Yeah–that’s me–pretty make-up-less–except for the smudged mascara that I had a really hard time putting on!
This past weekend, I spent my entire Saturday half blind.
My family had spent Friday night in a hotel with my parents for a family reunion of sorts to celebrate my grandfather’s 90th birthday.
I left my contact lens case in the car.
So I used two hotel cups to store them in overnight.
On Saturday morning, the cup holding my left contact lens was gone.
As I bent down to rummage through the trash, the reality of spending the entire day two hours away from home, with no open optometrist office in sight (quite literally), began to sink in.
I felt half blind. And so I was.
Oh, I could close my left eye or place my hand over it like a patch. This enabled me to see a semblance of reality.
But my lack of vision caused me to bump into my aunt, mistake a chicken breast for a thigh and not even recognize my own children unless they were close.
And then it hit me: The way I saw the world on Saturday is how you see my life–and the lives of bloggers and other writers–every single day.
We open up our lives to you–at least a bit. We give you tutorials and recipes and tips on how to make things work when you’re a stay-at-home mom who can barely afford it.
But what you often see is a picture-perfect view of a pseudo world that may or may not look anything like you may imagine on the other side of the computer screen.
I try really, really hard to be transparent, to be vulnerable, to be real…to show you I’ve been humbled.
But you’re half blind to my life, so you don’t always see that.
So let me open your eyes:
The above picture is what my husband and I have affectionately deemed the “dirty clothes closet.” Ok, so, “affectionately” may be a bit strong for this.
Jokingly is more like it. Except that the joke isn’t quite funny any more.
You know that book that I wrote? Well, in order to get it written in the manner in which I did (i.e. FAST), my laundry suffered–big time.
I’m still catching up.
When I and other bloggers post pictures of our diapers hanging on the line, you don’t see that just beyond us is {sometimes} a mountain of dirty clothes.
See those two computers above? This was my lap–the night before my book came out. I had burned my computer up so much that it was running too slow to do much on it. So out came hubby’s computer, so I could finish what I needed to have all the giveaways, launch party and book itself ready to roll.
I stayed up that night until 4:00 a.m.
(I don’t recommend that–ever!)
See that baby in the picture? She’s mine. Isn’t she absolutely adorable? This was the very last time she slept in her bassinet–in our bathroom. We live in a two bedroom house, and there just isn’t space for her anywhere else.
She turned 7 months last week, and after I took this picture I cried because I knew it was time to transition from the bassinet to the pack ‘n play, where she will stay for a few more months until we move her into her crib in the room she will share with her two older sisters.
Reality is that we simply don’t have the space that some families do. But we are OK with that. The other morning, I woke up to her calling for “mama” from across the room in her new-found pack ‘n play of a bed. It melted my heart.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Carol Noren Johnson
Love this post. I blog about my messes also, and am going through the book “The House That Cleans” Itself on my blog and show messes and successes. Since I want God to get the glory, I do not have to.
I try to be honest, but also to not give clues to the identity of my husband because then people in the blogosphere might find your actual address and that might be a security problem.
Stacy @Stacy Makes Cents
🙂 I love you.
Lori
I am glad you shared this. Although most of us readers know that most bloggers who try to put on good outward appearances don’t live the perfect life they try to convey.
Janet U
We lived in a 2 bedroom condo with 3 children and then a 3 bedroom house with 6 children when we were in California. The first 3 bedroom only had one bathroom and it was small! The second had 2 and a half and that felt like a dream. We were finally blessed to move to Colorado where housing is more reasonable.
Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
Yes, yes, and yes. I have folks ask me how I do it. The answer is….I don’t. I didn’t “do it” before and I don’t “do it” now. I’m decluttering slowly and my kitchen and dining room are a total mess b/c I missed a deadline to make a recipe for a project so now I have to rush like crazy to get a Chocolate Tart w/ Dairy Free Whipped Cream done. Yikes!!! I’m glad you have that closet. Makes me feel better about myself :).
beth@redandhoney
You rock, mama. The fact that you keep going day after day just doing your best is altogether admirable and inspiring. Who cares if you have messy closets and are more behind on laundry – it just means you’re human, and WAY more relatable than those bloggers that never seem to lack a perfect solution for anything. Sometimes we just can’t do it all – the real trick is being ok with that!
Jessica B.
Thank you, Erin. We, too, have had our babies in pack and plays up to 10-ish months, before we could afford a crib and then carve out a space for it. And, this may sound silly, but I came to really relish our small space before God saw fit to move us to Georgia. We spent a lot of time together because we had to, but it became something beautiful – now we love to be together. We’re currently renting a house 2 1/2 times the size of our old house, but are generally all in the same area of it because our small house trained us to be close together – and like it! 😀
God bless and thank you for your healthy transparency!
Britney Mills
I think this is awesome….I love to see the real side of people because I know they are just like me; sometimes too tired to get to some things after getting to others. I would rather hear a mixture of the good and the bad stories than to think that someone does nothing but perfection all the time. Thanks for this reminder.
Heather T.
Great post, some people do make their lives seem so put together that it seems they are super human so its great to know that not everything gets done and some things aren’t perfect. I know what you mean about the living in small quarters is like, we have 3 sons and a 10 month old daughter, they all for now share the same room, until we figure something out, we live in a small 2 bedroom home.
Kate
Ah! I just posted about how I always feel like a screw up compared to other bloggers out there! Thank you for sharing some not so perfect parts of your life! I love the baby in the bathroom 🙂
We are in the same boat- 2 bedroom house with 1 kid and one on the way. We are trying to decide what to do, as kid 1 will be 7 years old when the baby is born. We aren’t sure if that’s too big an age difference to share a room.
Anyway, thanks for sharing again!
Kate
Beth
Oh the chaos that is parenthood. I live alone with my wee one and my 80 pound dog, in a small two bedroom house. Sometimes, it is way too little room. We co-sleep, because a crib would overflow her room, which is already overflowing with her clothes. We have NO storage space, so I make do the best I can…..but the livingroom is rarely spotless. I have never been an OCD cleaner, but sometimes, I feel bad and try to get everything done, but with an infant and working full time, I like my time with daughter, so a lot gets put on hold.
AineMistig
I think its easy to see things half-blind. If there are bloggers who try to make themselves seem perfect, they aren’t any I read. I know you’re human and trying to be transparent.
I don’t think the phenomenon you’re describing is singular to blogging; I think it happens on facebook too!
I think it is unfortunately too common of a nature for people (or is that just women?) to see the worst in themselves and the best in others. Even if another person isn’t perfect, we imagine they are somehow doing “better” than us because of X, while at the same time that person is thinking we’re doing “better” because of Y.
And, yes, I’m one of those people who do that. I appreciate your effort to make us feel better about our own messes!
(and if it makes you feel better, we’ve got a laundry closet, a laundry hallway, a laundry corner….)
Caroline @ The Modest Mom Blog
I loved this post as well! Our youngest sleeps in a pack n play bed as well, she has never had the lovely experience of the crib with the cute crib set. 🙂 I have laundry that is always piled high…..it is true that our online readers only see part of our lives…
alyssaz
Yes! When I read other blogs it seems as if they have every little thing figured out! From their walk with God, to raising children, to their marriage. Everyone seems one step ahead of me. It makes it hard for me to feel confident in my blogging. So seeing your giant pike if laundry, yes, does make me feel so much more normal. Thank you for sharing this peek behind the scenes!
Cheryl
Lol! Priceless. Thanks for sharing a bit of the reality of your life.
Rachel @ reprezent98201
Love this. 🙂 Thanks for being honest and real and vulnerable in sharing your life with us!
Nicole
AWESOME!
Sara Shay
We have 2 bedrooms as well. I’ve spent quite a few nights on the couch with our guy. And his pack and play resides in the living room behind the couch.
I do wonder when we will be able to transition him into the kids room. I’ve considered just having the baby sleep with big sister on the bottom bunk. Maybe when he is good and sleeping through the night …
Paula
what a fun post! I try to be more honest as a blogger, but it can be hard sometimes as well! So I started a series about my imperfect mommy moments 😉
We live in a 2 bedroom apartment too! baby girl’s pack n play is in our dining room 😉 so I can totally relate to those last few pictures!!! <3
mary
Just want to cheer you on! As a mother who is now an empty nester, we also lived the frugal, but rewarding life. I still even though we could afford to now, buy all our clothes from thrift stores, yard sales, not one piece in our wonderful house is new, our cars are older, and I still shop the sales for food ( always wait till Sat. for the 5.00 off 25.00 coupon at Dollar General which Jesse our dog doesn’t always like as he goes for days with out his bisquits!) Because of our lifestyle we were able to go into full time ministry in our later years on a much smaller budget then others in our organization because we were debt free. It really does pay off and many great memories are made.
Oh , I shared the bedroom with my 2 sisters when I was a little girl and we are tight as glue friends to this day- The girls will not miss having their own rooms (well, maybe when you younger sis wears the shirt you were planning on wearing!)
bee blessed
mary
Naomi
Ah yes! Sisters and sharing! There are 4 girls in my family (and 4 boys:) And at one point 6 kids shared a bedroom. When we moved to a house where we had 2 per room we 4 girls ended up all sharing ONE double bed 50% of the time anyway! We LOVED to be together! Now we live thousands of miles apart, but whenever we’re as close as ever. Nothing wrong with tight spaces! 🙂
Naomi
Oh, and I still swap clothes with the sister who lives close by 😉 Our husbands laugh at us, but hey it works! 🙂
Madeline
I totally know how you feel about the no-space thing. Our second son slept in the living room for a year until he was big enough to sleep in his big brother’s room in a bed. I blog too, and because of my optimism I imagine some people think I have it better than they do too- but the grass is always greener where it’s watered!
Thanks for sharing this precious post.
Have a great week!
Jessica
Loved this, Erin!
Debbie
Erin, thanks for sharing. Love the photo of your baby girl in the bathroom.
Gabrielle
I love this post. You’re so right about the perspective, and I struggle too because I think I can’t blog until I get it all together. Well honey, that’ll never happen.
Baby in the bathroom…so funny! I was tempted to put our baby boy in my closet (with the door open) but settled instead for another creative option: Our 2 year old sleeps in the bed with the 4 year old so that the baby can sleep in the crib (at night–he’s still in the pack n play for naps). But we have a third bedroom, so it works.
Rebecca
I loved your post! I don’t blog, but I do follow several. I always appreciate when the bloggers are honest about their “real life” (without being negative, of course). As a young mom of an active two and a half year old toddler boy and a demanding 2 week old son (just recovering from a tummy bug, to boot), my house doesn’t look so hot right now either 🙂 It’s always a matter of balance–how much time to spend cleaning and organizing vs. spending quality time with children, and of course, how much can I actually do on a few hours of sleep?
Our first son stayed in our room for 11 mos because we were moving across country, from a tiny mobile home, to living with my parents for a few months in their guest bedroom/attic. He lived in a bassinet, crib and then pack n’ play, and somehow we made it work and I doubt he’ll be scarred for life. This one will be moving into his older brother’s bedroom when he stops nursing so much at night. If you’re doing what works for you and your children, who really cares whether you have a perfectly decorated nursery for your new baby? As long as they have cuddles, milk and lots of love, they don’t care whether they’re in a bathroom, bedroom closet, or the most perfect nursery in the world!
Rachel
Our “baby” (now 19 months) sleeps in the bathroom too 🙂
Sharon g.
I can relate to this post! We raised 9 children in a three bedroom, one bath home of about 1000 square feet in size. My whole house could look like the “dirty clothes closet” at almost any given time. There were just so many people to fit in such a tiny space. Now, we are down to three kids at home, and sometimes (okay, most days) my house still is really bad, but my kids are happy, healthy, well educated and successful. I hope anyone who comes to visit is half blind to the disaster around them! I wish I could do better! With God’s help, it is improving. Thanks for posting a little “real” life.
Cathryn
I’m 40 with 3 children, my oldest is 15 now. I am so happy to know finally that there is nothing wrong with me. I went through major depression, not functioning at all, because I felt like such a failure. My mother is an alpha female type who could write a book on keeping routines, being organized, and filling every day with productivity. I had so much guilt and shame because I wasn’t catching on. With each additional child and difficult life circumstances, I had to find what mattered to me. And it wasn’t laundry to say the least. I was so incredibly conflicted between the mother and wife I wanted to be and the person I was. I made it, by the grace of God, and am healing. I love the Lord and trust Him, that He made me just the way He wanted. I’m not my mom, I’m not my sisters, I’m not my best friend, or my mommy friends…I’m me and I’m not inadequate no matter how much I fall short. My Father has me in His arms and tells me it’s ok. Thank you for sharing and letting me share too 🙂
Connie
Thank you so much for opening up yourself, your life, and your home to us. It takes a lot of courage to show your “real life” with all of its imperfections to us. Thank you for your constant encouragement and all you do for us readers. We know you get raked over the coals at times by a few readers that are easily offended. But, please keep n mind that there are many more of us that are being encouraged and appreciate your hard work.
Please continue in showing Christ’s love in all you do!
We love you,
Connie
Janna
Hey there. I’ve been following for a few for a while. I’ve often pondered does she have pure joy? I struggle with contentment, with joy, all coming from a lack of relationship with Jesus, well that’s what I figured since its the only thing I haven’t done consistently ever since I’ve gotten married 7 years ago. Well I’m pregnant with baby 5 and hope God doesn’t strike me down or take away my baby for all my doubt and regret for getting pregnant again. I love children. I love my children, I’m overwhelmed often by my service needed to manage them. Emotions dictates how I will fiction. Seldom ever wanting to get out of bed. This isn’t the life God wants for me, to live in constant woe. There is hope, but I’m blinded with self to much to see anything else. Thank you so very much for sharing. -Janna
Melissa
I really applaud your honesty! I think there is a definite segment of “mommy bloggers” who at least appear to live a very comfortable, easy life and it can make “normal” women feel pretty inadequate.
Vickie
When I was growing up we lived in 900 square foot home with 5 children. I remember when company came Mom would hide the dishes in the oven. Hey she got creative. Luckily we had a basement for all those clothes to go down the laundry shoot to. Seems like she went around the clock…something like you do. “Let it go you’ll get it later,” she said, and you do …eventually.
Vickie
Susan Hart
Thank you for sharing!
Life Breath Present
As a fellow blogger, I know I show my/our mess. Right now, we’re still not quite moved into our new place and we’ve been here for over a month. Meaning, most all of our belongings are in the garage. We finally started using our bed about a week ago, but there still aren’t even curtains up and our bed is in the living room. It’s funny and not so funny all at the same time, but that’s life – it’s mine and I love it and that’s what matters. This kind of thing is what I hope comes through on my blog.
Where we lived before, well it wasn’t so great and I’m sure that came through on the blog too. Especially in those posts about being frustrated and depressed and stressed. Nonetheless, I personally think it’s important to be fully real with people who come to my blog. 🙂