresses in the wardrobe it provides a number of more modest options for dressing up barbies. we see this as one of the biggest assets when the girls are playing with any kind of dolls or praying dress-up.
Erin
I feel the SAME way about Barbie’s! Actually, not to open a can of worms, but we only let our girls play with the princess “Barbie’s.” We do not let them play with regular Barbie dolls b/c of the clothes.
Pat Roderique
What about the clothes? My girls are 29, 37 and 39 now so I’ve been away from Barbie for a looooong time! I remember my favorite Christmas. I was 12 and my sister was 8. Money was VERY tight since Daddy got laid off in the winters still (low man on seniority). Mom must have been up most of the night off and on cos we got weekend suitcases (the cardboard kind) and they were FULL of everything from wedding gowns to jeans. Mom had even made some fancy nightgowns with matching robes etc. Is Barbie becoming risque in my old age??
Emily
I never pushed my daughter to like princesses, it came pretty naturally after a few visits to Disneyland (we lived nearby for a few years) and watching a few Disney movies. There are many worse things they could be doing than dressing up like princesses and dancing around the room and singing. The boys dress up too sometimes and they play and create all kinds of fun stories together. I think it’s a great, family fun activity. All the fuss about princesses being bad is just people overanalyzing I think haha I can’t wait for sleeping beauty to come out!
Erin
Same with my girls–it was very natural!
Heather @ My Overflowing Cup
While I don’t have girls, or princesses in my home, I can see why you had to think about allowing them to do this due to the criticisms of others. This reminds me of when my son (at 3 years old) saw me painting my toes neon green (don’t ask!). He was a huge Buzz Lightyear fan (wore the costume constantly), and wanted his toes and fingernails green. At first, my husband was a little concerned about our son dressing up in costumes and wanting his nails painted. We discussed it and came to the same conclusions you did. I can assure you that by the time he was 5 or 6, he was no longer dressing up as Buzz or asking to have his nails painted. Kids are young, innocent, and imaginative. They don’t have the understanding of the social implications that we do, so I say let them be kids. They will be adults soon enough. Thanks for the post, Erin!
Erin
Thanks for sharing that story, Heather! I cannot imagine having boys! LOL I am sure we would have something like that happen too!
Roz @ Real Food Family
As a homeschooling mama of 3 girls, I know how it feels to want to be intentional about EVERYTHING- even play. But I’ve realized that letting the kids be totally free to play IS intentional. You couldn’t be more right with your points. 🙂 Do your girls ever get mad when you watch them play? I’ll sneak in and listen from behind the door or something but if they catch me they get all upset…”MOM! Don’t listen to us!! We’re playing.” I’ll tell them I’m not listening, I’m doing my work…but I am listening. I love their imaginations. And when they’re playing their favorite game, “Mom and kid”, I get to see how they view me as a mom by how they play “mom”. Ahhh….raising girls is so fun…and dramatic. 🙂