Inside: I FINALLY stopped blaming my baby for my weight gain, and I started losing weight! Here’s how you can finally get rid of the baby weight too!
My “baby” is 3 1/2 years old. For 3 1/2 years now, I’ve been telling myself that I just “hadn’t lost the baby weight.”
Finally, toward the end of 2015, I realized that I could no longer blame the baby for my lack of weight loss.
I had to do something about it myself if I ever wanted to start losing weight.
Since January, I have lost 15 pounds and counting. I’m losing at a rate of 1.5 pounds per week.
One half pound to 2 pounds per week is a very safe rate at which to lose weight, and I feel confident that losing weight in the slow and steady pace at which I am is more likely to help me keep it off in the long-term.
One of the keys in starting to lose weight was admitting to myself that I am to blame for this weight gain and not my baby.
There are 3 key reasons why it took me more than 3 years to get close to my pre-pregnancy weight, and none of them had to do with my children!
1. I was not eating intentionally.
Even though I am not obese, at the beginning of this weight loss journey, I was not at a healthy weight. That might confuse some people because I do eat healthy compared to the Standard American Diet.
I haven’t drank soft drinks in nearly 20 years.
I very rarely eat processed foods. I snack on fruits, veggies, nuts, and cheese.
I’ve even been gluten-free since 2011, and I cook from scratch for our family.
But I had not been mindful about the way I had been eating.
I realized that I was not eating the correct foods together.
My meals were not centered in protein.
I was not drinking enough water.
And, perhaps most self-sabotaging, I was not making sure I ate when I was hungry. I would go hours and hours without eating, so when I did eat, I would eat too much food to satisfy my hunger.
Simply put, I was not being intentional about the way I ate.
Related: My Wedding Ring Doesn’t Fit (and Other Confessions)
2. I had gained more weight since my youngest was born.
The fact that–more than three years after giving birth–I had been the largest I’ve ever been in my life bothered me so much that I chose not to weigh myself. The only way I knew I had not lost the baby weight was how my clothes were fitting.
Worst of all, I could not wear my wedding ring for several months because I had gained weight.
So when I did finally weigh myself when my child was nearly 3 1/2 years old, I realized I actually weighed more than I did after our youngest daughter was born back in 2012!
I did an exercise challenge on my blog back when she was an infant. I had published how much weight I was losing at the time. Recently, I stumbled upon a post from that time and I weighed less then than when I started losing weight again when she was 3 1/2!
I realized right then and there that I could no longer blame the baby for my weight gain.
3. I was not very active.
To be transparent, I was living a pretty sedentary life. I’m not changing diapers or chasing toddlers around anymore. At this writing, my girls can mostly dress themselves because they are 3 1/2, 5 1/2, and 7 1/2.
Because I work at home and run a blog, during my work time I am sitting in front of a computer, which is the complete opposite of how I spent my work time as a traveling ESL teacher before I had my children. Then, I was on the move constantly!
Now, by this point, you’re probably wondering just how I am losing weight! Check out these:
6 Reasons Why I Am Finally Losing Weight
1. I got a realistic view of a healthy weight.
I was a normal weight during my early life. Then, in my 20s, I was underweight because I became very ill with mono when I was 24, lost 15 pounds, and it kicked up my metabolism to unhealthy high levels.
I am a hair shy of 5’6″ and on my wedding day I weighed 103 pounds. I am not trying to get down to my wedding weight. That was much too thin for my height and frame.
I don’t need to be that thin again. When I look back, I probably wasn’t healthy. I was not eating healthy foods. Instead, I was eating low-fat, processed foods that had lots of added sugar.
I don’t like talking about numbers because healthy is different for everyone. Look at online charts and talk to your doctor to determine what is a healthy weight for you.
To get you started, check out this ideal weight calculator and adult BMI calculator. They will help you strive for healthy goals. Based on these, I was overweight when I began this journey in January 2016, and I am now at the top end of healthy ranges. I would like to lose another 10 to 15 pounds and stop there.
2. I started following the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan.
In January 2016, I started following the Trim Healthy Mama plan. I had tried this plan in the past when the first (600-page!) Trim Healthy Mama book came out, around the time my 3rd child was born. However, I sadly didn’t fully grasp the plan even after studying the book, and I fell into bad eating habits.
When the newer plan book came out in 2015, I heard it was easier to understand and follow. I was excited to read it, and I agree that the way the plan is laid out in this book is much easier to follow!
Trim Healthy Mama is a sugar-free, low-glycemic plan based around eating whole foods.
In a nutshell, every meal is centered around protein.
There are satisfying meals that are fat-heavy and include healthy fats, like avocados, coconut oil, and extra virgin olive oil. Then, there are energizing meals that include healthy carbs, like sweet potatoes, quinoa, brown rice, and oats.
The key is that you don’t combine both healthy fats and healthy carbs in the same meal and you separate each meal by three hours.
If you eat both healthy fats and healthy carbs in the same meal, you may gain weight–even though they are healthy foods!
Why?
If your metabolism is sluggish (like mine was), your body will burn through the glucose first in the healthy carb meals and will not be able to burn through the fat as well. It will pack on the fat.
So, if you separate the fats and carbs, your body can more effectively burn both.
Related: Trim Healthy Mama Coaching
The healthy fat (or “S” for “satisfying”) meals are very similar to what meals look like on a paleo diet, keto, or the Whole 30. Even though I did the Whole 30 as a short detox back in 2014, I don’t believe it should be a way of life.
Our bodies need healthy carbs! Especially for those of us who are prone to adrenal fatigue or thyroid issues (raising my hand!), it is vital that we fuel our bodies with both fats and carbs.
Millions of women around the world have changed their lives through the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan. You can join their Facebook group here to see testimonials.
I had been a lurker and a dabbler of THM for several years, and I’m glad I finally bit the bullet and dove in because I’ve never felt better about the way I’m eating.
But giving up sugar?! That doesn’t sound like fun!
It actually can be, and, before long, I promise you will start to see your sugar cravings diminish.
Although THM is a sugar-free eating plan, that doesn’t mean there are no sweets!
In fact, if you search Pinterest, you will find thousands of Trim Healthy Mama-approved dessert recipes, and you’ll even find my homemade protein packed peanut butter cups right here on this blog!
(You can follow my Trim Healthy Mama Pinterest board here.)
Related: Homemade Protein-Packed Peanut Butter Cups {THM S}
If you are interested in trying out Trim Heathy Mama, I highly recommend getting and reading the plan book and one of the cookbooks. There are nearly 400 recipes in the first cookbook, and I use it every day!
The plan book has been revised and updated from the original plan book published back in 2012 (just a week after my third daughter was born!). While the original plan book is a treasure trove of information (and I recommend those further along in their journeys to read it to glean all kinds of wisdom), reading the updated plan book really helped me get a good grasp on how the plan works.
One reason this plan appealed to me so much is that I am high risk for type 2 diabetes. My sister has type 1, my father has type 2, I have two first cousins with type 1, my grandparents had type 2, I had gestational diabetes in several of my pregnancies, I am over age 35…OK, you get the drift!
My thought pattern is this: Either I nourish my body with a low-glycemic way of eating now, or I medicate my body with insulin injections later.
Let that sink in for a minute.
Yes, friends, this healthy eating journey is about much more than just losing weight!
3. I am getting more sleep.
I have learned that lack of sleep can actually make you gain weight.
Sleep is how our body renews itself. If I go to bed past midnight, it will take me a week to recover. I used to not be this way.
While nourishing my body with good food, I have learned that I also need to nourish my body with good sleep. Two books that address sleep’s impact on health that changed the trajectory of my sleep health are The Adrenal Reset Diet and Sleep Smarter. I highly recommend both of these books!
Related: My Plan for Adrenal Fatigue Recovery
4. I am drinking more liquids.
I have been a coffee drinker since my firstborn was six months old, but I only drink it in the mornings.
Before, I would go hours and realize it was noon and I hadn’t drank anything else all day!
I am trying to be more mindful about always having a glass of water beside me wherever I am, and I can see that this is paying off!
5. I am doing low-impact exercises.
Intense exercise is not good for my body with my history of mono and adrenal fatigue.
High-intensity exercise, like what you find in bootcamps, etc. can be horrible for your adrenals because of the way it spikes cortisol levels. In fact, this extra stress of high intensity exercise can actually make your body hold onto weight!
Right now, I am exercising 15 to 20 minutes a day, three to four days per week.
Instead of bootcamps and hours-long exercise sprints, I am focusing on three different ways to add a little exercise into my healthy living routine:
Bonus: As a bonus for signing up for my weekly newsletter list, I’ll send you my free mini course: “How I Stopped Blaming the Baby & Started Losing Weight.” Sign up here.
I’m using my Fit2B Membership.
At this update in 2022, I’ve had a Fit2B membership for about 9 years. While I’ve always loved it and was drawn to this program because it’s tummy-safe, I really fell off the bandwagon several times and have gone long periods without using my membership at all.
There are many reasons why I love Fit2B, but the fact that many of the routines are only 10-15 minutes long has been a godsend during busy seasons of my life.
I’m a firm believer in some exercise being better than no exercise, and it has helped me to exercise more knowing I could easily fit in one of these short routines. Obviously, I would see more results if I exercised for longer, but right now I am celebrating little victories, with the goal of adding in more exercise as I continue to lose weight.
Fit2B‘s routines are mostly low-impact aerobics, pilates, and non-spiritual yoga. The owner, Beth, is a Christian, and she is so much fun! She has a huge heart for women and sees her online fitness studio as a ministry.
I’m walking.
I love to put in a podcast or audio book and walk the neighborhood during the warmer months.
I’m riding my bicycle.
My husband and girls gave me a new bike for Mother’s Day one year, and I love it so much! I enjoy riding it around my neighborhood.
6. I am being more disciplined.
I am not naturally a disciplined person. When I took the Strengths Finder test a few years ago, my lowest strength was discipline.
It takes discipline to follow Trim Healthy Mama, go to bed early, drink more liquids, and exercise.
I am focusing on discipline to make all the other pieces come together to get healthier, lose excess weight, and prevent disease in the future.
Update for 2022: I wrote this original post in March 2016, and wow–how life can change overnight! I ended up getting pregnant with my son–my 4th and final baby–just a few weeks after I wrote this post. He was the most wonderful surprise, and, at this writing, he is now 5 years old.
Sadly, I did not grasp how to follow the Trim Healthy Mama plan during my pregnancy with my son, and I gained 50 pounds. While I came home from the hospital having lost 40 pounds after his birth (he weighed over 10 pounds and I lost a lot of other fluids during the hospital stay), I ended up gaining back 30 pounds during his first two years of life!
When I finally got on the scale in December 2018, I was shocked to see that my BMI now classified me as obese.
I was tempted to feel ashamed, but I let my despair lead me to determination.
I applied the exact same principles that I wrote about in this post, and I lost those 30 pounds in six months.
My family went through a variety of trials in the years that followed, but I’ve been able to maintain the weight loss am currently at my “queen” weight, feel better than I have in years (even though I’m now in my 40s!), and I have been a certified Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle coach since November 2019! I now teach and coach other women how to follow the Trim Healthy Mama eating lifestyle to lose weight (or maintain a healthy weight), increase energy, eliminate brain fog, balance their blood sugar, and more.
It is possibly to lose weight and gain health without becoming exhausted or overwhelmed, and I’m so passionate about helping other ladies do this! I now offer group coaching throughout most of the year–only taking a short break during part of the summer.
You can:
- Sign up for my Trim Healthy Mama interest list here. I email out tips and tricks and/or recipes weekly, and this is also the best way to be notified when I am running a new THM coaching group.
- Read about all of the coaching programs I offer here.
- Read about my signature program, my full, comprehensive 6-week Trim Healthy Mama Basics coaching group here. I run groups in January, April, and August. I also run an advanced group called Trim Healthy Mama Builders as well as 3-week seasonable re-boot challenges three times per year. The best way to be notified of all of these is to sign up for my Trim Healthy Mama interest list, where I send free tips, tricks, and recipes weekly.
Looking for help with meal plans, etc.? Check out the Trim Healthy Mama membership site. Use coupon code EO3570 to get $10 off your membership.
Shopping the Trim Healthy Mama store? I would be over-the-moon grateful if you would shop through my affiliate link.
Bekah Clipperton
Thank you so much for this post! Where you were at before you started trying to lose weight sounds similar to where I’ve been for the past couple years. I also love how your tips are mostly just healthy lifestyle changes rather than extreme dieting and workout plans. I was sort of half-heartedly trying to lose weight this past year, but before I was able to make much progress I found out I was pregnant (which I am absolutely thrilled about)! So obviously my weight loss goals are on hold for right now, but your post has given me some good ideas for eating and living healthy so that hopefully the weight will come off more easily once the baby is born .
On another note, I have several friends who are sold on Trim Healthy Mamma. The biggest thing that has held me back from trying it is that my daughter has egg and dairy allergies, so I feel like I already have to modify our diet so much and adding more rules and modifications sounds totally overwhelming to me. Any chance you would be interested in doing a post about making THM work with food allergies?
Erin
I am so glad you were encouraged by the post, Bekah! We do sound very much alike in this! I have found that extremes just don’t seem to work. I am excited about these lifestyle changes!
A BIG CONGRATS on the pregnancy! That is wonderful news!!
We had to avoid eggs with my oldest for about 4 years, so I know that is SO hard. We are all 5 gluten-free, and we were also dairy-free for a few years, but eggs, by far, were the hardest food for us to work around.
I would say THM can be done with food allergies, but it is, no doubt, more challenging. You would have to be vigilant on eating more meat. I also do eat things that the rest of the family doesn’t. We usually eat the same dinners, but I make something different for breakfast and lunch. I LOVE the new THM cookbook, and it has plenty of choices that take just minutes to cook. There is also a section on subs for dairy-free mamas.
I will consider that post. That is a good idea! Thanks, Bekah!
Cheryl
I love that drinking fluids (water for me) and sleep are part of your recommendations. Baby weight is no joke. My 2 boys are 2 years old and 1 and I don’t even want to click on the link to know my ideal body weight.
Erin
Give yourself plenty of grace, Cheryl! Two babies in two years is a lot!
Susan Ruffalo
Thank you so much timely post!! I have struggles with my weight for years, even before my twins were born. I don’t have littles anymore, but even life with teenagers is so very busy. We have a gym membership, but making myself get there is so very challenging! I signed up for the Fit2b membership! I pray that I can stay disciplined. Thanks for the coupon offer. I see a cancelled gym membership in my future!!
Erin
Wow–twins is a big feat, Susan! Congrats to you! My sister has a set of twins, too–a boy and a girl! They will turn 5 in October!
I hope you love Fit2B. Here is a tip: Start out small and celebrate those little victories! I often will only have time for a 10-15-minute Fit2B workout. Instead of beating myself up that I only worked out 10-15 minutes, I will celebrate that I worked out at all! I know I waste time on Facebook and other social media every day, and if I can just take one of those 15-minutes windows and do a Fit2B video, I am healthier than I was the day before!
Fit2B also has an accountability FB group that I enjoy. It should be somewhere on the site, but if you don’t see it, then I would email them and ask to be added to it.
The Fit2B exercises feel so easy once you get started, but it really does help! Just start small and celebrate that you are doing something rather than nothing! I’m rooting for you!
Lorie
I have heard of THM before, but never really looked too much in to it.
My little girl is almost 3.5 and I have gained quite a bit of weight since I had her. Little did I know it was due to adrenal fatigue until I had gained about 20 lbs in 3 months. Now, about 2 years later, I am another 10-15 lbs heavier. I have NEVER been this heavy in my life, except when I was pregnant. It’s very disheartening. Plus, the adrenal fatigue and diastasis recti…quite the battle.
I know I don’t exercise enough (hard in North Idaho in the winter), but before I found out about the adrenal fatigue I was running 5K’s, 10K’s and a half marathon! So, going to no running and low impact seems weird and hard 🙁
I am taking supplements and using essential oils to help with adrenals and thyroid. I will look in to THM more to see if this would be helpful to me.
Thanks for the information!
Erin
Hi Lorie! I can understand your situation. 🙁 It sounds very similar to me. I am seeing THM help my adrenal fatigue because it’s balancing my blood sugars. It has helped others with AF too. Maybe join the FB group and do some perusing/search “adrenal fatigue” and you can see if this might be something for you to try.
Melissa
Lorie, you probably live near me! (I’m in Spokane Valley.) I also have DR and believe I have AF as well. I’m interested to know who you are seeing for your adrenal fatigue. I’ve had one appointment with a naturopath and did the saliva test and need to go back.
I am a major turtle loser with THM, and I suspect it could be due to my hypothyroidism and AF. I feel so much better eating this way and so it’s worth it, but it’s discouraging not to be losing.
Erin
Melissa, have you tried the turtle plan yet from the new book? I did that one week and it really helped kickstart things. I realized I needed to cut back on nuts and cheese (heavy S) and concentrate on more Deep S meals for my S meals. I also started making more Trimmies. They have MCT oil in them, and that seems to really kick up the metabolism.
Laura
I started Trim Healthy Mama earlier in my pregnancy when I was struggling to gain enough weight. I wanted to gain in a healthy way, and THM crossovers are great for that. I also have a strong family history of diabetes, and I am hoping to avoid developing it myself. I like the focus that THM places on eating real foods as well. Now I’m 37 weeks pregnant and my doctor says my weight gain has been perfect!
Erin
A BIG CONGRATS on your pregnancy, Laura!! I am so glad to hear the crossovers are working well for you! I dream of the day I can eat more crossovers, once I hit goal weight!
Sarah
Discipline! Isn’t that the toughest part? I woul love to hear more about how you are overcoming in that area. It is such a struggle for me. I start out with such great intentions and sooner than later I am back to square one. 🙁
Erin
Hi Sarah! I think it’s just will power, to be honest! I have prayed about it a lot because I saw it as a huge weakness in me, and then when I took the Strengths Finder test, it was like a big eye opener that I needed to really be intentional on working on this area in my life! I am 35 and just realized if I didn’t work on discipline now, I would always feel like I was just spinning my wheels. I have to constantly remind myself that it is the character trait I am trying to refine this year, and it’s working!
Kelly
Hey Erin! I’ve been SUPER interested in THM for about 2 years now, but never gave it a shot. My OB called me, after a first trimester sugar test (I have history of gestational diabetes) and said I am “borderline” already. /sigh Then she hit me with “we need you to go low carb for this pregnancy”, and they’ll test again at 28 weeks to see if we need to take any further measures. My question about THM, is it safe and feasible to include the whole family in this kind of meal plan? I’m 8 weeks pregnant and just don’t have the energy to make separate meals. Was wondering how you handle it with your family? Thanks!!
Erin
Hi Kelly! First of all, congrats on the pregnancy! I had gestational diabetes twice, and I know it’s tough! I hope you can keep your blood sugar stabilized!
It is feasible to include the whole family, and many THMers do it, but, to be honest, I have always eaten different breakfasts and lunches from my kids, for the most part, so I am mainly just doing THM with the whole family for dinners. I got the new cookbook for my birthday in November and perused the recipes well before digging in. The cookbook is really thick and includes a TON of recipes (almost 400 I think!) for dinners (crock pot meals, skillet meals, baked meals, etc!), salads, breakfasts, desserts, quick lunch ideas, even homemade condiments!
So that said, it is possible to do it with the whole family but I still feel my kids non-THM stuff (like GF bread, pretzels, veggie chips, etc.).
Aimee
I relate to this so much – I was a skinny bride but not healthy. Having children (and needing to lose weight) was a wonderful motivation in becoming a healthier person. Learning about nutrition (including the fact that I am gluten intolerant), exercising regularly, etc. has been a wonderful journey. I feel so much stronger and healthier now at 35 than I did at 25.
Erin
Thanks for sharing your story, Aimee! I can definitely relate! Our stories sound very similar!
Andrea
This post comes at a great time for me. My youngest is turning 2 this week and I am no longer going to use the excuse “baby weight”! Your story is so easy to relate to and this mama plan sounds like what I need. I need something managable and real, not a get slim quick plan. Thank you Erin for this and I look forward to your updates. Cheers!
Erin
I’m so glad you were encouraged! I am seeing some great results!! I feel like this is a way of eating I can enjoy for the long haul!
Helen
Are there any TRULY healthy weight calculators? Your link says I should be 135 at 5’7″ – which, I was 155 at my wedding and almost too thin. Yikes! I shouldn’t worry anyway, I have a long way to go 😉
Erin
Helen, I know–right?!