Do you feel like you’re failing as a mom because your child is constantly sick? Give yourself some grace; it may not be your fault.
This post is part of the Dear Mom Letters series.
Dear Mom Whose Child is Constantly Sick,
Last night was tough. My newly-turned 3 year old has a tummy bug. Not only did I have to change her diaper four times during the night, but we also went through three pairs of pajamas.
I knew her heavy breathing in my face and chubby arms wrapped around my torso meant I was being fully exposed to whatever it was that ailed her.
But I let her cling to me anyway.
I am her Mama. To push her away would crush her.
And so, today, we stayed home from church, and I scrubbed the vomit from what had been freshly-cleaned carpets, and I gave her two warm salt baths, and I rubbed peppermint oil on her belly and thieves oil on her feet, and I wiped her clean time and time again.
I made up some homemade disinfectant spray like a “good natural mama,” and I doused the house so much that I’ve already run through the 4 oz. bottle.
When my girl awoke from her nap crying because she had gotten sick on her sheets, I knelt down to her eye level and said: “It’s OK, baby. Mommy loves you. Mommy will always clean you up.”
I resolved to be there for her–and to not feel guilty that she’s sick.
It wasn’t always this way.
When she was a baby, I beat myself up every time.
Dear Mom Whose Child is Constantly Sick,
It’s not your fault.
You see my little one? She didn’t get sick at all last year. At all.
But the two years before? She stayed sick.
By the time she turned 1, she had battled RSV, bronchiolitis, croup and pneumonia. We had to rent the breathing machine so many times that the doctor’s office finally recommended we buy one.
She had several ear infections, and when the fluid wouldn’t clear, even the chiropractor recommended she have tubes put in. It ended up being glue ear.
Speaking of the chiropractor, she became like a counselor to me as we saw her at least once every week and sometimes twice, and I confided to her that I must be battling postpartum depression because I just couldn’t seem to get myself together.
My firstborn was never sick. And, yet, it seemed every night with my second was sleepless, as I held the breathing machine and listened to her cough and felt her wheeze. I knew I must be doing something wrong.
When we finally discovered her food allergies and removed those from her diet, she got well.
This weekend’s stomach bug episode had me on edge. I still can’t shake the memories of her constantly being sick her first two years.
Dear Mom Whose Child is Constantly Sick,
I know that sometimes it’s easy to think that those whose children are healthy are judging you. I know that because I’ve lived that.
Maybe some do; maybe some don’t. Maybe sometimes we are just so self-conscious and self-condemning that we project that onto ourselves.
But moms in general: we have a tendency to put other moms down to try to make ourselves feel better.
It’s the “mean girls” from high school all over again. Except now, we’re “mean moms.”
I’ve heard it time and time again: “My child has never been sick. It’s because:
…I don’t vaccinate.
…I do vaccinate.
…I only use essential oils.
…I only use herbal remedies.
…I’ve never given my child even one dose of Tylenol.
…I only feed my child a 100% organic diet.”
Do you know what this is? Pride. Plain and simple. It’s pride, pride, pride.
And what’s the common denominator in the above sentences? I.
But God…God gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6)
When my child seemed to constantly be fighting some kind of sickness her first two years of life, I beat myself up. I wondered what I was doing wrong.
And then, my third child arrived, and she did not get sick at all her entire first year. In fact, not one single one of us got sick at all from October 2012 through October 2013.
So I started patting myself on the back. Surely, surely, I was now doing something right. My.kids.were.well!! Hallelujah. Praise Erin. {insert pride and false sense of security}
And then last night happened.
God opposes the proud…but gives grace to the humble.
Ladies, we’ve had some of you participate in some heated debates on Facebook (especially after this post). I don’t want this community to be one where we exalt ourselves and put other mamas down.
We can do certain things to help prevent sickness, but, ultimately, we cannot control whether or not our children become ill.
It’s a blessing if your kids are healthy, but we should seek to encourage others–not make them feel bad if their children are sick.
Let’s learn about natural living together…but let’s do so with humility.
There’s too much guilt for moms today. Let’s not let that guilt seep into the health of our children and whether or not we are being “natural” enough.
Let’s let this community be a place of grace-filled, natural living.
I enjoy using this blog to talk about natural remedies and preventive care and figuring out food allergies and a whole slew of natural living topics.
But I always want my posts to be seasoned with grace.
Because, dear mama whose child is constantly sick,
It’s not your fault. And if I or any other mama has made you feel that way because of our prideful bragging at our children’s health, then I am sorry. I truly am.
Go in grace, Mama. Go in grace.
Have any of your children been constantly sick? What is your advice for a mom whose child is constantly sick?
For the follow up to this post, read Are Food Allergies Making Your Child Constantly Sick?
Doreen Payne
my daughter has been sick since early July. people have been judging me cause she has missed so much work, etc. her bowel is not working properly
Mary
My 6 year old daughter went into Acute Renal Failure this past July 2016. Her doctors were never able to determine what happened. We spent 2 weeks in PICU. She recovered and tried to start school in August. She was still weak and anxiety ridden and ashamed because she thought she was “different”. In November 2016 she was hospitalized again when she developed a severe stomach virus her oxygen level was very low but kidney functions were normal. I know people don’t know what to say it’s hard. I struggle every day with her. Because we don’t know what happened we are always on alert with her health. We have tried to make her life as normal as possible but I can tell you this. She is not the same child she was before she was so sick and it breaks my heart. My husband is unable to offer the emotional support I need. I am often overcome with fear and anxiety. I keep most of my feelings to myself so I am so glad I found this article. Parental guilt is the worst we need to give each other a break.
Margarita
Sending love and prayer your way! Stay strong, you are a wonderful mom because you care! God bless your family, soon all will be better. Keep loving and caring for them that’s all we can do, others may judge and hate but only we know better and that’s all that should matter. Guilt has no power over you when you know you’ve done your best!
Minah
Mary – I know it has been 3+ years since your post and my heart goes out to you. I am praying for your strength and for your daughter. Your daughter is blessed to have a mom who supports and love her to way you do!
Jean G.
Tonight i’m feeling weak and beaten myself emotionally because my 2nd child is constantly sick every month.. I have 2 kids both boys, my first born is active but he is very easy to catch viruses since his already on preschool (5yrs old) my 2nd child is (2yrs old) he is very small for his age compare to his older brother, he got primary complex when he was 6 months old, after we discover that i feel that his immune system crashed and got easily catch any sickness. Tonight he still has a fever, infact i judt cleaned him up because he vomit right after he drank his tylenol.. im so fraustrated because the way my inlaw is asking for my childs health it seems like shes blaming me and it makes me feel like im incapable of raising my own child away from them. And when i saw this article it feels like im not alone.. Thank you
Mommy
I understand. One of my in laws acts like I’m to blame when my kids get sick or thinks they get sick too often. She even blames me for my husband getting sick!
Heather
Thank you a million for this post. I am the mamma to three precious girls, one who is 13 with a suppressed immune system from a super early birth, and two three year olds that catch a lot of colds. We treat naturally and herbally, as well as with essential oils, but I have experienced a lot of criticism from friends whose kids are not sick. We just missed church for the third time in five weeks because of illness, and I just dont want to have to explain it again.
Thank you for reminding me of Grace.
I need it this morning.
Blessings to you,
Heather @ The Welcoming House Blog
Mandy
You are so right. I was so proud that my 2 boys were never sick…as if I could have done something superhuman to make that so. Part of that pride came from the grief I got because I couldn’t b/f and I felt a “so there!” moment to those who criticized. Then in May of this year my premature daughter was born with multiple “defects” and challenges. None of which were anything that I could have done to change it. I ate the right things. I took all the right vitamins. I got enough water and rest. But she still wasn’t born “perfect”. (even though she is the most beautiful thing to me!) In that moment and the months that followed I developed a new understanding…a grace for mommy’s. The hardest thing for me was when I saw on a pediatrician’s form that her disability was a lifetime disability. It smacked me in the face…and honestly in that moment…broke my heart…Please mommies of constantly sick kids…hold on to HOPE. You have to be the flagbearer of hope for your child….for as much as it is difficult for you…they need you. They need you as an anchor. Every day His mercies are new….lavish them on your babies!!
Melissa
Last year, my son was sick from September to March with recurrent very high fevers (107 degres at times). He was hospitalized twice with dehydration. I missed so much work a o dd my husband. e was sick te ole month of december andmy husban split the month missing work. I took him to the children’s hospital and saw many specialists. I took him to the pediatrician 20 times. I held him down while he scremed through test after test. To this day, he struggles with severe stranger anxiety and anxiety that we will leave him. He freaks ut every time he sees woman in scrubs. I rememebr feeling so judged. I am a nurse and people judged my abilities, they questioned if we were seeing t right doctors, if we were geting him the help he needed. Even those who hought they were acting in love made me l judged. struggled with depressive feelings because I dobted mysef…as a mother and as a nurse. It would have been such a blessing to recieve some words of encouragement instead of “have done this…this worked for me”. Thanks for posting this!
Barbara
I am crying as I read this. I have a beautiful little 3yr old who is sick all the time! She is sick right now with what started as strep throat and now is just a really bad cold. I am sooo tired of giving her so many meds. Im trying natural ways but nothing works. When she was 3yrs old she had vascular ring (main artery wrapped around her airway) so lots of antibiotics. she recovered from that. Than it was Fevers all the time. she is now on her 3rd set of tubes. she stopped getting sick for just a little while and now she back to being sick alot…..It hurts because I want to help her and cant. it hurts to watch all the kids playing at the pool or outside on the weekends and my kid is always laying down on the sofa not feeling good or in bed. I have even tried to brighton up the bedroon to make it more happy and comfortable because thats where she spends most of her time. Im at a loss….
Barbara
sorry (3 months old with vascular ring)
Amber
hi there Barbara may i suggest you start giving her natural vitamins and giving her PRO biotics! not ANTI botics. and stop giving her them for the reason that it kills all the good bacteria in the gut and makes people sick more. reply if you need anymore help.
June
Telling someone to give a sick child probiotics instead of antibiotics is not only dangerous but it’s also irresponsible. If that child has a severe infection with a fever (like strep throat, which wouldn’t be affected by probiotics in the least) it can become life-threatening without treatment.
Laura
Hi I feel for you mama! My 18 month old is sick so freaking much too. With respiratory infections, ear infections, etc. His ENT knows about his enlarged tonsils but wants him to be bigger before doing something about it. He’s been on antibiotics 7 times since birth mostly for ear infections, but I’m suspecting tonsillitis as well. Each time the antibiotics made him miserable before he became well for about a month and just repeat again. I did give him probiotics and some strains made him even more miserable. Took almost 1 year before they realized his tonsils were huge. He has so many fevers unexplained. Also I’m suspecting it’s headaches keeping him up 2 hours of the night. He is so fussy all the time.I just want to cry with him sometimes because I feel helpless. I feel like I’m failing or not doing something right. just hoping and praying things will get better soon.
Stephanie
I really appreciate this post. It is so true! You are right pride has a lot to do with it, but I also think that for some, they are overzealous. They have learned about the dangers of _______ and they want to share with the whole world. We need to be careful when sharing to share in a way that is informative “Have you looked into ____?” Ultimately we are different and we will make different choices. I believe that as mothers we are all doing our best for our children. I know there was a time I researched everything and wanted to do things completely natural and organic for my children. I would feel guilty for what I couldn’t do and I coveted to be able to do it. One day I realized I was wrong, I was sinning. We are to be thankful and content in our lives. We are not to live above what we are able. Then I thought about those who travel to other lands to help and give the gospel of Christ. They often don’t have the choices (organic, herbs, not to get vaccines) that we have here in the states. Would God have them to not go just so they could make those choices? So maybe in the big picture these choices (luxuries) we have don’t really matter as much as we think they do. I choose to trust God in sickness and in health. To trust in anything else would be idolatry. Thanks again for sharing.
P.S. Just to be clear I am not saying that doing any of the “natural” things we do is wrong. I believe it is more of a matter of the heart attitude that would make it wrong. We should do the best that we can with what we have and trust God to bless it.
Jill's Home Remedies
One of my daughters was sick a lot a few years ago with respiratory problems. She ended up with pneumonia once and asthmatic bronchitis more than once. I was so puzzled as to why I couldn’t figure out how to help her. You’re right, it is humbling when you’re used to healthy children that respond well to home remedies. Thankfully, after several months I did find natural treatments to help her past this, but it did teach me many things.
Melissa
I know this is an old post buy can you tell me what you used to help your child? Thank you
Chonte
I’m even later. But this has been my son’s experience. The doctors keep giving him new anti-biotics. I can’t take it anymore. Please help!
Em
Thank you for this post, it has really opened my eyes. I was and sometimes still am one of those prideful mama’s. Some habits are hard to break. I have two sons that had never really been sick. A few simple viruses (minor colds/sinus) here and there that were easily cured with some rest and liquids. I had given them meds on occasion but in 6 years, neither one had been to a doctor. We homeschool, don’t vax, eat organic, I don’t allow sugar, and we use all natural cleaning. Yes, I was on my high horse on how wonderfully this lifestyle was for us, not realizing that I was bullying a friend of mine who’s child was always sick from birth till age 3 and in daycare from the moment he could be. Constant colds, fevers, ear infections. Tubes came, running to doctor appointments for little sniffles. I just couldn’t comprehend. I sent her all sorts of literature, emails with my own remedies, and talks about how this way had kept my boys healthy. I’m sure now looking back on it, it was pushing her away from this lifestyle I was preaching. Sure, I’d give sympathy to her kid, but never to her, who I inadvertently blamed for her child being sick. I’d tell her to put him on an elimination diet, to at least remove wheat and dairy. To use natural cleaning. To use herbal meds. All without really asking how she was handling it all. I still don’t understand why a mother wouldn’t at least try to want to help her kid by using my suggestions, but it really wasn’t my place after the initial suggestions to keep bombarding her with info she clearly didn’t want and wasn’t asking for.
Then last November-January my family got sick with 3 different viruses. At one point I took the boys to a walk in because they had a bad sounding cough. Luckily, we were all fine and the cough was just that and nothing serious, but we had never been continually sick like that ever. But the doctor was so nice and loved my boys. Thought I was doing a great job homeschooling and feeding them. She told me how impressed she was by them. Of course as soon as I got home and saw an email from my friend checking in on the boys, I immediately responded with, “they will be fine but let me tell you what the doc said about my parenting”. Yea, I see now how not nice that was. That I was committing a sin. Sometimes, we get so caught up in trying to help our way, that it misses the point. I had not been supporting my friend because I didn’t agree with her skills as a parent. I will never understand, but that isn’t the point. Whether or not I believe it’s her fault for feeding her kids crap, for allowing toxins to be brought into her home, for sending her emails upon emails explaining how to naturally help her own ADD/ADHD problems, I never receive more than a, thank you, I’ll take a look at this later. I know she doesn’t. But I’ve given her the tools, it is now up to her to use them. Do I want to ruin our friendship because of parenting and/or health issues? Absolutely not. All I can do is pray for her and support her when she is going through a tough time. I have been so caught up in my own way and wanting to share it with her as if I’m her wellness coach instead of her friend, that I might have destroyed our relationship which is more than just this. We’ve known each other since high school. It would be a real shame to throw that away. Luckily, she knows I’m passionate, even though she doesn’t get it. But after all these years, she isn’t holding it against me.
Thank you for reminding me about Grace. I will from hear on out, tame the prideful beast in me and be a better friend.
Em
Amber
Self righteous woman. Get off your high horse. You are in essence, nothing but a ocd control freak. Visit a psychiatrist and get some medications asap.
S Vee
I agree with you Amber. I finished reading her post and thought to myself that she still doesn’t get it. Even in her “admission of guilt,’ she’s still preaching and talking down upon her friend.
Sm
I know the post from Em was 2 years ago. But my goodness, I am horrified at her post. First off, this article was about NOT judging moms for having sick children and she just went on and on about how “wrong” the woman she continued to bully was in her mind. Oh yes, thank GOD her three boys only had a cough and nothing more. Does that make one Mother of the Year?? No. I am happy to see responses still coming in to express their distaste for that post and honestly don’t know how it even made it to this thread since it goes against the very thing this article stands for.
Nothing but passive-aggressive behavior and I hope that her “friend” no longer is a part of her life.
Just sad.
Erin
Yes, that is so sad.
Vanessa
My son has had a rash for almost two months. We have battled with it for so long. He finally gets to see a specialist this week. It’s a long trip to see this Dr and my family is all upset because I can’t buy Christmas Gifts for the gift exchange! I am so tired of the materialistic behaviors of my family when the health of my child need to and is very much first!!! Thank you for this post!
Sonya Milu
Dear Vanessa,
It is so sad your family is putting such a burden on you, especially with the trials you are encountering to do what is best for your precious child. I am praying for you and that God will move their hearts to see your beautiful motives in caring for your child. God bless you!!!
Cheryl
THANK YOU for this post – it was exactly what I needed today! Today as I am sitting in the Salt Suite for my little ones Croup AGAIN, after 2 months of being sick constantly. After just being at the Dr on Friday with Impetigo. After having Strep Throat 2 weeks ago. After having a nasty cold and cough before that. I was just thinking last night – WHAT AM I DOING WRONG??? How could my kids be so sick so often with our “healthy diet, no sugar, homeopathy” hmmm pride much? (insert big sigh) so thank you for telling me it’s not my fault because I was just telling myself that it was. So thankful God has put you in my path!
Amber Scavo
So many parents have a false sense of control and security that they cling to- the idea that you can directly orchestrate the health and well being if your child. We are called as parents to do the best we know how for the children that have been entrusted to our care. That will look different for every single family. We all have different kids, experiences, knowledge, resources, and convictions. We need to just let it go and stop evaluating others
I was a mom who did everything I thought I could to have a healthy pregnancy and raise my kids- organic, no chemicals in house or yard, no sugar, customized vaccine schedule, etc. At the age of 2 my daughter was diagnosed with aggressive cancer. Guess what? Everything I held tightly to went out the window in a 2 hr period. She would now face 7 surgeries, the loss of major organs, 7 months of chemo poisons, 8 rounds of sedated radiation, countless high-radiation scans, and now permanent side effects. One of the biggest lessons I learned us every day of health is a precious gift of grace that none of us deserve. As I have watched tremendous suffering in my daughter and other children, and have had to endure the funerals of 27 of those precious little ones- I know one thing for sure… We are not in control. Every day we have our children with us is a gift of grace to be cherished. God calls us to hold them with open hands. He loans them to us for a small amount of precious time. Love them. Care for them the best you can. And encourage those moms on the same journey beside you.
kelly
Amber, I am sorry to hear about how much you have gone through with your precious baby girl. (((Hug))))
B
Your post brings tears to my eyes. I am definitely guilty of that exact thing and you said it so well, clinging SO tightly to a false sense of control is spot on what I do. I do beat myself up a lot over not making healthy eating choices and not knowing about natural options back then. I often wonder if something I did/didn’t do caused her GERD, food allergies anxiety issues etc. I can be almost obsessive about what she eats and what type of products we use etc more when she was younger than now. However I have seen her be super healthy during times of not being so dilligent and times where she is constantly sick regardless ofa perfect diet supplements and immune boosting tricks. She was constantly sick all through prek and K then 11st gr was mostly healthy now starting2nd gr with very prolonged sick ess so really bringing back that panic. Thank you for this i was praying tonight feeling so hopeless and heless and then researching looking for answers online but yiur story really cements in my jeart not just my head that i am not in control and to lean on God for answers and comfort.
Lore
Thank you for writing this post. My son is almost 15 months old. And he has been sick a lot in my point of view. What doesn’t make life easier, is my husband and I are living with my mom. And there’s more relatives of mine living along with us. We plan to move out but still not financially stable. My husband works long hours I mean like 5 am to 8 pm. His job is demanding and I get it but I feel like I dont get a break/ a breather. I love my son so much but I just need a few mins to myself. So sometimes my mom offers to watch him 20-30 mins. And this last Thursdays she was congested but she didn’t look sick, so I asked how she was feeling she said she felt ok and stupid slow allowed her to watch my son. So now he is sick. My husband got mad a time because our son is sick AGAIN. I just wish we could have our own place. I just feel so awful because its my fault my son is sick.
Stephanie
Amber, oh my goodness! Thank you so much for sharing this. Your experiences hit this issue right on the nose. WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL! We can make good choices, we can make mistakes. All of us will have moments of both. I hope I never forget what a blessing and honor it is to be mommy to my kids, for the short time I can, because I don’t deserve my kids. No one is deserving of such blessing. That’s what makes it a blessing, the fact that we couldn’t earn our way into parenthood even if we tried. God bless you Amber for being such a strong mama for your baby. Bless you for being an inspiration and a reminder of God’s sovereignty over our lives and our children’s lives.
Kate S
The chances of you reading this are slim but I need to say this anyway: after a horrible sickness this week and years of my first-born being sick after each time we went out in public, I was at the end of my rope. I can’t do it all perfectly like some other mothers can- not every choice is mine to make in our home and honestly- what kind of life is it if my kids can’t eat a piece of fruit or go to a friend’s house bc of the food they eat? Do I really want that life for my kids just in case the mentality of “never eating one bad thing” might be correct? But anyways, since I’m not perfect in how I feed my kids, I do blame myself. Since no one in my family responds well to essential oils- even though I paid for the big brand- and I had to give my poor, suffering babies conventional medicine this past week or have them end up with an infection, I do blame myself. I’ve never heard one “anti-everything” crunchy mom admit her kid gets sick. I broke down crying to my husband last night that if what I could do was so ineffective that I was just going to quit because this alternate point of view is HARD. Thank you for not making me feel like my life and hard work has been pointless.
Erin
Kate,
Thank you for reading. I totally understand where you are coming from. Don’t blame yourself. There are times when we need to reevaluate, but sometimes we can’t to anything to prevent sickness. We live in a fallen world, and people are going to get sick. Sometimes we can make an idol out of healthy living. Keep doing what you are doing. Pray and give it to God. It’s not pointless.
Joetta Witkowski
I am a grandmother now, but when my 5 children were small, I had a young son with severe asthma (he was diagnosed at age two). As the years went on, his asthma became worse. I am also an asthma sufferer, but I had found a physician who had a different approach to treatment, and I significantly improved under his care.
When I suggested some of these methods to my pediatrician, I was told that my physician was a quack, and that if I took my then five-year-old son to him, I need not return. Needless to say, I took him to my physician anyway. Within a month, he was off his breathing machine (I had been getting up every four hours through the night to give him treatments). He still has asthma at 29, but it can be controlled.
So my advice is to seek a physician who will listen to you. They are out there, but sometimes it takes some looking. But that can make all the diffrerence.
Caroline
I have 5 young children, and the first was the only one who was never sick his first year of life (his first illness being at 15 months). After that…my second child was sick all the time starting at 3 months old and is still the one to catch an illness easily (age 7 now). My fifth child is mimicking her immune issues (all from infections, to tummy issues, to skin issues); I’ve simply come to the conclusion that each of our children are different and some will be “heartier” than others. We can do our best to improve their immune system, as well as aid in their recovery, but as you & others have stated, we really can’t control whether or not they get sick or what illness they receive. I even remember my mom trying to expose me to chicken pox as a child, I never caught until I became an adult. Who would’ve thought? Thanks for sharing this!
Michelle
That was beautiful. Thank you.
Abijake
When my kids were younger they were sick all the time. I would feed organic, no sugar ect and watch the other moms spoon feed their kids sugar by the bus load- ok exaggeration- and their kids never seemed to get sick. It would drive me crazy. We have gone three years without a visit to the doctors for antibiotics. So yeah for that. Was it something I did or did my children finally acquire an immune system. Who knows, but I will use the arsenal that I can to combat what comes our way and pray for a quick recovery.
Penelope
Through Gods grace i have been given information that I have been able to researxh and apply to my (on loan feom God) children, changing thier diets which has impacted significantly on thier health. My daughter was asthmatic and required medication for life – she no longer gets asthma unless her diet is compromised. She alsi suffered from eszcma chronic chest infections and vaccinne damage causing severe food allergies which have led to celiacs. My 2nd daughter was constantly sick and was autistic. She is no lonver that way and is thriving normally. My 3rd child is unvaccinated and has had as clean a diet we (God has provided us with) have been blessed enough to feed him – and therefore the immune system that God gave him hasnt been poisoned and compromised. He so far seems to be the healthiest of the lot. We eat the food that God designed our bodies to eat and acknowledge that God gave our bodies an inbuilt cleaning system which can work if we do t get in its way. Its hard to feed everyone sometimes – so much prep, so much money, get stuck for ideas but we thank God for the information and the resources he has given us that has so far made such a huge positive difference in our lives. Wanting to share this information is usually because other children are suffering and mum doesnt want to put her child on lifelong asthma medication or doesnt want to be going back for another lot of antibiotics and so she reaches out and asks for an opinion – i dont see how its prideful if its helping another parent experience the freedom from doctors, hospital emergency rooms and watching thier child suffer or in some cases even prevents lifelong diseases. In my own power i would have sent my children to an early death vaccinating and feeding them the way i used to – which i assure you was a “balanced” homecooked diet recommended by ‘health’ authorities. But when God brought this information on our paths it changed everything so why wouldnt we want to share it and maybe God can use us to help others? I give all glory to God for healing my children amd if they get ill i’ll know ive done my best and its not my fault. Whilst i dont idolise “healthy eating for health” i am certai ly grateful to God beyond words for the changes it has made in our family and i appreciate the people or in my case – person – who told me straight. I would prefer the truth then someones sympathy. God calls us to be brave and courageous and yes there is a way to make recommendations to people without being insulting and it takes a little wisdom to know whem people arent interested in facing the truth but there will always be someone who is open to it and who can be helped. Sometimes it takes more love to say something then not to say something. I pray that God will continue to bless what we and all of you do with our children and will show us what we can do in our everyday mothering that will benefit them too.
Joy
Penelope–yes, making suggestions in love is OK among friends. But I think the problem comes when you are convinced that what works for your kids is the answer for everyone. Some families find that their vaccinated kids are the healthiest in the family. Some kids don’t need special diets to be healthy. And some kids are just sickly by nature, no matter how closely their parents watch what they eat. What works for your kids is just that—what works for YOUR kids. Saying you wish you could open their eyes to the TRUTH is still saying that you’re right and they’re wrong.
Mona
My son ended up finally being diagnosed with an eosinophilia disease. Rare, not my fault. But it still feels that way, sometimes…thanks!
Columba Lisa Smith
I was very careful with diet. We eliminated milk when my kids were small, and that cleared up my son’s constant ear infections. But I was in a state of learned helplessness with my one son, who seemed to fight a constant battle with allergies and health problems. Two years ago, he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. He’s managing it very well, but finds it difficult when people judge because they don’t understand. We did NOTHING to cause it. It’s autoimmune, not triggered by lifestyle (and we were already living healthy). So it’s been a lesson for him in not being judgmental himself. God has been faithful. End of ramble, 🙂
Chaline
Lisa thanks for that! My daughter is thriving in school and her socail life but is out of school at least a few times a month! It’s so hard like everyone says when you are constantly trying to change their diet and worrying! I’m just going my best, pray and let go of what I cannot control.
Laraba
Very interesting and good post! We have 8 children and are, I guess, different from most of your readers because we do vaccinate, we don’t eat all organic, our sweet kids eat quite a bit of sugar, etc. We are moving towards a healthier diet and grow quite a bit of our own food, but STILL…for me, just keeping everyone fed is more the focus some days. I also didn’t breastfeed my last 4 kids as long as I wanted because my milk supply dried up. I’ve seen SUCH variation in how often the children get sick, and it hasn’t tied in directly to how much they breast fed, etc. Interestingly, all our winter babies have had worse environmental allergies than the summer ones. Our 5th child, born in December, got RSV her first week of life (all the other kids had walking pneumonia that week — not an easy week!) and had asthma her first few years though it has largely cleared up. I do think that there is a tendency not JUST to pride, but also to wanting control. When I hear of something terrible happening to another family — cancer or a car crash causing major injury or death — I find (to my shame) that my brain starts flitting around trying to find reasons why that wouldn’t happen to US. Because it is terrifying to think of my child getting cancer, or some other serious illness, or a car crash claiming a life. So I think sometimes judgment is a way to feel safer about our own children. AS many have said, we can do what we can but much of it is in the Lord’s hands.
Josie
My now two year old has been sick constantly since August…she wasn’t sick at all her first year. I have spent the whole fall and winter being sick too. I had to cancel a 10k I was planning to run because I couldn’t keep in a running routine. We had two emergency room visits for febrile seizures, one where we had to call an ambulance. So many doctors visits. Constant runny nose since October. I am at a loss. My mom keeps asking me why and what we are doing..no idea. It makes me feel terrible! Thank you for this post!
Stephanie
My child has been constantly sick since the beginning of March 2014. Off and on with either strep, or plain old “viruses” as the docs say. But here is a new challenge. I have noticed that 1-2 days after playing with our neighbors kids, the fever spikes. Am I losing it here to think that they make her sick every time we see them? But really, we haven’t seen the kid in well over a month since the last time we did she got strep, and BAM, fever. Is this even possible? I don’t know how well my neighbors take their health, but just the other day they told me that the mom is 5 months pregnant and has not seen a doctor, so that troubled me. Can these kids be carriers of strep and my kid is just the sucker that easily get strep? It’s unfortunate, but being a SAHM with constant sick kids is making me stir crazy. Thanks for listening.
Twogirlsmom
I feel your pain. My daughter was ill for the first few years of life (constant viral and ear infections). Then it tapered off for a couple years with a random illness here and there. Now she is 6 and has been sick since February with constant viruses, uti and now strep. Her body is so run down and I am blaming myself. Also I wonder about the neighborhood children too. They seem to be so healthy- never catching anything but even when they have something they are off to school without issue. While mine stays home and misses days at a time. Always getting fevers with everything as well. I really am blaming myself and looking into ways to be better with nutrition and hand-washing but I feel defeated when other kids are so heatlhy.
Anne Belley
I am so grateful that, a couple of years ago, I discovered the Upper Cervical Health Care Center of America. I cannot believe that I suffered for so many years, when the problem was so easy to correct. However, it is not for ME that I am the most EXCITED! All of our nine children are under care. Why? Did they all have neck and back problems? No. But when the two most important bones of the spine, the only ones with names, the Atlas and the Axis, are out of alignment, the brain stem becomes compressed. Therefore, the affected nerves cannot send the appropriate message to their corresponding organs. So many children suffer from sicknesses that could be averted if the body were given the chance to “heal itself.” That is the way God designed our bodies! One daughter no longer has earaches, another no longer experiences severe monthly cramps, another is thrilled to have more energy, one says her headaches have stopped. We still get little viruses, colds, tummy aches, but the sicknesses just don’t last, and are not as frequent. Please, everyone, find a specialist in YOUR area!
shanna
My daughter is constantly sick. Cold after cold after cold. This month alone she has had a cold, then and ear infection, was fine a week and now has croup. How do you deal with this? Since she has been born last August, she has been sick twice a month. On her birthday she had hand foot and mouth disease. I feel like she can’t catch a break. I feel so helpless and am constantly getting the third degree from my mother in law about her being sick all the time. I feel like less of a mother.
kelly
Yes, with five kids..it seems like we are sick a lot. Especially a few years ago, when my children were younger. I was shocked at the negative comments that I received: Maybe I wasn’t washing their hands enough. Maybe it was because they weren’t eating enough organic fruits and veggies. Maybe it was because I worked. Etc.
It is so important not to judge each other. You can never know what someone else is going through unless you have been in their shoes. Most mom’s love their children and strive to do their best for them.
becky
Thank you. This came at the perfect time. My middle child is consistently sick and catches everything that comes by. I needed to read this. Thankyou thankyou thankyou.
Amanda
Luckily I was a ‘sickly’ child because now that my son catches everything under the sun each and every season, I am able to not carry too much guilt over it. I watched my mom my entire growing up years try EVERYTHING to help me live a healthier life. You know what finally worked? Me growing out of it.
Because I work I have bosses and they don’t necessarily like moms with sick kids. I’ve been asked repeatedly “boy he gets sick a lot huh?”. It more annoys me than anything. But just to cover tracks the last two times we were in getting antibiotics for ear infections I asked the dr. if I should be concerned. “nope, he’ll grow out of it”.
It’s great to be natural because we know it is best for our bodies. We still live in a fallen world though and our bodies are only temporary. So, yes, we are all able to get sick- and we will! But it doesn’t matter because God is still in control.
Amanda
Thank you so much my oldest rarely ever gets sick, my middle started getting sick all the time last fall right after her 3rd birthday. My youngest has been sick a few times also and I always feel when they are that I did or didn’t do something that made them sick. My middle one has been diagnosed with asthma and don’t know what caused it. Anytime that we have major drops in the temp she seems to have an episode and it continues to get worse until I take her in. as soon as she gets a liquid steroid the next day she is better and than I feel horrible because I feel I am harming her in the long term. I have this consistent battle with myself about what to do, how long to wait before taking her in, what to try and etc…. anyways thank you for your post as I am in the process of battling these choices once again as the cough and sleepiness and not eating a lot has kicked in as of yesterday
nonya buisness
All of you people are terrible. The fact that you are all putting your selfish ways ahead of your child’s well being makes me sick. You should all have your children taken away from you monsters. The fact that you think it’s not your fault that your child is getting sick because of your dumb ass not having them receive they’re shots just proves your ignorance.
Justin
I second this^
B
Your post is totally irrelevent. Not everyone wbo posts jere doesn’t vaccinate. We do and my dtr is sick A Lot. And most of the kids i know are vacced and get sick a lot.
LOvemikid
Funny you should post this. My son is up to date with every freaking one of those vaccines because I’m not brave enough to skip them. He is 18 months and constantly sick always something else. I try to do everything right from feeding him healthy food, cutting dairy out of his diet because of reflux, and keeping our living space clean. Plus I’ve tried a lot of immune building supplements ones that worked for me. I would do anything for him to help him, but the truth is this isn’t in my hands. SO before you judge put yourself in other people’s shoes. I wouldn’t wish a sick kid on anybody or say they’re selfish because they’re kid is always sick. FYI my cousins kids aren’t vaccinated and they’re far less sick than my vaccinated child so blame something else
Danielle
Finally something to agree with! These nut cases need to be locked up for not vaccinating! And not allowing your kid to have treats with sugar, and pizza and an occasional soda or something??? You never know when your child will die…hopefully you feel guilty for not letting them enjoy life like normal kids while they could have. Life is short, stop being fucking anal cunts.
Jing
From the moment I read your title, it immediately spoke to me. I used to brag about how healthy my child was during her first 2 years of life because of how we feed her balanced meals everyday. But now that she’s 3 and has started school, she gets sick 1-2x a month even if we feed her the same thing. Our house often smells like puke. She would get well and after a few days of being in school, she would get sick again. It’s exhausting. I would often say, what is it this time?? So thank you for this post. It truly made me feel better… It is exactly what I needed.
WorriedMama
I came across this today as my husband sits in the pediatric urgent care with my 13 month old son, who has been sick with one viral illness/cold/cough/croup diagnosis after another for 2 months. I use essential oils, natural cleansers, organic food, extra veggies/fruits in smoothies for snacks, vitamin C and probiotics, etc. And he was breastfed. None of this has helped a bit in the last 2 months – he has been well 1 week out of 8, and I can’t even count how many times we’ve been to the ER, urgent care or pediatricians office. I feel helpless, inept and defeated – as I sat down on the computer to do some research I came across your post. I needed to read this today – thank you so much for the encouragement. Lately, I could not feel like a bigger failure.
Georgina
I’m sorry your baby has not been well. Mommy, you are not a failure. Some children just get sick a lot. Sometimes there’s an explanation; sometimes not. As an infant, my son always had a cold, then they finally pegged the colds as ear/sinus infections. He was getting one ear infection after the next and in early infancy, the symptoms look a lot like colds or the flu. The amoxicillan they gave him always resulted in diaper rash and diarrhea. He was sensitive to it. After they put tubes in his ears, he went to just a 2-week seasonal cold every year. My homeschooling friend who lives on organic food and are 95% vegetarian, has sick kids all of the time. She’s also always sick with them. I just think they, as a family don’t have very strong immune systems. Be strong mommy and continue to do the best for your kid. Hopefully, your baby is just building their immune system and the illnesses will become less frequent. You could always try a second opinion by going to another doctor to see if the root of the issue is ear related or something respiratory that makes them susceptible to picking up a virus. It certainly wouldn’t hurt. Ear problems were the root cause to my son’s illnesses as an infant.
Georgina
Interesting article on sick children. I have often believed that there are a combination of factors as to why children do our do not get sick. As a child, I caught the cold and the flu once a year, that was it. As an adult, I almost never got sick, with the exception of a sort lived cold, which arose like clockwork. When my son was born, as soon as he went into daycare at 45 days old, so I could return to the military, he was constantly sick with colds. At 4 months I had to stop breast feeding as I had to deploy to war. Rolling ear infections until he was 17 months old and they put tubes in his ears. Since that time he’s hardly gotten sick at all. He’s 12 now and he’s has the flu once, when he was 5. He’s had the flu shot about 1/3 of his years. This year he didn’t catch a single virus, but he did get pinworms and H-pylori, birth of which are parasites and bacterial infections from playing in the dirt or from other kids. My friend homeschools her kids, eats organic and does all this other stuff. They are sick all of the time; meaning just about every month. What this proves to me is that regardless of what you do, your kid may or may not have a strong immune system. Maybe your child wind the lottery in genetics where they just don’t get sick easily. Maybe your child is not around enough people, so their little bodies don’t build a resistance to unfavorable germs, so they get sick as soon as they are around a sick kid. Maybe your child naturally has a compromised immune system from birth, making them susceptible to catching everything. Who knows. There are plenty of studies that would argue all of these facts to be true. I feel sorry for those who have children who get sick all of the time. I have never had anyone ever lecture me about the health of my son, him watching too much tv, him being in public school, him being vaccinated. Not that I would tolerate it from them because I can easily argue and prove the flip-side. There’s no such thing as perfect parenting and anyone who argues there is; is far from a perfect parent; just until that child grows up and you’ll see what’s missing. Thousands of years of varied styles of parenting has produced awesome results at all corners. I wild suggest that each parent find what works for them under their personal value system and hopefully you’ll find that path that leads to healthy happy children.
Georgina
I apologize for my typos, my phone’s auto correct is apparently being combative today 🙂
Stephanie
Thank you.
Erin
Hugs, Mama!
Tara Sanchez
Thank you for this. I can’t adequately explain how hearing this encourages me. It’s a very isolating place to be in when your children seem constantly ill. All it takes is entertaining one negative thought and it’s a downward spiral. All the while, our little ones need our faith and care. Thank you for writing this. I’m bookmarking it to come back and read from time to time. Perhaps I need to look into food allergy testing and chiropractic care for my children. Th k you again.
Erin
I’m so sorry you feel isolated! I hope you find answers!
karnisz
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Stefani
So I just sat down at the computer and Googled “why is my child always sick,” and this came up….and I wept as I read it. I have 3 little girls who have had either stomach bugs or colds non-stop for as long as I can remember (at least since my 4.5 yo was born). I’ve done all the pediatrician asked and put them on vitamins and taught hand-washing. Still, my girls catch EVERYTHING that’s going around. I know I need to keep digging for the answer and pushing my pediatrician to help, but this afternoon you gave me so much encouragement. Thank you. I think I have the strength now to politely ignore all the judgements and keep finding the real answers.
Maggie
I found your site by googling my daughter is always sick. This has been going on for 5 years now. We’ve done the elimination diet, the herbs, the vitamins, the multiple doctors tests that give no answers. Yet, I’ve had to call the attendance office again today due to digestive issues that seem to cause misery but have no answers. So, here I go, trying to find another specialist who can help. Another possible answer on the internet, while I watch my child be sick again. The daughter who has unbelievably managed to maintain a 4.0 while missing so much school I’m surprised I haven’t gotten a visit from CPS or been accused of that awful by proxy mental illness. The daughter who wants to travel, and dance and do so much, yet her health keeps setting her back again and again. I would charge any amount on my visa, fly to any state if I could only find a way to help my daughter.
So, thank you for writing this. No one can really understand what it’s like to have a chronically ill child unless you have been there. It’s exhausting. It’s this constant nagging, worry that overshadows everything. And the judgements. Oh the judgements when you tell someone your daughter is allergic to x, y, and z. Like, you somehow enjoy not being able to just pick up takeout pizza or eat out as a family. Like you get your kicks by making sure your child always has food ready they can take to any social function so their health won’t be any more compromised than it already is. Oh, the irony of someone who hates to cook having a child with food sensitivities. But I could handle even that if my child was well. But even with eliminating the food that causes distress to her body, she is still getting sick. Most days, I feel completely abandoned by God.
Raven
…What “community” exactly would you be referring to? This appears to be a blog, not a message board. lol.
Annie
Praising God for this article right now. It’s 1 am and I just finished holding my sweet three year old son who is sick with pneumonia, his fourth illness in three months. (and yet we went an entire year with out antibiotics) that’s exactly what I said to my husband. I must be doing something wrong.
And… We go to the allergist next month.
Thank you!
Tab
I can relate 100%. Growing up I constantly had a cold. All it took was being around people one day. Later on I remember being nearly in tears asking our family doctor if it gets better because my boys were sick all the time. He reassured me that it does, and it did! After the age of 5 their immune systems improved. I started to take garlic and parsley tabs and began giving them some and we are all much healthier. It wasn’t until I went on thyroid that I began to really have a fighting chance. Instead of treating symptoms, I wish doctors would train patients to boost their immune systems. The garlic and parsley tabs have helped my kiddos lots and the thyroid has completely changed my life. This is not to say that we won’t have a bad year of sickness, sometimes that’s just the way it is, but at least we now have a fighting chance. My heart goes out to anyone who has sick kids. It’s a helpless feeling. I’m old fashioned about staying home and not exposing elderly or immune suppressed people and also know how isolating that feels. It’s not a courtesy that is often practiced these days. That little courtesy could save others a lot of illness. That, and teaching kids to wash their hands 🙂
lauren
Someone posted something I believe hit the nail on the head. If your child is responsive to natural remedies for health problems than one should be thankful that they have the opportunity to do so and that their Childs health problems respond to natural remedies. My oldest child is so healthy and responds well to natural remedies and we have rarely given her OTCs but my two youngest boys have been plaques with illness since birth from simple colds, to structural birth defects and even a seizure disorder they are always getting terribly ill. Because of this we no longer treat them with natural remedies. On several occasions doing so made one of my sons very ill. I truly wish we had the opportunity to go natural but we dont and I have learned I cannot let my pride of being natural come before my Childs health. On a happy note my oldest DD is healthy and responds very well to natural remedies. We are all biologically different and It is hurtful to hear from others that the way you’ve chosen for your children is wrong because it is not natural. I am much more receptive to trying something new when I hear about it in passing conversation and not in a forceful manner. Be happy for others if their choices have led their children to be happy and healthy even if its not the choices you believe are right…it is ultimately about the child and their happiness not our own egos. Support your friends by reaffirming with them that they are doing good even if its not what you see as idea and offer only ideas….we all love advice columns but imagine if you were expected to follow that advice even if you didn’t believe in what was being offered….
Haynes Family
My 4 yr old daughter has had lots of serious illnesses that both kept her and I home from daycare and work, and forced admittance into the hospital. We’ve actually been told by a doctor recently after doing more bloodwork that she naturally has an extremely low immune system after years of fear, pain, and sadness. She will grow out of it one day, and I have come to a point of acceptance that I will lose jobs over her illnesses. No job is worth leaving her with an unlicensed babysitter or just simply not being with her at home when she is suffering the most. My husband and I trade out who stays home when she gets sick, and we have no family to watch her (well). There really is no choice when the doctor explicitly tells you to keep her away from others for a time period. I’ll never let some idiot manager tell me I must choose between work and family, when there clearly is no choice at times. One thing that the doctor got her started on that helps is powdered kids’ probiotic to mix into drinks. I still give her Flintstones vitamins, make health shakes, and make sure she washes her hands well and often, but to be completely honest, sometimes you just simply have a kid that’s going to get sick alot in their childhood, and nothing will prevent that.
Heather
My son, (5th child) was constantly sick ears were not a problem put skin and lungs were. 6 months of hives after giving up with our local Drs. I took him to the city. He is allergic to petroleum. He has been airlifted for respitory distress at age 2 followed by a week in the PICU and another on the pediatric floor and later hospitalized twice for pneumonia. He doesn’t get regular colds. We are on our 3rd nebulizer. The motors burnt out in the other two. He is a severe brittle asthmatic. He is almost 15 now and hasn’t Had an attack in 2 yrs. he is active in sports and is a runner. My advice. Be patient and give yourself a break. Take some time for you even if it’s an hour reading at the library. You deserve it. My biggest struggle was getting him to sleep alone. I created that monster because I was afraid and needed to hear him breath. It took almost 3 years to get him to sleep through the night in his own bed.
Hillary
I see this is an old article, but this year has been tough on my kiddos. 2 of my little boys have ASD and started special ed Pre-K this year, and their attendance has been awful. Reason being, they seem to have caught every virus and bacterial infection that has run through the place. Luckily, their school has been really nice about it, and lenient about the Dr.’s note requirement. I ask myself all the time what I’m doing wrong, why their immune systems seem so fragile. Do they need to live in a bubble? Is there something more I can be doing to help. Short of helicoptering their every move and chasing them around their world with a bottle of hand sanitizer, there doesn’t seem to be much I can do. There’s no easy answers. It’s been an exhausting roller-coaster of fevers, vomit, snot, poop, and missed hours of precious sleep, and we’ve all been grumpy and feeling bad. I really like this article because it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. I cried happy tears while I read it. Thank you for writing it!
Erin
I’m so sorry you are going through this, Hillary! After several years like this, I can say it does seem to get a little better when they get older. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You sound like you are doing an amazing job, Mama!!
Jaymie
Thank you!!!! I am battling this right now. Your words of encouragement truly help!
sariksha
Hi All you precious mama’s, I am a first time mommy, My baby was born prem and during pregnancy I was constantly in hospital, once baby was born he was fine just needed adjustments to milk as he never breast fed, from birth to now he was admitted twice in hospital for diarrhea and dehydration and through out these 13 months we have had endless nose blocks coughing runny tummy as well as constipation,
Please help any advice right now would be great.
How did you guys clear up mucus blocked up in the nose, tried illiadin as well as saline spray eucalyptus oils, humidifier as well as sinumax.
Thanks moms
Patrick
Hi…My son is 2year old and have been feeling unwell since childhood,when get him to the hospital for tests…nothing show up as in no illness at all,I’m much worried cos my wife had stay with my baby till get well.Please advise on what to do.
Erin
I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I would insist on more tests and would get other opinions from different doctors. I will say a prayer right now.
Gina
Hello. I don’t know if you will see this because most of you have posted a few years ago but I was wondering if any of the moms out there have noticed if their children have gotten better over the years. My son is 6 years old and is constantly sick since he was 3. He also has asthma. Just hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
Erin
Hi Gina! Yes! My girls are MUCH better now. Once we removed certain foods from their diet, we saw a VAST improvement. Dairy was a big culprit for our sickly, asthma child. She now has it in moderation (she is almost 7) but it’s been so long since she’s been sick or has an asthma attack that her doc has now marked her down as “history of asthma” instead of asthma. Hope that helps!
B
I experience this and my biggest conundrum is that my dtrs peers will get a 24 hour bug amd be done whereas she will ha e a fever for 5 days or a terrible cough for 2 weeks straight feeling rundown etc. She eats much healthier and less sygar than her friends but to no avail. I guess I just ha e to do my best and acceot it is what it is. I definitely still will do all i can to empower a healthy lifestyle for my family as i do think it’s important. But i have to stop obsessing trying to pinpoint one specific reason. I remember back in jr high getting the stomach bug 5x one year but there wasn’t any special reason why. My dtr does have food sensitivities and thought we were doing better since treating those but have basically been sick sinceAugust when started school this yr. I am really hoping we aren’t going back to how it was a couple yrs ago. I find it very frustrating., we have basically done nothing the past 2 wknds but watch movies bc she doesn’t feel up to anything. Trying to focus on the positive and be grateful for the health that she does have. It is heartbreaking to see them sick and no o e tells you how hard it will be.
Erin
I hope this year is much better for you. It is so hard and heartbreaking for sure. 🙁
adigirl
I found this after Googling “I’m tired of my kid being sick” so that should tell you where I am today!
I am single parent and I am not at all an all natural or organic mom. I do try when possible to be as organic and natural as possible but honestly, it’s just not in my budget.
I have a child that gets very sick every year, right around Christmas and/or New Years…honestly, I’m a little traumatized by it. The holidays create anxiety because I’m expecting her to get sick any minute. I don’t remember getting sick much as a child. She gets fevers up to 104.6. I have tried some of the natural remedies but really, at a certain point, you have to give them medication because once they get to 105, you should take them to the ER, at least that’s what the nurse afterhours line told me.
I am so glad I read this because as a single parent, I have no one around to bounce off a course of action to/from. I have my intuition and I don’t always trust that. A lot of times, it means I end up at the urgent care or ER.
I did want to say that it is pride that makes mothers believe that because they give organic/all natural methods that their kids are healthy. It’s not always that easy. Everyone’s immunity is different. I breastfed my daughter until she was 1 and did not seem to do as much as I would like in terms of immunity. One thing I’d like to share is that God allows (not that He wills it) our kids to get sick in order to trust in Him. Not that it will end perfectly, but just that our trust in Him will be more perfect. I think God uses my daughter’s illnesses to show me that He is my strength, He is with me, and He wants me to go deeper into relationship with him…after all, relationships are based on trust.
Marie
I am right there with you on having anxiety during the holidays/winter months due to my son’s illnesses. For two years he has been sick constantly and it is horrible. He just went through a stomach virus into a cold, then strep throat, the worst case of croup, and now bronchitis. Last year he developed pneumonia twice during winter. You are a warrior mom because you are dealing with such struggles, and I totally understand! I’m so glad I found this post because moms like you make me feel not entirely alone through these hard times.
DistressedMommy
First time mommy, My 18 month old son is allergic to the top 8 and then some and battles with eczema. I always felt bad because I can never truly alleviate his eczema, but to make matters worse I found out that a lot of his scratching was due to Pinworms. PINWORMS. I feel like an absolute disgusting failure as a mother and I have cried nonstop since finding them. Hygiene was always strict in my household because of his allergies and possible cross-contamination from outside sources so I don’t understand how he got them. I feel like it’s my fault and I have never felt more embarrassed, disgusting, and ashamed, and my heart groans for baby because it’s his mommy’s fault that he is miserable. But reading some of the comments made me realize things could be a lot worse. I will just follow a stricter hygiene routine, be extra careful when out, and thank God it’s something that is treatable. My prayers go out to you all and your little ones!
Dawn
I’m typing this as I sit on the couch crying with my 3 year old… after being sent home from work (I work at the daycare my son attends) because he is sick…again. We have missed so much work that my boss is “getting really tired of this”. I dont have anyone to babysit. I’m a single mom. No family can (read will) help… I feel like the worst momma in the world… I just don’t know what to do anymore…
Jenny
My 2 year old has been sick since he hit 7 months old, croup (8 times now) flu, ear infections (we have tubes now which is a miracle), the guilt and anxiety is relentless. My sister has 3 children and she is like my kids were never that sick. Thank you for this article! I needed to hear it on this Mothers day as we are battling croup 8 days now. Happy mothers day to you mommas, your all doing wonderful job!
Katy
I love this post! Not only do I feel terribly because my kids are always sick, but I have probably made other moms feel badly about decisions they’ve made regarding their children’s health. This post is exactly what I needed to read and I can totally relate. Thank you!
Erin
I’m so glad it encourage you, Katy! Hang in there!
Loren
Thank you for writing this post. My son is almost 15 months old. And he has been sick a lot in my point of view. What doesn’t make life easier, is my husband and I are living with my mom. And there’s more relatives of mine living along with us. We plan to move out but still not financially stable. My husband works long hours I mean like 5 am to 8 pm. His job is demanding and I get it but I feel like I dont get a break/ a breather. I love my son so much but I just need a few mins to myself. So sometimes my mom offers to watch him 20-30 mins. And this last Thursdays she was congested but she didn’t look sick, so I asked how she was feeling she said she felt ok and stupid slow allowed her to watch my son. So now he is sick. My husband got mad a time because our son is sick AGAIN. I just wish we could have our own place. I just feel so awful because its my fault my son is sick.
Summer
Wow, this post was divine intervention…as I am scrunched onto the couch yet again with my middle son and googling “child always sick” to find out what I am doing wrong and why we are here once again and so soon. My oldest is never sick, he gets the sniffles and the occasional cough, but nothing prepared us for our second. He started out day one in the NICU and it has been one thing after another and now that he is three the viruses seem to hit like clockwork. And although I thoroughly “thieves’d” after the last bug hit and have done all the natural momma prevention here we are again. Stumbling onto this post was like a message from the Lord telling me that it’s not my fault and that I should go back to sleep before round 2 hits…thank you and God bless!
Erin
I wrote this post years ago, but I have to say that I’ve been thinking back to it myself this week, as I have 4 kids now and my youngest (22 months) got hit HARD with two viruses in the same week this past week. My second, who was sick pretty constantly as a baby and toddler, is now 8, and she has a super immune system! I am so glad you were encouraged! We can do this!!
Keera
This post is so helpful. My 6 year old son had been sick the whole winter of 2018. It’s colds after colds after colds. He was diagnosed with asthma last fall and since then he had 2 episode of pneumonia. Is there something that I could have prevented? I highly doubt it. He starts with having cold symptoms that would turn into a cough that gets worst. And since I know him so well, I don’t wait, as soon as he gets a fever with that cough, I take him to his doctor and as soon as he listens to his lungs, he already knows he’s developing pneumonia. So my son had to do nebulizer every 4 hours, antibiotics, oral steroids etc. And I ask my self, why? Why does he get sick like this when our neighbors kids play outside the whole winter and never gets a cold? As I am typing this right now, my son is sleeping beside me and coughing and I know the cycle is going to start again. I wish I know the answer but I just pray and and have faith that he will get better soon.
Kate
Thank you. Thank you for posting this. I am that mom right now, blaming myself for not doing something right. I’m on to read your post about food allergies now!! I’m so glad I stumbled upon your site!
Janie
My son has been sick on and off since December and has been to doctors and hospitals countless times for many reasons but now he’s covered in a very itchy rash for over a month and nothing will take it away. He also has puss filled scabs on his scalp . I am getting no answers from any doctors he has seen. Has anyone else been through this ? I cry everyday hoping for some answers so he can be a happy 1 yr old and I can be a happy proud mother but i just feel so helpless and hopeless.