I will never forget the day my mom told me she had cancer. I hope our story can encourage others going through a cancer diagnosis as well.
I was 17, and any “trials” I had experienced were wrapped around getting a “B” on a test or being dumped by my high school boyfriend.
That all changed the day my mom called me over to the couch in the living room–a room rarely used in our home, a room reserved for formal occasions like entertaining out-of-town guests during the holidays. For some reason, she chose this room for this life-altering conversation.
“Erin, come here for a minute,” she said. “I want to show you something.”
She pulled down her pants and showed me a swollen gland just below her waistline.
She didn’t mention the word “cancer,” but I knew. I knew before she even told me.
“I wanted to tell you that the doctor is going to check out this little place. It feels like a marble under my skin, see?”
She reached for my hand and pulled me over to her. I shuddered. I didn’t know much about cancer, but I knew enough that a lump under the skin could equal a tumor, and a tumor could equal cancer. I was scared.
The next week, my mother began exploratory procedures, and by the week after that the doctors had found cancer.
I was scheduled to leave on my first-ever international mission trip–to Scotland. Casting my fears aside, I had spent the better part of that year saving all my waitressing tips and paycheck and fundraising for the trip. I was to leave the next week.
Sitting in church that Sunday, our pastor said the words I had been refusing to voice aloud: “Becky Boyd has cancer–ovarian. She will undergo a full hysterectomy next week, and she will begin six months of chemotherapy after her recovery.”
The world around me began to spin, and goosebumps covered my arms. This can’t be true, I told myself. “Is what he’s saying true?” I whispered to my sister.
My parents had not yet confirmed my fears. With my upcoming trip, they didn’t want to worry me, or give me reason to back out. My sister and brother had overheard my parents talking, but they had kept things a secret as well. I was the only one who didn’t know.
When corporate prayer began, we stood as a family and walked down the aisle to the altar, kneeling to cry out to the Lord together.
Some would call it irony, but I now look at this next fact as providential: My mom’s surgery was scheduled for the day I was flying out of the country.
My parents drove me to the airport, walked me to the gate in pre-9/11 fashion, and my teenage-brain had convinced myself that, as I was hugging my mother, I was saying goodbye forever.
I choked on my sobs and bordered on hysterical as my dad and youth pastor pried me away from her.
That day gave me the chance to experience God’s presence more than ever before.
As I took my seat on the plane, I began talking to an elderly woman on my right. I don’t remember her name or where she was from, but I still reflect on her white curly hair, warm smile, and kind words.
I explained why I was crying, but within minutes my tears subsided and I was enveloped in an unexplainable peace.
“This is so strange,” I told her. “My mother is being wheeled into an operating room right now, and I am headed for a foreign country, but I feel absolute peace. I shouldn’t feel peace at all right now, but I do. Is this God’s peace that passes all understanding?”
She prayed with me, read Scripture with me, and offered her companionship during the flight.
(For all I know, that lady might have been an angel entertaining me while I remained unaware. This thought didn’t hit me until I was writing this post–18 years and over half my life after the fact.)
Thankfully, my mom beat her cancer diagnosis then as well as four years later when it returned.
We praise God for healing her and for all He taught our family during that time.
Although I do not obsess about it, I must be transparent in telling you that cancer is often at the forefront of my mind. I don’t believe the Lord wants us to worry unnecessarily, but I also don’t think it’s wise to bury our heads in the sand when it comes to cancer.
With cancer affecting 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women in their lifetimes, it’s important to educate ourselves on preventative measures and the latest research on cancer treatments.
When my mother was diagnosed with it in the late 1990s, I didn’t know many people who had been through what we were going through. Today, I cannot count the number of friends who have had someone in their immediate family go through the disease.
Last fall, I watched the 9-part The Truth About Cancer, which I believe may well be one of the most important documentaries I have ever seen.
I am excited to share that the first two episodes are free! You can watch them here.
Over 100 doctors, researchers, scientists and survivors have come together and agreed to tell their stories on camera for the very first time.
The results are nothing short of breathtaking.
I urge you, if you’ve been affected or had a loved one affected by the scourge of this modern day plague, you need to know what’s not only possible… but what’s actually working in the field to lower and even eliminate your risk.
For more information about The Truth About Cancer, click here.
Keelie Reason
How hard for you. My dad has had cancer removed twice. The last time, he went through a few months of chemo. When he was diagnosed with the first bit of cancer, they found that he had a major aneurysm waiting to explode at any moment that could have killed him. They were able to remove it also. The truth is, him having cancer likely saved his life, because that aneurysm wouldn’t have ever been detected if they hadn’t found the cancer. There can be times when you are thankful for cancer.
I’m so glad that you felt that peace that day. It can be so scary to learn of any diagnosis like that.
Mary Beth Boger
My husbands family has lost so many to cancer…frankly, I am sick and tired of it! It does seem that everyone knows someone with cancer these days. So very heartbreaking. I am interested in learning as much as possible to be pro-active and prevent this saga that has been played over and over again in this family. I am looking forward to the series this week. Thanks for letting us know about it!
K. Ann Guinn
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably, Erin! I read the email about your “take” on cancer, then came back to read this post. I have a very similar outlook when it comes to this terrible disease.
My mom also had cancer (although only once), and it was back when chemo was even nastier than it is today (made her totally nauseous and sick afterwards), and left her with sad side effects (damaged veins, for one, as it was before they put in “ports”)…..but like you, I THANK GOD for this medicine and the caring and knowledgeable doctors put in her life. I am SO THANKFUL to say that she has been cancer-free for over 25 years, and is now in her early seventies!
One small blessing to show how God cares was that the lump on her neck “just happened” to be removed (for biopsy), by a plastic surgeon, leaving her with no apparent scar on her neck. Sometimes God’s blessings come in small packages.
My younger sister’s first husband also had Hodgkin’s disease (cancer), they went through the first four years of married life with the ups and downs in his health (including a bone marrow transplant), but he eventually went home “early” to be with the Lord, at the age of twenty-five.
God is faithful and does answer prayer, but you’re right that we must research and do our best, trust God and decide what course of treatment HE wants us to take, but then it’s up to him. Those well-meaning people who make statements indicating that either conventional medicine or “natural” remedies (including perhaps “not doing enough”), were the cause of the disease or death, are making false judgements that simply bring hurt or guilt. We need to be people of prayer and encouragement; it’s not our job to judge others going through a crisis.
Thank-you for these balanced, both faith and grace-filled posts.