Are you confused as how to get your kids started with chores? Do you pay them or not? What is the best way to teach kids responsibility at home? We’re excited to share a chore system for young kids that works for our family!
By Will and Erin Odom
Like many areas in our marriage, we were brought up differently, especially when it came to responsibilities in the home.
As a child, Will had to do chores regularly, but Erin really never had to do many, if any, chores at all.
As we started having children, we knew we wanted them to have responsibilities around the house for many reasons:
- encourage a sense of ownership
- teach them responsibility
- have them help with family duties
- foster a strong work ethic
- further an appreciation for our home
- give them real-life skills (i.e. cooking, cleaning and finances)
- cultivate a giving heart
But we really had no idea what that would look like.
We tried several different systems, and nothing seemed to work well.
We had the Melissa and Doug Responsibility Chart, and it worked for a while. While we liked the idea, but it just wasn’t fitting our needs.
We began talking to other friends and discussing what they do with their children.
After several trial-and-error attempts, some good friends led us to a system that we have been implementing with success:
A Chore System for Young Kids That Works
Part of the Family – Non-paid Responsibilities
There are certain responsibilities that deal with the basic upkeep of our home that our children must complete simply because they are a part of our family.
We want them to know that we are all in this together and have to work together to make this function.
These include: tidying their room, putting away their toys, cleaning up the playroom, and doing several other things for which they do not earn money.
We want them to learn that they will not always be compensated for everything and that they will need to learn to do some things just because they need to done, and it’s the right thing to do.
This creates a work ethic in them that will help them in the future.
Payment Plan – Paid Responsibilities
There are other items that they do daily and throughout the week that they get paid for doing.
They don’t always like doing the work, but they are starting to understand that if they push through, they will be rewarded for their efforts.
They also need to do their chores with a happy heart and without one of us telling them over and over again to do them.
We started small, with just one paid chore, and we have added a new item each week to help them get used to it and build a routine.
We began with after-dinner clean-up.
Our oldest (age 7) started with mopping the floor. The middle (age 5) sprayed and wiped the table after dinner. Our youngest (age 3) used the handheld vacuum to clean up crumbs under the table.
The following week we added another responsibility.
Our oldest had to get drinks for everyone at dinner. The middle had to set the table. The youngest helped Mommy load the dishwasher.
We will continue adding responsibilities. Some will stay the same, while others may change from week to week.
Eventually, they may not be paid for some of these tasks as they may move into the realm of “doing it because you are part of the family.”
If they do these tasks every day from Monday through Saturday, they will get a set amount for each task. If they refuse to do a chore one day, then they get no payment for that item at the end of the week.
For example, if one of the kids has two items to be performed daily, like mopping and unloading the dishwasher, she must do those tasks everyday. If she refuses to mop one day yet still unloads the dishwasher everyday, then she will only get paid for unloading the dishwasher at the end of the week.
(This amount can vary per each family’s budget, but we suggest starting out with a lower number.)
To continue to develop their work ethic, they also have other items that they can chose from to earn extra. They pick the task to get whatever money is attached. They are all either $1 or $2.
Of course, this could be adjusted depending on the task or what you are comfortable with paying.
We also encourage them to approach us with ideas to earn money because we want to further their entrepreneurial spirit.
Again, some of these things will change. For example, the vacuuming could move from a paid task to a non-paid task as they get older and take on more responsibility.
It also worth mentioning that, when the kids do these tasks, they are obviously not done to perfection. The goal is to promote a work ethic in them and teach them certain skills. They are just learning and need time.
So when things are not done exactly like you think they should be, remember to be patient. Teach them how to do the job and then let them do it.
Encourage them on a job well done. If they missed something, then show them how to fix it. However, there will be times when you just need to offer praise and hit the spots they missed.
There are many ways to handle chores using charts, choice sticks or cards, etc. The key is to find a simple system that works for your family and is convenient.
If it’s too much work on your part to keep up, then it probably will not happen.
Save-Spend-Share
We also want to teach our children to be responsible with their money. We created save-spend-share jars for them to split their earnings into those categories.
This helps decrease entitlement issues, and they value their possessions more when they put their hard-earned money on the counter.
If they break something of theirs or ours, they will have to pay to replace it.
Also, if they lose out on an opportunity that Mom and Dad have already paid for, such as a $10 art lesson or $7 gymnastics class, they have to pay us for our lost money as well.
If they want to buy something and it’s not near their birthdays or Christmas, then they will need to use their money. This teaches them how to set goals and spend their money wisely.
We have already seen this in my oldest daughter who wants to save her money to buy a particular doll or piece of clothing. However, she used $4.00 the other day to buy a hot chocolate. Later, she realized that she now had $4 less toward her goal.
These are great discussions for us. It’s not wrong to buy the hot chocolate, but does she want that more than the doll? Did she really think it through or make an impulse buy?
That’s not to say that we don’t buy them hot chocolate or ice cream or whatever, but we want them to learn the value of saving and spending.
We want our children to learn these lessons now instead of making a thousand-dollar mistake later.
This save-spend-share system also produces more opportunities for them to give. They can buy gifts for their sisters and friends, give to our church, help other people, and add to our Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes.
While Will made the jars for the girls, there are some other great alternatives as well. Our youngest is using the Moonjar Moneybox right now since she doesn’t earn as much.
We also really love these Give-Save-Spend Wallets from ATime4Everything on Etsy. They are so adorable and functional. Our kids actually carry theirs with them all the time.
Other options include:
- Stephen Johnson Owl or Zoo banks
- Money Savvy Pig or Cow or Football
- My Giving Bank
- Give, Save, Spend envelopes
- clear zipper pouch
We would also highly recommend the Financial Peace Junior Kit from Dave Ramsey. It includes a commission chart as well as a curriculum to teach your kids how to start managing money at an early age.
If you are looking for some age-appropriate chore lists, The Modest Mom Blog has a great printable list, and Money Saving Mom has a few that could be helpful:
Remember that these lists are suggestions and should be tailored to fit your child at their level.
Hannah
We started doing a “Mickey ear” system. It started before our trip as a way to earn extra money to spend at disney and it has continued after. Basically there is a list of chores and each one has a different Mickey ear value. The Mickey ears are just little papers with a picture of Mickey ears on them. There is also a trade in list. Like four equal on dollar or they can trade them in for different things like a date night with a parent. They seem to like it 🙂
Will
That’s a neat idea. I like the trading it in for a date night with mom or dad.
Erin
That sounds like a really fun way to get them excited about the trip too!
Jana Curriw
I really like the three jar idea! What a great way to teach kids how to save and spend responsibly. I wish my parents had taught me that when I was a kid. I do have some questions, though. Have you come across a situation where the extrinsic reward for chores fails to become an intrinsic one? My children are only 6 and 2, so they are happy enough to do chores whether I pay them or not, but I’m worried that as they get older they’ll expect more money for the completion of each chore. And what happens when they’re old enough to get they’re own jobs? Can I still expect them to help out around the house even though I can’t pay them as much as their real job? I read that you suggest that as the kids grow, some chores (e.g. vacuuming) can be dropped from the paid list, but how do you explain that transition to kids? Sorry for the all the questions, I just never got an allowance when I was growing up, so I don’t know how all this stuff works.
Erin
Jana, I don’t know that we have answers for everything. We are kind of figuring some of this our as we along…haha. It may not work out like we want it to.
Being paid is obviously an extrinsic motivation, but we get paid for our jobs, and part of their job is helping clean. There are still many things that they do that they don’t get paid for.
As they get their own jobs, I’m not sure how we will handle chores. Regardless, I would still complete expect them to help out in the house because they are still a part of our family, and that is just what we do as a family. Everyone helps whether you get paid for it or not.
Jana Currie
Thank you for you kind reply. It makes sense to expect kids to help out in the house as part of family responsibility. It also makes sense that your paid model replicates our economic understanding. I love reading your blog! Keep up the great writing!
Erin
Thanks so much, Jana!
Sandi
Something we do (we have a 5-year-old) is to have uncompleted “responsibility” non-paid chores count against completed paid chores. (Paid chores are important, but not vital, ie, we as parents don’t always do them so it’s unfair to make her do them as part of her responsibility, such as “put laundry away on a timely basis.”
So, let’s say she completes 10 paid chores, but only 2 responsibility chores. She only gets paid for 8 paid chores. We unfortunately run up against the importance of doing chores simply because we are part of a family, but she seems to be very list-oriented, so missing things and not getting a full allowance bothers her.
Erin
That’s a great idea, Sandi!! Thanks for sharing that tip!
tanya
i love the share, save , spend jars! I have been wanting to do that for awhile now. Thanks for the cool printable my son is 6 and has started to do chores but need some kind of a system for keeping track.
Erin
Thanks, Tanya! I hope the printable helps!
Christina @ Martha, Martha
I’ve tried many systems over the years. They usually work great for a little while and then trail off. I think adapting to your family’s current situation is key! I LOVE that you have required jobs and bonus jobs. That’s a great way to build work ethic.
Erin
We sure hope it will! I definitely think adapting to each season is so important!!
Keelie Reason
It is so important for kids to be a part of the chores around the house. I have always had my boys be a part of the chores. When they were really little, I had them help clean up their toys. It has grown from there. All my boys have chores everyday and almost always have. It is very good to let them be a part of keeping the home clean.
Erin
It sounds like you are such a great mom, Keelie!! Can we arrange a marriage with your boys and my girls?! LOL!!!
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life
My boys are getting more and more into LEGOs and are always talking about wanting to save money to buy new sets. I have been wanting to give them more opportunities to earn money to learn to save and have the reward of hard work. Thank you for some great ideas. I need to get started!
I also had an idea to let my eldest make some child wallets to sell. I have a tutorial on my blog for them and he’s made them a few times before. My husband is reading Where The Red Fern Grows to my boys and in the story the boy earns money and saves up fifty dollars for two hunting dogs. It has led to good conversations about earning money and saving for a long time (it took 2 years in the story). So I think giving him an outlet of things to make and sell is a good connection/lesson. I am just unsure of the best place for him to sell them. Any ideas?
Erin
That is so neat that he is making something to sell! If it were me, I might put a little page up on my site to sell them! Or, you can check out Etsy? My girls love LEGOS, too!! Thanks for sharing!
Wells
This is an awesome system, Erin and Will, good tips! I am hoping I will soon have the wiggle room to pay mine a little bit for their contributions in our home, as they do quite a LOT! I like the idea of requiring them to pay for something broken, too, and not “coddling” them, as it were. Yours are sure to grow up super responsible! Great post!
Erin
Thank you, Wells! We hope this will help!
Mindy Jollie
Love this! You definitely are teaching your kids valuable lessons the right way! Thanks for sharing.
Erin
Thank you, Mindy!
Katie Rayburn
Great ideas. Question: if one child neglects one of her chores on Tuesday and knows she has already given up her pay for the week, how do you motivate her to continue the job wed-sat?
Erin
At this point, our girls are young enough that we basically make sure they do the chores. They don’t have another choice that this point. But that is a really good question and something we need to think about!!
Will Odom
Katie,
I would say that it is just one of those things that they have to do regardless. They have to do the chore whether they get paid for it or not, so they will eventually learn that if they are going to do it anyway, they might as well get paid for it.
Katie Bennett
This is awesome! I’m printing it now! Thank you for coming up with a simple and straightforward solution!
Sabrina
Thank you for writing and posting this! It will help. One thing though… The one for the 7-yr-old chart goes to the 4yo chart. (The 4yo chart is correct, as is the Toddler.)
Will O
Thanks Sabrina. It should be fixed now.
Amelya
Great idea we have tried “everything” my daughter didn’t respond well with money so chores wouldn’t happen regularly. I was getting concerned I couldn’t find things to motivate her and then I was having a problem with my older 2 and screen time. So I tried a method using popcycle sticks one side has chores the other a appropriate amount of screen time to earn. This has been amazing!!! Not only do they want to do their chores and are asking me. The arnt on their computers or in front of the tv much at all. When they are on their computers I don’t feel bad because they’ve earned it.
Mrs Schwend
My children had always done a daily chore. I just called them responsibilities. When my husband and I blended our families my children still did a responsibility after school each day. I had a chart so there was never a question. His children lived with us and they did not have any. Before you think, “what????” if you you have never blended a family, just know it’s a lot of give take and learn as you go. Anyway, one day one of them piped up and asked why they didn’t have any. My the ten year old said, “you can have mine!” There’s always a clown in the mix. Lol. So we sat down and redid our chart. Monday through Friday. Everyone had one thing to do each day. Boys and girls alike! The child who filled the wood box also got to sit in the front seat of the car on their “wood” day. (that fixed that fight and made “wood” day more bearable). If you forgot your responsibility you had opportunity do it for a week on top of your daily chore. (That got the tattling to stop and made the one who forgot accountable) the older kids had sports so they had to plead for a sibling to take their responsibility if they had a game or meet. If they asked dad or I we often traded one of our responsibilities, I always loved to get my car cleaned out! ???? This usually gave dad and I to show another responsibility we as parents had. Often they traded days with siblings, sounds like real life huh? I wrote in the chart if they forgot they would have “opportunity” to do it for a week. It is opportunity to have consequences. Sometime pleasant, sometimes not so pleasant. These were not things you got paid for. They were because were a family and we support each other. We did give what I called “quarter chores”. Vaccum a room, sweep the bathroom, fold dish towels, line shoes up buff daddy’s work boots was the little kids favorite. Then if you were an older child you could vaccum four rooms and have a dollar. That helped them choose how much they wanted to earn. Every day we made our beds picked up everything off the floor and dirty clothes on the basket for mom to do laundry. We referred to those as the “three” things. I have seven hardworking responsible young people. They know how to take responsibility, be orderly and do a job well. It was never a do this or trouble. Daddy and Mommy had responsibilities everyday and they understood that. Everyone working together. Everyone being valued and being proud of themselves. Thanks for letting me share.
Chelsea
I’ve subscribed for the chore chart with two different emails because nothing has come to my inbox or Spam folder. This is the only one that I’ve found that I like. Would you please send privately if this is still available? This is wk 3 of COVID lock down for us and I am desperate for a little bit of help organizing our days!!