Do you ever feel not even close to amazing? Do you think you’re the only one with so many imperfections? Think again, dear friend! You’re not alone.
Back when I was a newlywed, I had a certain picture of what a wife’s role in the home was supposed to look like.
Specifically, I thought I needed to be the only one who did all of the cooking, cleaning, and decorating.
The only problem? I wasn’t skilled in any of those things. And guilt consumed me.
My husband, on the other hand, was an excellent chef, grew up with the best-housekeeper-of-a-mother I’ve ever met (and it rubbed off on him, big time), and he is naturally more artistic than I am.
My lack of self-confidence in these areas and the fact that my husband did know a thing or two about all three caused tension between us from the very first week we were married.
I will never forget the time he had been working on yard work all Saturday while I had been working inside on housework.
After he finished cutting the grass, he came inside and started vacuuming.
“Oh no you don’t!” I ran to his side and swiped away the vacuum cleaner. “That’s my job!”
“Huh?” was his reaction. “Why can’t I help you? We’re in this together.”
Not long after (it might have actually been the exact same day!), I ushered him out of the kitchen.
I was painstakingly trying to peel and cut potatoes, and I was doing it all wrong. He came to my side and tried to show me how to do it. I got embarrassed, flustered, and offended.
“Get out of my kitchen!” I exclaimed in no quiet tones. “Let me do the cooking!”
Now, over 12 years later, I’m ashamed at how I treated my husband back then.
He was just trying to help, and I was so consumed in my own imperfection that I lashed out on him–instead of being grateful that he knew how to do things that I didn’t and wanted to help me learn the ropes of keeping a home.
While there was a time when I felt like I must truly be the most humbled of all homemakers ever, I’ve come to realize that I was not alone in my feelings of inadequacy when it came to cooking, cleaning, decorating–and later motherhood and simply…life.
But what I’ve come to realize is that I was never alone in my imperfections.
In fact, I now believe that it’s in and through our imperfections that we can best see Jesus’s redemption of our weaknesses.
When we do learn how to do things “right,” we can see His hand in it, and we can know that it’s only through Him and His grace that we’re able to overcome our weaknesses.
My lack of cooking, cleaning, and decorating skills? Those weren’t my true weaknesses either.
You know what I was really weak in? Pride. Plain and simple. Pride.
I was prideful that I couldn’t do those things well and that my husband was more skilled in what I thought I should know how to do.
It took a humbling, but God has now taught me to appreciate how He’s gifted my husband, appreciate how He’s gifted me. I can learn to do things one step at a time–all while relying on Him.
Nowadays, my husband and I can laugh about me skirting him out of the kitchen and grabbing that vacuum cleaner out of his hands.
I hope that you, too, friend, can learn to let God strengthen your weaknesses and laugh at those silly imperfections as well.
When we learn how to embrace the imperfect you that God create you to be, you can discover the amazing that was there all along.
If you’re feeling not even close to amazing, then I am excited to share with you about my friend Kari Anne Wood’s new book, So Close to Amazing: Stories of a DIY Life Gone Wrong and Learning to Find the Beauty in Every Imperfection.
I was honored to get to read an advanced release copy of the book. Y’all, it was the funniest and most down-to-earth book I had read in a long time. I was crying from laughing so hard in the very first chapter! Check out this excerpt below:
“One day, my hair is behaving; the house is clean; the DIY project turns out Pinterest perfect; all my kids actually like each other. On days like that, it’s an undisputed fact: I am an absolute rock star at life. And then comes the next day. I decide to trim my own bangs. It’s a tragic miscalculation. I was so close. So close to amazing.”
Besides a humorous memoir that will have you in stitches (hint: don’t read it anywhere where you might have to keep yourself from laughing out loud!), So Close to Amazing is full of DIY projects for real life people who might not feel like naturals at this whole home decor and home keeping gig.
Check out So Close to Amazing on Amazon or at your local bookstore. It’s a gorgeous, hardcover book that would also make an amazing Christmas or birthday gift for your mom, sister, aunt, or any friend in your life who could use a good laugh and the reminder that none of us are perfect–but we are all amazing.
Krystal
Oh I feel you in this post! 11 years in and I always feel like I’m missing the ball…such a good post to read a reread again to find encoragment in Jesus.
Erin
I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in this either!
Kaelynn
Aw, you are so lucky your husband has so many skills! I would faint with joy if someone took the vacuum away from me, haha! Being low on skills myself, my husband and I are always learning together. Like you used to, my husband gets so flustered in the kitchen when painstakingly trying to chop something the wrong way–I really have to be gentle and know when to intervene or if it’s better to let him work it out on his own. I’ll never forget one day that I came home to delicious homemade tortillas my husband had made–and also a kitchen (and husband) covered from floor to cupboards in flour! I have pictures to prove it. It was pretty epic! Learning is an ongoing adventure!
Erin
Homemade tortillas? Tell your hubby I’m majorly impressed! I still don’t have those down! I tried once, and it was an utter disaster! LOL It’s such a blessing when we can learn to learn together.
Cynthia
I want to know how you got into my head and watched all the replays of my life when I got married and even sometimes still today 19 years later. I am blind so I always pushed my husband out of my “domain” and wouldn’t let him help. I viewed his help as a sign that he thought I couldn’t do the job right. He always told me the same thing your husband did that this is a partnership and we are in this together. I have learned to appreciate his help now as just a pitching in to get something done so we have more time to relax later. Thanks for your story of my life, lol. Blessing
Erin
Your comment made me smile and realize I am not alone. Thank you for sharing! I love hearing about how you and your husband have learned to grow together too!
Lucy, Kent ~ England
I have to admit to smiling when I read this. My story was many years ago (I’ve been widowed 10 yrs), We were both into a second relationship having both been abandoned by our respective spouses and having had to make a home for ourselves alone.
I was pretty set in my ways, my first abusive husband had demanded things be done just so or else. When I lived alone I made a decision to do everything differently, even when his way had been right. I also had a pretty set idea on his and her jobs. My new love was coming from a completely different place and 19 years older than me, so 19 years more experience of life and humility.
He worked shifts 7am – 4pm, 2pm – 11pm as a Customs Officer, I was a full time mature student doing my BAEd.
Result was we both left at the same time if he was on early and I’d drop him at work (he didn’t drive) on my way to Uni and pick him up if he was on late shift. I would be so mad if I got home from Uni to find that he’d cleaned or cooked, it was my job! On top of dropping him off, picking him up driving 25 miles each way to lectures, doing my homework, doing the grocery shopping. I expected to run our home, take care of the laundry, our two cats and be a loving partner.
After managing for 6 weeks, because he bless him, let me have my head and do everything I got sick and ended up in bed for a week.
After that we agreed that we both do what we could when we could, either together or separately, and that worked fabulously right up until the day he died.
Then I did what I had to, with the tools he gave me in our life together and that’s what I’m still doing today.
Erin
Thank you so much for sharing this sweet story about how you and your husband learned to work together, Lucy. I remember you commenting before–with such wisdom! I appreciate you and can see through your words what a loving relationship you had with your husband. I know you must miss him greatly. Sharing stories like this keeps his memory alive. He sounds like he was an amazing man who loved you very much.
KariAnne Wood
Thank you so much, Erin, for sharing the message of the book. You are an inspiration to me and to so many. Thank you for sharing your story, first. 🙂
Happy day!
karianne
Erin
Thank you for writing such an amazing book and for helping open the door for us all to share our “imperfect” stories! You’re an inspiration!! <3
Leah
Thanks for your message of hope in Jesus. I’ve been having that kind of day when my feelings of inadequacy are on my sleeve and every bump bruises my ego. So thankful for the reminder that He will take the wheel and help us get back on course. It also doesn’t hurt to be reminded that we are in this together, something that my husband and I seem to have forgotten. Will try again tomorrow.
Ember @ An Intentional Lifestyle
This is beautiful. I am so full of pride many times, and always think I have to do things on my own. I was raised to be independent and it tends to make problems in my life at times because I don’t want to ask for help. This is something I am constantly working on, but I have an awesome husband that is helping me remember that I’m not alone. Thank you for this, as it helps me remember that I really am not alone.
Erin
I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one either, Ember! Thank you so much for being transparent and sharing your story!