Choose joy instead of jealousy in your marriage and your role as a mother. This post is about being jealous of your husband—and how you can overcome it!
Guest post by Kristen of Smithspirations
I feel incredibly blessed to be a stay-at-home homeschooling mom. There is truly nothing else I would want to do with my days while our children are under our roof. I realize that these years are fleeting and that I need to cherish them before they pass me by.
And I do. I really, honestly do cherish these days caring for my children at home. They are precious.
But you know what? There are times when I get a little weary, a little worn out, and a little jealous.
Jealous? Yes, jealous.
I don’t feel envy towards my working mom friends, and I don’t look at friends who are passed the baby stage and wish to be there. Sometimes I struggle being jealous of my husband while I’m in the midst of rearing young children.
Why Would I Be Jealous of My Husband?
I don’t think I’m the only mom who has dealt with this. For me, I find I’m most prone to falling into this jealousy trap when I’m sleep-deprived, a little frazzled, or terribly behind in my home business. I look at him and his apparent freedom, and I crave it.
The freedom to go exercise after work.
The freedom to take a shower.
The freedom to run an errand.
The freedom to leave the house regularly.
The freedom to get up early and enjoy the quiet time alone.
The freedom to have privacy.
The freedom to enjoy silence.
Sometimes, in my weaker moments, and perhaps for only a few minutes, I take my eyes off of these precious fleeting years with young children and focus on the sacrifices it takes to raise them.
Then, I rob myself.
Jealousy: Grand Theft Joy
My mental attitude towards the sacrifices of motherhood can really make or break our home’s atmosphere. Raising children is a tremendous responsibility, and sometimes I fail miserably.
But I have had to come to realize that I have a choice when the path of motherhood starts to get a little rocky. I can let my mind wander and compare my lot with my husband’s and then let jealousy creep in, or I can focus on what God has called me to do and pray that He helps me to do it better.
When I choose jealousy, I lose joy.
When I choose to refocus, I gain perspective.
Keeping the Right Perspective
Even when motherhood is hard, I have to choose to remember the amazing gift I have been given to be able to stay at home with my children. It may be true that my husband may enjoy a little more freedom while we have very young children, but I enjoy so many benefits because I get to be at home with them.
Usually, I’m the one
- who gets the first smiles
- who sees the first crawls and steps
- who hears the first words
- who enjoys the first songs
- who is the source of their food, comfort, and security for the first year.
When I put jealousy out of my heart, then I can remember that my husband is also making sacrifices so that I can have the privilege of being home with my children. I can let gratitude and joy reign in my heart and overflow to my family, and my home only benefits.
Fellow mommas, I know it can be a challenge at times when you just want to take an uninterrupted shower or exercise for a whopping 20 minutes. And it is totally okay (and arguably needful) to work with your family to make those things happen.
But when they don’t happen, and when it feels like you’re sacrificing more than your husband is (because those times are inevitable), choose perspective over jealousy. And I’ll try to do the same.
Do you ever find yourself jealous of your husband or someone else while raising young children?
Kristen Smith is a Christian, wife to her best friend and high school sweetheart, and mother to a growing brood of sweet little people. She and her family enjoy rural life in northeast Ohio. Her days are spent keeping the home, homeschooling, making real food, gardening, blogging, studying herbalism, working from home as a Lilla Rose consultant, and doing what she can to live a more natural and God-honoring life. Connect with her on her blog, Smithspirations, where she writes on topics relating to faith, family, and natural living. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, and Google+.