While you’re waiting for your baby to come, there are several things you can do to prepare for breastfeeding so that you can establish a good nursing relationship early on!
This post is part of the Breast-Kept Secrets: Breastfeeding Advice from One Mom to Another series.
When new expectant mothers find out how passionate I am about breastfeeding, I’m often asked how they can prepare for it during pregnancy.
There are several key things you can do to prepare for breastfeeding–even before your baby arrives!
1. Seek out experienced breastfeeding moms.
Ask these moms for their best breastfeeding wisdom. I strongly believe the best breastfeeding advice often comes among friends!
When I began breastfeeding Little Girl 5 years ago, I was blessed with a handful of mom friends who were a few steps ahead. I asked them lots of questions. It was especially helpful to have this group of friends to go to after my baby arrived as well.
In those early days of breastfeeding, there might be times when you feel like giving up. Having a support system in place beforehand is HUGE. When you run into a problem, or just need encouragement, you’ll have other friends to talk to.
If you don’t have any friends who have breastfed, seek out “friends” in an online breastfeeding forum, such as through your local Mommies Network, Baby Center or Diaper Swappers. Many fellow moms are willing to help, but you may need to reach out to them first!
2. Read, Read, Read!
During your pregnancy, I suggest reading up more on the birth itself (more about that in #3!) than on breastfeeding, but skimming the chapters on the early days of breastfeeding from one of the following books will help:
Save the more intense reading until after the baby arrives.
I kept The Nursing Mother’s Companion in my nursing station during Little Girl’s first few months, and I did the same with The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding when Toddler Girl was a newborn. It wasn’t until I was breastfeeding my third that I spent the early days not reading a breastfeeding book! (At that point it was hard to even sit down and breastfeed with two other kids 4 and under–much less read! 😉 )
Excellent websites to peruse include Breastfeeding USA, La Leche League and Kelly Mom.
Image by sundaykofax
3. Prepare for a natural birth.
Not everyone desires a natural birth, but coming from someone who has experienced both a pitocin-“augmented,” epidural birth and two natural births, natural is the way to go–especially when it comes to breastfeeding.
It took five days for my milk to come in after my highly-medicated birth. My milk had already arrived by the time I left the hospital after my natural birth with my second daughter. And I believe it arrived no later than the third day with my third baby.
Part of the reason why I think it took so long for my milk to arrive the first time was because my baby was so sedated from the drugs that we kept having to wake her to nurse…and then she would easily fall asleep at the breast. I had to keep making her suck to stimulate milk production.
Here are 9 must-do tips to prepare for a natural birth.
Image by USDAgov
4. Meet with a lactation consultant.
Most women do not meet with lactation consultants until after their babies are born. Why not seek one out before delivery? When I was expecting my first baby, I was blessed with a great friend who is a former lactation consultant. She gave me a few pointers before the birth (we actually went out to lunch, and I took notes!!)–and she was there when I called crying over spilled my lack of milk after the delivery.
Alternately, you can see out a Breastfeeding USA counselor, a WIC peer breastfeeding counselor or a La Leche League leader.
5. Find a breastfeeding buddy.
Whether it be online or in person, try to find a friend who is due close to your due date and who wants to breastfeed. My first breastfeeding buddy was Lexie, who now owns Lexie: Naturals. (It’s been so cool to watch the two of us start our natural living journeys together and her start her skincare company and me start this blog!)
Lexie and I both went back to work as teachers after our babies were born, and we would text each other encouraging notes as we pumped!
If you do all (or even just a couple!) of these things, you’ll be well on your way to a successful nursing relationship with your new baby! Although there is a learning curve when you first get started, breastfeeding is a beautiful and thing. Try it, and stick with it!
Renee Coley
Definitely talk to other moms with (positive) BFing experience! You just don’t know until you get there. I had a nurse friend who would talk to new mom’s about BFing and when they asked if she had ever done it and she said no they pretty much said “You have no idea then.” And she didn’t. After their first child was born she said she has a whole new understanding now! It was also the single piece of advice from my sister (mom of 9) that kept me going. She said “It’s going to hurt. A lot. It will likely last a couple of weeks. It’s OK. It will get better, just keep going.” And she was right! It did hurt. It was toe curling pain. We did have some latch issues in the beginning, but after that it was just my body getting used to it. Some books say that if it hurts you’re not doing it right, but I totally disagree. I have had 4 children and BFed them all and each time it has hurt. Not nearly as much as the first, but it was never pain free.
Erin
Yes–it hurt me as well! And it always hurts for about 2 weeks for me, too. That was a surprise for me with baby #2 and baby #3. I figured it wouldn’t hurt after the first–but it does!
Janet
I look forward to reading more about this subject on your site. I have varying degrees of success with breastfeeding, the last one ending, tearfully, at 8 weeks.
I have breastfed quite a few of my children and have yet to have a chubby breastfed baby.
This is despite reading, researching, making sure my baby’s latch is correct, taking supplements… you name it, I’ve tried it.
Blessings,
Janet…mamachildress
Erin
None of my breastfed babies have been chubby! I think it’s a myth that breastfed babies are chubby. I think the charts are actually based on formula-fed babies, but I need to research it more. So glad to have you on board! Be encouraged!
Cheryn
Two of my breastfed babies were fatties. My first was the pitocin-induced baby who struggled to feed in the early weeks as you mentioned and she was very skinny. The next baby was born (naturally, at home) only 2oz off 10lbs so she was fat from the beginning, but baby #3 was only 7.8lbs, and she quickly gained a lot to become super chubby. I should add that exclusively breastfed and rarely even pumped and gave bottles of breast milk.
Erin
Wow! Your 2nd was a chunk!! My 3rd ended up being my biggest at birth.
Nikki
Great advice! I shared this post on my facebook page today. ( :
I always encourage pregnant mamas to read up on breastfeeding before the baby arrives. That way, they’re less likely to get into trouble when they’re in that newborn phase. And I try to tell them important stuff like your milk will take a few days to come in, and baby will be fine on colostrum until then; keep the baby with you as much as possible, and nurse as often and for as long as the baby wants; etc. You know, things that people in the hospital tend to get completely backwards! So many new mamas get told that their baby is not getting enough milk on day 1 or 2, and they should give formula. Or they’re told that if their baby nurses for longer than 20 minutes or more than every 3 hours, they’re not making enough milk…ugh, I could go on! So my first recommendation is to READ and LEARN before the baby gets here!! But like you said, its only necessary to read the stuff that pertains to newborns; once the baby arrives, you’ll have plenty of time to read the next chapters! I remember when my little one was born she liked to nurse for almost an hour every 2-3 hours, so I spent a LOT of time on the couch just reading. ( :
Erin
Great advice! Thanks for sharing the post! 🙂
April
My advice:
• Over-educate yourself.
• Talk to your doctor about your medical history. Try to identify what BF’ing issues you may encounter BEFORE your baby arrives, so that you’ll know how to handle them if they do happen.
I spent so much time preparing for my natural birth with my first baby (12 weeks old this week), that I didn’t prep as much as I could have for BF’ing. I took two classes, did some reading, but had no idea about everything that could go wrong, everything to watch for in those first weeks that would tell me there is a deeper issue. All I kept reading was that it’s so “rare” for a woman to not be able to produce milk for her child, that it never occurred to me that I could be one of those women! As a result, I didn’t know what to do to fix the problems as they arose.
Baby had no interest in latching when he was placed on my chest (after my completely unmedicated natural birth). He only wanted to look into my eyes and make sweet little noises. He didn’t latch one time during my stay at the hospital despite assistance from the LC and my efforts. He lost more than 11% of his weight before the end of week 1 so his ped. has us start supplementing formula on day 5 of his life. How could I say no? I didn’t want to, and gave him as little formula as possible, continuing to BF, but he kept losing weight. At a point, you look at your screaming baby and KNOW that he has to eat!
I spent the first 4 weeks being counseled by the hospital’s LC. I had appointments with non-hospital LC’s. I expressed concern to my doctors but was ultimately told “formula is fine, BF’ing just doesn’t work for some women”. I have watched more videos on You Tube and read more descriptions about how to get your baby to latch and what to do if they aren’t, than I can count. We’ve spent so many hours trying to get him to latch properly, yet he still doesn’t, causing me pain and his inability to transfer milk properly. He falls asleep at the breast every time, and quickly. In those early days I would have to wake him every time to nurse, and struggled to keep him awake. I’ve had his mouth checked by his ped. and an IBCLC (he has no problems). I have tried every supplement in the book (both herbal and dietary). I’ve adjusted my thyroid meds. I’ve done acupuncture for the past 6 weeks. I’ve done countless hours of research on what I can do differently, and why my body just doesn’t seem to work.
My milk never really came in. At this point I can provide him about 5 oz. of BM a day by bottle (this is the max that I’ve reached). I pump and pump and pump, do constant compressions to get anything to come out, and hand express after each pumping, and still very little comes. What does come is on my right side only.
It’s discouraging, but I haven’t given up yet. I go back to work this week, and plan to continue pumping as long as I feasibly can, so that I can provide my baby at least one meal per day (that is not formula). It hurts to not be able to provide as much BM for my baby as I know I should be able to. It hurts to see other moms who have no difficulties, who get to experience a “normal” breast-feeding relationship with their child. That is part of mothering that I do not get to experience, and there seems to be no answer as to why. And it hurts to read articles and comments by BF’ing advocates that focus on how bad formula is, and how if only I tried harder I should be able to provide for my child. I’m not sure how much harder I can try.
However, my hopes are held high for a different experience next time around. I’ve already started a list of what to do differently when we have baby number two. I did everything that “they” told me to with this child, yet still feel as though I did everything wrong. I know I’m still a good mother, and that my baby will be healthy regardless of the fact that he’s on formula (I keep trying to get him on all organic, but he doesn’t digest it properly), but it’s still tough to get past the fact that breast-feeding my first born hasn’t worked.
My wish is that there would be more information readily available in prenatal BF’ing education about what *can* go wrong, and what signs you need to watch for in the first weeks that would tell you something may not be right, and what to do to correct the problems. I feel like if I had been aware of some of the things that could go wrong, maybe things could have been different for us. Not to focus on the negatives, but to be aware and educated about the WHOLE picture.
Rebecca
Thanks for sharing your story! It’s so easy to take for granted when you are able to BF successfully. So important to educate yourself when pregnant….It sounds like your a great mom doing an awesome job with your baby 🙂
Erin
Wow! I am so sorry you’ve had such a rough time! It sounds like you are doing everything possible and are am amazing mama! How old is your little one right now? I am probably about to go on thyroid meds. (I haven’t posted about it yet, but I have a goiter…second one…I was previously on Armour.)
I have a friend who even went on the medicine adoptive moms are given to lactate, and she still couldn’t produce milk. I agree that there may sometimes be an underlying medical issue with the mom!
Prayers for you to have an encouraging day!
April
Thank you both!
Our son will be 13 weeks on Monday. We only this week stopped trying to nurse, and he’s only getting pumped milk for his first meal of the day. Nursing leaves us both frustrated and exhausted every time, so I finally decided now is the time (since I’m going back to work tomorrow anyway). Hopefully I can at least keep pumping 5oz a day for the next several months. Every drop counts.
My thyroid was previously under-active, and after birth, has gone over-active! I knew it wasn’t normal to have so much energy post birth! (I did do placenta encapsulation tho, and I really think that helped!) I’m currently on Armour, and have been for a few years. I was previously on Levothyroxine. Did you have the goiters before or after being on Armour?
That’s crazy that even the meds wouldn’t help your friend’s production! It’s so discouraging in those first weeks when you just keep reading that it’s so “rare” for women to not be able to produce for their children, and that you should be making XX oz. per day, and then you don’t… There was a lot of stress and tears trying to come to terms with the fact that for some reason, my body just doesn’t work like it “should”. The medication was the one thing I didn’t try. I was so determined prior to having this baby that we could do it. But, God has a plan for us, and somehow this experience plays into the whole thing. So I just have to trust that everything will turn out alright. 🙂
Aleesha
I made PLENTY of milk for my 1st 3 kids, but when baby #4 was born she just couldn’t ever really latch properly. I would cry everytime I had to nurse because it was so painful and eventually went to exclusively pumping and feeding her my milk. I say exclusively because that’s all I did…ALL DAY LONG! eventually we discovered a slight tongue tie which was HER specific issue- but it was more than that. She just couldn’t get that “suck, swallow, breathe” pattern going. Anyway At 5 weeks old we reintroduced nursing and she did really great but I never made enough milk. I tried really hard to only nurse and did all the supplements and worked hard with a lactation consultant. But eventually when she just wasn’t gaining weight I started supplementing. I just don’t think she sucked right- If that makes any sense at all- so it didn’t cause me to make enough milk. My point is that it could have been your BABY and not YOU. People always say babies just know how to nurse, and usually they do! But not always. My daughter struggled with a bottle as well. I think it was a neurological issue. So don’t be afraid to try again!
Rebecca
I agree with educating yourself when pregnant. Also, surrounding yourself as much BF’ing support as you can. Friends, family, online forums… It’s hard to do it without support! I had an all-natural hospital birth with my 1st. He latched on right away, and nursed well that first time. But the next week was quite rocky. He was very jaundiced and was under the lights a lot for almost 4 days. He because quite sleepy and wouldn’t latch, or when he would try, got very frustrated. The LC at the hospital helped me out by providing me with a pump, and we fed him with a syringe and our finger the first few days. Once we got home and I had a chance to practice, practice, and his jaundice improved, things began to look up. I remember taking him home and thinking, “What did I get myself into? I can’t even feed this baby!” But all worked out well and I nursed him exclusively for nearly 6 months, and we weaned at 16 months. He was never chubby, but a healthy weight and seemed well fed.
With my 2nd, nursing has been so much easier than the first time! I had a homebirth, which really helped facilitate a natural birth and post birth bonding experience. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if we have more children! Baby #2 was born with a strong latch and hasn’t stopped yet 🙂 My milk came in on Day 2 because he was nursing so frequently and hard. It hurt to nurse with baby #2 but not as long. I have ample milk and an overactive letdown with this one, so we’ve had to work through a few gas issues related to that…. other than that, I am SO thankful for how things have gone with this baby! He’s big, chubby, happy and well fed and I thank the Lord for allowing me to exclusively nurse him.
Rebecca
Just to add: I don’t think every first time mama realizes just how often she will have to nurse her baby the first 8 weeks or so (even if she has ample milk)! I know I didn’t, but it helped to have the mindset of going with the flow and not scheduling baby at all early on. You establish your milk supply the first 2 months or so, and after that, it is much harder to get your milk up if it has diminished. With this one, I have always pumped a couple of times a day in between feedings, to get a freezer supply, and to keep my milk supply exceeding demands. If that is possible physically, I think it’s a good idea.
Erin
Yes, I think nursing on demand is so important those first few months!!
Erin
I’m so thankful for your second experience! I’ve been so grateful for lactation consultants as well!
Sonja Campbell
I have 3 children. I tried to breastfeed 2. My youngest I pumped and breastfed/formula fed her for 2 months. Now she is exclusively on formula. I was devastated. I didn’t know until baby #3 that your milk doesn’t usually come in until 3-7 days after your baby is born. Or that the baby can be fine with just the colostrum for a few days. I had trouble with getting them to latch on. I don’t have much nipple to work with and large areolas(sorry for tmi). Tried to use the nipple shields, but no luck. Any advice for me for my future pregnancies? It would be a dream come true if I could solely nurse my next baby. Or is it possible that some women just cannot nurse?
Daniela
Definitely talk to other moms with experience and at the same time get in touch about yourself and try different things. What’s good for one mom, doesn’t mean is good for all moms.
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