How I Stopped Blaming the Baby & Started Losing Weight

Inside: I FINALLY stopped blaming my baby for my weight gain, and I started losing weight! Here’s how you can finally get rid of the baby weight too! 

My “baby” is 3 1/2 years old. For 3 1/2 years now, I’ve been telling myself that I just “hadn’t lost the baby weight.”

Finally, toward the end of 2015, I realized that I could no longer blame the baby for my lack of weight loss. 

I had to do something about it myself if I ever wanted to start losing weight.

Since January, I have lost 15 pounds and counting. I’m losing at a rate of 1.5 pounds per week.

One half pound to 2 pounds per week is a very safe rate at which to lose weight, and I feel confident that losing weight in the slow and steady pace at which I am is more likely to help me keep it off in the long-term.

One of the keys in starting to lose weight was admitting to myself that I am to blame for this weight gain and not my baby.

There are 3 key reasons why it took me more than 3 years to get close to my pre-pregnancy weight, and none of them had to do with my children! 

1. I was not eating intentionally. 

Even though I am not obese, at the beginning of this weight loss journey, I was not at a healthy weight. That might confuse some people because I do eat healthy compared to the Standard American Diet.

I haven’t drank soft drinks in nearly 20 years.

I very rarely eat processed foods. I snack on fruits, veggies, nuts, and cheese.

I’ve even been gluten-free since 2011, and I cook from scratch for our family.

But I had not been mindful about the way I had been eating.

I realized that I was not eating the correct foods together. 

My meals were not centered in protein.

I was not drinking enough water.

And, perhaps most self-sabotaging, I was not making sure I ate when I was hungry. I would go hours and hours without eating, so when I did eat, I would eat too much food to satisfy my hunger.

Simply put, I was not being intentional about the way I ate. 

Related: My Wedding Ring Doesn’t Fit (and Other Confessions)

2. I had gained more weight since my youngest was born. 

The fact that–more than three years after giving birth–I had been the largest I’ve ever been in my life bothered me so much that I chose not to weigh myself. The only way I knew I had not lost the baby weight was how my clothes were fitting.

Worst of all, I could not wear my wedding ring for several months because I had gained weight.

So when I did finally weigh myself when my child was nearly 3 1/2 years old, I realized I actually weighed more than I did after our youngest daughter was born back in 2012!

I did an exercise challenge on my blog back when she was an infant. I had published how much weight I was losing at the time. Recently, I stumbled upon a post from that time and I weighed less then than when I started losing weight again when she was 3 1/2! 

I realized right then and there that I could no longer blame the baby for my weight gain.

3. I was not very active. 

To be transparent, I was living a pretty sedentary life. I’m not changing diapers or chasing toddlers around anymore. At this writing, my girls can mostly dress themselves because they are 3 1/2, 5 1/2, and 7 1/2.

Because I work at home and run a blog, during my work time I am sitting in front of a computer, which is the complete opposite of how I spent my work time as a traveling ESL teacher before I had my children. Then, I was on the move constantly!

Now, by this point, you’re probably wondering just how I am losing weight! Check out these:

6 Reasons Why I Am Finally Losing Weight 

1. I got a realistic view of a healthy weight.

I was a normal weight during my early life. Then, in my 20s, I was underweight because I became very ill with mono when I was 24, lost 15 pounds, and it kicked up my metabolism to unhealthy high levels.

I am a hair shy of 5’6″ and on my wedding day I weighed 103 pounds. I am not trying to get down to my wedding weight. That was much too thin for my height and frame. 

I don’t need to be that thin again. When I look back, I probably wasn’t healthy. I was not eating healthy foods. Instead, I was eating low-fat, processed foods that had lots of added sugar.

I don’t like talking about numbers because healthy is different for everyone. Look at online charts and talk to your doctor to determine what is a healthy weight for you.

To get you started, check out this ideal weight calculator and adult BMI calculator. They will help you strive for healthy goals. Based on these, I was overweight when I began this journey in January 2016, and I am now at the top end of healthy ranges. I would like to lose another 10 to 15 pounds and stop there.

2. I started following the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan. 

In January 2016, I started following the Trim Healthy Mama plan. I had tried this plan in the past when the first (600-page!) Trim Healthy Mama book came out, around the time my 3rd child was born. However,  I sadly didn’t fully grasp the plan even after studying the book, and I fell into bad eating habits.

When the newer plan book came out in 2015, I heard it was easier to understand and follow. I was excited to read it, and I agree that the way the plan is laid out in this book is much easier to follow!

Trim Healthy Mama is a sugar-free, low-glycemic plan based around eating whole foods.

In a nutshell, every meal is centered around protein.

There are satisfying meals that are fat-heavy and include healthy fats, like avocados, coconut oil, and extra virgin olive oil. Then, there are energizing meals that include healthy carbs, like sweet potatoes, quinoa, brown rice, and oats.

The key is that you don’t combine both healthy fats and healthy carbs in the same meal and you separate each meal by three hours.

If you eat both healthy fats and healthy carbs in the same meal, you may gain weight–even though they are healthy foods! 

Why?

If your metabolism is sluggish (like mine was), your body will burn through the glucose first in the healthy carb meals and will not be able to burn through the fat as well. It will pack on the fat.

So, if you separate the fats and carbs, your body can more effectively burn both.

Related: Low-Carb Pasta Alternatives You’ll Actually Love

The healthy fat (or “S” for “satisfying”) meals are very similar to what meals look like on a paleo diet, keto, or the Whole 30. Even though I did the Whole 30 as a short detox back in 2014, I don’t believe it should be a way of life.

Our bodies need healthy carbs! Especially for those of us who are prone to adrenal fatigue or thyroid issues (raising my hand!), it is vital that we fuel our bodies with both fats and carbs. 

Millions of women around the world have changed their lives through the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan. You can join their Facebook group here to see testimonials.

I had been a lurker and a dabbler of THM for several years, and I’m glad I finally bit the bullet and dove in because I’ve never felt better about the way I’m eating.

But giving up sugar?! That doesn’t sound like fun!

It actually can be, and, before long, I promise you will start to see your sugar cravings diminish.

Although THM is a sugar-free eating plan, that doesn’t mean there are no sweets!

In fact, if you search Pinterest, you will find thousands of Trim Healthy Mama-approved dessert recipes, and you’ll even find my homemade protein packed peanut butter cups right here on this blog!

(You can follow my Trim Healthy Mama Pinterest board here.) 

Related: Homemade Protein-Packed Peanut Butter Cups {THM S}

If you are interested in trying out Trim Heathy Mama, I highly recommend getting and reading the plan book and one of the cookbooks. There are nearly 400 recipes in the first cookbook, and I use it every day!

The plan book has been revised and updated from the original plan book published back in 2012 (just a week after my third daughter was born!). While the original plan book is a treasure trove of information (and I recommend those further along in their journeys to read it to glean all kinds of wisdom), reading the updated plan book really helped me get a good grasp on how the plan works.

One reason this plan appealed to me so much is that I am high risk for type 2 diabetes. My sister has type 1, my father has type 2, I have two first cousins with type 1, my grandparents had type 2, I had gestational diabetes in several of my pregnancies, I am over age 35…OK, you get the drift!

My thought pattern is this: Either I nourish my body with a low-glycemic way of eating now, or I medicate my body with insulin injections later. 

Let that sink in for a minute.

Yes, friends, this healthy eating journey is about much more than just losing weight! 

3. I am getting more sleep. 

I have learned that lack of sleep can actually make you gain weight.

Sleep is how our body renews itself. If I go to bed past midnight, it will take me a week to recover. I used to not be this way.

While nourishing my body with good food, I have learned that I also need to nourish my body with good sleep. Two books that address sleep’s impact on health that changed the trajectory of my sleep health are The Adrenal Reset Diet and Sleep Smarter. I highly recommend both of these books!

Related: My Plan for Adrenal Fatigue Recovery

4. I am drinking more liquids. 

I have been a coffee drinker since my firstborn was six months old, but I only drink it in the mornings.

Before, I would go hours and realize it was noon and I hadn’t drank anything else all day!

I am trying to be more mindful about always having a glass of water beside me wherever I am, and I can see that this is paying off! 

5. I am doing low-impact exercises. 

Intense exercise is not good for my body with my history of mono and adrenal fatigue.

High-intensity exercise, like what you find in bootcamps, etc. can be horrible for your adrenals because of the way it spikes cortisol levels. In fact, this extra stress of high intensity exercise can actually make your body hold onto weight!

Right now, I am exercising 15 to 20 minutes a day, three to four days per week.

Instead of bootcamps and hours-long exercise sprints, I am focusing on three different ways to add a little exercise into my healthy living routine:

 Bonus: As a bonus for signing up for my weekly newsletter list, I’ll send you my free mini course: “How I Stopped Blaming the Baby & Started Losing Weight.” Sign up here.

I’m using my Fit2B Membership. 

At this update in 2022, I’ve had a Fit2B membership for about 9 years. While I’ve always loved it and was drawn to this program because it’s tummy-safe, I really fell off the bandwagon several times and have gone long periods without using my membership at all.

There are many reasons why I love Fit2B, but the fact that many of the routines are only 10-15 minutes long has been a godsend during busy seasons of my life.

I’m a firm believer in some exercise being better than no exercise, and it has helped me to exercise more knowing I could easily fit in one of these short routines. Obviously, I would see more results if I exercised for longer, but right now I am celebrating little victories, with the goal of adding in more exercise as I continue to lose weight.

Fit2B‘s routines are mostly low-impact aerobics, pilates, and non-spiritual yoga. The owner, Beth, is a Christian, and she is so much fun! She has a huge heart for women and sees her online fitness studio as a ministry.

I’m walking.

I love to put in a podcast or audio book and walk the neighborhood during the warmer months.

I’m riding my bicycle.

My husband and girls gave me a new bike for Mother’s Day one year, and I love it so much! I enjoy riding it around my neighborhood.

6. I am being more disciplined. 

I am not naturally a disciplined person. When I took the Strengths Finder test a few years ago, my lowest strength was discipline.

It takes discipline to follow Trim Healthy Mama, go to bed early, drink more liquids, and exercise.

I am focusing on discipline to make all the other pieces come together to get healthier, lose excess weight, and prevent disease in the future.

What positive changes are you making to improve your health? What are your best tips for losing weight?