Do you want your home to be a place of rest? Walk through these 5 questions to help you craft your home into a sanctuary where your family can draw peace!
by Katie Bennett, of Embracing a Simpler Life
A sanctuary, by definition, is a place of refuge and safety.
One of my greatest goals as a homemaker is that my home be a sanctuary for my family. I want this to be a place of peace, rest and refuge.
It just seems so… right.
The outside world is often stressful, demanding and harsh. In contrast, a home should be a place of retreat, a place to recharge at the end of long days and weeks. I would suggest that this is a basic need for any family to thrive.
So, is your home a sanctuary?
How exactly does one create this sense of safe haven at home?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself.
1. Are you a pleasant, life-giving person?
Before you say, “But I’m not the problem!” realize that you can only control yourself, not others. So no matter who you live with, start by examining yourself.
As the homemaker, your attitude will go a long way in setting the tone for your home. Don’t underestimate your influence.
So, ask yourself,
- Do you complain, blame or demean those in your household? Or are you positive, upbeat, and gracious?
- Do you put someone (your child perhaps) in an awkward position by speaking negatively about someone else in the family to them (a grandparent, your spouse, their father, etc)? Or are you self-controlled with your words for the best interests of others?
- Do you become angry easily? Or are you a safe person when it comes to hearing the things that are hard-to-hear? (i.e. “Mom, I didn’t mean to, but I broke your favorite vase.”)
Changing your own demeanor and tone will go far in creating a safe place for your spouse and children.
2. Do you have an attitude of appreciation for those who dwell in your home or is it one of constant disappointment?
I have a wonderful husband who loves me and our children and who works hard to provide for our family.
Yet, even so, I have a choice to make.
I can either dwell on all the ways he’s fallen short of my expectations, perhaps to pitch in here or there or set aside such and such time to be with me OR I can release him from this bondage known as “expectation” and choose instead to love, bless, and serve him and appreciate all he does.
The latter, my friend, is what creates sanctuary for this man I love so much. How often I need reminding to do that though!
For more motivation to selflessly serve your husband, click HERE.
3. Are your family’s needs consistently and systematically met?
If you leave your spouse and children wondering whether they’ll have a decent meal tonight or whether there will be clean clothes to wear tomorrow, your home is falling short of what it could be for them.
While I’m not saying they’re fearing starvation, your family is unable to rest in the knowledge that these secondary, yet important, needs will be met. They don’t yet know if they will be scrambling, scrapping and scrounging for food and clothes, and this doubt becomes a barrier to fully feeling at ease.
Believe me, I’m not perfect at this! Especially when it comes to laundry.
But to build a sense of security, there must be systems in place to ensure these needs will be met on a regular basis. However, that doesn’t mean you have to do it all!
Routines, systems and roles will create this essential sense of trust within the home.
Note from Erin:
The author of this post, Katie Bennett, is also the author of a fantastic devotional for moms–Heavenly-Minded Mom: A 90-Day Journey to Embracing What Matters Most. Check out her devotional here.
4. Is your home reasonably organized and clean?
Without order, a home will feel chaotic, not peaceful. It’s difficult to relax or find tranquility amongst gunky trashcans, gritty floors, dirt-covered surfaces and piles of unsorted mail, dirty clothes and old dishes.
There’s no space to breath easily when dust hangs in stale air. There’s no freedom to focus when unsightly clutter fills every nook and cranny.
In contrast, a clean, orderly home (not a perfect one, but reasonably so) provides a space to de-stress and disentangle from the world.
While this requires discipline, it does matter for the person who wants a sanctuary at home. Don’t let laziness win over! Resolve to do the best you can in your current life circumstance.
If this is a struggle for you, check out these 6 Ways to Be More Productive Around the Home. Or The Philosophy of a Clean Home: One Simple Mindset to Refresh Your Home-Cleaning Process.
5. Is God, the source of deep meaning, unconditional love and real peace, a priority in your home?
From my experience and perspective, there is nothing more important in creating a settled, peace-filled home than the presence of a holy, loving, awe-inspiring God. When I ask Him to be a part of our home and home-life, He does it.
He is available, present and more life-giving then everything else combined.
How will you work to create a sense of sanctuary in your home this week? In which of these areas do you most need to grow?
Hi! I’m Katie. I’m a stay-at-home mom of four, and I live a life devoted to Jesus. I love to write, and I focus my energy on living simply and well. You may enjoy my devotional, Heavenly-Minded Mom: A 90-Day Journey to Embrace What Matters Most. I’m fairly new to the blogging world, recently launching a blog called Embracing a Simpler Life where I write about eternal perspective, being a wife and mama for the glory of God, and simple, intentional living. Come check it out!