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| Image by futurestreet |
As much as I don’t want to rush this pregnancy, I’m glad I can finally say I’m in my third trimester–we’re in the home stretch. I showed so early this pregnancy (really, even before I took the pregnancy test!) that people have been asking me for weeks if I am about to have this baby any day.
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| This is my best friend/college roomie Brantley & I–about 8 weeks before she had her first and I had my second babies! |
1. “Are you sure you’re not having twins? You look too big for that to just be one baby!”
2. “Are you sure they have your due date right? I don’t think you’re going to make it until August.”
3. “You’re going to have your hands full!” (As they look on at my 3 and 1 year old.)
4. “You had a natural birth last time? Was that planned? And you seriously want to do it again? Come on–just ask for the epidural! You don’t have to be superwoman!”
5. “You look like you are due any day now! Do you really have three more months?!”
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| Image by Crystal_1979 |
7. “I was all belly when I was pregnant. I only gained 15 pounds.” (I have definitely gained more than that!)
8. “Wow, you look like you’re going to pop!” (This is worse, says my friend, when it comes from a heavy man with a pop belly–who thumps your belly when he says it!)
9. “You don’t look pregnant. Are you sure you are?” (This can be a compliment to a women of multiple children who has gained a lot of weight, but it can be disappointing to the first-time mom who is already nervous and desperately wants to look pregnant!)
I’ve had friends who have responded to some of these comments with rude comments of their own, but I usually smile and nod and then ask my husband: “Do I look fat?” And he says, “No! You look pregnant!”
But as my friend Christy of The Simple Homemaker pointed out, “We should not be too easily offended in life or in pregnancy when people speak to us. It is always easy to find offense if we are looking. Some people are just genuinely, lovingly interested, and others are really trying to be helpful….they really are trying to help, and we should offer them as much grace as we would like for ourselves. That said, I’ve heard many of these comments, and try to reply with respectful humor or a positive comment. Six girls and one boy–you can imagine what we’ve heard!”
*This post first appeared as one of my columns in the Mooresville Weekly newspaper.
- 10 Reasons We Opted to Give Birth at a Birth Center
- Easing Leg Pain During Pregnancy
- Pregnancy Posts Around the Web
- A Tale of Two Births: Medicated vs. Natural Hospital Births, part 2
- A Tale of Two Births: Medicated vs. Natural Hospital Births, part 1
- How to Achieve a Natural Birth in a Hospital Setting
- Real Food Pregnancy Cheats/Shortcuts
- OB or Midwife: Finding the Birth Provider Who Works for You
- A Comparison of Birth Settings: Home, Hospital and Birth Center
- Resources for a Natural Pregnancy
Hyperemesis Gravidarum: Much More than Severe Morning Sickness
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I think nobody should ever ask, “Was it an accident?” If the expectant parents want you to know about that, they’ll tell you!
Also, it’s usually wise to avoid stating any assumptions about whether the mother is going to quit her job, marry the father, or convert to the father’s religion.
I think the most astounding thing anyone said to me when I was pregnant was, “So, how does it feel to have breasts?” said by a very large-busted lesbian. I was speechless for a good half minute and finally stammered, “It’s like puberty all over again!”
One thing I didn’t mind was people who realized I was due near Christmas telling me how the people they knew with birthdays near Christmas celebrated them. It was fun to hear a lot of different ideas and decide how we would celebrate our son’s birthday.
‘Becca recently posted..Welcome to Earth Suburb.
It is amazing–and astounding–what people will say!
How about never asking if the pregnancy was planned and never asking if you’re happy about being pregnant? My friend, who is much quicker than me, would just answer, “That’s a little personal, don’t you think?” and then walk away.
Could we also add never touch a pregnant woman’s belly without her permission?
Jendeis recently posted..The Dog Ate My Posts and Other Excuses
LOL! I agree!
1. Are you going to be done now?/Think you’ll have any more?
2. Oh, your poor son! No brothers and four, soon to be five, sisters! (said in front of him)
3. I agree with the comment that mentioned people launching pregnancy horror stories and deaths. Labor/deliver/hospital staff horrors as well.
4. And from strange, creepy great-uncles whom you haven’t seen in 10 years and are now chatting with at a funeral, “Don’t you know what causes that?”
I think everyone gets too easily offended these days. Have you not asked these same questions to some of your girlfriends? Don’t you wonder if they are planning on having more? Don’t you wonder if they planned on having them close because they like it that way or if it was an accident? These are things my girlfriends and my family members discuss and I have no problem if an acquaintance asked too! And as for the “hand’s full” comment, if you have several kids your hands are likely full – that’s not a negative comment, it’s recognition of what a huge responsibility it is to care for young children!