Motherhood & FamilyPotty training is one of those parenting milestones that rarely unfolds the way we expect.
For many families, it’s straightforward. For others, it’s anything but. And for some, it becomes a long, humbling lesson in patience, perseverance, and grace.
There are children who struggle with potty training well beyond the age when “most kids” seem to have it figured out. Accidents happen frequently. Progress comes slowly. And parents quietly begin to wonder what they’re doing wrong.
Often, the journey begins earlier than it should. There may be signs of readiness—but there is also pressure. Pressure to keep up. Pressure to follow a timeline. Pressure to do what everyone else seems to be doing.
At first, there may be progress. Then life shifts—as it inevitably does. A new sibling arrives. Routines change. Regression sets in. What once felt promising suddenly feels like starting over.
Parents try everything they know: reward systems, sticker charts, popular methods, consistency, starting fresh, taking breaks, and trying again. Some children respond quickly. Others do not.
In many cases, there is more happening beneath the surface. Strong-willed, sensitive children often experience potty training differently. Control, anxiety, physical awareness, and emotional development can all intersect in ways that complicate what seems like a simple process.
Sometimes medical or dietary factors play a role. Food sensitivities or underlying physical concerns can contribute to setbacks and frequent accidents. When those factors are identified and addressed, some challenges resolve—while others may still take time.
And time can be the hardest part.
When progress stretches beyond another birthday…
When accidents continue longer than expected…
When comparisons creep in…
It’s easy for parents to internalize shame and assume failure.
But difficulty does not equal failure.
Potty training is not a measure of parenting competence. It is not a reflection of a child’s intelligence, maturity, or worth. It is simply one small—but deeply humbling—chapter in the long work of raising a human being.
This space exists not to offer expertise, but honesty. Not perfection, but shared learning. Parenting is sanctifying work, and some of that sanctification happens in the least glamorous places—through messes, setbacks, and repeated attempts to extend grace.
For parents walking this road, it can feel isolating. It may seem as though everyone else’s children “get it” faster. But there are many families quietly navigating similar struggles.
You are not alone.
Some children take longer. Some journeys look different. And none of this diminishes the love, care, and faithfulness being poured out day after day.
Motherhood—and parenthood as a whole—is humbling work. And even in the most ordinary, messy moments, grace is still enough.
Pioneer Girl
I don’t have any children of my own, but I helped (aka: did all the work) potty train my niece, who I lived with at the time. It was…. interesting. We started too young, for the same reason as you, and ended up packing all the potty items (toilet, panties, chart, everything!) away for a good 6 months or more. When we pulled them back out and tried again, we were working under a time pressure. She was 3 and about to start preschool, but she was required to be potty trained to attend. It was a disaster right up until she went to school. She had less and less pee accidents, BUT she would always hide and poop in her panties. And I mean ALWAYS! Once she started preschool, though, I don’t know, something just clicked and she started going as if she knew how to all along.
Good luck on your potty training journey!! I promise it will be WAY worth it when it’s all said and done!!
Erin
Thanks so much for the encouragement! Our little girl will be in pre-k this fall, so I hope that will help! I bet you will be super prepared once you do have children!
Saira
With my oldest we started around 3, but with selling a house, moving, a hurricane, moving in with my parents (due to the hurricane), and finally moving into our own apartment again, he was just finally trained at 4. I thought I was an awful mother. My second, who turns 4 in a few weeks, isn’t interested in potty training in. the. slightest. bit. He got his long promised brownie for going poopoo on the poty (later realized how horrible that sounds) but he only went because he suddenly had to go while in the bath and was screaming to get out as fast as he could. I quickly put the little seat on the potty and placed him on it. He started to protest but it was too late. I made the biggest deal I could about how big he was and we made a new batch of brownies just for the occasion. Did it help? Absolutely not. So… maybe we’ll have him trained by 5. Hope you have a smoother trasition than we do. The plus side? His brother who is only 14 months younger than he is will probably train at the same time he does 🙂
Erin
Wow! This makes me feel better! We took her to the urologist on Tuesday. She said she basically just isn’t ready…and to not make a big deal about it but to put her on a strict, every-2-hr schedule! Hope both of ours potty train–for good–soon!! 🙂
Emily
Thanks for this post! It was as if I had written it myself! I hope it will just click soon with our child. Thanks for helping me feel like I’m not alone:)
Erin
You’re not alone! Hope it clicks soon!