No matter how you look at it, some people simply cannot afford organic food. If you’re one of those moms who simply doesn’t have the grocery budget to afford organic food, know that you are not alone! This letter is for you.
This post is part of the Dear Mom Letters series.
Dear Mom Who Can’t Afford Organic Food,
Let me tell you something, Mama: I so know where you are. I’ve been there. Actually, I am there.
And you know what? I’m really tired of hearing the phrase “Cancer costs more than organic food.”
Is it true? Well, yes, cancer does end up costing more than organic food, but when you have little bellies to feed now, you can’t let them die of starvation.
Yes, you can grow your own. And, yes, an organic apple costs less than a bag of conventional, hydrogenated-oil-laden potato chips, but an organic apple is still more expensive than a conventional apple. And no matter how you look at it, some people simply cannot afford organic food. Anyone who proposes that organic food is available to the masses hasn’t lived in the reality of the masses.
I have.
Deep down, I’m a reader and a researcher. My dad always says: “Erin! You read too much!” And, yes, it has caused me some stress over the years–like when I read up on organic food.
No doubt, organic food is better for you. No doubt!
But there was a time when I let our bellies rumble a little at the end of a month because…I chose not to buy conventional items–and we simply ran out of grocery money.
They take in the high-quality food that grocery stores would rather let go to waste. Then, we find everything a good home. Your home…at up to 40% off grocery store prices.
I consider myself a “natural” mama. I do buy organic food whenever possible–when I can find it at Aldi, when I can get a good deal on bulk items at BJ’s, when I can get non-certified organic from the farmer’s market or when I find bruised or over-ripe organic produce in the bargain bins at the grocery store.
We prefer organic food.
But we simply cannot afford to go 100% organic–not to feed our family of 5. We just can’t. Sometimes…sometimes…you have no choice.
Image by H Assaf
A few years ago, a friend told me about a post in which a well-meaning blogger tells how her family of four was taking on the “tough” challenge of eating real food on a tight budget–a food stamps budget, in fact.
I couldn’t wait to read this post and join this challenge. Surely, surely, it would help our family.
But when I clicked over, my jaw dropped. The “tight budget” was more than $600 per month. $600 is a “tight” budget? I felt defeated. I wanted to cry. In fact, I think I did.
Our budget at the time was far less than half of that.
I emailed the blogger. She kindly returned my email and suggested we cancel cable, sell our cars. She just doesn’t get it, I thought. She just doesn’t get it.
We didn’t have cable, and at the time we didn’t even own a car!
I next googled the food stamps eligibility. And guess what? It looked like we qualified! Yep. I was carrying our second child, and finances were so tight that I didn’t know how in the world we would ever be able to continue to feed our one child as it was–much less two.
I did something so humbling I have waited until now to share it with you. And I hold my breath as I even type it: I drove to our county’s Department of Social Services, and I applied for food stamps.
Scratch that–I didn’t drive myself there: My mom drove me. We didn’t own a car at the time, remember?
I see it like it was yesterday: Mom had told me a lady from the church where I grew up worked in the food stamps office. Would they call a number or my name? If the latter, would someone recognize my name? What if I ran into that woman from my past? Would she look at me in pity–in judgement?
And I’ll be honest: My pride reared its ugly head that day. I wanted to push out my chest and shout from the rooftops: I am an educated woman! I graduated the top of my class–in both high school and college! I hold a degree–and was a double major!
It happens every time, doesn’t it? When our pride shows itself, God humbles us. And it’s not easy.
As the food stamps worker listened to my story and collected all my documents, a little bit of hope glimmered inside. Perhaps we would get enough money to be able to afford better food–at least for a while–until we were able to produce a better income.
I should give the disclaimer that my husband, a teacher, was already working 12-hour days, Saturday school, football games, teaching an extra class during his planning period and running an after-school program–all to bring in extra income. I would sometimes stay up all night writing–just so we could make ends meet.
We weren’t sitting on our lazy bums.
A rejection letter in the mail a few days later brought with it both disappointment and relief: Now I could say we never had food stamps. Yet, I was back to square one with how we would feed our growing family.
Why were we rejected? We overqualified by about $200 per month–the amount I was making at the time by freelancing for our local newspaper.
God provided for us in other ways: the sweet Catholic co-worker of my husband’s who left gluten-free goodies on our doorstep for our little girl. Again, I didn’t know whether to shout for joy or cry–because weren’t we supposed to be the ones who gave to others and not the other way around? I had never imaged myself in the situation where someone would even feel compelled to leave food on our porch.
And we did qualify for WIC–a program which provides milk, cheese, eggs, cereal, some produce, rice, tortillas, bread, juice and beans. Not all of it was healthy, and a lot of it we couldn’t use because of food allergies, but sometimes that rice and beans got us through until the end of the month.
I hid the food stamps in shame. We live in an affluent suburb of Charlotte, North Carolina. I went to the grocery store where I thought I wouldn’t run into anyone–and at hours when I thought there would be fewer crowds.
When people haven’t walked in your shoes or understand your circumstances, they can be very judgmental. I know because I used to be the same way.
Oh how I’ve been humbled.
Right now, you can also grab your FREE Guide to skip the store, use the food have, and save more money?
The day I ran into another girl from my MOPS group waiting in line for her WIC appointment? We looked at each other and knew–we were both embarrassed and relieved at the same time. And so I wasn’t the only one hiding something.
I am not advocating for going on government aid to eat better. I am especially not advocating going on government aid for a long-term solution.
My husband continues to work tirelessly, and I write as much as I can–just so we over-qualify enough to not be on it. God has blessed me with the ability to stay at home with my kids and write this blog. It has allowed us to get ahead some.
That day I called and canceled our WIC? It was monumental.
Dear Mom Who Can’t Afford Organic Food,
I hear you. I really do. And I do not judge you.
You just keep on giving your babies the best food that you can. Even if you don’t eat organic, you can still eat real food–fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, meat that hasn’t been processed. Cook from scratch. Use up all your leftovers. Check those bargain bins for any reduced organic foods.
But, most of all, let go of that guilt that real food elitists may conjure up. Go in grace, Mama. Go in grace.
Be sure to read part 2 of this post: Practical Ways to Eat Well When You Can’t Afford Organic Food. If this post spoke to you, you might also my friend Beth’s post: Dear Middle-Class America, I Have a Bone to Pick with You.
Have you found that it’s hard to afford organic food? How can we encourage others who want to eat organic, but can’t?
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Alicia
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can … I’m on the East Coast and grocery stores don’t really stock much organic produce, but I have a nasty chemical/food allergy and can really only eat organic … my grocery bill is atleast $800.00 a month. Of course food seems to be more expensive out here anyways … it’s awful. I don’t know how any family coudl afford to go all organic.
Erin
Thank you!
Raven
I live in the Chicago area, the second-most expensive place in the country. And how a family can “afford to eat all organic” is by simply NOT SPENDING 800 FUCKING DOLLARS. When I had a normal house and place to live (meaning: complete access to a refrigerator, and also access to a stove, oven, counter, grinder (for which I used a cheese grater), and blender), I was responsible for buying the food. For the two of us, I had $189/month, and most months we did not have to go into the cash. When we did, it was generally the result of buying that good cheese or something (the raw cheese from trader Joe’s is a decent price, but raw cheese goes moldy in like a day, so we loved this other cheese from Fruitful Yield for $5/pack), and when we bought too many expensive things like that or too many drinks is when we had to go into the cash. If my baby had been born during that time, we also would have been able to easily be able to feed him as well until about the age of 5 – although at that point the food stamps increase, but the money we were spending before that increase from $189 would also have been enough.
..So yeah, just DON’T SPEND 800 FUCKING DOLLARS that’s how you do it. Of course I am assuming you have 5 kids if you’re spending that much, but then again buying for 5 kids is cheaper per person anyway so comparatively by # of people you should be spending less then we were. Especially since my boyfriend also had a penchant for buying store-prepared smoothies and things like that, wanting pop more frequently then one would expect from the person who is “in charge” of the toxin-free thing, and also says things now like, “I can’t buy organic apples because they are so expensive, so I have to buy the non-organic ones” – rather then just simply not buying apples. Meaning that at the time I am describing in which $189 was enough sometimes and only a tiny bit of supplemental at other months, we were buying some more expensive things like organic apples (since I was “in charge” and will not let him eat poison if the item is available in nonpoisonous form).
Jennifer Elia
Thank you, Erin, for this post. I have so lived this. I have heard all the quips, “If it mattered to you, you will find the money.” or “Feeding your kids good food is so important that it’s not an expense, it’s a necessity.”
But, no matter how much you want it, if the money isn’t there, it isn’t there. So, I have had to let go of the notion that if I cared I would find the money.
I remember when I realized that food stamps were 3 times as much as our grocery budget. I felt totally defeated! I have felt the same way about organic clothing, expensive filtration devices, housewide EMF neutralizers, and such.
Now, I focus on what I can do and I let the rest go. I trust that if God wants us to have that precaution or device, He will find a way to provide it. We can’t control everything, we can’t design our future. It is sad that our food system is so broken, but we shouldn’t feel shame over that.
I am so thankful that you shared this.
Pamela
Thank you for this 🙂 God bless <3
Erin
Thanks!
Laura
Thank you! I was needing that! I have been struggling with guilt when I buy non-organic food (rather than no fresh foods at all) or give my chickens something that is not “foodie.” knowing the eggs will pass that stuff on to my kids.
It is hard seeing messages constantly on facebook and elsewhere (family and friends, sometimes) advocating the “right” foods as a moral issue.
Thank you! I will walk in grace, choosing to aim for financial freedom (and full bellies) instead of nutritional choices motivated by pride. And when we get there, hopefully we will once again have soy-free organic eggs, etc. But I will not stress about that anymore. I am doing the best I can, and God does not require any more than that.
Rebecca
You are right. God only requires you to do the best you can. So don’t worry about those things you are unable to do. 🙂
Sarah B
God is charge of our health and food, too. You do the best you can and leave the rest in His Almighty, all-powerful hands.
Erin
We just have to do the best we can!
Raven
Chickens eat everything, so feeding them something that has no soy should be quite easy. Chickens are NOT vegetarians and vegetarian-fed eggs are not healthy. And, depending what you are buying, having a “full stomach” (I am indeed changing your exact words, since having a “full belly” is impossible due to the fact that I am older then 3 years old and I suspect that you are as well) is
Raven
most definitely not healthier then eating very little, such as for example if the alternative was to eat toxin-laden strawberries, bananas, carrots, apples, or green beans. Only if you were eating only mostly nontoxic produce such as brocolli, cabbage, and beans which have no additives in the can would this actually be healthier then eating nothing.
Kimberly
Thank you.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
Thanks for reading!
Candy Fulsher
I totally understand and agree with you. I would love to serve organic all the time, but finances don’t allow. I joked not long ago that I was on a food stamp budget, but truth be told, I spend way less than many have on food stamps. I am choosing to take a job to help the budget. We have to do some things if God puts it in front of us. He has also helped us get by. On Monday, a friend that farms gave us over 300 pounds of dried beans. Yup, 300! He told us to share with others if we wanted and that is what we did. I will be canning beans all weekend. They aren’t organic, but they are food. We also raise our own meats on our farm (pastured, hormone and antibiotic free). It is a “pick your battles” thing. I will do the best with what I am given and that’s all we can do.
Erin
What a blessing–on the beans!
Ann
On WIC, on stamps – don’t care what anyone else thinks. I can’t walk into Whole Foods and spend $80 on a whole, fresh, organic LUNCH for two.
There are certain foods we only eat organic…there are many we eat non-GMO, local, and fresh.
We will all die someday, and I find this concept lost on those pushy food elitists. That and the fact cancers and disease do not discriminate.
Mollie
Lunch for 2 at Whole Foods does not cost more than $16.00. Yes, that is pricey to a LOT of people. But it’s not $80 and we shouldn’t be overexaggerating and continuing misinformation that people can’t afford to buy organic at ALL and that Whole Foods isn’t a place that anyone who earns less than $100,000/yr can shop. There is nothing elitist about wanting to provide safe, healthy food for your family.
Tammie
I don’t think it is elitist to want to provide safe, healthy food for your family either. I do, however, think the attitude and judgement that people have can be elitist. Not everyone who eats organic is like that, but some pretty mean things can be said by both sides. I say just do the best you can with what God gives you. Glorify Him with what you have.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
I think this is key: “I don’t think it is elitist to want to provide safe, healthy food for your family either. I do, however, think the attitude and judgement that people have can be elitist.”
I think it’s ideal TO eat all organic, and I applaud those who can. We eat as much as we are able. The “elitist”comes in the attitude.
Maureen
I didn’t care at all for being called an elitist either. I gave up an extremely well paying job to home educate my children and my husband works his regular job plus his own side business. We also have five people and our monthly grocery bill is between $250 and $375 per month. That includes buying organic for certain items such as dairy and grains, natural meats and organic for any item on the dirty dozen. If something meeting that criteria is too expensive then I do not buy at all. I shop sales, stock up and freeze when I find a deal, grow a vegetable garden year round and purchase what is available for a good price at our farmer’s market. I do not consider myself an elitist (I could care less what anyone else feeds their children as my children are my only concern) and would prefer to author present her message without being degrading to those of us who do choose to buy organic whenever possible as a matter of personal choice.
Kristi A Gilleland
I don’t think the author was doing that at all. I didn’t think she was being judgmental towards anyone – only encouraging people to do their best and lose the guilt.
I home educated as well – when it really got rough on us – food bill wise- was when my husband lost his long term well paying job and at the same time our son entered into those teen years. We also usually had 2-3 other teens to feed as well. When suddenly you are feeding a bunch of very active 6’+ still growing boys it gets crazy expensive.
Janette
as I’m reading the comments I’m trying to figure out how ya’ll are surviving on $300/month. My family goes through $600 easy per month. I just started looking into organic foods. We’re a family of 6. any tips on cutting our grocery bill?
Lovingmom1
What?! Did you even READ the post before getting all sensitive and defensive. Nobody is attacking you for buying organic when you can. Not once did I read that in her blog. She did however talk about people who get on their soapbox about what she SHOULD be feeding her kids and how some people may not have the money to spend 2 dollars on one friggin’ apple.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
I agree with Tammy–the “elitists” I was referring to are those who condemn those who can’t/don’t eat organic food. I PREFER organic food! But, really, there are some people who just can’t afford it–people who can barely afford to eat conventional as is. There are more poor people in the U.S. than people think.
colleen
You are so right, I shop at whole foods with coupons and food stamps,I usually buy about 50.00 dollars worth of healthy groceries and after coupons my total is $20.00. It can be done with a little planning, I feel that if I am going to use them I should use them responsibly and get the most bang for each dollar. PS Whole foods has a delicious freshly made burrito for $4.00. There is a pic of what I bought. http://t.co/fmc7hwWz7i
Lyn
I find that the Whole Foods coupon books found at the front of the store, stacking with manu coupons when available (they take one store and one manu for each item) and getting case discounts really helps me save and buy more organic. I don’t do 100%, I think that would be close to impossible for me but I am working at it. For example, WF had Imagine organic chicken broth for 2/$5. I used a $1 Imagine broth, soup or gravy WF coupon, found in the flyer for each one (no limit, as far as I know), then I bought 12 and requested the case discount at checkout. Great savings! I also do super double coupons when Harris Teeter has their events. Most of all, we just pray for the Lord to bless our food and drink as it says in Exodus. Blessings to you all, whether you can buy organic or NOT!
Erin
Thanks for the couponing tip!
Raven
$4 for ONE BURRITO??!? Who the fuck can afford that?! Most of the somewhat-but-not-at-all-near-fully toxin-free burritos in the grocery are stores are expensive, between $2-$2.50… $4 for not even a full meal! WTF! (If you’re not rich.)
Tellitlikeitis
I agree wholeheartedly. Who can spend $4 on a burrito. I know I can’t. I get $29 a month for food and live on $897 a month total in California. It’s all about adjusting.
Jill
Ann I hear you. This is us too. We are a family with four hungry boys. There is no way I can feed them all organic on what we bring home. No way.
Raven
Well, you’re right. You CAN’T walk into Whole Foods and spend $80 onlunch for two people. And neither can anyone else, because there is nothing available to buy at Whole Foods that would cost $80 to create lunch for two people.
Lisa Suit
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
Thanks for reading! 🙂
c
LOVE THIS POST!! thank you so much!!
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
Thank you 🙂
Sara
I am so glad I found your blog! This is the second post I have commented on today (and I never comment on anything!) I struggle to feed 3 kiddos, husband, grandma, and myself on less than $100 a week grocery budget. We do not qualify for any assistance, though we did for WIC with my last baby. I want to feed everyone with healthy food as much as possible, but sometimes our budget doesn’t allow for organic. (Also, the husband is not willing to give up a lot of his gross snacks). I do the best I can but feel guilty when I buy “regular” fruits and veggies, and especially meat! It’s so expensive! I try to buy “managers specials” discounted meat, but it’s not always available. Thanks for making me feel better, and thanks for your blog! I just love it! I feel God called me to find this, because I have felt so discouraged lately over a lot of my life choices. Thanks again
Raven
Again, buy on the clean 15, buy nothing ever no matter what on the dirty dozen, and when you have no money left buy carrots since the organic is only 10 cents more but non-organic carrots are some of the most toxic things there are (and beans, since non-organic beans are I think the very least toxic thing available, as long as you dont get one that have Disodium EDTA or some other thing added to the can with it). So when you are buying some of the least-toxic crops such as brocolli, cabbage, beans, and asparagus (only expensive in some stores; in others, it’s only $3/lb.) then you do not have to feel guilty. On the other hand, if you are buying things that are not given free, or even if you are not trading or getting rid of unless you are literally starving, very toxic things such as strawberries (or any berries), bananas, and oranges, then you should definitely feel guilty and should never do that.
Penny
Congratulations Raven.! You left a comment without the F word! Your advice is sensible, to a point, but your delivery needs work. Agree with the comment about not feeding to FILL bellies as much as feeding “Good Food” to feed bellies enough. I think we in the Western part of the world eat WAY more than our bodies need! I look at Mother Teresa. She ate very little if any meat. She survived mostly on vegetables, fruits and grains and ate VERY LITTTLE of that and look at all she accomplished and how long she lived! Good point Raven! I will definitely keep that in mind and begin to cut back on portion sizes. Again, maybe less of the F word. You get more bees with honey.
Patricia Robertson
Thank you such a great post.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
Thanks! 🙂
Becky Jesse
Yes Yes, YES! Thank you. I am there, we have 2 kiddos, I am a stay at home momma and have to be Gluten Free/dairy free.
I hear YOU! thank you for putting this out there.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
Thank you–we’re GF/DF, too!
Gloria
Thanks for the post Erin. I totally get it. I’ve recently looked online to see if we are eligible for food stamps and I read they look at your savings, and we both have small retirement accounts, if I didn’t work weekends we would be close to the level income required . but I choose to work my side job cleaning. Daycare for two kids would eat up a full time salary. . My husband has ibs and his Dr suggests paleo which says no potatoes rice or beans and only grass fed meats but we haven’t gone paleo my point is I’ve read a lot of ppl who say eat lots of rice and beans cause it’s cheap but then I’d feel guilty for making my husband’s issues worse, it’s a vicious cycle. I buy conventional meat and produce and some grass fed and organic.. I struggle with keeping in our grocery budget every month cause I’m still learning.. But yes God always provides!
Michelle
I absolutely relate. There was a phase in our lives when my husband and I both got our hours cut at the same time, and we could barely afford basic living expenses. I tried signing up for food stamps but we exceeded the limit by $120 because they happened to include the one pay stub when my husband worked waaay overtime doing annual inventory. We could afford rice and beans, but having dealt with PCOS, carb-centric, plant-protein based diets made me sick in so many ways. My husband could tolerate it, but I couldn’t go back to that. We ate a ton of conventional eggs and conventional chicken thighs and legs during that time. And potatoes. And whatever green vegetable was cheapest that week. Nothing was organic until a month later when suddenly we both got our hours back. Even then our food budget was less than what food stamps calculates a family of two “needs” in the context of a “low budget” plan.
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
I know it’s SO tough with food allergies! I had someone tell me the other day being GF and DF isn’t expensive. Say what?! The hard thing when we were on WIC was that the majority of it was stuff we couldn’t eat…but the little we could helped (like we got anywhere from $6-$22/month for produce). We also have egg and tree nut allergies in our family. I wish I could petition for more help with people with food allergies, but, sadly, it’s really become and epidemic (and that’s a whole different post!!).
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker
I so hear you, Gloria! 🙁 We’re the same way. If I didn’t write, we would qualify for quite a bit of aid, but we don’t feel led for me to quit writing (it’s a passion, and we’re so thankful it helps provide!). Praying for you to continue to see God’s provision!! 🙂
Barbara Russo
This was a great post. I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom of five and I do my best to buy organic when possible….but it isn’t always possible! We recently took meat and some dairy out of our diet for health reasons and I have started serving more home cooked real food meals for my family. It is a process. We all try to do the best we can. I get the organic thing but I also get the money thing! Thanks for the post!
Lisa @ Farm Fresh
This is us! We try to do the best we can. We eat as organically as we CAN…but our money only goes so far so we pick and choose and then just do without. We make from scratch nearly everything—but we still buy some odds and ends that are not organic. There comes of time when the desire is there, but the money is not…and there is nothing wrong with that.
Shelby
Why are you so ashamed of seeking assistance for which you qualify? This is why we organized into societies: so our lives would be better than if we were just living alone out in the woods. Its sad we are so hateful of people in need that you felt you needed the disclaimer that your family isn’t lazy. We have these programs because society is served by the greater good of people, and especially children, having good nutrition. You are responsible for seeking the help for which you are entitled.
Laura
One cannot rely on the government. Yes, the government may try to help, and succeed in many ways. But budget cuts will invariably affect somebody, whether it is people on the WIC program, housing assistance, or something else. Preparedness, in my mind, is first and foremost peace in your heart that YOU are doing what you can and trusting in a higher power. We can rely on the Lord God and yourself, but the moment we rely on a system, we are at the mercy of their rules.
I have also been on WIC and food stamps. Huge blow to the pride, but it is not just that. My conscience tells me to get on my feet (even if it is rice and beans-which it was, for a long time) and leave assistance for people who truly have no way of earning income. We were out of work and my husband was injured. Hard times and no income? Yes. Unemployable? No. is not so much pride as it is work ethic and taking care of the family.
Christine
Shelby,
Not to sound harsh…one of the problems with programs like this is the fact that some (noticed I used the word “some” and not “all”) people feel entitled. In fact, it is wrong to have the mentality that one should be ENTITLED to other people’s money. It is also not our government’s responsibility to provide us with a “modern” life either. In fact, our family saves quite a bit of money by living a more simplistic lifestyle by growing most of our own food, making our household cleaners, not having cable, or any other “modern luxuries”. Does it require a little more work? Yes…but it is well worth it!
Yes, I have been in a situation were my husband and I literally had $3 per week for groceries and we sold off most of our possessions just to put food on the table. Once of twice I looked into applying for WIC, but my husband and I always found a way to put food on our table (doing odd jobs for family, neighbors, & churches), so as long as we found a way to keep a roof over our heads and food in the table, we didn’t feel like we should be “entitled” to money that didn’t belong to us…which had nothing to do with pride.I was pregnant when my husband was laid off from his job, and I couldn’t count how many young girls in the waiting room toted Coach purses and smart phones received medical assistance complained to their parents that they needed money for this or that…while I scrubbed community college art rooms for $75 per week. Then there were those times when I was behind someone in line who was complaining that their food stamps would not cover a specific brand of orange juice, with a cart full of groceries, when I could only afford a bag of rice and a couple of veggies.
Of course, there are those that are disabled or have something that prevents them from working, but I know many families that receive assistance that can afford to cut back on certain expenses that actually exceed the amount that they receive in assistance. Is this the same for everyone? Of course not.
People are becoming less and less self-sufficient and our need to achieve the “American Dream” (buying the next iPhone, and accumulating a ton of unnecessary stuff) is what is killing our society. Our poorest in this country are among the wealthy in many other countries who can provide for their families in the “backwoods” way that you are mocking…
Laura
Christine, I would enjoy reading your story! Do you blog?
Erin
Christine,
I agree. The sense of entitlement is what bothers me most, and I think that sense of humility keeps that from happening. We never felt entitle of have help. It was a blessing. My husband was working full time (12 hours a day and on Saturdays as well as tutoring and doing freelance photography and graphic design on the side). We were paying into the system and will pay even more with my self employment tax. I think any type of aid is a short term remedy to help people get back on their feet, but should not be used for long-term needs unless it is for what you mentioned with medical, disability, etc. You are absolutely correct that the poor here are better off than in other countries. We have lived overseas and seen this, and that’s why that sense of entitlement bothers me most. Thank you for your comments.
Elaine Shiner
I don’t understand why people who are barely getting by are condemned for taking government help to make a better life for their children when there is no outcry for the amount of government help millionaires and billionaires through corporations take in millions in tax breaks, incentive subsidies, etc. The wealthy will not starve without government assistance, however I have seen people with nothing to feed their children but ketchup sandwiches… The children are our future, their being well fed will help determine what abilities they bring to the future, schools recognize children who are hungry don’t do as well in school… The children can’t earn a better life, cannot control the finances of the family as the heads of corporations can yet it is ok for corporate welfare but wrong for children?? There is no honor in depriving your children when millionaires feel no shame in taking advantage of every tax avoiding angle they can find and in my opinion it is child abuse to give your children less than you could in some noble sense of doing it all by yourself while corporations and millionaires are lined up at the same government trough.
Erin
I agree.
Millie
Of Elaine Shiner’s comments, I chime in, “Spot on!” Judgementalness and misguided, inaccurate accusations or over-generaliztions and cruel stereotypes profit no one in the long term (and in the short term, only people who have and are often blinded by too much privilege).
Of Erin’s lament, at the beginning of this article, that she tires of hearing the phrase, “Cancer costs more than organic food,” I think the lament rings true for millions of people in North America, and I know it does for even millions in Canada (which only has around 35 Million citizens altogether, from all economics brackets combined).
(Such remarks seem recklessly designed to make low income people feel to blame for and guilty even when they, their child, their partner, or their roommate / housemate comes down with a serious health condition, like cancers, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, obesity, vascular disease, etc. . . . sometimes despite anything they knowingly did to contribute, and often while following, or economically trying to follow, outdated, corporate profit prioritizing government health guidelines!)
Erin’s voice on this topic is valuable and refreshing. Refrains similar to the one she references at least _seem_ to have been on the increase in the media this year (ironically despite the sharp increases in the price of nutrition / real foods, utilities, housing, and other basic necessities of surviving today). This past week I heard yet another from Canada’s public broadcasting crown corporation (CBC).
For example: Misleading claims in the media that — the people of one jurisdiction or another, or — the even more general “people” “DON’T MIND paying more for” non genetically engineered (GE)/non GMO foods, locally grown foods, foods from businesses that pay livable incomes or have responsible environmental policies, organic produce, nuts, seeds, dairy, and meats!
The overgeneralization and misleading claim is a powerful distraction from what should be the real questions and policy considerations. For example: What can our society do about the fact that (domestic) populations who do not have a choice cannot afford sufficient and personally appropriate nutirition and their other health influencing survival basics? (For a start, more justice model approaches to human need, before any more wholly inadequate, privacy diminishing, dignity eroding, health damaging, economically inefficient / wasteful charity model approaches are needed.)
I’d like to see communication that is more responsible from citizens and especially journalists, politicians, and other influencers of public policy in North America.
Economic distribution in this continent is an unnecessary, grossly unfair, and ever more sorry sight to behold in almost every community, and even more so among low income children, low income people existing on disability benefits of various sorts, and low income seniors existing on some of the public pensions. (And yes, some ethnic backgrounds are over represented in these 3 domestic populations.)
Thoughtful website, Erin. Thanks.
Alena@TheHomemadeCreative
Christine…
1. Food stamps do not limit brand, on anything. You can by any food item that is not hot, and not alcohol. The program the shopper you complain about was on is WIC, which has extremely specific, arbitrary, and confusing guidelines about brands and ounces allowed, and anyone who has ever used it will tell you that it is extremely confusing and frustrating, trying to use the dumb checks they give you. Why do we? Because it’s one less food item we have to try to buy on pennies, and no matter how much the impatient, self-righteous customer behind us in line sighs, rolls their eyes, and comments to themselves or others in a not-so-quiet voice about your “entitlement”, it’s worth the hassle to know that you are putting food in front of your kids.
2. Am I entitled to free food? No, I’m not. But darned if I won’t accept it, if it means that or starve, especially if my toddler will starve, too. Funny, I don’t know a SINGLE PERSON who would say “entitled” comes to mind as an emotion attached to having to use WIC or food stamps. “Scared” of what garbage will be spewed at them by other shoppers, or store employees – yes. “Embarrassed” that the full time job doesn’t cover rent, power, car for work (because not all of us live near public transit, lady), insurance for said car, medication that can’t be ignored, tithe (because poor Christians still believe in that, regardless of what others seem to think), and toilet paper, doesn’t stretch to cover groceries, too – yes. “Rage” that they are working night and day to better their situation so one day they might be able to go off of public assistance without risking social services being called because their child is ill from malnutrition, and some afore-mentioned troll thinks it’s cute to say they’re not working or trying hard enough…OH YES. But “entitled”…? Not so much. Unless you consider thinking that one ought to be able to live in America, the “land of plenty”, and not starve to death or live in a tent “entitlement.”
3. The poor in this country LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY. Are we better off than the poor in India, or Sudan, or Nepal? YES, and we should thank God for that, and do what we can to improve living conditions in those countries. But that doesn’t change the FACT that in THIS country, you have to make a minimum amount of money to get by. Especially since most of THIS country’s weather in the winter would KILL anyone who lived outside, for instance. Because guess what?? If my family didn’t have food stamps, we would have to choose between living indoors, and eating ANYTHING.
So get over yourself. You may be able to actually scrape by on the barest of grocery budgets, but not everyone actually HAS THE MONEY TO SCRAPE BY WITH, and those who could afford to eat beans and rice almost exclusively may not be able to do so for health reasons, much less, oh, I don’t know, wanting to avoid scurvy. So I’ll say it again…
GET OVER YOURSELF.
Stacey
Thanks for that!!! I have two boys who would eat us out of house and home. I did have a job but I had to quit and be at home because I couldn’t afford daycare for my son and pay everything that needed paid (like keeping a roof over our head and food) I do not know where people think everyone gets a ton of money on food stamps. I have a family of 4 and only get $208 a month. That’s still not enough to feed us for the month and that’s without buying organic. I really wish people would quit being judgmental to people who are on food stamps. I know their are a lot of people who abuse the system but that is with everything. However, there are a lot of people who really need it. I have a friend who is disabled but since she’s single she only gets $29 a month. Is it embarrassing yes but I will not let my boys go hungry because I can’t be seen with a food stamp card.
Christine
Alena –
Sorry I confused WIC & food stamps.
I definitely do not claim to be “self-righteous”, nor do I look down upon those who receive assistance. What I was saying is that many do abuse the system…while there are single parents or those who are disabled that do not qualify because they make $20 too much (a problem my sister faces).
What I was saying is that I found ways to earn money to give my kids more than just rice and beans…because I WAS able too. Would it be fair to get on assistance just because it was more comfortable for me not to clean the art studio & rental houses for grocery and bill money…and perhaps taking away the opportunity from someone else? No.
Both of my best friends receive assistance, and I love them dearly. I don’t think that they are the scum of the earth because the rely on the government to feed their kids. However, what hurts me is that they complain about not having money when they still pay $200 on cable every month and go out to eat multiple times per week. Then when I show them ways to save money, they flat out refuse because it is something that they picture their grandmother doing or it’s “just not their style”
I also realize that there are people in this country that do not have access to public transportation…in fact, I had to walk my children to most places and got spit on (yes, SPIT on), harrassed, and told that I was a horrible mother for walking my kids to the grocery store because my family had one vehicle (or for some time no vehicle). What was I supposed to do? Stay at home and let my kids starve?
The point I was trying to make is that what is wrong with this country is that too many people think they are “entitled” to everything everyone else has…that belief is deeply engrained into our culture and even the middle class and upper class believe it. Not trying to change the subject here, but it offended me to the point of anger when more people were concerned about the release of the stupid iPhone than other issues in this country that would drive us further into debt…causing a greater seperation of the poor & rich…
Don’t think for a second that I do not care for the poor people in this country.
I spend quite a bit of time teaching others how to become more self-reliant by making $4 detergents and work with an organization that distributes cloth diapers to those who receive government assistance. I do not say this to say “hey, look at me!”, but because I truly care about those who are struggling. I do this because I want to, and knows how it feels to cry myself to sleep at night wondering if I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When my husband and I were both unemployed (he was laid off a week before our son was born and I worked until the day I went into labor, the school would not allow me to renew my work contract until the next semester), we depleted our savings to pay our mortgage and bills. As I had mentioned above, we sold as many possessions that we could to keep us fed and sheltered. I understand that not everyone is as lucky to have started out with those things…which is why when my husband and I saw someone that needed food and in a worse position than we were in, we still gave.
We still tithed to our church that was feeding a local school whose children that came there hungry without eating breakfast or lunch…how is that ridiculous to you? Sure, I could keep and save my hard earned money for myself (as little as it was), or I could have some compassion on others and share what I have now with the faith that I would be taken care of tomorrow. That idea may sound stupid to some…but we were thankful for what we were able to work for and to share what little that we could…and we were always fed.
Of course the life that we live now is under constant ridicule…and often worse in some areas of the US…
Because our past experience has taught us that at any given moment, we could be unemployed again, we have been preparing for tomorrow (again, I realize this is difficult for someone with no extra income) a little at a time.
Most of our yard is now garden area (can also be done in pots or vertical gardens if you don’t have a yard) were we grow our veggies (the sort of thing many people are currently being prosecuted for, getting their homes raided because authorities believe they are growing pot, being sued for unsightly lawns, etc.). We shopped thrift stores for old canning jars and canned or froze whatever food we couldn’t eat. We also put aside money each month to buy food with a long shelf life (in bulk), even though it goes against my “organic-crunchy mama” beliefs…but I will feed my kids that food rather than let them starve.
Yes, most of our friends think we are crazy hoarders/doomsday people…but the belief to prepare for the future was once held by generations before us to keep families fed in times in unemployment, war, natural disasters, etc., and did so without government help…because the government won’t always be there and in many cases won’t help (which has been displayed during the past couple of years). Our cultures mock “preppers”, yet…who do you think came to the rescue during long periods of power outages and storms? In fact, many times the government steps in a threatens to arrest the man with the bbq to feed those without food or power because he does not have a license to do so or allow others to use their outlets ran on electricity powered by a generator so people can power their cell phones to call their families…how wrong is that?
I may be going off-topic a little…but bottom line :
* I do NOT have a hatred for those on assistance, I just think it is wrong that those who are able to make some small adjustments to their lifestyle refuse to…because receiving assistance is easier. Yes I have personally heard this spoken before, but NOT ALL think this way.
* SOME people DO believe that our government owes them a better life (again, not saying all hold this belief)
* For those that are able to save, do it now. When you get out of the rut, find ways to become more self-sufficient…not only will it save you money in the process, but it can help ease the burden later if you find yourself in a simliar situation.
Again, I will make the point that I think evil of those on assistance, and would rather see people starve…because I DON’T. In fact, I hate to see all of the struggling in this world and do what I can to make it better.
For those who are struggling financially, call around and see if your local churches have a community garden or look for organizations (like Hefer International) that have farms, which are used to grow food for those willing to pick it. Businesses like Panera giveaway day old bread to those who ask.
Maureen
I completely agree with your response………..
colleen
Perfect and Thank you.
colleen
This comment posted under the wrong comment sorry
Casie
Alena – #2 brought tears to my eyes. We have 3 kids, I’m working as much as possible, my husband has been unemployed for some time. He has a degree, is a disabled vet, has a glowing resume, & is out looking for a job every d**n day. We are on Tenncare, foodstamps, & WIC. If there were any other programs that we qualified for, I would be on them. We don’t have cable, drive old beat up cars but they’re pd for. No daycare cuz my wonderful job lets me take the baby to work w/ me. We tithe despite it all. I’m not ashamed of foodstamps. I’m ashamed that I NEED foodstamps. That we can’t do it on our own. Our monthly expenses are $1,200 for rent, utilities, clothes, gas, everything. Our income is only $1300. So if we had to buy groceries, we’d go hungry. As it is, if my kids need something for a school project, I have to ask for donations or they get an F. I’m beyond grateful for foodstamps & I refuse to hide being on them. I’ve been homeless & hungry before. I won’t let that happen to them. I want to be able to look back & know that I did everything in my power to take care of my babies. So I’ll gladly swipe that foodstamp card or use that WIC check. Because my children might not have nice clothes, shoes that fit, & Santa won’t be coming to our house again this yr. But they will never, NEVER worry if there will be food on the supper table!!!
Kathy Ruder
For those of us who have had to take the government assistance–the treatment others doled out (including many times those in our own families) was the worst part.
themiddleme
I do think we are all entitled to food. It’s an absolute basic human necessity like sleep and water. Without food we would become ill and become a burden, so actually it serves others to share food with those who are hungry. It is everyone’s responsibility to feed the hungry. I don’t get the idea that no one is responsible for anyone else at all, ever. We do not live in a vacuum. Even those who are insured by private companies are sharing the cost of their medical services with others who are paying premiums into the pool. The only difference is that you have a 3rd party company making the rules, setting the rates and deciding eligibility for care. But it’s still people “using other people’s money.” That’s how health insurance (or any and all insurances) work. That’s how banks work, too. That’s how we have emergency services, mail etc. Can you imagine if someone’s home was on fire and their neighbor told them they were not “entitled” to a bucket of water to put it out? Christianity teaches that we are responsible for each other. Christ said to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and so on. Didn’t He also say that what you do to the least of His people, you do it to Him? We are not owners of our money and possessions, we are stewards. It all belongs to God. We kid ourselves thinking ANYTHING is ours at all.
And the cost of living goes up every year while salaries do not. I know of one person who was making 7.50 an hour about ten years ago and at the same company today she is still making 7.50. Shouldn’t she be “entitled” to some kind of raise for all her work and loyalty to that company? It’s insane.
Kathy Ruder
I agree totally! Food is a necessity. Where do they get this idea that to provide help with it is somehow wrong? Oh, I know…because it wasn’t always something that was given by the government. There are those that are jealous, because they had to struggle and scrape and work and still go hungry…and now people get the help that should have been given years ago. I listened to enough angry older folks to know that is part of what drives all the hatred towards those on welfare. That and often times….the race of those getting it. Sad.
Namey
hear hear
Kathy G
I felt the need to comment that I found this post very assuming and judgmental to the working poor. Often people might have nicer things because they had good jobs but got laid off or they were given a gift. I think one good habit we can nurture is to not think the worst of people or the lowest form of denominator but think the best of people and their positives. Sometimes getting to know the people you see is helpful in seeing them three dimensionally instead of just on the surface.
I am sure there are people who “game” the system but the fact is there is less than 1% fraud in the SNAP program. I don’t think you can find that to be true in say, government contracts or subsidies with businesses/corporations. Corporations like Apple or wealthy billionaires who shelter their income and profits and use all kinds of financial tax loopholes to avoid paying their fair share. The governor of Florida plead the 5th on a major Medicare fraud case when he was the CEO of Columbia/HCA. I don’t know why they are not held to the high standards of the working poor, often uneducated people who have less power and ability to cause others to suffer. It does not make me suffer for my neighbor to be fed. It does not change one iota of my daily toil for their children to get a free breakfast and lunch at school so they can learn. But companies and entities that run their employees to the ground, purposely starve them of adequate hours/pay to avoid providing a living wage or healthcare- so they are forced to use social services are not as obvious as the individual standing in line at the P&C with their WIC checks and SNAP card putting away the shampoo or garbage bags so their kid can have their favorite treat. They don’t wear “I work at Walmart” or “I work max hours at Home Depot” or “I work at Macy’s and Cracker Barrel” signs. People also do not have the kinds of family support that were commonly available 20-30 years ago– we are more fragmented now and baby boomers are not like their parents who retired with good pensions and had a more service oriented outlook.
Anyway, I felt I needed to comment because I am seeing more and more scorn directed at people with very limited resources and it disturbs me because the economy did not crash d/t the activity of poor people; it made more poor people, caused a liveable wage job scarcity and has smothered demand d/t high fuel prices and inflation.
themiddleme
I had credit cards before the bank bailouts happened and I had an APR with each one of a certain percentage and a set amount due every month. I was in good standing with all of my accounts. After the bailouts, banks started sending letters saying they would be raising the APR’s and thus make it impossible for me to actually keep up with payments. They chose to change the contract arbitrarily. So I went from good standing with a good credit rating to being unable to pay, pretty much overnight. But I’d be seen as “irresponsible” because the banks should be allowed to enter into an agreement with a consumer and change it at will and too bad for the consumer, right? Isn’t that a little bit one-sided?
My niece had a Coach bag because she was married to a man who was well off, but they got divorced and he took every dime out of their joint bank account (which is legal since it’s joint) and left her literally without a penny to take care of their young son (1 yr old). So yeah she had a Coach bag but she was having to apply for food stamps and government help. She eventually got a settlement in court where the father had to pay her back a portion of the money he took, but most of their money had been spent by him on lawyer and court fees.
You never know the whole story.
Crystal
@ Kathy G –
AMEN. I’ll say it again – AMEN.
themiddleme
Christine, I actually think it has everything to do with pride. It’s the Pharisee in the temple saying, “Thank you God that I’m not like THAT guy!” and the man at the back of the temple who is humble and does not come to the front. You’re really saying, “I’m proud that I don’t feel entitled, while others do.” There but for the grace of God go you. ” You said: “it is wrong to have the mentality that one should be ENTITLED to other people’s money.” Those who feel entitled are usually criminals who take by force, not by going in and following legal means of obtaining help. Most people who have had to take help from anyone feel incredibly ashamed of needing it, but again, you may one day be one of those people and it is not by your husband’s doing or your doing that you were able to “squeak by” but by God’s allowing you both to have the ability to work and a job available and money to come in. Is it not God who gives you life and breath everyday, or is it yourself who creates and continues your existence? Do you thank God that you are not like the person who wanted a certain brand of OJ because you aren’t picky? Do you feel “better” than the girl with the Coach bag who complains about not having enough money for fun stuff? You compare yourself to others and you do look down on them and say they have a wrong sense of entitlement. Maybe you should look at yourself and see whether you have a sense of entitlement to be judging them. Does God love them any less? Should you?
Christine
1) No, I do not feel “better” than anyone that receives assistance.
2) Even when my husband and I were unemployed…we shared what we had with others.
I have known many people in my life that felt like someone else was responsible for their well being…and have even gone as far to say so. That, to me, is wrong. Do I want a child to starve? Of course not!
Yes, as Christians it is our duty to help others, and I take every opportunity to do so, whether it be buying a meal for someone a meal or showing them a way to make some money, or save. Personally (as mentioned above), I do as much as I can to help others. When my family had zero in our bank account (which was true for most of a year), we relied on our faith that God would provide. I left most of that detail out, because some get riled up about any mention of faith.
Yes, God provided us opportunity to earn money and keep us alive…and we are incredibly grateful for that.
Again, I was talking about the people who REFUSE to make simple changes…like choosing not to buy expensive items. You don’t need an iPhone or a phone with a pricey contract service to get a job. I was speaking on behalf of my own experiences and mentioned plenty of times that these examples did not apply to everyone.
I am sorry if I came across as uncaring and rude. I was merely stating that some that I have come across drain the system as much as possible. I was not making a generalization of those receiving assistance.
Sabrina
Christine, There are people who abuse EVERY system, no matter what system it is. All we can do is do the best we can and not look down on others, no matter what their situation is. The fact is, there but for God’s grace, go any of us. It does nothing to point out how some people abuse “the system.” It doesn’t glorify God and it doesn’t make any positive contribution to this or any other conversation. Abuse of the system is not what we are taking about here. My mother was the co-director of the Food Bank in our town for over 20 years and heard stories from people, from all walks of life that would break your heart. a LOT of the people who came through the doors were the working poor. Not migrant workers or fast food workers but, sometimes, educated people who fell on unexpected difficulty. Everyone DOES have the right to be fed. We have no idea what anyone’s story is and none of us have the right to sit in judgement.
Carole
Christine, you are very gracious in your replies. May you continue on in your faith and in giving to others.
Maureen
Sigh, this is very frustrating to read through and I do agree with your main point. My elderly mother worked her entire life until her mid 60’s and received $20 in food stamps after my Dad died last year. A case of someone who was in need receiving a minimal amount as she cut out on most other luxuries to remain independent. On the other side of the coin, is a close relative who has used drugs his entire adult life (he is 50) and as a result has a health disability due to chronic use. He receives a significant amount in both disability benefits and food stamps while last month my mother’s benefits were taken away. I am constantly seeing FB updates showing him out to eat at restaurants and other luxuries because he does have a sense of entitlement. I “get it”…..and have no issue at all with you speaking your thoughts nor do I believe you are looking down on an entire group.
Jennifer
Ladies, I ask this only from an outsider perspective. Can we ask God for grace in dealing with one another? I know from His word that He will give us grace. From all that I read, I completely understand where Christine is coming from. She is just making a point that THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE of the system in place. She is not judging. Sometimes I think it is good as women to take a step back before responding. IF you are getting worked up or feeling slighted by someones comments, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself. Why am I feeling slighted? Am I frustrated with my own situation? Ect. I do not believe that Christine was maliciously attacking poor people. In fact, she said she has been there. She has struggled, and she just chose a different path. Does she deserve the chastisement brought upon her for choosing another path? Does she deserve to be treated like she thinks she is elite, when in fact NOTHING she has stated has proven that to be a part of her character? Her heart just wants to help people. Everyone is entitled to their views. AND as Christian women we need to cut each other some slack. We allow our emotions to get too caught up in things. Instead of giving each other grace, we become like rabid biting dogs. Seriously our tongue/words can be a serious deadly weapon to fellow sisters in Christ. If you feel like you are slighted or that someone has offended you, PRAY FOR THEM and also Pray for yourself. Do not allow the Devil to 1. steal your joy or 2. use your words to tear down the body of Christ. We are supposed to be walking in Unity. It does not matter the distance between us in physical space, UNITY IS KEY. And if this is not clear enough, if you have nothing nice to say, age old saying…. DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. Christine I can see your heart and where you are coming from. I pray that others will give you the benefit of the doubt that you are not out to beat them up with your words. I just get disappointed when I see people not walking in love, or with grace for others. That seems to be a larger problem than even organic food or food period. I mean when the disciples went to all the trouble to get Jesus food in John Chptr 4, but were insensitive to the needs of Jesus’ real ministry, were they not chastised by him for that? He said to them the food was his father’s ministry. And what is the ministry of the Father? Seeking and saving the lost. Please let us remember that and lift each other up positively, not to become a stumbling block for our sisters because of our own desires to prove a point out of our own offenses. I encourage you all to read the Bait of Satan. It is a powerful study that discusses the topic of Offense and how this has really torn apart the body of Christ. Interesting stuff. 🙂
Beside this, I am a SAHM with two children. My husband is an enlisted soldier and we have a very small income. I supplement by working as the worship leader at our Army chapel. But it is still difficult at times to make ends meet. For the time being, I really had to humble myself to take WIC. I was so against it because of my pride, and not wanting to be on government assistance. But even with that being said, what we can use on WIC is very limited. We are a GF diet family. I am thankful for the ability to use WIC for this time, as it has helped. But I look forward to a day when we will not have to use it. Even more so difficult because of where we are stationed overseas, we do not have a lot of GF resources available to us. At times we have to live almost as vegetarians… using vegetables as replacement for pasta or rice. OR using bananas and eggs to make pancakes that way they do not contain flour. Even when we have had GF items, they are very very expensive. So I have to budget around things to be able to treat my kids from time to time. I am thankful for the German economy. They have at times more reasonable prices for BIO or as you all refer to…. organic items. I try my best to buy most of my produce there and usually I save money. I will miss this when we move back to the states.
Pat
Amen
Kathy Ruder
Some folks have nothing more that they can cut out….and aren’t in a situation that they can do work for neighbors, etc. Those that are on food stamps, etc that carry the “luxuries” are: A) defrauding the system and earning money they are not reporting B) selling drugs (see A) C. Have received the item in question as a gift from someone D) Don’t have cable and such and rely on the cell phone (free with contract) to stay in contact with others. I’ve lived within the system and it’s not anywhere near as generous as people make it out to be (at least not in PA, anyway). It’s very hard to budget and live on what the food stamp program deems enough to feed the family. Unfortunately, fraud/lies are a big problem in that realm. And a lot of people do it just so they can continue to qualify…because otherwise, they couldn’t make it. Sad. I went through a JTPA program in the 80’s. Many of the girls I graduated with didn’t go on to get jobs…because they would have lost the state health coverage and would have been without insurance (and needed it). Imagine that choice…job or keeping health coverage? The bad is those who are truly lazy/dishonest who get on it just to get the handout. What they don’t realize is that the handout comes with a price…that of their self-esteem. There is something wonderful about earning what one has and the pride of putting food on the table that beats any handout. The assistance programs are wonderful to help people who need it….the major modification needed is to require that they DO something to get it (besides paperwork which is a real pain).
Namey
Everyone pays taxes (some people may not be charged income tax because their income is too low, but they still pay sales tax when they make purchases), and everyone is certainly entitled to get that back in the form of assistance when needed. “Relying” on the government and making use of government systems that we all participate in together for a purpose are two different ways of looking at the same thing. We all spend the money, there’s nothing wrong with getting it back if you need it. That’s what it’s for.
Geni
Thank you for your post! We never really know others circumstances–especially just by looking at outward appearances. Many years ago when my children were 1 and 3 my husband went home to mother. Needless to say it was a difficult time. But God blessed and after 2 years of nursing school I graduated as an RN. I no longer needed to depend on food stamps, or other government aid and I have never had to use them sense! I am happy for that but it has given me a new and more compassionate view of those who need this help. Your post brought back memories, We still all need each other for many reasons regardless of our economic standing. I have come to understand that those who are most intolerant of those who need help are such because they have never been in similar situations.
Erin
Walking in someone else’s shoes and understanding their circumstances can be eye opening.
Kathy Ruder
Sad experience is…some of those who HAVE struggled and gone through extreme poverty and such and come out of it are often those with the most hateful attitudes towards those who are on “welfare”. 🙁
Rachel Norman
I think it is notable and admirable that you found a way to feed without simply charging it all. Buying all organic is completely impossible for the average person, we mothers have enough guilt!
Emily
Thank you so much for writing this! So many moms need to hear it. After reading so many health/real food blogs, I’ve become educated on what’s better to eat—which is great—but I’ve also felt guilt for not being able to carry through with the knowledge I have and actually purchase all organic items.
I lived in an affluent suburb of San Francisco (as a non-affluent family) and I dreaded going and using my WIC checks at Safeway. The cashiers always were the opposite of discreet and the wealthy people in line behind me seemed so annoyed I was making their line take longer. I was always afraid I would see a wealthy parent I knew (I taught at a preschool at the time on a part-time basis) and have them see me.
I was prideful, I know. For people saying here we shouldn’t be ashamed, and questioning why moms feel that way, we *know* we shouldn’t feel that way. It’s simply hard not to!
Sharing this on my Facebook page. Thank you so much!
themiddleme
There’s shame because there’s judgement out there. Everyone who sees someone on food stamps is so SURE that it will not happen to them or that they would never take from anyone else. In the meantime they are borrowing from the bank and have mortgages and car payments and health insurance (which are all just examples of people actually using other people’s money in a set scheme and using a company to handle the rules and transactions.) Would the same people who look down on people on government assistance call 911 in the event of an emergency or would they say, “No, I don’t take other people’s help! I’m not going to feel all entitled to have the police or fire department come because it’s paid for by others!” That’s never gonna happen.
Kathy Ruder
Preach it, sister!
Hannah
Public services are not “paid for by others” they are paid by us. My husband and I pay over 40% of our annual income in taxes to help provide those services. So no…we won’t feel like we are taking a hand out when we have to call the fire department.
Millie
Hannah, even the lowest income citizens in North America pay taxes. A small number may pay no INCOME tax, but all pay sales taxes on food and other goods and services, and, to governments, government agencies, or contractors to government, most residents also pay many taxes of one sort or another that are just not generally labelled taxes.
Any adults who manage to subsist (in poverty for almost any length of time, health doesn’t survive, so I won’t say “to survive”), or to hang on to life by a thread, without contributing any of that to the public kitty have (likely both the abilities and) an income incomparably less than that of a couple of adults who, unlike many impoverished residents, not only have the privilege of sharing and splitting living expenses, but also have the abilities to earn an income large enough to “pay over 40%” of their annual income in taxes. (And I am assuming that you do mean 40% of your income plus 40% of your spouse’s income, not 20% of yours plus 20% of his, which would equal 20% of the total income.)
(Also, a lot of North American residents who are paying taxes equivalent to 40% of their income own, in addition, inheritances, investments, and other assets, not to mention healthy retirement savings mechanisms.)
Privilege is having the abilities and other means (often including suitable education) to earn one’s own way, to earn the needs of one’s household (including having all the necessary means of meeting one’s health influencing needs, meeting some of the wants of one’s household, and meetings one’s retirement needs), and then to in addition still contribute to the collective good, to the public good, and to the sustenance (and ideally to the full health and full development of) those individuals who for a variety of reasons and variety of combinations of reasons lack the health or other abilities and resources to be economically more self sufficient. Many people would count such abilities, means, and resources to earn enough to do all that as privilege and blessing. And some (including many through no fault of their own, and some through little) can only hope to know such privilege and blessing.
Kathy
What irks me most re: this whole food stamps conundrum is the fact that junk food is eligible for purchase! Soda, koolaid, chips, candy etc. Yet you can’t purchase a hot meal from the deli! No precooked HOT food, but if that same food is leftover from the day before & is chilled, it’s ok on food stamps. You can buy a cold sub, but not a hot one. Popcorn, chocolate, ‘juice drinks’ are all ok. If this practice would end there would be enough $$$ for all of us in the program coffers. My hubby & I live below poverty & he has a job, BUT two weeks of his salary go to pay for our medical insurance. He is of retirement age, but our daughter & I aren’t & need the ins. I am unable to work any longer & have been waiting many months for Disability approval & now that our gov’t is shut down I’ll probably wait many more months. Sorry, but I needed to vent! When our kids were young there were times that hubby had to go with the 5 gallon gas can to the local home oil company to get enough fuel oil to heat the house for a couple days. I know where y’all are coming from. I empathize with you. God bless us all!
Lisa @ Farm Fresh
Commenting on your “vent”–I’ve always believed that food stamps should NOT be allowed for purchasing things like pop, chips, ice cream, etc…those are NOT necessities…and if I remember right, it didn’t used to be allowed back when they really were “stamps”. Bread, cheese, milk, baking supplies, beans, rice, pasta, fruit, vegetables, tortillas and similar items…absolutely! But the “extras”? I truly don’t think they should be covered. But that is just my opinion obviously…but I wanted to chime in since you mentioned it.
Kathy Ruder
I agree too….they should be set up like WIC to buy the basics. I guess however, they think that’s being discriminatory somehow, telling people what to eat.
Namey
It is not because it is in any way discriminatory. Items like multivitamins are often not purchasable – no one was afraid to exclude that. The real reason is GMO soy, corn and wheat companies have successfully lobbied for subsidies to keep junk food falsely cheap and available to all. Produce farmers who grow good, real food have not had the same aggressive tactics (and often do not have billions to work with in the first place). It has more to do with companies like Coca-Cola striking corrupt deals than with “freedom.”
Millie
Hannah, even the lowest income citizens in North America pay taxes. A small number may pay no INCOME tax, but all pay SALES taxes on food and other goods and services, and, to governments, government agencies, or contractors to government, most residents also pay many taxes of one sort or another that are just not generally labelled taxes.
Any adults who manage to subsist (in poverty for almost any length of time, health doesn’t survive, so I won’t say “to survive”), or to hang on to life by a thread, without contributing any of that to the public kitty have (likely both the abilities and) an income incomparably less than that of a couple of adults who, unlike many impoverished residents, not only have the privilege of sharing and splitting living expenses, but also have the abilities to earn an income large enough to “pay over 40%” of their annual income in taxes. (And I am assuming that you do mean 40% of your income plus 40% of your spouse’s income, not 20% of yours plus 20% of his, which would equal 20% of the total income.)
(Also, a lot of North American residents who are paying taxes equivalent to 40% of their income own, in addition, inheritances, investments, and other assets, not to mention healthy retirement savings mechanisms.)
Privilege is having the abilities and other means (often including suitable education) to earn one’s own way, to earn the needs of one’s household (including having all the necessary means of meeting one’s health influencing needs, meeting some of the wants of one’s household, and meeting one’s retirement needs), and then to in addition still contribute to the collective good, to the public good, and to the sustenance (and ideally to the full health and potential of) those individuals who for a variety of reasons and variety of combinations of reasons lack the health or other abilities and resources to be economically more self sufficient. Many people would count such abilities, means, and resources to earn enough to do all that as privilege and blessing. And some (including many through no fault of their own, and some through little) can only hope to know such privilege and blessing — for many, ever.
Jennifer
Dear beautiful mama, hold your head high for doing the BEST you can with what you have! God always gives us what we need when we need it, His timing is alway perfect. Thank you for caring enough about your family to try! Where I’m from food stamps and wic are abused and a way of life for so many, but you, beautiful mama, have done the best you could with what you had. I applaud you and your family for trying so hard to only put good things in your bodies. God bless you and yours!
Siné
My family has been there and it was hard. Do what you can to feed your brood as well as you can. One of the things I did when we couldn’t afford organic produce was try to buy vegetables and fruits that are part of the “Clean 15”. It alleviated my guilt by a lot.
Lisa @ Farm Fresh
Excellent suggestion! I make the same to anyone who wants to make better informed choices–try to eat the cleanest on the list…and then watch for the Dirty Dozen in the organic section when they go on sale or if you have a bit extra some month.
Monica Kirby
Thank you, Erin!
Linda St. Laurent
Stacy makes cents has a great article on his also. I think she calls it Poorganic. I appreciate both of your perspectives! I don’t just feel judged by the food I buy anymore but if I don’t prepare it correctly that’s another strike against me. It’s really funny how food has become so controversial. It just seems like in every area of our lives we fight against each other. Food, childbirth , discipline, breastfeeding….makes me so sad.
Erin
I love Stacy and her blog. She always has great ideas.
Jessica Ballard
Thank you Erin! Spot on post. We need to embrace each other and support each other. Humbled before each other and our God. Grace with all of us. If we are compassionate towards others, it will open our eyes and our hearts.
heather
Wow! This is the article that I hear in my head every single day. I am a sahm to 4 kids and we live on a very limited income. Our grocery budget is less than $400 a month. While I would love to buy all organic, it’s just not possible on our budget. Thank you for voicing what I feel all the time.
Terri
I too live in an higher end neighborhood here in Charlotte. Last year my husband lost his job and we had some major medical expenses that we were not expecting. I had to go to the office and apply for anything I could get. I hated it. I knew exactly what blog post you were referring to as I felt the same way after reading that. I have had to stop reading many blogs about healthy eating because it causes me way more stress than it should. Grocery shopping should not cause anxiety attacks, but there have been many times it has. My husband is now working and I am working over night doing something I never thought in a million years I would be doing. Thank you for sharing this post. It was exactly what I needed to hear and I needed it today.
Shannon
Bravo! I think we ALL needed this, no matter where we are financially. It is too easy to put guilt on ourselves for not doing things perfectly. And as for THAT POST, the first time I read it my jaw dropped. When I mastered coupons I could feed our family of SEVEN for under $75 per week. We buy mostly whole foods now (not necessarily organic) and I spend a bit more. If I’m really pinching pennies, I can still feed all of us for less than $600 per month. That’s SEVEN people-including two adults and two teenagers!
Thank you for all you do.
Shalaina S
I’ve never thought to ask anyone this, but I figured since you said you mastered couponing that you wouldn’t mind. Do you have any tips for someone just starting with couponing? As it stands now the only coupons we use are ones I happen to find for stuff we already eat. It seems like most coupons are for things my family either doesn’t eat/need or are attached to extra products we don’t like.
Jessica W
Google “bargains to bounty”! It’s a great resource to find sales/coupons by “store” and a wonderful resource for a newbie couponer!! Happy Shopping 😀
Shannon
The trick to couponing is matching coupons to sales. There are several sites that do most of the work for you based on specific grocery stores. I use SoutherSavers most, but you would need to find a site that lists the stores in your area. Generally, you can’t be brand specific. You have to be willing to try new things and make trade-offs. You have to start small to keep from getting overwhelmed and realize that it will take time to build your “stockpile”.
It should be noted that I don’t use coupons as much anymore because we don’t eat many processed foods anymore. I do still use the couponing sites to match coupons on household items and to find the best deals on produce, dairy and meats.
Jennifer Turner
after reading this I wanted to give you a big hug 😀
Thank you for writing it
Jennifer S.
Thank you, Erin, for this post. I’m a stay at home mom to eight children. My husband works two sometimes three jobs to make ends meet. I know eating organic would be so much better, but we simply can’t afford it. What I do do is to make as much of our food from scratch as possible. I figure whole foods though non-organic have to be so much better for us than convenience food besides which they are much cheaper. There’s no shame in taking assistance if you need it. Thank you for being so transparent.
themiddleme
I doubt there has ever been a human alive who has not needed the help of someone else at some point. There’s way too much condemnation out there.
Jamie
Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to hear there are others in our same situation. My husband has been laid off twice in the last 5 years. I have 3 kids that I am homeschooling. I was a teacher before we had kids. My husband has gone back to school and has earned a 2nd Bachelor’s degree and is working on his MBA. He works every bit of overtime that is offered and is ridiculously tired due to OT and homework. We had NO money for groceries and decided to apply for food stamps. We qualified for $400/month. I know it seems like a lot but it was still a tight budget for a family of 5 in our area. I was thankful for the help but still so very embarrassed every time I had to use the card. What would people think of me? Especially when I purchased organic food with the card. Would they judge me for buying more expensive food even though it was healthier? It was truly a humbling experience that I have NEVER spoken to anyone about until now. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes as I write this….it was an emotional experience. My husband finally found a better paying job and we do not qualify anymore. I am thankful. Our budget is still VERY tight and I make EVERYTHING from scratch. Some days I wish I could just buy the bread, rolls, soup, etc already made but, I know in the long run, this is better for my family. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Alena@TheHomemadeCreative
I feel your pain. I try to buy organic or as close to it as possible as often as possible, on our food stamps, and I am always half terrified heading to check out. I’ve had some people make nasty rude comments to me, or about me loudly in line, and it’s always been on the days that I have super healthy stuff up there (vs the days I might get my husband soda or ice cream, if we can afford it). It’s like they not only want to hate me because I’m “stealing other people’s hard earned money” (despite the fact that my husband works full time, and I’m disabled – we pay taxes, thanks a bunch), but they love to hate me even more if I dare do it and opt out of getting crap food. WE CAN’T WIN!!! :'(
elaina
HUGS! Awesome post! Thanks! Much love and appreciation!
Shalaina S
I LOVE this post. Unfortunately there have been times where my family has needed both food stamps and WIC. When my oldest daughter was born I was only 19 and my husband 21. I tried breastfeeding, but it was too painful. I didn’t know about lactation consultants and my mom couldn’t help because she didn’t nurse me. So, even though my husband and I both had decent jobs, we each worked for a bank, formula was killing our budget, in addition to all of the other new baby needs. I was so embarassed I would let people get in line ahead of me before I made my WIC purchase. It wasn’t until years later that we needed food stamps. I had gone back to school full time and was no longer working. My husband lost his employment so I picked up two part time jobs to get us through, but unfortunately for a family of 3 going on 4 that was not enough. I can say that we are blessed enough for my husband to again be employed and I can be a SAHM, but our budget is still tight. While we no longer need food stamps, or any other government assistance I still cringe when I hear the judgemental statements about those who do. Everyone’s situation is different and not all people who are receiving help are trying to bleed the system dry.
Alena@TheHomemadeCreative
Thank you for your kind words, about those on the system from necessity. A previous commentor made me cry, with her judgemental attitude.
Pam
Very nice! Yes, judgement hurts. I recently got into a political discussion with a family member and was basically scolded for “freeloading off the government” and “how could you take advantage of the taxpayers’ money like that” when we qualified for the reduced price school lunch program while my husband was unemployed. Well, I work full time and I AM a taxpayer. These programs are meant to help good hardworking people, so why would I not take advantage of a little financial help from the government, especially when it comes to feeding my children? Plus, there was no way I could make home made packed breakfast AND lunch for 40 cents per day. That’s the price of a piece of fruit. Now I think karma is getting back to this family member as she now has a kiddo in school all day and is complaining about “how much is costs to feed these kids” when they are not at home. Hee hee.
Bonnie
I have been there before and am close to there now! God’s promise is to supply our need. While organic is a need for some, it is a desire for the rest of us! Pride was/is a continueing struggle for both my husband and I. There was one Christmas when both of us were working, we were on food stamps, and both of our family hand-me-down clunker cars died within a week of each other. Anonymous friends from church paid our electric bill, dropped of groceries,and raised enough money to help pay to repair one car. Another man’s company decided to supply Christmas for our son (he was our only at the time). I have never felt so humbled/blessed /overwhelmed/ loved/ guilty/amazed in my life. Grace looks different for each of us…and it abounds!
Rebecca
It was a good read. Very “real.” It didn’t sit well with me that she spoke out of shame about applying for food stamps. Yes, they are taken advantage of. Yes, some people are lazy in attempting to provide for themselves that are on FS. But I didn’t like that she felt that she had to justify her application and that she was so relieved when they didn’t qualify. We’ve been on and off of FS and WIC depending on need, and are GRATEFUL that it is offered to those in need. We pay into the system that provides this service, and while I do not feel “entitled” to it, I don’t feel ashamed to utilize it when the need is there. I feel that to “run out of grocery money at the end of the month because of spending too much money on organic foods” could also be viewed the same light as running out of grocery money because of being too prideful to accept assistance when needed. BUT besides that, I loved how encouraging the article was towards doing the “best” you can do for your family at any given time. So many mommas, including me!, need this word that organic is not the ONLY healthy option; that we needn’t feel guilty for providing for our wee ones in how we can. Loved that. 🙂
Rebecca
But please note: I LOVED this post!! It is SO needed. >I< need this post! But I am not ashamed of receiving assistance when it has been genuinely needed in the past. I feel that while this article WILL GREATLY encourage moms (like me!) concerning the "pressure" to buy organic everything, it could also discourage moms who genuinely need federal aid. <3 So was it really necessary to imply that recipients of FS don't have a college education? I'm sure you probably didn't INTEND it that way, but more so that you were just being honest about how YOU felt in that situation. But I'm sure I couldn't be the only one taken a-back by that statement. Thanks for listening! Love your writings so! 🙂
Erin
I’m so sorry that part offended you, Rebecca! I agree that we *shouldn’t* feel ashamed about it. But I did. I guess I don’t so much anymore or I wouldn’t have shared it with so many people! Ha! 😉 But I guess I was trying to paint a picture of my pride–and how I was humbled. Thanks for reading!
Erin
Also, I personally think it’s a BIG MYTH that people who choose to use some form of government aid to get through a tough time are “lazy” or “don’t work.” I guess I was trying to show how I was humbled and a family–our family–that was working our butts off and still needed some help.
Rebecca
Oh, Erin, I REALLY hope my sharing my concern on how I felt Food Stamps is portrayed in this article did not cause you distress! I REALLY hope that my words of agreement, encouragement, and support were heard just as loud! And I severely hope that my bringing up my concern for how I believe it was portrayed was not what led you to write your most recent FB status. I actually was NOT offended, but concerned. Concerned that one could feel that accepting aid was shameful. Humbling, quite so. But not shameful. And I gathered it wasn’t your intention – so I wanted to bring it to light, that’s all! Reading your FB status, I felt terrible wondering if I was one of “those” because that was never my intention.
Erin
No, not at all. I didn’t think that. I just want to make sure that people clearly understand my intentions. Thank you!!
Alena@TheHomemadeCreative
Rebecca, you’re definitely not the only one taken aback at the implications about education. I consider myself fairly well-educated, and knowledgeable about nutrition, too, and was personally rather hurt by the implication. Was it intended? I doubt it. I think she was likely using it as an example her pride getting in the way. But…I think pride isn’t gone, from the overall tone. I don’t mean that meanly! I agree with your statement about pride coming both ways, for why one might run out of food at the end of the month. And it ignored that fact that for some – many, even – we might run out of money for food before the month’s out because there’s simply not enough money to begin with, with or without federal assistance.
Alena@TheHomemadeCreative
And Erin, to add after reading your posts in reply to Rebecca, I do think it was unintentional, and simply your way to indicate the pride that was hurting at the time. I thought the points you were making are good, and it’s not your problem if others disagree with your conclusions.
Christine
Thank you so much for writing this and for being so vulnerable. I am sure you blessed MANY people, including me.
Lori
Thank you SO much for sharing your truth.
Nicole
If you are moved by this brave and honest piece, please consider contacting your elected representatives. Thanks to a cruel misunderstanding and public ridicule of the “types of people” who need help making ends meet and feeding their families, our leaders are trying to cut 40 Billion dollars from federal feeding assistance programs like SNAP and WIC among others, which provide an important though imperfect support for hard working American families and people who have fallen on hard times. We must resist these cuts, which will make it even more difficult for even more families to provide very basic nutrition for their families. We have a collective obligation to do MORE, not less, to help good people who are trying to feed their families and make healthy food choices. The vast majority of people who go through the humbling process of seeking food assistance are not moochers or low lives — they are honorable people trying to cope with tough times and provide for their children. Feeding assistance programs have the lowest fraud rate (<1%) of all gov't programs. They also already have robust work requirements for able-bodied adults, which some states have waived during the unemployment crisis to prevent people from starving to death.
Our programs are not perfect — but that is largely because the cut off at too low an income level, preventing women like the author from accessing even small supplements in times of need. Again, this proves that we need to invest more and not slash these vital programs and that we should work to improve the quality of food available to WIC participants. There is also, of course, a place for charity, church and community support for struggling families. But individual generosity cannot substitute for a comprehensive safety net — it is too piecemeal and not equally available to everyone. We all need more security than that.
Remember, most people would rather not be on or stay on these programs — but they force themselves to swallow their pride when they really need it and they are thrilled to be able to unenroll. Today, I am an agricultural and food lawyer and professor, but I, too, have been on food stamps at an earlier time in my life and know these struggles personally – not just professionally.
And finally, if you think we can't afford to invest in help our neighbors access adequate nutrition, consider the long term, societal costs of hunger outlined in the report linked below.
http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/poverty/report/2010/05/24/7743/feeding-opportunity/
Alena@TheHomemadeCreative
EXCELLENT!!! 🙂
Kathy Ruder
If there were a LIKE button here, I would have clicked it!
Daniele @ Domestic Serenity
Another beautiful post Erin….
Thanks for your courage and honesty. God DOES provide!
Asiyah
This was a marvelous post! I am a whole foods person except that since having had the last two children have been unable to afford meat other than fish occasionally. No complaint. Fortunately, I was vegetarian for approximately 11 years so I am adept at nutritional balancing for the family. We also buy organic for certain items and am greatful for Florida living as a fruit tree is not very far away to add to the mix. I dohave one observation though about those who have blogged about beating the foodstamp budget. Often I have found that they do not have stamps that they just use the figures. Not all farmers markets accept the foodstamps. Two, they often have vehicles to get them to many different stores to take advantage of the sales. When traveling by the local transit system your time and space is too valuable. Also, region becomes extremely important. I have seen some people pay between 2 and 3 dollars for organic eggs when in a right to work state the organic eggs are 5 dollars a dozen. Again, remember that the farmer selling them does not except the foodstamp card. Now, I am definately greatful for the availabililty of what we do have. If it wasn’t for the local pantries and bread give aways we wouldn’t do so well. God does provide. We even pray for cleaner food and He does bring it to our availability on many occasions. Just wanted others to know that some of the well meaning bloggers may not really have the same set up as the others and to keep that in mind.
Tara
Thank you so much for this post. As a stay at home mom to one toddler, living in an affluent community in South Florida it seems that my husband and I are constantly bombarded with judgement for our choices. We do not qualify for food stamps but do get WIC and I can say I agree with everything you felt about having to use assistance. The most comforting thing about this post was that it helped me not to feel so alone. Where I live and the groups I have been around it seems that everyone finds it strange that I would chose to stay home with my daughter when we can barely afford groceries. It seems strange to them that I drop my husband off at a local commuter train which he takes part of the way to his work and then rides a bike the rest of the way because we cannot afford another car. I often feel that I am doing something wrong because of people’s hurtful comments or well meant intentions. Thank you for reminding me again that I am not alone in our situation. God has called me to stay at home and raise our daughter and any sacrafices that we must make will be worth it. This post really meant alot to me. Thank you for your transparency.
Ema
Thank you Erin, for posting this. I just cried a little.
You see, I’m a homesteader at heart. I’m the kind of girl who, at other times, has sewed her own clothes, raised her own produce, canned her own food, and who wants to learn to keep bees, raise a milk cow, grow an orchard, and compound and sell herbal remedies. What am I doing right now?
I’m in school, and I work two jobs. I live in an apartment with some dirt outside the front window from which I have coaxed herbs and tomatoes. And I’m expecting my first child in less than a week. When I brought home my WIC vouchers I didn’t know whether to be grateful or ashamed. I read all those real food blogs too. I know why you’re not supposed to drink 2% CAFO milk. Or eat cereal. I’ve wrestled with this a lot over the past 9.5 months. And I need some grace.
So thank you for telling me I’m not the only one.
Allison
Thank you. I loved this post and honesty and your putting it all out there. I applaud you. And thank you for last week’s post about not having failed at childbirth – i responded to that too.
Thank you.
Andrea
Thank you, thank you. I have been RIGHT there. Thankfully I have friends who have been there with me. My husband works full time and goes to school, I stay home with the babies while I work on my masters. One day we WILL be OK. But for now, this is where we are at.
JB
This immensely blessed me! My husband and I are both educated, both intelligent people – struggling to make ends meet for our family. WIC and $200/month has gotten us through. But it’s incredibly humbling and incredibly difficult. I especially loved the part about going to the store to get your WIC checks on the “off hours”. We too go to a grocer in a more affluent area to use our checks and let me tell you, I have pulled in and pulled right back out more times than I care to mention when that parking lot was full. I found taking the kids with me helps distract me from all the condescending looks I imagine I’m getting from the people who can really afford to shop there (since we only go to use our WIC checks).
Cassie
Thanks Erin, for this honest and heartfelt post! So many people are afraid to seek help because of the ones that abuse the system and have created social labels for everyone else. But, if you need the help, get it! I was on WIC with our 1st child, and felt the shame, but at the same time I knew it was the only way my baby would get the nourishment he needed. (I could not breastfeed–long story!) 🙂
We grow our own vegetables–can or freeze them, but sometimes they don’t last all year. (with a family of 5 eating & sometimes the harvest isn’t that great because of too much/too little rain…like this year-too much!) People need to remember too that just because it says “organic” it may not be what you think. I know A LOT of farmers. 😉 Organic to me is eggs from our chickens, veggies from our garden, and fruit picked from a tree. Blessing to all the mamas that are doing the best they can!
Stacy @ A Delightful Home
Wonderful post, Erin! Thank you for sharing. Many of us have been (or are currently in) the same situation.
It helps to have someone share what it is like.
God bless.
Jenn M.
That’s why programs like SNAP and WIC are so important. They help people, they don’t provide them incentive to stop working. That’s what harmful rhetoric wants you to believe. They want you to be ashamed for seeking assistance of any kind. But you know what? Our tax dollars go into those programs so that if we find that we need the help, we get it. We pay into the system so that it can cushion us during those hard times.
I’ve never needed SNAP or WIC, but I sure was glad to have unemployment for a couple of months back in 2000.
lyss
Totally agree. While I’ve never applied for food stamps, I have been the recipient of medicaid/chip. We had no health insurance during my pregnancies; we just self-paid the birthing center. But my 2nd came unexpectedly premature, resulting in a cesarean delivery and a 5 week NICU stay. Needless to say, we did not have the hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay those bills! Turned out we qualified for assistance. We felt bad, but even our pastor agreed that our taxes pay for it, so we may as well accept it instead of drowning ourselves in a sea of medical bill debt.
Leigh J.
I completely LOVE this article. It really hit home with me. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. We try to buy Organic, but I will not break the bank trying to afford it. I feed my family the best making things from scratch. I TRULY appreciate this article. It makes a lot of us feel like we are not alone.
Mollie
Thank you for this post! I think we mamas tend to set the bar impossibly high for ourselves, and when things aren’t Pinterest project perfect, we come down hard with the guilt & shame. However, as a mama who has lived through WIC appointments & food stamps while living with endocrine cancer … I have to say, buying organic does make a difference, and it CAN be done. I haven’t gotten our family to the 100% mark, but we do well with $150-200 every two weeks for a family of 7. We grow our own, we buy local when we can’t buy organic, and I coupon like crazy. When our budget was less than we work with now, I did some research on the items to always buy organic and focused on those until we could branch out to more organic items. I figured out how to stack coupons at Whole Foods AND buy wholesale lots there (also using my coupons at check out).
All that is to say, it’s a LOT of work – but it’s doable when you have easy access to transportation and live near major stores that accept coupons. I don’t know how we would have managed if we ever lived in a rural area with no Wal-Mart.
Mrs. Abella
I totally get it. We make a $200 cash budget stretch for a family of 5. My husband is disabled, our children are special needs (combined family), and we don’t have cable/satellite/iphones/you name it, our vehicles have seen better days and have high miles, we cut back as far as we can go to make a small budget last. In order for me to be able to stay home, I cut the laundry bill–no washer and dryer or laundrymat, but instead wash by hand on an old fashioned washboard and line dry year round. I make a lot of our clothing, mend the holes, fix waist bands/hems/you name it. I cook from scratch, using lots of rice, veggies as we can get them, freeze/preserve from our garden to last, grow herbs to season, meat to flavor, soups, breads from scratch, etc. My cleaners are frugal, our yard care is done by us and with least amount of gas for the push mower or end up using the reel mower, the kids don’t buy new toys often, they must help with housework to earn allowance, and so on. We don’t eat organic, there’s no way I can feed 5 with the cost of organics. We eat what’s on sale from the veggie aisle, frozen veggies, whole grains, and so on….we stick to the outter aisles of the stores when possible. We can make that budget stretch, tho it is hard… God provides extras and goodies when He sees fit. I earn extra dollars by selling on Etsy and other venues, but most of my time is wrapped up in doing from scratch/by hand/etc through the day.
Suni
Your comment brought me to tears. You are amazing… may God richly bless you and your dear family.
Kate
I too, love this article. I struggle with balancing a good food/ good budget grocery trip. I try to stick to the dirty dozen list for organic, but, sometimes even that is too much. With real food so expensive now (all of it, not just organic) and I cook all of my families meals, sometimes I almost swallow my tongue when I check out.
I also have respect for you for not quitting your writing job to loose 200$ just so you could qualify for assistance. So many people are content to sit on their butts and do nothing while someone takes care of them. It is situations like yours and so many others that assistance was meant for.
Again, thank you for you heartfelt post.
Sabrina
I wrote a longer comment on your Facebook post about this. Totally stumbled into your blog by accident and I am so glad. I just wanna say “Amen, Mama, we are all just doing the best we can with what we have been given.” Bless you and your sweet family.
ChristineG
What a beautiful, thoughtful, grace-filled post. I know you will bless many mamas with these words. You certainly blessed me. Thank-you for allowing our Lord to speak through you.
Angie
So beautifully stated! We live in a world where we as Moms always feel like we are failing our families in one way or another, from the well meaning statements and ideas of others <3 It's hard in a social networking world to feel like you are as good as the Mom next to you. You see her organic grocery filled cart in a picture next to her smiling kids, as you serve your own child pb&j and feel pangs of guilt. And this goes beyond feeding our kids. It's saturated all aspects of our best parenting motives! We all love our families and do what we can, but as you say, doing our best can at times be humbling, so I appreciate your transparency <3 Thank you for this post! You are doing great, Mama!
Kathy Ruder
Actually, “real” peanut butter isn’t far too expensive and there’s the better jelly…not to mention better bread…so PB and J could be just as good for the child as the pricier convenience organics. 🙂
Heather
THANKS!!!!
Claire Selby pinkdilla
in the same boat! Hugs to you! Thank you for sharing and being so honest
Susan P
Thanks for posting that amazingly awesome post. I have been where you were. I know your pain. I, too, have devoured the books on “how to feed a family on $75 a week” – they are never talking about my family of 6! They never discuss those of us with special diets and food allergies. I’m thankful that we aren’t in quite that position anymore, but we still struggle to be able to afford good quality food even though it’s rarely organic. However, we all do the best we can and support each other in our goals. Thanks so much for sharing. BTW, there is no shame in being poor – if you are being faithful to your calling (no matter what it is) then being poor might be the status God has put you in. Many many times my husband and I have looked at others in our family who seem to have had all the breaks financially and we still struggle, but in the end, it’s only money. We have our health, we have our faith in a gracious God and we have each other. Sometimes God puts us in positions that call for us to need help from others. Instead of being too proud or being shamed by being put in that position, look at it as God is giving the chance for others to show their love for Him through you. Someday you might be in the position to help others and pray that they realize it’s your way of showing love to our gracious Savior who has given us so much.
Beth
Bless you for posting this.
Amanda C.
This made me cry. Im on food stamps and I work 30 hours a week. We have $330 in food stamps and I cant afford to buy anything else because I have to pay rent/insurance/energy/water/gas in my car. One time I commented on a blog how I can only afford to send a lunch to school with my kids twice a week and the other 3 days, they get free lunch. I was bombarded with HATE. This one woman asked how could i be proud of that? I never thought about it. Im not really proud but Im not really ashamed either. Im doing all I can. My grandmother told me that maybe I shouldnt eat healthy as much because its more expensive. But how can I not?
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. Thank you so much.
Bekah C.
Thank you so much for this post! I love natural and organic food, but right now paying the rent and putting food on the table at all is all our budget can handle. I do the best I can, doing all my own cooking and buying food with as little pre-processing as possible. It is God who has provided the money we have. We use the money He has given us as wisely as we can and trust Him to take care of our bodies.
Julie
Yours is the second post in the last year that has addressed this. Thank you. You are definitely not alone. We are a family of six with two children with special needs. My son has a lot of autistic-like qualities that are very exaggerated when he consumes gluten. He is also affected by most of the common allergens. We put him on a gluten-free diet when he was four. He became a very different boy once we got him off gluten and it worked it’s way out of his system. There is no way he can eat gluten. He would be completely unreachable and out of control.
I have health issues and the rest of us have seemingly mild health problems that I have repeatedly read are signs of food allergies. I know we need to clean up our diet but we can’t afford to either. I have been dealing with depression and so has my husband. We eat bad food as comfort. I’ve been trying to read/watch/listen to uplifting things and have been trying to psych myself up to put in the extra effort to eat cleanly. I’ve made baby steps but no where near what I need to be doing.
I’m pretty sick of hearing the “cancer is more expensive” thing too. You’re right. The only thing we can do is use our money as wisely as we possibly can.
Alicia
Thank you so much for these posts. I read this one and the one about having a childbirth go “wrong” and wept both times. Thank you for offering us grace and reminding us that it’s about doing our best with the circumstances that are around us.
Meera
hmmm… totally understand, I have been there until few weeks ago. (Even now for not able to find raw milk in my locality – nevertheless I choose to consume pasteurised milk rather pasteurised CUM homogenised) I found lot of sources on proper food preparation & fermentation methods from Weston A Price foundation (westonaprice.org and refer to Sally Fallon Youtube videos for overall details how these traditional methods improve overall health, immunity & wellbeing.) Not guilty anymore as I am preparing everything from scratch (eliminating any preservatives/ chemical treating which are otherwise found in store bought grains, flours)
Kristen
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this article. Thank you, thank you, thank you, what a blessing. My husband and I are both self employed so we are no stranger to VERY lean months. Add to that my family has very strict dietary requirements (due to food allergies, not preferences) and we struggle. This was just what I needed to read today.
Shannon
Thank you for this encouraging post!
I go over our finances all the time trying to find ways to cut corners so that we don’t have to buy the frozen pizzas or bags of potato chips – We eat lots of veggies and try and limit the very expensive meat (except when it’s on sale) but at the end of the month it’s hard to scrounge together that last bit of food for dinners and lunches. We haven’t even had our first child yet! (he’s due friday supposedly lol)
Organic is insanely expensive. I see a pound of organic apples and instantly calculate how many other non-organic fruits/veggies I could buy for that.
Gotta keep the balance and on those organic sites I take it with a grain of salt.
Thank you!
Crystal
Such a great post! Both about not being able to afford Organic – and the part about how you dealt with government assistance. I’m not sure how we would feed our daughter if it wasn’t for WIC right now – I DID EVERYTHING I could to nurse her, but cannot produce more than 10 oz per day – I continued to supplement nurse her that much til it fell off almost completely. Because of lots of family food allergies she needs a hypoallergenic formula, and we are making ends meet now only with a prayer! Thanks so much for you encouragement to moms that life doesn’t have to look perfect!
Stephanie
THANK YOU for this post! We did collect food stamps for a year while my husband was in grad school, and I understand that feeling of shame that comes from not being able to make it on your own. I feel like so much of the “Real Foodie” community is well-meaning, but totally clueless with regards to how real people live. Thanks again.
Emily
Thank you!!!
Amanda
I can remember when my family had to go on food stamps because my husband lost his job and was a stay at home mom nursing a baby. It was so embarrassing and my poor husband was so upset and embarrassed that he wouldn’t even go to the grocery store with me. But we did what we had to do and at the time it was get help. I was happy to find that you can buy seeds and plants with your food stamp money- I planted my first ever garden that year. After that he got a job again and we stopped those benefits but we did start getting WIC since he didnt make nearly as much as before. We still collect WIC and have to keep our budget for food around $500 or less for a family of six. It is very hard sometimes- and honestly we very rarely are able to buy organic- our kids are practically eating us out of house and home! We just moved into a new home with a yard so I plan to start gardening next year to grow my own organic food- granted that wont make up all of our meals but it will help by being healthier and better on our wallet.
Sylvia
Well said! I have been there and done that at one time or another too! I do so agree with you! Eat as healthy and organic as you can without feeling guilty if you don’t meet someone else’s mark!
Jessica
I think this is a fantastic post! I have been there, and in a lot of way I still am there. We are a family of 7 trying to eat whole foods on an extremely tight budget. It’s very difficult when you read posts like the one you linked to and not feel a little defeated. Honestly we can’t afford the organic produce, and I have to believe that eating fruits and vegetables(even if they are conventional or come from Aldi) are still much better than not eating any at all. Great post, thank you for being willing to be vulnerable!!
DHM
I’ve blogged about this before- the organic, grass fed, free range advocates who insist that a free range, organic chicken is not really more expensive than a conventional, factory farmed version because you can buy a whole chicken and get three or four meals from it actually do their cause no good. For one thing, of course, you can do exactly the same thing with a whole chicken that costs .79 a pound as you can with a whole chicken that costs anywhere from 5.00 to 12.00 a pound, except you can’t buy any organic carrots, onions, and whole pepper to season the more expensive chicken because you just blew your food budget for two weeks on a single chicken that will feed you three meals.
It isn’t a helpful or realistic approach to talk about how this really costs so much more if you just factor in the possibility that thirty years down the road you *might* get sick when you are talking to somebody who right now, today, is choosing between eating something and eating nothing, or eating organic or paying the utility bill. It is also not useful to give truly thoughtless advice and brightly tell a savvy budget shopper “Oh, no, it’s less expensive to spend six times more for a whole organic chicken because you can get three meals out of it.” The savvy budget shopper already knows how to get five meals from a whole conventional chicken at 1/5 of the price, so you really only look foolish when you give that advice, and this is actual, real advice I have heard from a couple of big name organic food advocates.
=)
Erin
Yes, I think it’s good to find a balance. If we can find it for around the same price, we go for it.
Stacy
DHM,
Yes, yes, and yes! If I had a dollar for every time I’ve read that it is not more expensive to eat organic -in fact, it’s cheaper!- I’d be a rich woman. It makes me wonder what kind of fantasy world they live in. Of course, it is more expensive; it is insanely more expensive! I do not understand why these big name bloggers keep insisting that it is cheaper. Maybe we don’t compute money the same way? Whatever the case, I wish people would be more realistic. If you want to eat as healthy as possible, it is going to cost you quite bit of money.
Amy Clark
You just wrote my story. Those exact things happened to me and I felt the exact same way. My dad used to be head of the Department of Human Services and I was afraid someone would recognize me who worked there as his daughter. I used to play in his office when I was little and now I was there applying for WIC and Medicaid for my kids with my oldest son on my hip. I also have 2 college degrees and my life was not supposed to turn out this way…but things happen and it does. I have learned not to be ashamed and to move ahead knowing I am doing the best I can. The real food elitists who say we should juice organic vegetables everyday clearly have no idea that for most people, the cost of those organic vegetables that produces a few ounces of juice, would be some people’s entire grocery budget for the week. So, we do the best we can and hope it’s enough!
Erin
Wow! Thanks for opening up and sharing!
Joanney
As a single mom of teenage boys, my income is just above the threshold for qualifying for assistance, yet my budget allows only $100/mo for groceries. If the short sale on my house does not go through by then, it will go into foreclosure at the end of the month. This is the reality of going from a 6 digits two-income household to a single income of approx. $30,000 because of someone else’s choices.
Yes, I have two vehicles, but it is cheaper to pay for gas and insurance to open enroll my teenagers into the school district that we lived in when their dad left than to live within that district. We do not watch TV at all, so canceling cable is not an option. I do pay for internet, but with today’s education system, that is almost a necessity with high school students. True they can use the library, but not for SmartMusic or similar online band practice assignments. There is not room in our budget for a category of “entertainment” or even “clothing.” Last year I worked a third job in Nov and Dec to pay for Christmas.
You commented that you and your husband were not lazy bums sitting around waiting for the government to assist you. I heard this comment as a means to debunk the stereotype rather than to enforce it. I have known people on assistance who CANNOT work because of medical reasons, others who choose not to work, and others who work multiple jobs and still cannot make ends meet. Between my two jobs, I work 60+ hours a week and without my former spouse’s support checks, would qualify for assistance.
All this is to agree that for some, organic foods is not an option. In fact, for some, traditional means of acquiring food is too expensive. I have been blessed with by a ministry at our church were we hand out food on a monthly basis to people in need. Even before we needed it, our family helped to distribute this food. We do not have a choice on what is available that month, but we do get food to supplement our meager budget. This has helped me to become a more creative cook. 🙂
Yes it is humbling and often embarrassing to need these services, but I have also found that it is freeing to be able to admit to true friends when you need help. It has helped me to rely more on God than on my own abilities, to become a better steward of what He has given me, and to forgive myself for not being able to give my sons everything they want, let alone need.
Thank you for your post.
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story. It is humbling, but I feel like being humble is what helps keep people from taking advantage of it. And you are right, I was not trying to reinforce a stereotype. There are many people who can’t work and need assistance, but there are those who take advantage of it, and that makes me sad.
Beth
Sometimes it is just nice to know other people are in the same boat (and making it!) Our food budget is $200/mo for a family of 4 plus $50 that I try to set aside for bulk purchases of meat/grains/etc. It is definitely doable, but sometimes quantity trumps quality 🙂 Almost every ‘budget’ real food blog assumes a budget of $600-800! If we had that money maybe we’d pay off our student loans early . . .
Thanks for mentioning the ‘cancer is more expensive’ line. It always irritates me. Yes, cancer/diabetes/prescription meds are more expensive, but we don’t have any of those things at the moment so I am not seeing the savings! You can’t make sacrifices to buy organic when you are already sacrificing all of the unnecessary things just to put food on the table in the first place 🙂
kate
Thank you for this post! Thank you, thank you. We are making $1200 a month work right now and the $209 we receive in SNAP plus WIC every month literally keeps us fed. I felt like I was going to burn alive from shame today in line when using my WIC checks. I go to a store further away from our house to not run into people we know. We were raised not to depend on things like this, the stigma of the lazy advantage-taking moochers was a story told all too often in my home growing up. My family has no idea we are on any assistance, nor do they know we held out for four months after my husband’s lay off before we applied for help. Our savings is gone. We have nothing else to fall back on- even though we stretched and cut the budget farther than I ever imagined. (Yes, we have internet- it is necessary for job searching and the cost is supplemented by my amazing mother.) My part time hours are a help but it goes fast, and I have put in for every single full time spot I can. I know, however, we have so much to be thankful for. We will find an answer and we will find work again. We have help we can use for the time being, and its not forever. Our three small children are healthy and happy, and they have no idea we are scaping by, they think nothing of the fact that their second helping just came from mom’s plate. So thank you, Erin, for saying today what my heart has been feeling. And thank you, for the renewed hope I am feeling now after reading this post. I will hold my head high, with grace, and I will continue my prayers that we will only be in this situation as temporarily as possible.
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story!
Kathryn
It breaks my heart to see how much shame you apparently felt over applying for food stamps and receiving WIC. I don’t think anyone who is gainfully employed, has lost a job, or is unable to work because of health/disability/age should feel shame over seeking government assistance. Despite the stereotypes, the reality is that the vast majority of people on WIC or SNAP fall into one of those categories–and that is precisely what the program is for, to temporarily help people who, through no fault of their own, can’t meet their own basic needs. Moreover, anyone who is or has been working has been contributing to the WIC/SNAP treasury and is therefore just using a service s/he has already paid for. I don’t think people with genuine hardship should feel any more shame about using WIC/SNAP than about driving on the highways or using the schools their taxes have funded.
Erin
I agree. I shouldn’t have felt that way, but it is hard to deal with judgmental and condescending looks. We should not feel shame if we truly need help. Thank you for sharing.
Liz Smart
Great article. I feel this way a lot of the time myself. We are on a tight budget (and have been for over 2 years, since my DH lost his job and has only been able to find part time work). I always tell myself, “all you can do is the best you can”. I grow veggies in my garden, and can the extras for the winter. I also raise my own chickens (illegal in my area) for meat and eggs. At least I know those are organic and fresh (and very local). Most “real organic” food at the grocery store is way out of our budget. I try to go to farmers markets in the area, or keep an ear out for neighbors who have fruit trees (If they have extras I ask if they would mind if I came over and picked some of the extras). Thanks for speaking up.
Jaci
This is the first time I’ve read anything on your blog and I have say I truly enjoyed it! Even though I do feed my kids an organic diet! I’m not a “food elitist” but I simply can’t feed my kids anything else! I seriously feel like I’m giving them Raid if we eat conventional food, which we do on occasion outside if the house. I completely agree that no one should ever feel guilt over doing the best they can with what they’ve got, I also feel its important to stop the misconception that eating organic is HUGELY expensive!! Yes it’s more $$$, and yes not everyone can do it, but it’s not $800 or $1000 per mos! I feed 4 on about $450 a month. Yes I know lots of people have budgets that are $200/mos so it’s just not doable but I would like the over exaggeration of the expensive to be set straight!
Erin
Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
Pam
Actually, it is NOT a misconception and organic can be hugely expensive!! I buy very few organic foods. I have done the math based on our food budget of about $550 for a family of 5, and based on our current use of certain commonly used staple items. If I went “all organic”, our budget would go up to well over $800 per month. Every little bit adds up. Some specific examples: organic milk is $4 more per gallon, at 4 gallons per week, that is about $60 per month more, just for milk. Strawberries are $2.49/lb., organic ones are $5.99/lb., we use about 5lbs. per month. Organic apples are $3 more per pound ($12 more per month). Potatoes are 28 cents/lb., organic ones are $1.60/lb. (3-5 lbs per week, $16 more per month). I pay $1.50/dozen for eggs and use 3-4 dozen per month, organic free range eggs are $4.29/dozen, that’s at least $10 more per month. I spend $10 a month ($2/lb.) on butter, going organic adds another $10 per month. We’re up to $100 more per month to go organic, for 6 commonly used staple items. Organic leafy greens are almost double what I pay now. I pay $2.99/lb. for chicken but organic is $7.99/lb. That’s $25 more a month. Organic grass fed beef? $75 more per month based on our current use. I will stop here. These are not exaggerations, these are actual numbers from places like Costco, Trader Joe’s, local grocery stores, famers markets, etc. Also, I have found on these blogs that cost depends a lot on where you live. I know in Michigan, organic produce (especially apples and berries) is abundant and inexpensive. If I lived there I would buy organic fruits a lot more often!
Kathy Ruder
You’re absolutely right…organic costs DO depend on the area one lives in. Knowing sources are critical in order to save money on organics. More often than not, they are not THERE. I’ve watched a number of documentaries that illustrated that…how many of the urban poor cannot access any decent food at all, much less organic. Can’t think of the names of the films…..one had to do with how folks are trying to help these people by growing organic vegetable gardens which the folks help to take care of.
Alisa
Thanks for this! In Canada our groceries are very expensive in comparison to most of the USA. And the kids keep eating more as they get older. I have also gotten myself in a knot over not feeding my family all organic but I have over the past year come to be okay about it. We have to spend our grocery budget as wisely as we can and then trust God to take care of the rest.
Erin
We lived in Vancouver for a few months, and it was tough for our grocery budget. We learn to recycle while there, so that was a positive. ;o)
christa sterken
So happy to have come across this post. Been there, done that. Your words are so encouraging today
Amy
Thank you so much for this post! I try hard to fight the guilt that comes with not being able to buy the “right” foods. We have 8 children we homeschool, ,and have had to be on food stamps for the last year, after my husband had to sell his business, lost the job he took after that and we had absolutely no money for food. Or anything else for that matter. It was and still is very humbling, but I finally came to the conclusion that we are saving the government over $50,000 per year by not sending our children to the gov’t school – so I should not struggle with accepting help for a season. Praise God, my husband has found jobs and now has a job which almost gives us our previous income back and after a year of financial devastation, we’re rebuilding and looking forward to being independent.
Erin
Glad to hear that God has blessed your family with a new job. I pray He continues to strengthn you.
Joanna
It’s frustrating that food stamps are so generous that they can afford better food than the average working family. There’s no incentive to rise above your situation if one can afford cable, smartphones, organic food, Coach purses, and housing without working. We know people on public assistance driving brand spanking new vehicles…that they got after being on assistance. That’s also something we don’t have, and we both work. Sometimes I ask myself why. Then I remember I’m responsible for my decisions, and it isn’t pride that keeps me off assistance. It’s doing what is right (for us).
Mrs. Abella
I agree with you! My husband worked many years full time as an RN and before that in various other capacities in medical, and I worked full time as well–before we met I worked up to 3 jobs as a CNA to make ends meet for myself and my son. He can no longer work due to on the job injuries that brought about 2 back surgeries, arthritis in all joints from the hips down, and this week is to start the first surgery on his shoulders to correct injuries there as well. The RN income is long gone, and my how we miss those days. His disability income is 1/4 of what he made, and believe me, we’ve cut as far as we can, short of internet as it is our main source of news and communication with family and friends–we don’t even use cellphones beyond a pay as you go emergency thing that we occasionally purcchase minutes for maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Still with the major cut in income, we choose for me to be home with the kids until they are grown and on their own, so what if we can’t eat organic…the kids need me more than organic food. We don’t qualify for foodstamps due to how the state calculates income for disabled adults, we fall under a different set of rules, so under those rules set by the state, we fall $8 above their limit. So, we set aside $200 most months to put toward food, and we make the most of it, using lots of flour/grains/veggies, and if we have a blessing of sales from my etsy or local sewing/baking, we purchase additional meats. We make the dollars count, as there is no more. It does get annoying seeing someone in their pajamas shopping and getting name brand foods and steaks and sodas on a food stamp card, while we must purchase the cheapest store brands, little meat, no sodas, and pay cash….but in the end I feel as we’ve made the best of what the Lord has given us and am thankful He has provided with what He has. It may not be a lot, but what He gives is enough. No name brand purses (I just stitched the handle back on the old beat up Walmart special I carry), we drive a 20 yr old truck with the check engine light flashing and an 8 yr old car I purchased new with a workman’s comp settlement, wouldn’t know how to use a smart phone if it was given to us, cable is not an option, neither is satellite, we make do with what the Lord provides, and are able to help others we know by baking a little extra when I make my homemade breads and rolls, or make an extra batch of soup or rice dish…or an extra pie from scratch….God blesses us and so we can give on to others…. While we’d love to have the money of the full time nurse’s salary again, if that’s not what God wants for us, we must be content with what we are given and use it to His glory! 🙂
Erin
Joanna,
Thank you for commenting. Yes, the system is abused by people, but there are people who actually do need a little help, but it was never meant to be long term as people have made it. It is upsetting and unfair when people take advantage of it. I can assure that we have cut cable, don’t drive new cars, and buy our clothes at consignment stores. You are doing the right thing.
Lisa @ Farm Fresh
That is the point that a lot of people don’t know or just forget. That it was NEVER intended to be permanent for feeding a family. We live in one of the poorest counties in Kentucky…and we KNOW for FACT (as in heard it from their lips) that there are families who deliberately abuse the system because they get MORE on it than if they were gainfully employed. And (speaking sarcastically of course!) with that why on earth would someone give that up to be “poorer”?
Another thing with single moms here—they have the MAXIMUM amount of kids to get the MAXIMUM amount of $$. There is one woman who has children (never married to any of the fathers–yes plural) and when she hits the maximum number, gives them to her relatives to raise so THEY can collect and then she can have more to hit that number again.
AND THAT is what I believe you, Erin, are talking about when you say those who abuse the system…and sadly it gives a bad name to those who need it truly and will use it for as long as they need it and then get off.
Kathy Ruder
Isn’t that a shame that folks cannot earn more working than getting government assistance? Speaks very loudly for the need of a LIVING WAGE!
Kathy Ruder
You shouldn’t be asking why….you should be asking HOW. Because the honest people on the system cannot live that way.
AC
Why does anyone of have 5 children in this day and age? Or more than two? I think this is where the problem stems. The problem stems from not thinking of the familial unit in a sustainable way. Anyone having 5 kids, let alone more than 2 is just ….NOT sustainable. Sorry, that’s the core issue. Many people will be pissed to read this but honestly parents, WHY? I have no children (here comes the finger pointing now) but I’m from a huge family, my mother was one of 5. I’m an only child because my mother had health issues, but honestly, and coming from her words, she was able to provide the best for me…and if she would have had more, well then there would have been NO BEST for me. At all. Sorry, cold hard facts. If you can’t afford to give them the best, STOP HAVING KIDS AFTER THE SECOND ONE PEOPLE.
Theresa
Why do people have more than 2 kids?
Because they love their children and want to give them the wonderful gift of siblings.
Because they enjoy sex with their spouse and children are and have always been the natural fruit of that love.
Because they raise excellent children who will be a gift to the world and they want to improve the world with these children.
Because it is the absolute right as human beings to regulate their own family.
Because they trust in God to provide
Because many people (like the commenter above) choose or are unable to have children and someone needs to be making sure there is a ‘sustainable’ number of children to pay for your retirement.
~I have no biological children so I’m just guessing about those reasons.
Mrs. Abella
Ma’am, I’m one of 11. I have no regrets with the size of the family I have, nor the size of the one I came from. The Lord provides the numbers, and the means to take care of them however He sees fit.
Erin
AC,
No one is pointing fingers or judging for that matter. My desire is for this blog to be a judgement free zone where mom’s can find grace. You are entitled to your opinion and choose not to have children or have only one or two. But I do respectfully disagree with you. Theresa summed up many of the reasons for having multiple children. They are a blessing, and while it is expensive to raise them, I will do everything I can to provide for them. Your definition of “best” is very relative. I will give them the best education, life experiences, skills, etc. And it has nothing to do with material possessions. And my children have not wanted for anything. Their toys and clothes may not always be brand new, but they appreciate them and give to others because someone gave to them. Just like it is not my place to tell you how many kids you need to have, it is not your place to tell people when to stop. Again, just saying.
Kathy Ruder
I have six. Erin, you are spot on! God ALWAYS provided our needs! (note I didn’t say our wants…but even then….things did come that were wants….).
Meghan
Well, for one, the necessary fertility replacement rate is 2.1. If everyone only had two children, eventually humankind would die out. So, your belief that peole should only have one or two children, maximum, is not only faulty, it’s completely aisinine. Your mother, who only had one, can thank those that had many children for paying for your education, her social security, the security of having a strong military, police-fire-medics, etc. You do realize that someone pays for that, right?
You say a family of five is unsustainable… What is more unsustainable: 5 people living modestly, buying in bulk, handing down things, buying secondhand, growing their own food— or a single child who is given “the best?” You’re kidding yourself and obviously have ZERO idea what true sustainability is. It doesn’t matter how “green” we are; if we are not sustaining a population, especially a population of good and decent people, what is the point? What benefit to us is there when economies collapse and the whole of humanity is nothing but entitled, spoiled people? (That isn’t to say all only children are entitled or spoiled, however raising a child to believe they are only children because they only deserve the best…things come and go, but the love of family is forever, and every single person born is exponentially worth more than nice things, or even “the best.”)
I also have a news flash for you: small families=/=financially sustainability. Read the above comments. The vast majority had one or two children at the time of their poverty. You don’t think small families are immune to hardships, do you?
I will pray for you, that God might soften your heart and give you wisdom to see His truth.
Kathy Ruder
This page needs a like button, because this comment would get one from me!
Armymomma
I have 5 children, my husband is a solider & I have a bachelor’s degree. We have not taken govt help at all. My husband protects our right to have as many children as we desire. I don’t understand why such unpatriotic people don’t leave the country. You want to live in a country that regulates family size? Move to China.
Erin
Please tell your husband thank you for his service–and thank you to you, too! It is sad that many in our generation do not respect those who have sacrificed SO Much for our freedoms!!
Theresa
I am a foster parent who uses WIC. Do I need WIC? No. We are right around the income limit and are able to afford our groceries. All foster children under 5 get WIC. At first I felt embarrassed about using WIC but at the time with 2 babies on formula and 2 toddlers; using WIC allowed us to do things like afford a college student as a babysitter so I didn’t have to drag all the babies downtown and put them in a drop in daycare for court dates and for parochial preschool and allowed me to stay home with them.
Now that we only have one foster child on WIC, we need it even less. Why do I keep it up? Because it humbles me and it would be prideful to drop it. We get board rates every month for our foster child and adoption subsidies for our adopted children. Do we reject those? No. We put them in a tuition account.
Why should I feel shame about the WIC and not the board checks and adoption subsidies? Because I need to go to the grocery store and stand in front of people who may judge me to redeem the check for the gallon of milk.
There is no shame in WIC and by being too prideful to use it, I am disrespecting all those other families who use it. It helps me relate and understand the way the poor in our country are shamed.
I found your post kind of annoying because it does shame the poor. Being poor isn’t a sin.
Erin
Theresa,
I’m sorry that you felt that way. It as not my intention to shame anyone, let alone someone for being poor. I was merely stating my own feelings of embarrassment. Should I have felt shame? No, not really. But it was a humbling experience and one that has allowed me to relate to others and know where they are. People do judge, and sometimes it is difficult to deal with their stares and condescending looks. We did drop it when we started making more money, but I’m glad it was available when we had. There is no shame in that at all.
Carrie
YOU ROCK! we take sibling groups in foster care. Have three currently luckily I milk goats and we grow a big garden and raise most of our own food.. Otherwise they would eat me out of house and home LOL WE have five children with the fosters at this current time. Like you we pay out of pocket for better schools, opportunities like karate and gymnastics and horseback riding (I am a licensed instructor ). So these children can have some normalcy and do something they wouldn’t normally get to do. Cheers ladies!
Tamara Wilkins
FINALLY… Someone said it. Thanks!
Deborah Sanford
Wow, just wow. Thank you so very much for this article. I am at that place to, I get as much as I can organic and there are a lot of processed foods we just quit eating all together. It is very pricey to buy everything organic and some time at grocery stores may not even be organic. Organic shouldn’t be so expensive, it should be natural and cheaper but the demand is very high. I live in a small town and have to drive 60 plus miles to get organic things. But, I drive it every two months. I know GOD will take care of us just like He said in His Word. Thank you for your humbleness to post this article. I’m sure it will touch many many lives like it did mine.
Michelle
I haven’t read all 85 comments. But First of all as a teacher myself. It is a CRYING SHAME that someone with more than a 4 year degree and is serving others qualifies for assistance! I love teaching and I’m proud to say I’m good at. But man, if I didn’t think it was my calling in life to teach I would research a different job that paid way more with a 4 year degree than teaching! It is CRAZY how poor teachers are.
Second of all I never realized how strong the organic movement is. I have lived in CA for 10 years. And most of my friends buy real food and cooked from scratch. Very few bought organic because of price and our incomes.
My brother on the other hand works on an organic farm and was after me one day about not having organic… and the same day he was annoyed that I wanted my 7 year old in his booster seat in the car. Reality check! Car seats save lives that is a well tested fact while Organic food ??? I know people who eat organic food and are very health conscious people and they have cancer…
I say you are mother of the year for not serving Chicken nuggets and ramen soup everyday! Congratulations! (PS I have been on WIC.. it is humbling)
Hannah
Thank you! This is an awesome blog series! Way to be an encourager in the midst of many discouragers. Way to stand up for those who are downtrodden.
Linda Phillips
I can totally relate. About 7 years ago I was a single mom on foodstamps. Until August I was on WIC. We barely qualified, but we did and it was nice to be able to get free organic veggies. We had been planning a vacation for awhile. We had a single friend who was on food stamps and my husband was complaining about it because of their unwillingness to take a job while waiting for the one they wanted. I joined in the rant, then I immediately had conviction. I told my husband, “We are on WIC- AND planning a vacation.” He paused. “Cancel it. We are not going to be part of the problem.” With that being said.. some people DO need it. I get it. I’ve been there. I had mouths to feed.. working at a minimum wage job, three kids, going to school and doing it alone. Now I have to be choosy. I am a stay at home mom. My husband works three jobs so that I can. I have to be a steward with the money the Lord has given us. I do what I can.. buy organics on sale or reduced and pray protection over the non organics and non free range chicken. I just can’t afford to do that. We don’t have cable either. We don’t have smart phone contracts, we don’t have a house phone either. There’s nothing left to give up really. I was really stressing about it, but I find peace in doing what I can.. and letting God take care of what I can’t. Sorry for the long rant. I can SO relate to this post. You did good! 🙂
Ellen
Thank you for sharing your story, Erin. I appreciated hearing your attitude and perspective.
I am grateful that we have never been in a place to need food assistance. But this reminded me of the discouragement that I feel when reading some of those “low budget” grocery posts. We are a single income family living in Canada. I have family in the States and can tell you from first hand observation that the food is far more expensive here (ex: when I have been in Whole Foods, the prices seemed normal and sometimes cheap to me, compared with Canadian prices). There is no way I could ever buy the whole foods those bloggers buy on the budget they report.
Unprocessed food is important to us, so I am grateful that we are in a place where not having cable and buying used clothes, etc, means that I have some food budget wiggle room. But I rarely buy organic, though I wish I could do it exclusively. It is worth being reminded to rejoice in God’s provision, whatever it looks like!
Rachel
Please please please don’t take this the wrong way as I am genuinely interested because I see women in groups in this same situation, but why would you get pregnant again if you couldn’t afford to feed one? I am really not trying to be mean, I just want to know because I don’t understand.
I do agree with you that it is better to buy conventional than none at all 🙂
Ellen
Hi Rachel,
I noticed this reply to my comment, but I’m assuming to didn’t intend it for me, as I didn’t mention our family size?
But because I CAN give input from experience about that kind of decision – having a child in a healthy, loving home and feeding them regular produce is rather more important than planning family size around organic food. And, one cannot assume that every child is “planned” – though it is a delight when every child is welcomed!
Kathy Ruder
All six of mine weren’t planned….but they all were wanted!
Jennifer
Beautiful post!
After my parents divorced when I was little, we were on food stamps. My mom later remarried, but my stepdad didn’t have a high school diploma or any type of college degree so many of the jobs he found were very low-paying and often without benefits. Thus, we were also on Medicaid and the free lunch program at school. My mom and stepdad had two kids and my mom chose to stay at home with them and has even since. She was on WIC with both pregnancies. Times have always been tough and I can’t remember a time when my mom wasn’t stressed out about money. In fact, when I was in high school, she sent my older sister, my younger brother, and me to a local food pantry to volunteer and bring home food for our family since we needed food, but my stepdad made too much to qualify for food stamps.
It’s tough. People at the food bank had a hard time understanding why she sent her kids to volunteer and never came to volunteer herself. I used to idolize her and her lifestyle, but not anymore. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but am not sure if that will be possible. After seeing her, she is 100% financially dependent on my stepdad, despite the fact that he cheated on her. At one point, she thought about leaving, but decided she couldn’t afford to. My half-siblings are now in high school and the oldest three kids have left the house. I always thought things would get better once we left, so their money would stretch further. Unfortunately it seems to be the opposite case as they have filed bankruptcy again and are currently in foreclosure on their home.
Every phone call I have with her always has her complaining about finances and mostly not having money for food. I am not sure how to feel about it. I used to be sad, but now find myself mad. She doesn’t send my siblings to a food pantry to volunteer and then get food, they just don’t go (other to one at a church). They qualify for reduced lunch, but don’t want to stand in line to get it (my other siblings and I didn’t have that option; we stood in line otherwise we wouldn’t eat). At some point, she just needs to get a job. My stepdad works very hard and does some work on the side (which I doubt he pays taxes for), but the burden shouldn’t be all on him (even if he is a cheater). I don’t know why my mom doesn’t want to work, but I would be embarrassed to not be able to feed my children and not try to find alternative ways. I have nothing against being a stay-at-home mom, but I do think it is both parents responsibility to feed their children. If one is unable to bring it more money and all expenses that can be cut, have been cut then it is time for the other person to start bringing in money. She could even get a part time job. She just doesn’t want to work. It’s frustrating! I know many people idolize a traditional family life, but that was an anomaly in history. Most women and mothers throughout history worked. All the homemaking work I read about on blogs (gardening, homemade food, homemade cleaners, etc.) she doesn’t do any of that. I feel helpless sometimes. I have given them money before to buy groceries, but sometimes would find out that they went out to eat instead. That hurts. They could have made the money I gave them stretch further with groceries. My husband refuses to let me give them anymore of our hard earned money (we both work part-time and are full-time grad students). He thinks they want handouts and don’t want to change any of their behavior and I am starting to agree.
This was a good read for me and I read many of the comments. You all are doing a great job and the best you can to take care of your family. Stop beating yourself up if you can’t afford organic. I can’t either and we don’t even have children yet. Your children are lucky to have parents like all of you who do everything they can to take care of them. Thank you, Erin, for your sweet reminder of grace.
Cheri
Simply…thank you. Thank you for being a humble servant of the Lord.
Annie
I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate this. It made me cry. We struggle to make it by, and yes, we have food stamps. We don’t have any other way to provide at this time. As a mom trying hard to provide good food, I have felt guilty for not being able to buy all organic. I do when I can. I have felt guilty and ashamed, and don’t really want friends/ family to know we get food stamps. I get so hurt and angry over those who judge and believe false information. Not everyone on food stamps is lazy, does drugs, etc. I hear that stuff all the time. It hurts. My husband works hard at a homeless shelter- he left the business world to minister to the least of these. He is a part time pastor and does odd jobs. Our time is stretched thin, but we are a hard-working, loving family doing the best we can. We are so thankful for the help while it’s needed, and thankful for many friends/ strangers who have blessed us. Thank you again for this!
Michael
Why would you make more babies if you couldn’t afford the one you already have?
Tammie
If I waited to have babies until I could afford them, I would never have any at all. Children are a blessing, and while they do require an investment on many levels, the return is 100 fold. Family size a personal choice left up to that particular family and how they feel God is leading them. We do need to be aware of certain things, but I don’t “money” should limit God’s blessings for you…whether that me 1, 2, 5….etc.
Kathy Ruder
That’s a valid question….however, not all pregnancies are planned…even birth control does fail. I have six and in my experience, with every child that came also came the means to meet their needs. You do have a valid question, Michael, as there are those who refuse to be prudent/realistic and then the entire family live in abject poverty. Sad. We always had what we needed. I felt awful for not being able to buy the kids everything their hearts desired….but they have grown up and assured me that it didn’t matter….I met their needs and I love them. That’s what matters in the long run.
Margaret
Honestly, not purchasing organic food for my family doesn’t keep me up at night, because the evidence for organic foods making an appreciable difference in health is not very good anyway. I’m not saying its completely worthless, but the evidence is lacking in terms of health benefits. Maybe if I was making six figures plus, but in the meanwhile, I’m not worrying.
http://www.skepticalraptor.com/skepticalraptorblog.php/organic-food-healthier-worth-extra-money/
Shanon
I am so glad I saw this post today! I’ve been feeling judged lately, like I don’t do a good enough job feeding my family because we can’t eat only organic stuff. Believe me, I’d love to! For the last few years we have been in a similar situation–I’m a stay-at-home mom of 2 and my husband was a teacher. That’s right, teachers get paid so little that we have had to be on WIC and Food Stamps to get by, and we live very frugally and have a very cheap house, old cars, no smartphones, etc. Because of this my husband is in the process of switching careers so that we can be more financially secure and provided for. I do the best I can with healthy food for us! Thank you!
Melinda
You are amazing! Thank you so much for the post. I so needed to hear that. Sometimes we feel alone and think no one else is going through what we are. God Bless!!
Cathy
Thank you so much for this! I absolutely understand the embarrassment. My husband has a degree and works in law enforcement as a CO but it just isn’t enough to get us by for our family of 5. With three toddlers and I having not finished my degree and with no real job skills outside of retail, me working wouldn’t even cover daycare costs and we don’t qualify for help with that. We have tried going without WIC and food stamps…what happened was by the last week of the month hubby and I had to not eat so the kids would have food. Even though we have no TV service, no cell phones, make all our own cleaning products…it sucks. He keeps trying to apply for better jobs to where his degree could be something besides a piece of paper of debt ha. I know things will get better for us in the future. I have made money here and there with freelance projects just nothing steady yet…and try to make sure we eat healthy as possible, grabbing organic produce when I can. It is difficult when so many judge. Yep we have 2 vehicles. My mother in law pays the car payment for one so we can afford our mortgage/bills. The other was given to us for free by a coworker of my husband’s and was a wonderful gift we needed after moving much farther from husband’s job and in need of a vehicle with better gas mileage. Pretty much all of my girls clothes are hand me downs from friends and family. We have been very blessed to have people who care help us out. I very much look forward to the day we can call and cancel all our assistance. That day gets closer all the time!
Elizabeth
Thank you for this post! Your blog blessed me. I would gladly buy even some organic if we could, but we’re in a similar boat right now. We anticipate/hope in a couple more years we should be able to get off WIC, but right now it means we’re able to more fresh fruits and veggies (instead of just canned/frozen) than we otherwise would. Hope you have a good evening.
Lyn
I’ve been there. I’ve not eaten so the kids can. I’ve received help when times were really grim, and living ‘healthily’ is not the easy option or cheap. Organic is great, but fruit, veges and non-processed meat is still better than bread and processed rubbish, so I don’t beat myself up when the grocery cart has something that is not organic. I try my best, and my children are healthier than many, because of it. Thank you for this post. I had tears in my eyes recognising your humiliation. I know that feeling.
Amy B
You just described my life RIGHT NOW. My husband is a teacher. And he works side jobs. And I am a stay at home mom. With 3 part-time jobs. And we are on WIC. And living with my mom. And it is all SO painfully humbling. I’ve cried lots of tears. I just want you to know that it means the world to me to know there is at least one person out there who understands. Thank you. xoxo
Bobbiann
Thank you for this post. My husband’s a teacher too and I’m a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom of three. I would love to eat only organic too, but like you, just have to do the best I can. We live in Canada where I think food is more expensive, but the overall cost of living is pretty low in our area and health care is free.
Heather
Such a wonderful post! We are having to tighten our budget, and we have three small children. My husband eats low carb mostly due to weight issues, so I really have to try and find deals on meat. We eat venison and goat to cut costs. Thanks again for the inspiring post!
Sarah
Thank you for this post! Your words describe our situation right now very closely, and its good to remember that we aren’t alone. I definitely stress out too much about feeding our family healthy food. God has used this trial to show me my idolatry of health and healthy food, and helping me to put that on the alter to sacrifice and give up to him. The desire for health and healthy food isn’t bad in and of itself- but it is when it gets in the way of loving and serving God. I could put my kids in daycare, get a full time job and afford organic food. But we believe its more important to serve God by raising our children ourselves than to buy all the stuff we would prefer to be able to afford.
Sometimes I pray- as we are eating something non-organic (esp. dairy and meat) that God will make it the same as organic in our bodies. I know He can and I believe its worth asking him to do it.
Kristi
Thank you so much for posting this! I’ve been feeling so guilty about the foods I’m feeding my kids these past few months. With 3 kids and homeschooling and a husband who has had his overtime cut, things have been more than tight. We already don’t have car payments and cable and spend only on necessities and shop for consignment clothes and shoes only when needed. I cook most everything from scratch and choose the best other foods on the shelf we can afford. It’s so frustrating to read how a food is bad when it’s the best we can do. Thanks so much for understanding and helping me to let go of some of the guilt.
Rachel R.
If you haven’t seen “entitled” food stamp shoppers, you definitely haven’t seen it all. Believe me, they’re out there. There are those who work the system – and brag about it, to boot. Obviously, that doesn’t mean that everyone is like that, though!
Food prices have been SKYROCKETING, too. We’ve had to go gluten-free, increased our family size by four, AND had food prices in general at least double on us over the past 10 years. I used to be able to feed us on $150-200/month, and now at over $500, we struggle. I *hate* having to feed my family conventional food. It makes me cringe. But like you said, I can’t let them STARVE instead.
In addition to everything you so aptly pointed out, as screwy as it it, insurance will often cover the costs of cancer – but it doesn’t cover real food (for that matter, even WIC doesn’t cover real food in most places, to a large extent), and it rarely covers truly health-preserving options.
We pay out of pocket for our crappy food. We pay out of pocket for our vitamins. We pay out of pocket for the filtered water we need, in addition to the water bill we pay every month. (Our city water was causing acute health issues.) We pay out of pocket for any health treatments that actually make a positive impact. And then the government says we ALSO have to pay for “health” insurance that will pay only to keep us sick. Frustrating!
Laura
Wonderful post with good information. I hate to say this but I am NOT surprised about the comment from the 100 days of real food blogger. There’s alot i could say but, no, she doesn’t get it.
We keep our food/household bill under 150 (including eating out) most weeks. We are a family of six. Yet we still eat very well. I have found that shopping at Aldi and Trader Joe’s for the bulk of our food has been the key. That and careful menu planning!
Pam Perry
Dear, dear Erin,
What a blessing I received when I read your blog. You have blessed so many by ‘humbling’ yourself before us. Thank you for being transparent in order to glorify the name of Jesus. I have requested to follow you and look forward to many more blessings in reading your posts. Keep on praising His name.
Thank you again. He always knows what we need, even before we do. He brought me out of the mirey clay and brought me here today. Thanks for being open to His leading…Pam
Keri Mae
Excellent post! Food prices are insanely expensive right now–it makes me (ironically) ill to spend so much money on food, even though technically our family can afford to do so. And I have to add that we *have* raised hens (eggs and meat), turkeys (meat), ducks (eggs) and goats (milk and cheese). Did that cut costs? NO. The cost of feed and hay are crazy expensive right now too and we are downsizing our animals. We garden but good harvests are hit and miss. We don’t have smart phones, cable, car payments, etc either. I cook almost everything from scratch, not because I’m so “good” but because it’s so much cheaper. But I will say that even though I can afford to buy mostly organic, I struggle with if I *ought* to be doing so when so many of my sisters are so hard pressed to just simply provide the basics for their babies. We ought to be baring one another’s burdens more (I realize that starts with me). I really appreciate the reminder that *organic* is not the hill to die on, and that we can (and should) all encourage one another.
Rebecca
You know what if you eat out, stop, and if you have a Trader Joe’s by your house shop there. Organic is expensive, but I buy my fresh and frozen veggies, dairy and eggs from them. My meat I’ll go to Costco and if I can’t get everything organic (who can) I get as much as I can and if it’s not organic it’s grass fed or fed with non-gmo feed and no RBST in my milk. The thing about buying and cooking organic is learning to buy and use ‘WHAT YOU NEED” It’s so easy in America to be wasteful, we’re used to buying and cooking food and having left overs, buying and cooking organic means no leftovers it’s using what you need and eating food high in nutrition. It’s not just about buying it, it’s a whole change of lifestyle.
Anonymous
This is a very sweet post. It helps to hear some sympathy!
I was surprised at just how horrible the idea of food stamps was, though. My family’s on food stamps. We hope someday we can provide for ourselves and not depend on it anymore, but it is really a huge blessing for our family. Our food stamps budget seems enormous because it’s so much more than we had before ($0 to set aside for food, no joke whatsoever). It IS humbling to be on food stamps, and sometimes it IS embarrassing, but there doesn’t have to be any shame in it when you know you’re doing your best and will give back to the world the blessings heaven has bestowed in your time of need.
Jean | DelightfulRepast.com
Erin, thank you for this thoughtful post. It certainly has created a lot of discussion! I’m someone who eats organic as much as possible, but I refuse to get uppity about it! 🙂 That’s why I mention it from time to time on my food blog but don’t get too heavy-handed about it. We are all at different stages; and I just like to suggest that, for the sake of the planet, we do the best we can. But it does no one any good to be feeling guilty (OR superior!) about our food purchases.
I now buy only grassfed/pastured meat and mostly organic everything. My way to do that? 1. By cutting our meat consumption by half. Most Americans eat more meat than is good for them, so I figure eating the good stuff in smaller portions is better for us anyway! 2. I don’t buy “empty calorie” snacks and convenience foods, so more of the grocery budget can go toward whole ingredients for home-cooked meals. Of course, few people can do that 100% of the time, and I’m no exception! Once or twice a month I buy a can of cola, full of chemicals and HFCS, and just enjoy the heck out of it! 3. I try very hard not to waste food and have gotten to where I actually waste very little now. The higher prices for organic and grassfed and all that has been a powerful motivator!
But circumstances change all the time. There may come a time when those things aren’t enough and I’ll have to buy more conventional produce, etc. And a time when some who are needing assistance now will have more than they need. So let’s not have feelings of superiority and shame.
It’s so good to see a pleasant interchange of ideas like the one you’ve started here. Let’s just do our best and encourage one another.
Katy
Thanks so much. We are currently on food stamps with a family of 6, going on seven. It stinks. But I am thankful we have it! We’re going through a valley now, (we didn’t have power for 2 weeks at the beginning of the fall!), but Iknow the Lord is bringing us through it so that we can bless others on the other side, without being judgemental. Because I certainly started out that way! So thank you for encourging me in our quest for health AND self sufficiency!
Liz Barnett
My food budget is $180/month for one person. I eat organic food. I just know I’m not going to be able to eat as much as I would if I got other junk. I don’t know how I do it, but I do. I shop at Trader Joe’s and their low prices help a lot. I also HAVE cancer so I don’t want to make things even worse than they already are.
Kathy Ruder
God bless you…..
Joanne Cuchel
Erin,
Thank you for your post. My husband and I have been at odds about this because he’s not grasping the concept that we are nearly destitute right now and cannot afford to eat fully organic(I’m about to log on to the gov site to apply for food stamps myself). We have major differences about this and while I agree that we need to eat healthier I cannot condone spending that much money on food. This post may help to argue my point with him. Looking forward to reading more! God Bless you and your family, and God willing someday we both will be able to eat fully organic. (Then again with Monsanto who knows???)
Mel @ Trailing After God
Thank you! It’s so true, those who judge have never been there. $600 for groceries?! Wow! That is a LOT compared to what we spend for a family of 6. We’ve never qualified for food stamps but we did qualify for WIC and we used it until we didn’t have to. It is very humbling to ask for help. Thank you for broaching this subject and for being honest.
Kimberly Eddy
This was so spot on, Erin! Thank you so much for writing it. I’ve been frustrated with stuff like this in the past too. Good word!
KaylinJ
I want to apologize upfront! With the grammatical errors and incorrect punctuation, reading this will probably be like nails on a chalkboard! I am no writer. However, I felt every sentence of your struggle because we shared in that struggle. My husband and I were very young when we had our first. I was 21! Then very surprisingly, 14 months later our second child was born. We were both working. When pregnant with my first I worked as a waitress 40-52 hours a week. Every single day I could until a few days before I gave birth. We saved every penny we were able. A week before my son was born, my husband broke his foot. He was a cook at the restaurant I served at (its where we met). I was out 6 weeks for maternity leave. He was out 6 week’s because his foot was fractured in 3 places. There went our savings. We did everything they told us to do to prevent another pregnant, but God had other plans. We didn’t realize Gods plans until 6months after he had put them into play. I realized in April, even after two negative lets-just-see-just-in-case at home pregnancy test, that we were just months away from our second son who was born in July. My husband was working so many hours that I don’t remember him being home much. I was working 40 or more if I could steal other people’s hours from them. Then the doctor told me I wasn’t allowed to work anymore. A week and a half before baby #2 was born. With me working and making tips we were just holding our heads above water. Now, with just my husband working, we started sinking hard. We were rolling change to be able to afford groceries and gas. If family members wanted to see me they had to make the trip, even the ones that lived 15 miles away because our gas was for work and baby doctor appointments. That’s all! We hadn’t been humbled yet! We selfishly and stupidly held on to our pride a little longer until the first day back at work for me after our second little boy. My mom had my kids. She realized my oldest sons testicle was not only extremely enlarged but, very purple. My mom took him to the doc and they told us to go ASAP to a specialist 1.5 hrs away. I remember searching for dimes, nickels, pennies, anything we could find to get together gas money so I could get to my little boy. I scrapped my hand against the jar we kept our change in, trying to see thru the tears, digging for any money we could get to be able to make the trip. That day, my pride seemed so foolish! So we went that week to the DSS and applied for food stamps. We got an acceptance letter a few days later! We were so excited! We were getting $62 a month. $62 a month for an infant, a toddler and 2 adults! BTW, we were NOT on wic and I couldn’t breastfeed! We rejoiced! Thank God for that extra $15.25/week! One can of baby formula!!! We were able to reapply 3 months later and because we were still struggling, even tho we had something to eat every night we had also canceled our satellite, sold our extra car, and it wasn’t a surprise if you were to call our cell phone and find it off. But, when we were able to reapply it was increased to almost $250 a month! I cried! I thanked God! We were only on food stamps maybe 6 months because my husband was applying to every job imaginable to pull us out of the sinking sand we had fallen into! I’m sorry this is so long, I just wanted to say; you are not alone!!! Every chance we can, we give back! And if we ever happen to get back down on our luck again, maybe that ugly beast, Pride, won’t rear its head! Maybe we will be able to acknowledge that it doesn’t make us any less of the amazing people we are to ask for assistance! After all, that’s why it’s there, right?!
Tamara
If you think you can’t afford organic, try eating non-GMO foods and see how much weight you lose! Unintentionally! I went grocery shopping last week. Walking around the Costco-esque type big box grocery store, I found myself walking in circles not knowing what to buy. Thinking to myself, “I can’t afford organic, I won’t eat the pesticide-laden produce, totally no longer willing to eat anything from the ocean, hormone inflated chicken nope, mistreated cows no way, I’m against GMO, so I won’t buy anything made from big corporations.. that comes packaged in plastic or cardboard.. that has ingredients a scholar can’t pronounce. Hmm, what for dinner, what for dinner..”
Breanna
Thank you!! Thank you so much for this post. We currently get food stamps but gave up our wic. My husband works full time. I had to stop working with my dad when I became pregnant with my son because I was put on bedrest. He’s 6 months now but I haven’t returned because I’m breastfeeding and we use some chemicals I don’t want to pass through my milk. I do work with him outside the shop on weekends though. Seems like we get judged every time we get groceries but it’s what we have to have to make it with two kids.
Liz Lacy
Thank you, just thank you. I have been trying to do more organic, but there are six of us. I do buy more fruits and veggies, not so much junk. But also live on a very tight budget. So thank you
Beth
Finally a post from someone that really knows! We are in the same boat! We are something like $100 over the limit. Not that we want to have to have assistance. This summer, I quit my job so I wouldn’t have to pay more for child care than my job brought in. A week later, I stopped getting child support from my first child’s father. Then my other part time job went on furlough! Wow, what do you do when your income for a family of 5 drops by $1600 a month? You pray and believe that God will get you through this! And guess what he did, we always ate it may not have been what we wanted but we still ate! We survived!
Callie
We live in Israel, and serve in ministry. We don’t have cable or a car, and we can’t afford to go totally organic either. A friend of mine did blog series on how to feed a family of 4 whole foods for $100/week. On of her posts had info about how to clean non-organic foods. Go here:
http://lifeglimpsed.com/2013/04/day-three-2/
Lisa Outhwaite
Out of sheer curiosity what was your ACTUAL budget at the time? I did a ‘can you survive on this amount per week’ challenge once and I found that the biggest hurdle for people is not so much budget but lack of cooking knowledge. The price of organic food is outrageous and to those who say it is a moral obligation to buy it are simply wrong. It is the moral obligation of the FARMER and SELLER to set a fair price. We need to stop blaming whole groups of people when it is typically the fault of certain, greedy, INDIVIDUALS.
Anyway, my food budget challenge was pittance but it certainly made me think hard on how to squeeze as much nutrition out of my diet as I could. For example: buying whole oat groats in 25kg sacks making the staple at breakfast around 25 pence (this is for 5 servings btw). This massive saving allowed me to make up the difference in the price of say butter and honey – so breakfast would be a bowl of slow cooked porridge, good dollop of butter or cream and honey. For lunch I would roast a few organic chicken carcasses (£4), strip what meat remained on them, which is usually a fair amount as butchers work quickly, then put the carcasses in for a stock with some vegetables. Lunch would be a very nutritious bowl of broth with chicken and steamed veg. etc. There is a world of savings to be made at the butchers with cheap cuts that nobody else wants. Buying flour in bulk and making your own sourdough bread (so saving on the cost of yeast) is extremely economical. Each loaf costing less than 50p and that is with organic, heritage flours! I made a list of meals and undercut the budget by a fair way and, i’m pretty confident, kept my family considerably healthier than the average well-off family. The biggest rule, when having to serve a tight budget, would be to never spend any more on junk as this is entirely counter-productive. I’m sure this is something you’re fully aware of…it is not however for a lot of people who tend to bulk out a cheap diet with poor fillers. Of course this is an emergency skill and not something that one would be happy to maintain indefinitely – it will keep you alive but its not very exciting.
Anita
Thank you for this… I get so tired of people thinking that we just don’t WANT to spend that money for better food, when really we just don’t have it to spend…
Lori N
This was a wonderfully honest and candid blog about your reality. Please don’t be so hard on yourself, the reality is that it’s so expensive to feed a family today. I raised three boys almost 40 years ago and they ate me out of house and home, as it’s said. I always served the purest, most natural food I could. I rarely served processed foods, usually always made meals that were from scratch. There was no a lot of emphasis on organic then, I supposing because there wasn’t the GMO debacle and the tons of pesticides we face today. Now that my children are grown and have their own families I do eat as much organic as I can, probably about 80% of what I purchase is organic or traceable locally. I have extreme chemical sensitivities and have found that eating this way helps me. If I had children to feed now it would be almost impossible to do this even if it is for health sake. Just do your best! I always told my kids that the most important ingredient at our table was love!
Sandi
One of my favourite sayings is: “your opinion of me is none of my business”. Don’t worry about what other people think of you. You are where you are. That’s it. For whatever reasons, it is not up to other people to judge you. And you should try not to judge yourself. Do they best that you can – that’s what we all have to do. And as far as organic/non-organic goes, whole foods are better than processed, organic better than conventional. Wherever you are along the scale of “food goodness,” just do the best that you can. That’s all you can do. Stand proud and take care of your family the best you can. Good luck with it all.
Angel Shadoff
I love this!
My husband has FOUR college degrees – one an MBA. I have a BS in nutrition. I was a WIC dietitian for 8 years – and guess what – we qualified for WIC. It helped so much. Even now that my kids are older – we are broke. Middle class, educated and broke (in part we are student loan broke!) We don’t have expensive cars (they are old and we own them). We have the smallest cable package in the world – only local channels. We have no cell phones. We have no big toys and we don’t take expensive vacations. And we are broke. I have no idea how we are going to pay for college for our four kids, or retirement – we just work hard and do the best we can do. . .
I too would love to feed my kids only organic food. I try to cook from scratch – that helps – but a bag of apples down here is $7, and a bag of organic apples is $10. When you are working with our food budget (which is less than that given to food stamp families that are our size) then you do the best you can do to feed your kids. Great post!
laura
Good news! ALDI is rolling out organic produce in January. Also, be sure to take advantage of their double guarantee. They WILL give you a replacement product & your money back if you have ANY issue with any food item. I work there, I know. you might have to ask for double, but don’t be shy!
Jan
Erin, Thank you, thank you, thank you. So eloquently put, I cried in solidarity! I have been reading and reading (like you) and desperately trying to figure out how to do a better job of taking care of myself (autoimmune disease & in need of a hip replacement) my husband, my ADHD 13 yr son and my 12 autistic son, both middle schoolers with food allergies and starving every hour! Between us we have a number of advanced degrees, we chose our neighborhood for its good schools, 10+yr old cars, camp for vacations and we both work regular and extra hours. Since ACA, our health insurance has risen $37/week , copays have jumped $25 and I am usually out of money within 10 days of payday. I cook from scratch, use pressure & slow cooker, can’t afford carryout or fast food. Grass-fed meats & organic milk and eggs are 2-3x more than ‘regular’. Sure I’d love to grow my own but that would be adding yet another time-eater to our world that is already hectic as we are trying to make ends meet. I considered consulting with a well-respected specialist but when I saw the list of supplements that I ‘should’ buy to control my thyroid disease, my family would be going without food 2 weeks/month! Thank you for your post. You get it and we all, those of us replying, feel solidarity with you. I am sharing your post with every blogger I follow! xoxoxox
Allison--Our Small Hours
Thank you for your willingness to be this transparent. I recently wrote a series detailing my attempt to feed my family of five a real food diet on $600 a month. I failed, but as someone who believes in the importance of a real food diet, I am heartsick that it is financially unattainable for so many people in our country. I’m also tired of folks (bloggers, especially) who make it seem like cutting back on the extras will open up space in your budget. How do they not understand that so many simply do not have these extras and are *still* unable to eek out a decent grocery budget. Hardworking, professional people who are scraping to get nutritious food on the table. It shouldn’t be that way, but I don’t know what do to about it.
Charity
Thank you for being so honest! It’s so refreshing to read about someone else who faces these real life challenges. Our family was on food stamps for a year, and it was a fantastic help while I was pregnant. We aren’t on food stamps anymore, although we would still qualify. Thank you for clearing up the guilt that so many can feel about not being able to do the best thing, just the good things. We need encouragement like this to just do what we can with what we have.
Allison1532432
Don’t breed if you can’t feed!
Tammie
Did you seriously just write that? No words for you. Just no words.
Kathy Ruder
At its basic premise….actually, she has a point. If you and your mate are starving, it wouldn’t be too wise to have a child until things are better.
Miss Jane Doe
What a horribly rude comment. Shame on both of you. I’m sure that both of your lives are perfectly planned and executed. Give me a break.
Kelcey
Thank u for this post. I decided to take a leave of absence this year from my teaching position to stay at home with my kids. I qualified for wic and was feeling a little guilty about it. I admire your lifestyle and hope God will give me the grace to stay at home permanently with my little ones. God bless.
Liz Cowans
I just love you!!!! At one point, I had three of my sister’s kids and overqualified by $20.00, yes twenty bucks. I was heartbroken and scared. I know have a total of 6 kids (5 from one sister and 1 (baby) from another sister-thank the Lord I have no more sisters). I also take care of an aging mother. I honestly try my best and pray that God takes care of the rest. Sometimes my prayer over the food we do eat consists of God turning it into “organic” in our bodies. Thank you for your honesty and struggle. I just love ya!
Ruthie
I am a mom of 3 children with one on the way, we cannot afford to eat organic either. I do the best that I can, and I am fastidious about avoiding GMO’s. One of the foods that I was upset with myself for being unable to afford organic was bread and bread related foods. Wheat is one of the worst foods for when it comes to GMO. I did some research, and amazon sells organic whole wheat flour at a far better price than I can buy it from my local stores. If you subscribe to Amazon mom and become a prime member, it will cost you about 80 dollars a year to be a member, but you will save 20% off of any subscribe and save order containing 5 items. That savings more than pays for the cost of a membership. I save about 2 dollars a tube for toothpaste since we only use Tom’s flouride free toothpaste. Great River milling is the company I purchase my flour from. I would recommend ordering from them and getting the savings by being a prime member. Being a prime member saves on shipping a lot. Most things ship free. This is the only way I have been able to afford to buy organic for quite a few of the items that I don’t want my children to eat. I hope this helps someone to be able to afford to feed their family better. God Bless you all.
Kathy Ruder
Thanks for that tip! I am always looking for ways to get whole foods for less!
Kathy
Erin – all that any of us can do is the best with what we have at the moment 😉 Bless you for posting this at a time when so many women are struggling in a weak economy – and feeling ashamed for needing a temporary helping hand. No one should be made to feel ashamed for needing a hand now and then – but our pride is a terrible enemy sometimes 😉 You are doing your best – and you are sharing valuable info with people who need it – and that is the best you can do at this time!
Cooking from scratch is one way to get better financial and nutritional bang for the buck- as you demonstrate. I was very lucky – when I was a young, broke single mom I knew how to cook from scratch, how to freeze and can foods (so I could – and still can -take advantage of 55 lbs of dented apples for 5$ – or a large black trash bag filled with kale). And I used my WIC coupons to stock up on the healthiest choices possible from what they gave at that time. Some moms were never taught the skills of cooking from scratch or preserving, and websites like your become a treasure to them as they learn 😉
In my town, Whole Foods has the best prices on organics – MUCH better than the discount supermarket – but each town is different…if it doesn’t involve a lot of driving/commute cost, mom’s should check out the “fancier” shops as well as the “discount” shops – because sometimes they have cheaper prices for certain key items. We have an A&P, a Pathmark, and a Whole Foods. For example, when WF does chicken sales, they sell local non-certified chicken for less than the sale price at the other two shops. Is it organic? No, Is it a better grade of chicken? Yes. Is it cheapest in town? Yep, WHEN it is on-sale..and that is when I buy 4-6 pks of drumsticks or whatever part is on-sale and freeze chicken til the freezer can’t take any more 😉 Also worth it to check out local farmer markets – many times the farmers will reduce prices at the close of day – or reduce for bruising, etc. Its always worth it to ask – or to ask if they can do a bulk buy discount (and then preserve or find other moms who want to split the bounty).
I go to a local non-certified but otherwise organic-friendly apple picking farm, and ask for “seconds” … which are hidden behind the barn at this location … seconds or “windfalls” are apples with dents and bruises that sell for under $10 for a whole bushel (50+ lbs!). Now, you have to be able to process them within a few days – think apple sauce, apple butter, frozen apple slices or dices for baking, dehydrated slices, chutney, etc.
I buy oats and beans in 25 and 50lb sacks – and store in glass jars (mice like oats too, we learned!) – this lets us get a discount by bulk purchasing PLUS it keeps me focused on scratch cooking and menu planning 😉 We live on large kettles of filling soups and chili all fall/winter/early spring – made with homemade stock from any bones I have from cooking, bones bought from the market either for free or on deep sale, and from my mom (who no longer makes stock and thinks I am nuts for doing it).
Jason Schiffner
Wow, this post is So, So powerful. This real man shed some tears. Thank your for your bravery.
Jason Schiffner
Wow, this post is So, So powerful. This real man shed some tears. Thank you for your bravery.
Jillian
A well needed post. Thank you for having the courage to share your point of view and your story. In the food blog world there does seem to be a lot of judgement and elitism with regards to Organic foods and though one may prefer it one may not be at a place in their budget to buy it. I have been on both sides of the coin, you do what is best for you at that time even if it is uncomfortable. This was a lovely heart felt post and I thank you for it.
Carrie
Seriously why can I not find someone like THIS to give my extra produce and goats milk, extra eggs away too??? That would be awesome … someone that would appreciate my hard work to grow those fruits and veggies, pick, wash, dry and pack them to drag them down to the market with two small children just for people to stick their noses up at them because they are Organic and I do not use pesticide and they aren’t always perfect looking but taste so much better than a supermarket veggie. I sometimes wonder why I still do it, I am sorry you feel that way for asking for help there are some people that truly need the help and we all know that. Thanks for being a productive person society appreciates you, I know this household does.
jan
if it hadnt of been for our church we wouldnt have eaten good. and i mean real food. not organic but we did have fruit. when a child is hungry they dont care if its organic. add fruits and veggies organic or not and leave the rest to God. God Bless and hope you prosper soon.
Rebekah
Dear Erin,
You addressed a really touchy subject and I was surprised to see it written from the perspective of someone who’s “been there”. Only when you go through those humbling experiences do you know what it’s like and have the authority to address issues like these.
I’ve read countless blog posts about family finances from people who haven’t “been there” and heard countless people talk about “managing your money” and giving the same superficial advice to “cut cable and cut back on expenses” or “make a budget” when those financially struggling families might not even have those things!
It’s so true what you said: “When people haven’t walked in your shoes or understand your circumstances, they can be very judgmental.”
Thanks for your post!
Jacki
Thanks for writing this. At the end of Aug 2013 my husband who has a PhD in EE lost his job. We are conservatives. We don’t feel other should have to give us “hand outs”. He filled unemployment which barely covers our mortgage, we sold our family car, we did everything we could but it still was not enough. I swallowed my pride and got medical for my kids and food stamps. We are a family of 5 and have always made it work. I also got a part time job. When your gluten free with food allergies it makes it A LOT harder. We still “try” to eat as best as we can. not all of us are gluten free and we have had issues with cross contamination. We try, we are not bad people, we just had an unlucky year. But it kills me when people talk behind their backs because they just assume we are not responsible folks. If only they knew
Danielle
I’ll admit, this made me tear up. I’m glad someone is willing to say, “Hey, trying counts. Doing what you can counts.” Because it really is a struggle, with or without food stamps, to eat healthier when all the cheap foods are so horrible for you. But sometimes, you really just need something in you to keep you from falling over. Makes those good for you foods taste SO much better…..
Rae
I really enjoy this blog and can relate to the comments Christine way above posted. In my home city of Philly it is sad because so many people do really feel entitled and actually admit to it. I am a disabled vet and work and no welfare, no wic, no foodstamps, no childcare reduced fee. My husband of over ten years left when our only child was born disabled even after tests showing we were to have a healthy child and he even states this is the reason. I do not receive child support as he left the country, etc. I work my job and also work any additional jobs I can find and also try growing food from pots etc. I get few hours of sleep at night. My disability is not compensated and since my income is too high my child does not qualify for ssi. I do not judge others who get assistance but when I hear certain people In person brag about free handouts I do become annoyed. My best friend came to the country illegally and was undocumented and she had a few kids and never worked (not even under the table) and gets assistance for all her kids and herself…she later became a citizen (long story on that process). I struggle to pay my child’s medical insurance and huge medical bills and copays. We have no cable and only Internet is off of work cell phone. I don’t qualify for Heating assistance or nothing. My friend she qualifies for everything and says she sees no reason to go to work and struggle like me and that does upset me. She’s not the only one who says this to me. It does become discouraging when they have clothes for their kids and their self and cable and Internet and cell phones and computers and printers etc …and many admit to me its their family providing them with a lot of material items and since their food and medical and electric/heating is covered they do not have the same bills that I have.
I do feel as if so many working single moms who don’t qualify for help and don’t receive child support or any assistance and don’t have family do have it difficult, but then again everyone does have their own struggles and Battles. I am grateful that my night job and weekend job allows my child to come with me and during my day job my child is in preschool and would not be allowed to come with me to my day job. I am exhausted after working 16 hour plus days and very little sleep.
It is nice to read how we shouldn’t be so judgement about food. I do try to buy some organic, it is difficult at times even after two full time jobs. I do not have material items. Any gifts I sold to pay off medical bills for child. The rest of the postings on this blog are great to read also. Here in my city lots of people admit they have no embarrassment using their foodstamp card. Its refreshing to see that people on here really do work as much as possible and odd additional jobs, because sometimes I feel like out of everyone I know that I’m the only one working more then one full time job.
Sorry if post doesn’t make sende responding from work cell that has small screen. Keep up the great posts.
Mel
This is what is wrong with our country – we can’t have the best therefore we will find a way for someone else to pay for it for us. WIC is not free, Welfare and Medicaid is not free – to the working mothers!
Namey
No one is under the delusion that those things are free. That is the whole purpose of taxes – to pay for things people actually need. Pooling resources is how insurance works and it is how things like emergency services are paid for. Even the poorest people pay sales tax when they make purchases, and it makes sense for wealthier people to help poorer people. Maybe try being glad it’s there in case anything happens to you that you couldn’t prevent. It’s sad that you begrudge the meager help to struggling mothers. People on assistance are certainly not receiving “the best” – it’s barely enough to survive on anyway. Some americans are really strange. Your country does not amass its wealth in a vaccum, nor do individual businesspeople. But when it comes to helping fellow americans survive in the same system you do, you act like you are being robbed for some nefarious purpose. Sad.
sarah Ertzberger
wow, and thank you so much for this post, just yesterday I read a post from someone else talking about how you can and should buy organic food, and I’m in that spot right now where that’s just not going to happen, $400 a month for 6 people just doesn’t get that. I’ll be honest, at first when I saw this post I started to not even read it just because how guilty and low that post from another blog made me feel yesterday and I didn’t want to feel that way again, but it’s so nice to know that there are other families out there like ours and it’s nice to know it’s not just us and that we aren’t doing wrong by our children just because we can’t afford that.
Rachel
Thank you for the great article! My husband is also a school teacher taking on any extra tutoring or coaching to bring in more money. Yet he makes too much money for us to get food stamps but we qualify for WIC. We feed our family of four on $80 every other week! Thanks so much for the article it really helped me feel its OK if I can’t do organic.
Megan
Thank you. I needed this so much.
Jessica @ConveyAwareness
I’m seeking permission to share this link on a future round-up I’m writing sharing resources and recipes for families on low and fixed incomes. The post will publish on 3/30. I will only link back to your article, not use any of your images. LMK. ~ Jessica
Erin
Sure, Jessica! Thanks for asking! 🙂
Shari
Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU for this post! I have 8 children and one income and my husband has type 1 diabetes with complications. One of my children most likely has Celiac disease and we have a slew of med bills, as well as credit card bills that we are trying to work out of from being young and dumb. We are now eating Paleoish, but there is no way I can afford organic for our family. I get a mostly grassfed steer and am getting a good pig for our meat. I will get what I can from farmers market and like you try to get what I can cheaply from the store in organic, but most of it is conventional. Its the best we can do. Thank you for your encouragement.
Christy
Absolutely loved reading this post. I feel much the same way. We do try to eat fresh and are trying to cut out everything processed. However there is no way that we can buy only organic. Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to, but it’s not possible. We do grow a garden and are hoping to start raising some animals of our own; chickens, goats, etc. I do believe that God sees our sincerity and knows that we are trying to do what is best for our families. I also believe that before you eat a meal or eat anything, that is why prayer is important. Pray over your food, ask God to bless it and sanctify it for your body. I don’t think that justifies eating whatever we want, but if we are truly trying to do what’s best, God will honor our prayers and take out the impurities! Thank you for your post, it was a blessing!
Jenn @bakodepot.blogspot.com
Many can check out their local CSAs in their area at localharvest.org and eatwild.com.
Our CSA fed 6-8 adults per week for $40 and included seasonal fruits and veggies. Whatever our family of 4 didn’t eat, went either into the freezer for later, or to the chickens.
I live in Bakersfield, CA with my family of 4 and we have $400 budgeted for groceries. Not much junk food around here since I’ve cut out most grains. CSA was the best decision our family could have made. The rest of our grocery money goes into savings for local grass fed meat and dairy.
More on my blog at bakodepot.blogspot.com
Emmajohnson
Organic food is some kind of food that maintains the health of the individuals and prevents them from the harmful diseases so the cost of the organic food may be high and this is the reason why people are unable to afford the organic food. But by the proper planning of budget and expenditure make the organic food affordable to them.
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Tracy Gage
Good article. I have been on both sides. 15 years ago we were on WIC and went to one income when our first was born. At the time WIC did not offer much that we desired to eat. For instance you received a lot of canned juice every month-I chose grape and donated to my church for communion. They did give us cheese, which was great! I have also been the other person…the one who insists that those who “can’t afford it” get rid of their extras and then maybe they could. We now purchase mostly all whole, organic foods. I actually have had the check out people comment on my groceries…wow, you eat really healthy! I do have to say people ask all the time about how we do it…how we can afford to eat that way. In EVERY conversation I have had the other folks have a television (and cannot believe we can live without one), cable TV, some new electrical gadget or cell phone I don’t even know the name for. They normally purchase a bunch of packaged food, don’t bake, grow gardens, etc. Many of them prefer to drink pop, mixes for iced tea or special drinks over water. I actually read a conversation of some acquaintances in the last week that talked about the fact they just could NOT stomach water and had to find out what to put in it to make it tolerable so they could go down to just 1 diet pop a day. SAD! In my opinion a lot of people don’t buy organic because they really have never been taught how to actually cook and live frugally. And, we are a spoiled nation. Many would rather spend money on making sure our kids have a spot on the sports teams and travel to see them, than letting go of that and eating healthy (among other examples). Our priorities are backwards I feel. I do believe there are those that seriously CANNOT and have exhausted all options. One neat thing that has happened since I was on WIC and voiced my concern about what you could get using WIC (the fact that “fruit” was the canned juice laden with sugar and all sorts of other nasty things), is that you can now get actual whole fruit and veggies-something I could not do then. It was super frustrating. Also, the comment about cancer in the article. I know I will get flack for this comment, but that is one of the main reasons I switched my way of eating. At the time we went to one income, got WIC and had a baby my young Grandma passed away of cancer. She lasted a lot longer than expected and I do believe it is because of the diet that my Grandpa prepared for her…that was recommended by a non-medical cancer facility in Reno that they would travel to. Whole foods, raw foods, etc. That is what began my more healthy eating and buying ways and it has evolved since then. I like the article, good points…but, I must say I do still have guilt for how I took care of my body before this time and how I fed my children early on. I am doing some more changing currently. Realizing my body really does not need the quantity of food I have been giving it. It might just need a few raw almonds or a boiled egg for a little protein here and there and then trying to just eat 2 meals a day with these healthy snacks when needed. I would encourage those who want to eat healthy to drink the recommended amount of water for the day…keeps you more full and try some new things! Also, if you have a local store like an outlet grocery, check there. Ours was not real great at first, but with the demand they now have a great organic section, even produce. When I find something I regularly use I stock up. Buying in bulk will save you money, but at first it will seem costly. I purchased several bulks items per month to get me on a cycle of having a lot of bulk in my pantry. I also, many years ago, would shop a local produce market-very small. He would sell me very cheaply and sometimes GIVE me the off fruit (he thought I was crazy for wanting it). If it was too off I would feed it to my chickens, but the majority of the time we ate it. We had way over-ripe cantaloupe and it made fabulous dried fruit for snacks! I canned a lot of it to make it stretch over time as well. You can also check if you have local orchards/farms as sometimes I have found they will let you come in and glean after their season is over. We spent last year living in Alaska (where most foods are super costly). People do a lot of bulk buying as well as going in on gardens together. They will borrow or rent a piece of land as a group and then prepare, plant, tend and harvest it together. Many hands make light work! It produced so much they blessed us with a bounty from it. They do a lot of trading in Alaska. If one person bags a moose and someone else scores on the salmon then they trade so each family has a variety. We also ordered from Azure a good co-op delivered 1/month. You could order a 50 pound bag of carrots for less money for example and then find several others who wanted to split it. Another way to save is on meat. There are so many protein foods that aren’t meat. It’s worth the research. I started off making 1 meal a week that didn’t include meat and it goes to as much as 3 now. We also hunt our own meat (which I realize some live in an area where they may not be able to) and we also fish for our own fish (again not doable for some). There are so many ideas to saving on the grocery bill and I love to hear others ideas! If you are just starting to switch over, remember it’s a process for most…start with the most important things A couple things on the “dirty dozen” list, etc. It took me probably 10-12 years to really feel like I had made a complete switch. It can be done, but for me it wasn’t overnight. I am currently giving a new friend some suggestions, she asked to pick my brain for ideas. I think she just truly was never taught…but, we all have to start somewhere and she desires to start!
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Danielle
I have seen that article about living off a food stamps budget. I am not too proud to say when my husband got out of the Air Force we were on food stamps, we were accepted at 250$ a month and were on it for a year and by the end we were down to 187 since each month they kept lowering it for us and lowering it. We have always been on WIC. I medically can’t breast feed and formula was too expensive. My husband has always had a job and up until I had out first I did too. When we both had jobs in the beginning we had a 40$ gas budget and a 20$ food budget with my husband I and my step daughter, a 3 year old. Let me tell you, we lived off dollar store food. I hated it, we are slowly moving into a place where I can get some organic foods, but we at least we are eating and buying a lot more fresh fruits and veggies which always go to the kids first. When we were on food stamps we had one cell phone with the minimum 30$ plan, no cable, no internet. and one winter we couldn’t afford gas and went without heat. Life is hard, but we pray and slowly get better and better. In the end I hear ya!
Kate
Way to go ladies! I am so proud of the hard work you do to feed your families the best that you can.
One thing I would ask of the people (like myself) who are in a good spot to help / serve these ladies: Can you invite people over for a good /gourmet dinner twice a week? (America’s Test Kitchen recipes are always a hit)
Right now my husband and I try to invite various couples from our church and our neighborhood over because (1) I love trying new / amazing foods!!! (2) I love filling our table with your children (and enjoying their honest assessment of my first attempt at Indian food. -haha!)
Now mamas, PLEASE accept my (and other people’s) invitations to come over!!!! I keep hearing about how people don’t want to have their kids destroy my house (it’s just a house), how they can’t because then they’d need to invite me over, and how picky they consider themselves (I can make pizzas, gluten free even!!!).
Let me (and other families) love on / serve you!!!
Also, in college my friends and I used to make huge potlucks with taco bars, pizzas, and other easy what do you have left in your fridge favorites… Get creative and collaborate. 🙂
Nisha
I know you wrote this sometime last year, but I just wanted to thank you for writing this! This is where I am right now, a very tight budget, cooking from scratch, striving to buy the best foods possible. I humbled myself and went to a food pantry when we needed it. This post was timely and encouragement. Thanks again.
Roxane
I read so many comments from people who think being on Food Stamps (Now it is called SNAP) is a bad thing. The program was designed to help people as a supplement to what they spend on their monthly food budget. In most states, the program does not count savings accounts, retirement accounts, the value of a vehicle (s) or whether or not you have a house.
It makes me happy when I see someone at the store using their EBT card. I know that as a society, I am helping. Are there people who are on the program who ‘shouldn’t’ be? Probably. And there are most certainly people on the program who need help!
For those of you who were able to get a little help, great! I am glad. I am glad that my taxes are going to help in just a teensy way.
Amy
First, I don’t mean to sound like I’m judging, but if you are too poor for a car and are considering welfare because you are too poor to feed your family when you have two kids – what can you possibly be thinking in having three more, or even one more?
God isn’t providing enough food or money apparently so I don’t understand the thought process there.
Second, this blog post is one if the worst I’ve ever read. So, if I can’t feed my family organically- look for handouts? Oh wait that’s just if I can’t afford to feed them at all, right. But I should trust god that I should make more kids I can’t feed.
This type if blind “grace” is what gives religion a bad name . It’s more like ignorance
Miss Jane Doe
Shame on you for your rudeness and ignorance.
Mary
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. When my son was small, we had to take him to the emergency room. The hospital said that since my husband and I were both unemployed at the time to go apply for Medicaid. I also filled out the papers for food stamps because we were scraping by with very little. We were told that because we were getting unemployment that we made too much money for any type of government help. I also felt embarrassed and relieved too. The next job that my husband did get was working in a kitchen and for years after that God provided meals from that kitchen. And even though we have gotten past that time – we still can’t afford organic. I agree, we can only do our best with what we have.
jd
THANK YOU. I just about fell over on my grocery bill today. 215$, usually it is 128$ (every 2 weeks). I just needed FOOD in the house. Fresh produce and some extra meat! I still feel I needed more and PUT BACK STUFF! Trader Joes and Aldi’s is my life saver. We have two little ones and I now stay-at-home. I went to apply for a food card, they wanted so much information I felt uncomfortable… and violated almost! I also have a degree, and it sucks hearing the ‘why don’t you’ comments. Kid’s have food allergies, people always have comments on how to handle that, makes food money $$$, it has become hard to hide we are struggling. There is too much to layout in a comment but thank you again, for the post AND comments! I need to hear I am not alone…
beebeefox
I love you for writing this. We are in the thick of this. Growing boys, allergies, etc. It’s nearly impossible. But, God is good and He provides and we do what we can with what we have.
Ashley
So, I cried while reading your post. Pregnant and almost word for word in that space. Thanks for sharing this. I don’t feel so alone and I see a hope that is will not always be how it will be.
Thanks!
Laura
Thank you for sharing this. I feel judged so often for not buying organic… its just not in the budget… but the bottom line is that a conventional carrot is better than no carrot…. thanks 🙂
katelyn
Love this! thank you for sharing you heart:)
Erin
Thank you!
anonymous
Agree with the article but it should be mom and dads or parents. Not everything is a moms world. Moms and dads feed their kids.
Erin
This was a particular series addressed to moms….but you are so right…it should be to dads as well!
Karen
Have any of you seen this website? She lives in NC and took a challenge to eat on the gov’t poverty level of $1 per meal per person. It’s an interesting read and she has lot of recipes – all organic. Yes, it’s just her and her husband, but you can still apply her method. http://www.cookforgood.com/
Erin
I had not heard of her! Thanks for sharing!
Carrie
i saw a tweet recently that said something like “stop fighting food”. i spent years going through phases. real food everything. organic everything. convenience everything. things i could buy with coupons everything. weight watchers everything. whole 30 everything. and anytime i was in a particular phase i pretty much couldn’t eat anything from the other phases so lots of stuff was going bad and i was throwing out a lot of food. i’m trying to relax about it all and just let myself eat whatever i want with the guiding principle of “eat more vegetables”. so far so good. i’m down to my lowest weight since having a baby about 7 months ago.
mandy
this post came to me at my most time of need to read it. it has boosted me made me feel not so alone thank you for sharing your story sometimes you have no idea just what words spoken out loud telling someone i know where you are i know how you feel this is why can do for someone
thank you
Angela Head
Loved this! Thank you for sharing this! More than you know are in the same boat and are wanting to get healthier foods into their kids bellies,but find it hard to do so. I have been there too. I have found one good way to do it( and it doesn’t cost $600 a month). I would be happy to tell you more about it if you want. You can just email me 🙂 Thanks again, I will be sharing your post!
Jenn
THANK YOU for speaking such truth! I live in the same area as you and I’m so tired of those who act like eating organic is possible for everyone no matter your income level. I’m in a very difficult place financially and have read so many articles/blog posts looking for new ways to cut back, save money, even make money, etc. This is probably the most real and honest one I’ve read. So many posts with titles that scream they are going to teach you something new only to recycle the same stuff we all know, posts that claim they are going to show you “how you can really make money blogging/taking surveys/surfing the web/etc. in just a few minutes a day”, posts that are going to teach you how you too can actually eat 100% organic on just pennies a week – when truthfully THEY are making money off of you clicking their links while you waste another hour of your life and are no better for it! When I was in a better place financially, yes, we ate healthier. But now I am working too many hours and still making far too little to buy all the healthiest and freshest foods plus have the time to prepare them. Unfortunately, yes, we are eating more processed foods. But I know this is only temporary. Thank you so much for an honest and non-judgmental post that makes me feel less alone!
Jing
Love this post. I’ve been planning to feed organic food to my family but everytime I am in the grocery, I end up picking the cheaper options. We live in an agriculturally rich land but it’s ironic that average families couldn’t afford the organic crops our country produces. They are way expensive!
So glad you posted your thoughts on this. Thank you for putting it out there.
Charity
I can afford to buy a few things like Organic coconut oil and stevia, but that’s about it. I asked the Lord to bless food and purify it. I think He does. 🙂 There are so many people of faith out there that hasn’t eaten organic and they live happy and peaceful lives. And if we do die early, what’s better living in heaven?!
Mandi
I remember God’s truth in Mark 16:17-18 and I pray that over all our food, especially anything non-organic or processed, because we can’t afford to eat totally healthy and we have to eat what we get from the food bank or what my husband buys.
Erin
Yes! Don’t beat yourself up over what you can afford. Do the best you can!
Jean
Dear mom who can’t afford organic food, I’m a 62 year old Nonna, I have 2children and 3 grandchildren . I try to buy organic as much as I can. I have an organic garden in the summer, can as much as I can, but still find it hard to go 100 percent organic. Don’t punish yourself, you are doing your best and that’s what is important. When I buy non organic I just make sure it is washed well, say your blessing and enjoy! I think the majority on this blog have such wonderful hearts and intentions it makes me feel that your generation will be okay. Bless all of you, and believe me, your family’s angels are taking care of the rest!
Erin
Thanks so much, Jean!!!
Vanessa
I really identify with your other post about being SAHM and barely affording it. We do so many similar things to save $. Love it. Another thing that has really helped us is following the book All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren. It helps you get your must have expenses down to 50% of take home pay so that you can save and also have money for wants. It has been a life changing book for me. I appreciate what you are trying to do in this article, but I want to say that everyone makes their own choices. For us, we try to do mostly organic but our kids wear very used clothes. Which I love! I love that our kids are healthy and happy and it doesn’t matter to me that their clothes don’t match or are stained by markers or paints that they’ve been playing in. I noticed you have a nice camera to take pictures for your blog I presume. I would LOVE to have a nice camera like that but we have gone without it. Everyone makes their own choices. I ask you to offer full disclosure of your budget or just take a closer look at your budget yourself. Maybe there is an expense on there that is more of a want and not a need?
Erin
Thanks for the suggestions, Vanessa!!
Cassandra
Thank you so much for writing this! My husband decided on a career change at in 2009. That meant going back to school to get a Masters degree and making less money than we have ever made by leaving a corporate job for public service. It has been a journey to say the least. But through it all as I tried to distance myself from others on assistance(one year our AGI was $11,000) the Lord kept saying that He brought us here so that we would have a common bond with those who live on assistance so that we could minister to them. And we are getting ready to do just that! Nothing we walk in this life is ever in vain if we allow God to use it. Slowly my husband is working towards promotion but I thank God for this time because we saw Him move miraculously so many times. We have truly seen the parting of the Red Sea.
Erin
What a testimony, Cassandra!! I felt the same as you about assistance, but now I am glad I had it because it has given me an ability to relate to others that I would have never had before. Thanks so much for sharing!
Mandi
I am in these shoes right now. I am a stay-at-home mom and I homeschool three of my children, and breastfeed and cloth diaper my 19 mo old. My husband is the only one working and I feel guilty sometimes because the burden has gradually been put on his shoulders over the past few years. I was working as a cna in a nursing home a few years ago, but quit because I couldn’t be a part of a system that medicates the elderly to keep them in line. I started cleaning houses, but it wasn’t enough, so we qualified for food stamps. At first we were getting a lot, and we were able to eat organic healthy food. Over the years, they kept decreasing our foodstamps, even though our income was not increasing. It was getting harder and harder to support organic eating. I feel blessed that God has revealed the wisdom to me about what’s really in the foods we eat and all the chemicals and what they cause health-wise, but sometimes it’s a burden knowing that information when I have no choice but to eat what we get from the food bank and what my husband buys. I am no longer cleaning houses because I couldn’t keep a babysitter. The money I was making to buy produce and other groceries, is now gone and my unhealthy, “I don’t care what I eat” husband does all the grocery shopping. We are no longer on foodstamps. I felt God telling us to get off of them this summer, it was a hard decision, but now I don’t have to worry about the government using that as leverage when things get real bad. I felt like I was right under their big fat thumb when I was on foodstamps. Now we barely make it. Sometimes a kind friend helps out and buys us groceries. I get excited for joy when I get more than one green thing that comes out of the ground!! I am trying to plan a way to become self sustainable. That takes money which we have to wait till incone tax comes in to be able to have enough to get the supplies we need for a garden and some chickens and a coop. We were just blessed with a spike deer on the last day of buck season. Now my freezer is full of venison. My husband prayed and God gave. I think God is teaching us to be dependent on Him and not the government. It is so hard to not put my kids back into public school, stick the baby in daycare and go get a minimum wage job, but then I remind myself that this is my calling, to teach my children truth in homeschooling and that daycare is overpriced and full of germs. So I keep praying and keep praying. I am humbled more and more each week, and I am more appreciative ever time we do get food, especially fresh food. And we did cut off the cable. I hated it, I actually prayed God would make a way to cut it off, and we were cut off because we couldn’t afford it. Most of cable shows ate wicked crud, and since it was cut off, I don’t have to fight with my kids so much to get up and clean and go outside. They have been forced to use their own imaginations. We now have both our vehicles paid off, praise God! One just got paid off and then broke down. My husband was forced to figure it out himself and he fixed it!! Now we will have one less car payment so I hope that will free us up to keep more produce around the house till I can grow my own. Out here where I live, it’s really rocky, so if I want a big garden, it’ll all be raised beds. Now I’m stuck between getting my GED and doing school or just keeping it this way. I passed my GED pre-tests, so it’s not a matter of passing or not, and someone at my church offered to pay for my tests, I think it’s a matter of fear. I’m afraid once I do that, my husband will force me to get a full-time job and I will have to do the public school/daycare thing, and there’s no daycares around here willing to cloth diaper my baby. I am very smart and know a lot about health and homeopathic stuff. I’ve heard people tell me I should look into blogging and making money to help support my family and still be a homemaker and teacher to my kids. How would one go about blogging to bring in some grocery money? Any advice would be a blessing. Thanks in advance and thank you for sharing your humility and your story.
Erin
Hi Mandi…I know your struggles, and I know it often feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there! I wrote a series on how I make money blogging. You can read it here: https://thehumbledhomemaker.com/pick-my-brain
Elizabeth
Hi! What an encouraging read. As someone who is trying to feed my family real foods on a tight budget (we recently had a month where our grocery/gas/extra was only $75!!) , I understand. Thank you for being the encouraging voice for families struggling with what and how they provide. 🙂 Blessings!
Erin
I’m so glad you were encouraged!
Melissa
I so needed to hear this. I have been on a journey to feed, cloth, and provide my family with healthier choices. I try to grow a garden every year, sometimes it turns out well and others not so much. I would LOVE to buy organic everything but we cant. My husband is out of work due to PTSD and i am a homemaker and homeschooling mom. I have been looking for work, but have to home school our youngest daughter, yes by choice, but also have to deal with the multiple drs appointments for my husband, and counseling appointments, etc. We have applied for Food stamps and don’t qualify due to the fact that we make 30$ over their allotment for income. I rarely spend 100$ per month on groceries and have had to go to our local food pantry’s when i needed to. We are lucky in one aspect: we have been raising our own meat for over 10 years and our freezer is full so we don’t need to buy meat Thank the Good Lord for providing. I try to buy local and in bulk when i can, and dehydrate or freeze what i can and have abundance of but often i am unable to. Thank you for being the voice for all of us who feel shame in wanting our family to eat well but not having the means to do it. There shouldn’t be shame in this, in needing help, in doing what ever it is that you need to do to provide for your family and asking or receiving help…………
Erin
I am so glad you found some encouragement in this post, Melissa! Hang in there! I loved this: “There shouldn’t be shame in this, in needing help, in doing what ever it is that you need to do to provide for your family and asking or receiving help…………” Amen!
Melissa
Here I am… at the bottom of about a thousand comments 🙂 We aren’t “struggling” for money, but we aren’t floating in it either, and trying to decide what to do with all of it. But food allergies seem to be seeping out of our skins this last 2 years. My husband – gluten, my son {who is almost 4} “tbd”… food allergy test coming up. And my daughter {who is just over 1 1/2}, looks like its the pesticides on fruit… there for, she might need organic fruits. It half dreads me. There is also a chubby, deep creased, almost 4mo. blue eyed baby boy who graces my day with new giggles. The idea of having to go to a specific store just for fruit—- makes me tired. But we do a lot of natural. I buy Young Living oils- it has saved us a lot of dr. trips. We budget, and I almost go nuts, because I try to give my kiddos fruit instead of “snacks”, and it almost puts us over budget. My almost 4 yr. old has hit a growth spurt, and is constantly hungry.
But I’m here to say “YOU GO MOMMA!!!”
So many people assume that because your healthy, or because the husband works so much, that ya’ll should be fine. But no one else see’s your bills each week. Those people with out allergies, don’t notice the price of gluten free, organic, diary free items. It effects the pocket for sure.
Stand tall in the fact that YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU KNOW HOW. There is NO SHAME in that! You are feeding your little people, they are growing, most likely “happy” 😉 And love you no matter what.
This too shall pass. Have Faith, and keep pressing on. Because before you know it…. you’ll be looking back and wondering how you did it.
Thanks for the read…. it was encouraging even for someone who isn’t scraping the bottom of the bucket, but is stressed because of other things.
Better Days Ahead…..
christi
id love to know what state this is how many kids what their income was and where she or the person she got the 600.00 figure ? bc everything i know tells me that figure is super high . while i dont get food stamps i have many years ago and it was no where near that figure . i curently have a single mom niece that has 4 kids works a min wage job and gets food stamps under 300.00 a month. thats a far cry frm 600.00 only way imo someones getting 600 is if the have ZERO income . so yep they have food money bu they have no rent gas or any other money. and that is not what the majority are getting . so my niece makes after taxes 250 a week so thats 1000.00 for a family of 5 . try to pay every bill on that and you will know why shes struggling and needs food stamps. so in food thats 10.00 per day for a family of 5 . there are more struggles to them eating healthy then just the cost . being a full time working single mom you dont have a lot of time to shop around get bargains like most of us do let alone time to prep ahead and cook healthy vs quick. not that it cant be done im saying get a grip its just not that easy . im tired of hearing how people on food stamps have it easy and are rolling in money for soda and steak its a joke . propaganda . it amazes me we in america want to help anyone in any other country but have a bias against helping our own people. i coupon , i shop healthy , but i also spend a lot of time working on it , i dont pretend everyone has the amount of time i have .
Erin
I totally agree with you, Christi! The state was NC. I originally linked to the blog post but then didn’t want to defame the blogger who did the challenge, but $600/month was over-the-top unrealistic. I hope your niece will find some good help and encouragement. I think it’s a crying shame how those who need help are looked down upon in our country. I am actually writing a book about that right now!
Diane
We are a family of 6, and there is no way we can afford to eat organic all the way. What I do is that I buy organic milk. And some fruits/ veggies I try to buy organic, such as strawberries, or the more “pourous” types of fruits. But with the rest of the fruits and veggies, I will wash them well using a little vinegar and baking soda in cold water, or Biokleen’s produce wash. It at least gets rid of residues on the surface from sprayed on pesticides, etc.
Also, I cannot afford to buy grassfed beef, etc. But I go to the meat store and buy some buffalo and beef bones (from grassfed cattle) with some meat still attached to it. I roast them and then simmer them for 72 hours to make a soup stock. It is a cheap way to get all the benefits of organic protein.
Also be aware of certain produce that is likely GMO. Many corn and soybean products are like that, so I will try to either avoid, or buy organic versions if on sale.
Elise @ Harvey Ever After
What a great post! I think a lot of moms and families need to hear this. We are also at the point where buying organic doesn’t fit in the budget, but we have been able to cut out most processed foods. And we want to grow out own (even a few fruit trees, at some point), but we have a rental house and will be moving soon, so we are definitely limited there, at least for the short term. So, I have decided to be okay with where we are at, knowing that I am doing the best I can. Thanks again for a truly wonderful post.
Jenny
Erin- awesome post. When we had our first child, we had just returned home to the US from serving on the mission field. We had very little and we were determined that me staying home was the best for our son. My grocery budget was $45/week and I was a mess about it. Your advice is spot on. Do the best you can with what you have. I cried when I found out we qualified to receive WIC. Cried with relief and some embarrassment. Reading your thoughts, it is as though you read my mind! The appointments were never upsetting to me, but shopping in the store was a humbling experience… every single time. Paying with those tell-tale checks. We got the maximum allotments and then used all that milk to make pudding, yogurt, soup, etc. As soon as we felt we could buy our needed food, we stopped taking WIC even though we still qualified and would continue to qualify for another 5 years. We don’t eat organic stuff, but we eat real food and I have some of the healthiest kids on the planet. Thanks for your post!
Jean | DelightfulRepast.com
Erin, I feel blessed to be able to buy nearly all organic food for my husband and me by cutting back in other areas. If we had children at home, it might be a different story. I always try to encourage those who can manage it to buy organic, but I would never judge anyone for their choices. It’s wonderful that you could share your story about seeking public assistance. It may make someone stop and think the next time they are in the grocery line judging the person in front of them. I always say, it’s better to be kind than superior.
Raven
So I saw a bit of this post at the beginning and thought, “Wow, someone has written something that is actually relevant to a poor person’s life!” And then I read the rest of it, and was amazed to again find more redundancy and nothing helpful and a bunch of idiocy. You don’t even QUALIFY for food stamps, and therefore clearly make enough to like actually buy things – you probably have Q-Tips and toilet paper that you paid for in the house, you probably buy your kids expensive, $10+ toys and games sometimes, and you probably have everything that a normal house is expected to have (other then pharmaceuticals, hopefully), such as more then three plates and furniture in every room with whole beds instead of mattress or sleeping bags, every spice that you might need for cooking, a stock of band-aids, mosquito repellent, and postage stamps, etc. – yet you claim to want to be healthy and are shopping at ALDIS???!??? You clearly are not REMOTELY interested in healthy eating, or else you would shop at Mariano’s and Meijer, where the produce is both cheaper and WAAAAAY the fuck in better condition then Aldi’s, and you would NEVER even REMOTELY CONSIDER ingesting ANYTHING from their stores, except for the carbonated water and the bread (since the bread is no worse health-wise then other bread that is not toxin-free, and since toxin-free bread costs $6… then again you could also do the more intelligent thing and simply not use bread). INTELLIGENT HOMELESS PEOPLE are eating healthier then you and yet you claim to care about eating healthy? …No, you do not “get it” at all. You are no better then the rest of the sheep who just shop at Wal-Mart because they “want to,” or the rich people who eat at restaurants that cost $50+ per person but still do not even use grass-fed meat. You are the same as everyone else… you probably think that buying vegetables is healthy and that something that says “organic” on the box is also healthy, but that “Lean Pockets” are also acceptable and not full of deadly toxins that will kill you a lot. And no cancer does not “cost more” then eating and living healthy. Having cancer is free.
…Not to mention that extreme stupidity about “I am doing everything I can to avoid having to use food stamps because I am dumb enough to think someone will look at me funny, and even more ludicrously, I am dumb enough to actually care whether or not some random person looks at me funny.” That right there pretty much makes you lose all credibility anyway… but if you have EVER stepped foot into a Wal-Mart or Aldi’s after supposedly becoming aware of what toxic food is, and yes that means LITERALLY EVER EVEN ONE SINGLE TIME EVER (not counting the first few times that you may have gone into Wal-Mart before realizing that they don’t sell anything edible, and also not counting any times you may have gone into Wal-Mart and vastly avoided the grocery and food areas, such as to buy a refrigerator or a pan or a water filter).
Your need some SERIOUS redefining if you think that what you wrote is remotely relevant to someone who is both poor and ideally-toxin-free. At all.
Will Odom
Raven,
You made an awful lot of ignorant assumptions there that have no basis, and frankly you have no idea what we went through or what we could or could not afford. We barely overqualified for food stamps…by like $100, but we did have WIC. You have some serious issues that you need to work out, so perhaps you should redefine your attitude and thought processes and educate yourself before you comment on this page again.
Kennedy
What was the point of this article? Yes, organic food is more expensive. Everyone knows that. Some people can afford it, some cannot. This is news? This read this as the plight of a woman that is struggling to make ends meet, with organic food being just one of the many things she goes without. Name someone by name that has an “elitist” attitude. A neighbor, you mom, a church goer? Is that what spawned this vent? Sorry, it sounds as if this woman is unhappy with her life and is finding a way to justify needing government assistance.
Miss Jane Doe
Have you been on the Internet lately? I’ve had to stop following just about every mom blog out there because of comments like yours. People who don’t make organic or make everything in the house from scratch are stereotyped as lazy, obese, ignorant or “sucking off the government teat.” This woman and her husband have clearly paid into the system as taxpayers. They have nothing to be ashamed of. You, on the other hand, need to take a long hard look in the mirror.
Ashley
As someone who grew up very poor, I just want to say thank you for this post. My mother worked three jobs and my father two. They did the best they could with the situation that they had. As a current senior in college struggling to find enough money to finish my last year, this has given me hope. While I do not have little ones to feed, eating healthy myself is a challenge. This summer I am currently working four jobs but I know in the end it will all be worth it.
Miss Jane Doe
I know this is an old post, but thank you for the sincere and honest article. As a mama on a tight budget (and now on food stamps myself), I get so tired of other moms and “health experts” looking down their nose at those of us who don’t buy 100 percent organic. In fact, I’ve had to stop following just about every single “mom” blog out there due to the outright snottiness of the people who visit. As you said, it is flat-out more expensive to buy organic/healthy foods than it is to eat a poor diet. Paying $2.99 to $3.99 for a pint of berries v. 87 cents for the non-organic is a no-brainer. It is assumed that just because someone is not 100 percent organic and/or homemade they are either a) lazy b)ignorant c) uncaring about their families’ health d) obese or e) all of the above. As you stated, the argument about cancer costing more than organic is ridiculous when your budget is dependent upon having a roof over your head and something – anything – to feed little mouths.
a woman
I am a mother from Europe, with same questions and sad ideas. Yes, I cannot afford organic food all the time. But, guess what? with one job in the family (mine) I found more solutions for a good food: collect wild plants eat-ble, grow myself some vegetables in containers from collected seeds/donated seeds/ from kitchen scraps, I learned the real flavor and to identify the local producers where to buy quality products without the bio brand, I re learn to make bread and to use and re-use some ingredients, then I found a small land to use as my garden etc. Learn to can what is really cheap and in the season. And surprise: we didn’t pass at the pharma about 5 years.
In plus, reading and reading my budget, I notice the main issue is not the food but the bills. I attacked these one by one, and I increased the walking ( I never had a car), no tv, just one mobile in house, less electricity consumption, less chemicals, less taxes to the bank and … finally more money for food and for us. Yes, I learned that is better to follow where the money will go than to check where my money left.
Joy A.
We have close friends who were on food stamps when her husband was out of a job (they cancelled when he got a job). I was shocked at how much they received from the government for food! It is a lot more than our grocery budget and I am positive that we would not even be close to being accepted for food stamps.
Erin
That’s exactly how I felt!
Dana
All I can say is I love your sweet, encouraging heart. Your family is blessed to have you. Your blog blesses so many including me, a young grandma. ?
Erin
Thank you so much, Dana. I am so glad you are encouraged!!
Bee
So why continue to have children if you can’t afford to feed even one???
Will Odom
Should having children only be for the wealthy? No one has ever gone hungry, so you can easy your worries.
Colleen G
Blessings to you for writing this article. We are a family of 8 on food stamps. Our monthly budget overall is very strict. The food end of it is crazy tight. There have been times of crazy strict meal planning. I don’t think the organic preachers with attitude have any idea what it is like to have to wonder if you are going to have enough food to last until the end of the month. They just say fluff like the blogger you mentioned or live where organic is only a small amount more expensive than regular. Here it costs way more and of small selection. I wish people would be kind instead of assuming you are a lazy loser for life not going the way you planned it.
Julia
I have been that over judgmental mom. I am sorry. I truly am. I have also been the organic purist. Until I was *out-pured*. My monthly shopping budget is more than generous but we’ve decided to put our money to use in better, more fruitful ways. So we’ve given up most organic foods. We do buy beef in bulk from a farmer but other than that, no more purist. I just hit my limit. No matter what you did, someone was always telling me/you/the world that you *could* do more. To the tune of buying super-specialty flour at almost $200 for 20-25 pounds not including shipping. I almost caved on that vary things two months ago. I read part of Nourishing Traditions and left it behind wondering how my children’s teeth hadn’t rotted out yet or that they’ll be riddled with disease in their teen and adult years. I just can’t do it anymore. I pray that the food we buy nourishes our children’s bodies and spirits. I pray over the seeds I plant in my garden. I pray for forgiveness for being *that* person and I pray for forgiveness for eating food from unethically farmed animals. I pray. I read somewhere and it makes sense- We as humans put our health (and many others things) into our hands (or doctors or the World’s) and not into God’s. We worship idols including that of the Organic Purist type thinking it’s going to save us when really, it’s up to God. God is in control not us. My family’s good health is because of God first, not me. When I understood that, I was ok ditching the $12 per gallon of milk and opting for the $2.25 conventional at Walmart. We eat mostly conventional these days. Sometimes it still saddens me, I feel like a failure because I’m not solely organic and natural. But I scratch cook and bake and our children have a varied palate and strong bodies and bones. They are happy, healthy, bright, smart (and formula fed) and a total joy.
Jess
Julia, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said “My family’s good health is because of God first, not me.” It’s so easy to see our family’s health as our personal success and I’ve been there too. Like “my kid doesn’t get sick as much as your kid” and trying to take control of our family’s health without remembering who holds us in his hands. I’m so guilty of that! I’m also really into healthy food but also being frugal. If someone gives our family some food even if it’s not the healthiest or what I would have chosen, I now try to be thankful and ask God to bless the food and our bodies as we use and not waste what he’s given us (within reason…I have ditched a big bag of rot-your-teeth-out candy on occasion–but the principal of being grateful for what we have especially when we are in need-it’s a great lesson to our children. They need to see that in us… Thanks for your honest comment!
Kay
This article meant so much to me I am literally in tears as I type thank you kindly for this because it comes at time where my husband and I were having a conversation as to we want to but how
Jess
Erin,
this is an old post but I’ve read a few of yours lately and I’m so shocked at the negative comments about your posts when at face-value they seem to be honest and honestly trying to help moms let go of guilt and find freedom on a wide range of issues. I can’t even see where people were able to twist the message that seemed pretty clear to me (this post for example to sum up: It’s really nice to eat organic when possible, but don’t feel guilty if you can’t always provide organic food for your family.
Thanks for your humility in your posts and encouraging mothers! Hope this encourages you!
Erin
I appreciate your kind words, Jess! I think some people on the internet are just angry and frustrated and it’s easy to vent on a random blogger. LOL They forget that we are real people too!
Michaela H
Loved reading this blog. I too am a stay at home mom have been for 5 years and we’ve learned to do our best to get by. We changed our eating habits and try for a cleaner one. My husband had hernia surgery around my due date and was off of work for a little bit. Things got a little scary there. We tried WIC until our 2nd was done breastfeeding then figured we could do it on our own. I eventually learned how to just raid our freezer and make what we had. I’ve made some meals from scratch. I also make my own breads broth and so on. It’s tiring for me but I’m willing to do this to save some money. Just recently my husband was out for a month because of an injury to his bicep and we ended up signing up for food shares and it has tremendously helped us out. I wasn’t sure about getting on it. No we don’t have the ability to eat all organic but I have meal plans that incorporate healthier food. I’ve recently read a book on Psalms 91 and in there they mentioned how God instructs us to bless our food when we pray. Enjoyed reading the book about the umbrella of protection.
Namey
“And, yes, an organic apple costs less than a bag of conventional, hydrogenated-oil-laden potato chips” Um no. Produce costs, calorie-for-calorie, 8 times more than junk food.
Let me say that again: Junk food is EIGHT TIMES cheaper than healthy produce.
That is why the fattest states are also the poorest.
And food subsidies (which make junk food so cheap despite all the extra processing) go to GMO soy, wheat and corn crops, not to fresh produce.
The bad stuff is falsely kept cheap while the good stuff is commercially stratified so a premium can be charged for real food (real food used to be taken for granted as the default, now it’s a luxury. Same with clean air and water. I have been wondering for years whether pollution and capitalism go hand-in-hand on purpose. I don’t wonder anymore; it’s pretty clearly deliberate).
Basic health (clean food, breathable air, potable water…things humans used to take for granted as part of being on earth) is for rich people only.
Amy
I can so relate to your story! And I have other friends who were on WIC and/or TennCare (Tennessee’s Medicare) when our children were small as well. I learned to get over the embarrassment, but nothing in my upbringing prepared me for the level of poverty we experienced early on. I still can’t buy organic as often as I’d like – these days, food at all is so pricey! – but I’ve figured out how to let go of that perfectionism too.