If you’ve ever been discouraged with potty training, you have to check out child-led potty training. This is a stress-free, laid-back approach to toilet learning! Hang in there, Mama. There is a light at the end of the potty training tunnel!
It’s been often said that your child won’t go to kindergarten in diapers, and, for most of us, that is true.
But when you’re knee-deep in pee, poop, and tears, and your child will still not use the potty, it’s easy to think they will never learn how to use the toilet.
Like I said in yesterday’s letter to the mom discouraged with potty training, it took me two entire years to potty train my firstborn.
So when my second child came along, I went back to the drawing board. Clearly, none of the methods I tried with my firstborn had worked, so I decided that this time around I wouldn’t push potty training at all.
Yes, you read that right: I would let her train herself.
It occurred to me one day that I believe strongly in baby-led weaning from the breast. Why would it be any different with potty training? Why would I want to push my girls into doing something before they were ready for it?
Although she was not quite as late of a trainer as my firstborn (who ended up training at 4 years and 2 months), my second child learned to use the potty at older than the norm–3 years and 4 months–but she did it herself.
She woke up one day and started using the potty. For about a week she worked on it, and I encouraged her. She had several accidents, but at the end of that week, she was potty trained.
My 3rd daughter just did the same–at 2 years and 9 months. Her training came overnight. She woke up one morning and said she was ready.
This is not considered anything extraordinary. Plenty of children are potty trained at a much younger age.
But guess what? She did it all by herself as well, and it equated to a stress-free, laid-back toilet learning experience for the entire family.
When I wrote about our potty training yesterday, a lot of moms (especially on Facebook) commented that they feel embarrassed when their children have trained later than age 2 when so many other moms are training their children at a younger age.
My thoughts? Who cares what the mom down the street is doing! Each child and each mother are unique, and I believe different training methods work better for different personalties.
The laid-back approach has been best for our family.
Where I went wrong with potty training our firstborn
Although she did have undiagnosed food sensitivities that I do believe played some part in her delayed potty training, one major mistake we made with potty training our firstborn was that we simply started too early.
As soon as she turned two, we started pushing the potty. It seemed to be what everyone else was doing, so why wouldn’t we do it as well?
But there was one big roadblock: She was not ready.
And her personality does not do well with pushing.
The more we tried to force her to potty train, the more she resisted.
Tips for Child-Led Potty Training
Yes, our second and third children did potty train themselves, but there are certain things we did to set them up for success.
1. Talk about going potty–a LOT.
While we never put any pressure on our second or third children to use the potty, we made it a part of our everyday conversations.
Starting at around age 2 1/2, each time I changed their diapers, I would say things like: “You know you can go potty one day!” or “You can go pee and poop in a potty like your sisters whenever you want!” or “You can put your poop in the potty and it won’t feel so messy.”
I always said these things in an encouraging tone, and when the girls would say: “No! I don’t want to go potty!” (which they would say sometimes!), I just laughed and said: “Ok! You don’t have to! It’s OK. You can stay in diapers for as long as you like.”
2. Let them see you and their older siblings go potty.
I don’t know about your kids, but mine love to follow me into the bathroom. Hopefully, the day will come when I can get some bathroom privacy again, but, for now, watching me use the toilet has helped my girls learn that sitting on the potty is a normal part of life.
When I sat on the toilet or when they saw their big sister sit on it, I would also initiate light conversation, saying things like: “You will go on the potty like Mommy and Big Sister one day! One day you will get to wear big girl panties, too! You get to decide when!”
3. Wait. Yes, wait.
There is no rushing with child-led potty training. You must exercise patience.
The whole point is that your child will train when he or she is ready–not when Mommy is ready.
It might be hard to keep buying diapers when your friends’ kids are in panties, but I guarantee that you will eliminate so much stress and experience fewer messes if you can just wait until your child is ready enough to initiate the potty training process.
(And if you want to eliminate the expense of diapers altogether, try cloth diapers! They really aren’t that scary!)
4. Ask your child if he or she wants to use the potty. But don’t push.
5. Encourage them.
When I had such a hard time potty training my firstborn, several people suggested I spank her. I could never bring myself to do that. In fact, I do not believe in disciplining in this way for potty training.
Instead of giving my girls negative feedback when they’ve had accidents, I made no big deal of the accidents and, instead, showered them with “It’s OK! We will try again! Let’s go find some new panties!” encouragement and praise for when they made it through a day dry.
What about potty training tools? Don’t waste your money!
I don’t even want to know how much money we spend on potty training tools with our firstborn: We bought two potty seats–one for upstairs and one for downstairs. We then ended up buying the potty seat attachments that go on top of the adult toilet.
We bought a travel potty. We bought stickers. We bought a sticker chart.
Although we did keep these things around for our second child, I realized that we really didn’t need them.
I am now convinced that if your child is truly ready to use the potty, these extras just aren’t necessary!
So I got rid of them when our third was still a baby.
When she was ready to train, she hopped up on the regular toilet and did it. There was no emptying poop from a child’s potty chair into the regular toilet.
It was absolutely mess-free. (And I spent hours and hours scrubbing accidents from the carpet my first go-around!)
The only potty training tools we kept around were some storybooks that we would start reading every once in a while once our girls turned two.
We actually kept these books in the bathroom, so I could read them to the girls while I was using the toilet.
Now, they can “read” them to themselves! The only three books we have used and love are:
A Potty for Me!
I think I have this one memorized. We’ve used it with all three girls. The child in the story actually has an accident, but the mom makes no big deal out of it! Three cheers for child-led potty training!
Potty Fairy Princess: Now I Can Wear Pretty Panties!
My mom bought this one for our 3rd on her second birthday. The panties the princess is wearing feel like real panties, so that makes it extra fun for little girls who are learning.
This is another one we have used with all three girls. You can actually move the potty seat around from page to page, and the storyline asks the question of “what is a potty for?” It’s a really cute read.
I hope that these tips will help you see a light at the end of the potty training tunnel and encourage you to give child-led potty training a try!
Have you ever tried child-led potty training? What are your tips for stress-free, laid-back toilet learning?
Don’t miss these other encouraging posts for the potty training mama:
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Your oldest sounds exactly like mine! And I made the exact mistakes you did. Are we related? With our second, a boy, I waited until he was 3 to even try. I had always heard it was harder to potty-train a boy than a girl. Like you, with our first it took forever! With our second it took one morning. Now I’m getting impatient with our 3rd, she just turned 3 and talks about potty training, but doesn’t do anything about it. Thanks for the encouragement to be patient! This one just might be the first one to got Kindergarten in diapers. 🙂 But however long it takes, it’s ok.
I bet he will do it before–maybe any time now! I sure hope so!
Boys. Im telling u. Im from a family of all girls through 3 generations, until we had kids. The girls, girls are having boys. Lol we are lost. Everyone with a girl says eazy peasy.. Me and my cousins and my sister too, we all decided at like age one that we hate diapers, had one nighttime accident and same story for all of us. They say “she was so hard on herself about it, i didnt make it worse and it never happened again.”. My memory is ridiculously good and i remember it, actually. Now, my husband remembers having accidents at 13 and at sleep overs with other boys doing the same because he was too lazy. I still catch him at 45 years old running and holding his pee pee sometimes. Lol.. Meanwhile his nephew is 11 and was in trouble for peeing himself when playing fortnight and his mom complains about his bad butt wiping and still needs to check. Of course my son came out holding his head up to give dirty looks and rebel. Kid cried for colic a few weeks and never again. After 3 years accepted, he has a will and wont ever take anyone telling him what to do, so my husband and i decided potty training aint happening with him so we have to let him guide his own way but he is 3 an half and wont do it. “i got no pee” he says or “i peed today already” so today i stepped in. He cant have food until he tries to pee from now on. I told him if he is nervous that he does everything great so he will do this great and here we go. I think this self training is the best way…. For girls and if the kids full genetic line isn’t packed with a fiercely stubborn will. If it is the case… Stop counting the hairs u lost and give ultimatums. That’s the only thing i can think of because i always knew 2 things my kid wasnt gonnna be… The one throwing fits in public or the one who is way too old in diapers.We all are always shocked how he is wonderful outside but the still in diapers kid, that is coming close
I’ve really been struggling with when to potty train my twins (girls, 2 yr. 3 mo.). We started at 21 months but had to stop a day in when we noticed they were coming down with an illness (unrelated to the potty training–RSV 🙁 ). That one day was completely stressful to me. I wanted so badly to be laid back and let things go as they would, but I had panic attacks and cried nonstop. I had read John Rosemond’s potty training book, and I agreed wholeheartedly that the parent is to be the one in charge, not the child, hence starting before age 2. His reasons were sound and solid. Yet, when rubber met the road, I couldn’t handle it. Perhaps my recent miscarriage had something to do with my emotional response (the feeling of losing *all* my babies, to failed pregnancy and to growing up). Even so, my husband wants to get on with the potty training in the next two weeks, and I’m not sure I can handle it. I convinced him to wait until after we moved into our new house–not sure if I can hold him off longer.
I want so badly to be successful at potty training. But I don’t want to deal with it either. I feel too weak.
I don’t think you’re weak. It is a very intimidating process. When I was preparing for training my first I was so stressed. I couldn’t sleep and I was constantly feeling uneasy about when and where and why and all of the other emotions that go along with second guessing yourself with everything you do. I used a modified three day method 🙂 but only when I knew that my boys were ready. I had to lovingly push back against both my husband and in-laws and defend my decision but in the end my oldest was trained in a week and I didn’t get any comments about when I should train my second one. They understood that it would be done but when he was ready, not everyone else. God gave me a lot of grace and patience in dealing with the “You should do such and such” from everyone else. Trust your gut because you really do know what’s best for your children, even if it means pushing back a little. More than anything, trust in God to show you the right time, He will let you know.
Hi Amy–I’m so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. It sounds like you are going through a really rough time. I would personally hold off a bit. My youngest just trained herself completely at 2 years and 9 months. It might be later than some, but we were so proud of her and it was completely stress-free. Hang in there, Mama!
Praying for you! I recently miscarried and it is a time of adjustment and change. I believe parents should lead their children. My oldest potty trained at 4 yr. The previous year I would try potty training every few months and put it away. My second is 15 months younger and wanted to potty train at the same time. I said he could potty train at age 3. Well he turned 3 when our youngest was 3 weeks. Let’s wait did not satisfy him and he trained himself! My third child is now 2 yr 2 months. This time around I decided to have him at diaper changing time to sit on the potty. He loves it – no pee-pee potty yet but he has fun and has started to tell me when he needs a diaper change. I also give treats for staying dry when they first train.
Here is a great article by a urologist. Might take some pressure off:
At what point in this process did you remove diapers. Work and dont get a lot of time off. My son has been going on the potty on and off when he asks but now were seriously about talking about it more and asking often if he needs to go more often . Just dont want to remove diapers too soon or too late. Hes 2.
I have two boys, 3 1/2 and 5 1/2. My husband and I went around and around about when to potty train our first born. He wanted me to do it when he was around 3 but I knew he just wasn’t ready. Several of our friends have kids around the same age and started potty training between 2 and 3 so it also put added pressure on us. I like to honor my husband and stand by his decisions but there are some things that I will push back on when I know it is what is right for our family. My oldest potty trained in a week when he was 3 years 11 months. He has used a potty seat since then and I’ve had to carry around a little travel potty to use because he was intimidated by a larger toilet seat (lots of tears if I tried to make him use a regular seat). It has been a struggle because I have been (sort of) made fun of for carrying around the potty seat but I knew with a little bit of patience he would eventually grow out of it. He is now 5 1/2 and no more potty seat and no more travel potty. My 3 1/2 year old just got done potty training. He was like his older brother and trained in a week and has followed his big brother and just went straight to a regular potty seat. God has given me a lot of strength and grace to just smile while people were telling me to just make him go but I know my child and I knew if I pushed him then he would push back and I was just thankful he wasn’t in diapers anymore :-).
Thanks for sharing your story! My husband was also in favor of earlier training with our first, but after that experience, we were both fine with sitting back and waiting! LOL
I had a hard time with my oldest too. Nothing motivated her at all and I ended up giving up altogether till I knew she could do it. Then I just put her in cloth training pants and she trained herself (more or less) in about 3 days. She may have had 2 accidents but that was it. She was almost 3. My 2 year old shows some interest in the potty and goes by herself sometimes but I really don’t push it. I am 32 weeks pregnant with #4 so if she’s not trained by the time he comes, I will have 3 in diapers. Knowing this might happen, I have invested in enough cloth diapers to diaper 1 full time or 2 part time. We currently cloth diaper the 2 year old part time but the 1 year old gets bad rashes so she is in disposables only. My point is that I tell everyone that I am a lazy potty trainer…lol I like “child led potty training” much better. Thanks for giving me a term for it! 😉
Ha! You’re welcome, Abby! 😉 I actually had 3 in diapers for a very short window as well. My oldest trained shortly after my youngest was born! Congrats on #4!
My son was 28 months. I had heard that if you don’t do it by three it’ll be ten times as hard LOL the things moms hear, right?? Anyway, he was always telling me the moment he pooped and he hated being dirty. So I figured he was ready. We had him run around naked and he pooped on the potty the first day and whew, that was it. He still needs a pullup at night but he sleeps like the dead. So we’ll work on that. My daughter is now 29 months and shows some signs of wanting panties and stuff and does tell me when she poops but doesn’t want to sit. I had thought I’d train her the same way as my son this summer but now I’m not so sure.
You can always try it and if she pushes back, you can drop it and try again later? Is she strong-willed at all? That was a major issue the first time around! LOL
Thank you for writing this! I needed to hear it. My three year old is not a risk taker and she’s afraid of change and the unknown. She does not want to use the potty, so I’m not pushing. I do talk to her about it, and I’ll step it up and try to continue to encourage her, but I’ll be aware of the feedback I’m getting from her. I know it will happen in time, and I’ll try to not let those “outside voices” get to me.
I’m so glad it encouraged you!
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life
Yes! After starting my firstborn son too early (at about 22 months) and going through several months of accidents and cleaning up his potty seat, I knew I wanted to do things differently with my second son. Like you, we just let him know the option was there for him when he was ready. He trained SO much easier with much fewer accidents. We also ditched the potty chair (so gross) and bought a smaller seat for the toilet to use at the beginning. I still have one more to train, but we will definitely be following the same routine with her too.
Still working on the accidents with kiddo #1 (boy) at almost 4 years old (in 2 days). Started in September or October… cannot remember which. Had lots of pushing from my mother (she was absolutely convinced he was ready and that I was just being too lazy or something… funny how that opinion was formed from 2400 miles away… but any who lol). Went cold turkey from diapers… and he’s done really well with going on the potty chair and then transitioning to the toilet (he loves standing to pee… and peeing outside… had to teach him to go at a park in our neighborhood that doesn’t have any toilet facilities), and he usually does pretty well. It has been really stressful, because when it came to accidents and when they would happen (sometimes appeared to be out of defiance or something), some talk led us to discipline… and we did that for a time, then I was convicted about that and the stress and the negativity as a result. Hubby and I have had SO MANY talks about this… and our “methods” and attitudes, and approaches seem to constantly change, because we just so desperately want the amount of accidents to stop. I think it’s a first child thing… there have been so many things that with our son we have listened whole-heartedly to those around us for what we should do in various situations… and a lot of times, we end up regretting those things.
This two-post topic has been very timely as I had been thinking of starting potty-training with our second (she turned 2 in Feb) this summer once things would be maybe a little “easier” with having our 3rd born this last November. She likes to talk about going potty and going poop, but at this point, more interested in just washing her hands lol. She’ll sit on the potty for about 0.1 second 😉 Wanting to be much more relaxed with her, and well, let’s just say I’ll have to be extra resolute and tough-skinned when it comes to my mother… especially with a visit from my parents next month… could be interesting. Going to just wait till she wants to do it, and encourage any interest she shows, but not going to push her. And going to try to relax and be less on the punitive side for our son… maybe he’ll blossom further with this area (and maybe others too… he’s pretty strong-willed) if he’s just kinda left alone especially if the pants get wet.
Sorry for the novel… with probably not a whole lot said. This has really been a big thing around our house for the last number of months… and I’m so thankful for this post and your honesty and encouragement to do what is best for our family and children, as opposed to listening to whatever everyone else has to say about us and our children.
I have always thought the only person being potty trained before a child is ready is the parent. If the child had not learned to listen to their body..then all you have is a child with a routine and there will be plenty of “accidents” that are really just signs of the child learning their body. Much like every other atag of life…this too is a development that happens at different ages for every child. No two children are the same so no two will develop at same rate. My youngest is 3 and is still in pull ups. She is very affraid of abandonment and actually says she likes mommy changing her diaper. My son now 13 trained at age 2…out side in the backyard..i know gross, but it worked! Middle girl now 5 was trained at around 2 until baby 3 came along…then she wanted attention and headed back to pull ups for almost 2 years. Props to you for your site and articles!!!! I love them all so far!
My son (our one and only) is 2 years 8 months. He’s always been a stubborn independent guy and later in milestones than other kids. I figured he wouldn’t train until well after 3.
But we did start at 2 to introduce the small potty (my husband has ulcerative colitis and we have one toilet so this is a necessity for us). We just had it in the bathroom and occasionally asked if he wanted to use it. Gradually we introduced training underwear and he peed in them a lot, but we left the underwear/diaper choice to him.
Then all of a sudden, he was going potty on his own. Then asking to wear undies to nap and bed. And staying dry! Like instantly. We’ve out him in diapers/pull-ups when we leave the house and he still asks to go potty.
We’re still working on number 2, but I know he’ll get there too in his own time.
A friend shared your article with me on Facebook after writing about some potty training frustrations with our 3.5 year old preemie girl. I haven’t really pushed at all til summer started and I had hoped that we could check this off the list before fall and cold weather rolled around. She’s just not ready yet and I’m ready to adopt your method and let it be in her timing and not mine. Something else I can’t control. 🙂 Gotta let it go! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Any tips, my boy has just turned 4, he will use the potty/toilet all day long when he has nothing on his bottom half, but as soon as he has pants and trousers on he always has accidents. I ask him every 5 min do you need the toilet/potty and remind him to tell me when he needs the loo, but he still has accidents. i’ve tried the pull ups but he regards them as nappies and just goes. I went through 4 pairs of trousers and pants within and hour. Take the clothes off and not a prob, no accidents at all. Any others have or had this prob??
My kids do this all the time while potty training! (6 children so far) I suppose it depends on where you live, but when we were out in the country with no neighbors, I would let the trainee run around without pants outside all day long, for the entire summer. By the time summer was over the child would be trained, and wouldn’t go in his pants.
Leah @ The Frugal South
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with child-led potty learning! Reading your article gave me immediate relief from my concern that I might be doing my 2 year six month old daughter a disservice by not “potty training” her and trusting that she will let me know when she is ready to use the potty. She clearly knows all about the potty and what it is for and is just not ready to start using it on a regular basis. The comments from other parents and caregivers helped a lot as well.
My aunt had suggested I wait til my children were 3 before I started to potty train because they would have better communication skills by then and she said it would take me about a week. Keeping that in mind, when my son was 1 Almost 2 I found out I was having twins. I also read that if you potty train before the birth of a new baby sometimes a child will regress after the new baby arrives. So I didn’t even touch the whole potty training thing except when he asked a few times to try (unsuccessfully). He was 2 and a half when the twins were born and that meant 3 in diapers but I think I was too tired to be overwhelmed with it. When the twins were about two months old he walked up to me and said mommy I’ve got to go potty. That was it, no accidents (except nights… He didn’t out grow that until about 1st grade). So I was going to wait til three with the twins but the too at a little over 2 and a half decided they wanted to wear big boy underwear. I told them they could wear them but they’d have to use the potty and they did! Only one accident each the first week. I thought I was abnormal, it’s nice to know other moms did it similarly. I don’t think most people believe me when I share my story.
I have never had children. But my mom had five. I asked Mom, who was a full-time Mom, how she potty trained us. Here is what she said: “I always fed you at the same time of the day and I knew about how long it took from the time you ate to when you would potty. As soon as you could sit up on your own I would feed you, wait a little while until I knew you probably had to go, then I would take you in and sit you on a little potty chair, and I would sit and read with you until you went. ” She started this as soon as we could sit up by ourselves. So we learned the habit before we had time to get an opinion about it. I just like to pass this on to people just in case somebody can use this idea.
this is exactly what we did with our son.
honestly, i felt as if it were out of laziness. i felt that i could have done elimination communication if i werent so “lazy” and just didnt really care. he trained late, but he did it “overnight” and never looked back. instead of years of wetting the bed like some kids, we just had pull ups at night for a while until he was ready. sometimes he would wake up crying and that meant he had to go so we would take him and he would go back to sleep. im not even sure he was really awake during those times, but it seemed to work.
with our 2 year old daughter we are employing the same thing. shes a little more interested, maybe because shes a girl, and maybe because shes got an older brother, but honestly, shes ok. its even better in cloth because theres no pressure to stop having to spend money on diapers. we still use sposies in a bind, or times when we dont want to have to worry about leaks, but when its cloth, she really is more aware of being wet and doesnt like it as much. maybe thats another part of the difference.
but really, i just dont have the time to be taking her to the potty 15 times an hour because i think she has to go. she will tell me sometimes when she has to, and sometimes we take her right when she wakes up in the morning or from naps because those are great times. but as far as training her? i think she will have much more success if the skill is learned by her, and controlled by her. it worked well for my son. 🙂
Yes to all of the above! I got so frustrated trying to potty train my first. Eventually I gave up and listened to the advice I had gotten from several more seasoned moms to let her do it in her own time. One day she came downstairs and announced that she was ready to wear panties and never looked back. I do think all the practicing and trying we did leading up to that helped her be ready, but until they are ready themselves it is just an exercise in frustration for parents and kids! With our next we were much more laid back and just encouraged potty use and offered to help her starting at about age two, and everyone was much happier that time around! My little boy is almost two and starting to show interest in the potty now, it will be interesting to see if it is much different with a boy this time!
I did nearly the same thing as you. I started trying to potty train my oldest before she was ready and it was a total disaster. One day I told my husband that I didn’t care if she went to Kindergarten in diapers, I didn’t want potty to be a traumatic experience for her. Then, like your second two, she just started going one day. She was 2 years 11 months. It only took one week for her to get the hang of it and two weeks after that to stay dry at night. It was awesome. Then with my second daughter, I was also determined not to push her. She’s got a super strong personality and it would never have worked anyway, but she trained herself at 2 years 4 months. Unfortunately with her, she’s got bladder control issues and still has accidents at 4, but that’s a different story. I now have a son who’s 2 1/2 and although he’s fascinated with the potty and likes to sit on it, he has yet to actually go and I’m fine with that.
Thanks for writing this article. I am currently in this situation. My son (our first) was fully potty trained by the time he was 2. My daughter on the other hand, she’s almost 2 & a half & wants nothing to do with the potty. We tried for a few weeks & we were all frustrated. Finally I just decided I would let her lead. She still doesn’t show any interest but instead of tears when I talk about the potty she asks questions. And honestly I don’t care that other moms give me that look when they see my daughter’s diaper peeking out the top of her pants. And I don’t care if the pediatrician strongly urges me to stop doing disperse. I rather enjoy my daughter’s happiness.
I really am fascinated by this approach because I haven’t really heard of it before. I love the concept, and think I’m going to try it with my daughter. She is only 1, so we have a little while still, but I like to really be prepared! I do already talk to her about the potty a lot and point out to her when her diapers are messy, or when she is in the act of filling her diaper. I am careful to not do it in an embarrassing way, but just to acknowledge it so that she can start to recognize it as well. Hopefully that helps her be ready eventually!
Yes, yes, so much yes!!! This has always been my approach to potty training and it hasn’t failed me. So much less stress and drama. Thank you for posting and sharing this. People think I’m crazy for taking this approach. I’m glad to know that I’m not alone.
Hello, I am a mother to a very strong willed 4.5 year old that is completely refusing the toilet. She fights us to put her on there and when does sit on there, she holds it. She cries and whines while on there saying she wants to get off. She comes in with me basically everytime I go to the bathroom so she knows about it. We have the separate toilet for her and the seat that goes on the big toilet, we have tried the sticker and potty chart (just started it but not going as i hoped), we have tried bribery, currently trying the taking of some of her toys and putting in bags. Nothing seems to be helping. I do feel pressure from my husband and mother-in-law to get her potty trained but she just is not interested! We have pullups and she is in diapers because she just pees everywhere if wearing panties (mother in law found that out). I am just so frustrated, will my kid ever get out of diapers? Am I doing something wrong? She has started to tell me she needs changed more so I know she doesn’t like how it feels…tell her that if she went and sat on the potty and went, she’d be done and I wouldn’t have to keep changing her. Mother in law thinks it might be a control thing as in this is the last thing about being a baby that she has to give up but I just don’t know what else I can do. Your article is helpful but we’ve tried a few of those and still nothing happens!
Hi, my daughter is 3.1 but demands she goes to toilet in her pull ups. She has gone without nappies since she was about two. She decided that she didn’t want to wear them during the night anymore and eventually during the daytime too. She has had very few accidents during the night and only once during the day. But a year of pull ups? It seems to be a long time as she CAN control her bladder. She occasionally sits on the toilet but just says not yet. If any attempt to insist, she would be in tears/tantrum Today came the day that we said we had no more nappies for her to use at home (only a few left for going out). She was very upset. I took her to the shower and just let her wee wee there while having a shower. She hated it. She has always wee weed in her pull ups even when she goes swimming. She will tell me and I will take her out of the pool for her to go in her pull ups.
Any suggestions? Shall I continue with the no nappies or just give up and let her use the pull ups again. I just feel it’s mean to withhold pull ups from her but if I give in would this make things worse?
When my daughter was still in diapers we would go to the pool. She loved to swim so we always made a big deal about no p in the ool.She was great. Until one day I realized she was potty trained at the pool yet at home I would put her in diapers. One day the light bulb went on! How could I be so goofy! No more diapers! Amazing!
That is such a funny story, but I can see myself doing the same! That will be a story I bet you share with grandkids one day!
My daughter just turned 4 and has no interest in potty training. I’ve tried bribing her, putting her in panties, etc. Started trying when she was about 2, but I never pushed it too hard. If it wasn’t working, I would let it go for awhile. She is autistic and has sensory processing issues. She still won’t tell me when she’s peed or pooped in her pullup. I talk to her about going to the potty. I thought she would go when she was ready, but I’m starting to wonder if she will ever be trained.
I would probably ask her doctor what she thinks. 🙁 I know it can be so very frustrating. My oldest was 4 when she finally trained. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!!
I am a true believer of BLW, so I figured it should be the same with potty. However, I got the “outside” voices get to me and so I had to try over Xmas break to potty train her. My 2y9m daughter sitting in pee didnt bother her much. But the 2nd day, she held things in for over 6 hours, and seemed to develop a fear to release waste. That cant be healthy. My back was also sore from sitting on the bathroom tiled floor for 2 hours of waiting. Then there were the cries and tantrums of being scared of the potty. I gave up. Went back to original thinking and just let her decide when she is ready for potty time.
So now We talk about it daily. Ask her if she wants to go potty, it’s always no. Every morning, we let her choose underwear or diapers. Diaper. Everyday she says she wants to potty train tomorrow but of course her concept of time is way different than mine! We read fun books about potty and toilets, just to show her its not scary. She likes to flush, so i let her do that after i do my business – make it fun. Daycare doesnt push, but brings eveyone to potty so they could watch and learn from peers, which could be encouraging.
So yeah. 2 months since Xmas. Still waiting. It will come.
Good morning Mamas! Don’t be hard on yourselves. Potty training can be daunting. I’m now a grandma. I’d read once that not only are children afraid of falling into the toilet, but also afraid of ‘their parts’ falling off and getting flushed. I did part-time daycare for a friend’s little girl who was just starting to train. One day, I put her on the toilet backwards! Straddling the bowl, there was no chance of her falling in, and it seems she liked to watch herself go which she couldn’t have done sitting forward. She could flush while she sat and see exactly what was going down. Also easier for her to wipe herself. Her mother loved the technique and training didn’t take long. Give it a try!
Wishing you ease of training your tiny ones and good health in these times!
Potty for children
I’m a toilet for kids potty training