Healthy YouHave you ever struggled with depression? Perhaps you’re in a season now where life feels bleak and hopeless. I’ve been there, and I can tell you there is hope for the mom who feels depressed.
Guest post by Jessica of “Smartter” Each Day
Have you ever struggled with depression? Perhaps you’re in a season now where life feels bleak and hopeless.
I never thought of myself as someone who’d feel depressed. I’m usually happy, busy, and enjoying life in one way or another.
Yet I did go through a very difficult time. If you can relate, you’d agree that depression and anxiety are two of the most horrible, isolating, agonizing things someone can deal with.
You feel so alone. No one gets it. Life drags on. Everyday joy and peace is gone. You feel exhausted, and even sick. It feels like things will never get better.
If you are battling depression, my heart goes out to you.
I’m not a counselor. I’m not a therapist, or a doctor, or even an expert. Me? I’m just a plain old mom — a mom who has spent my share of nap times crumpled on the floor, crying over nothing and everything, wondering what in the world has happened to me.
I can’t tell you the magic cure. I can’t offer all the clinical steps to recovery. But I’ve been there, and I can tell you what I’ve learned.
Many, many moms have battled depression at some point.
It feels like you’re the only one, doesn’t it? Those neighbors, those ladies from church, those people on Facebook…they all seem to have it together, don’t they? You wonder how you’re the only one who’s such a wreck. Well, here’s a little secret…You’re not the only one. I promise you’re not.
Have you heard the saying that’s been floating around…Don’t compare your “behind the scenes” to somebody else’s highlight reel?
You don’t know their stories. You can’t possibly see their futures. And if you did, or you could…you’d be surprised. We all have something.
Take a deep breath. You’re not the only one.
Depression can feel like so many things.
- It can feel like anxiety.
- It can feel like you’re so tired, you could sleep forever.
- It can feel like you just can’t cry
- It can feel like hypochondria, that you’re dying of everything. (Oh, don’t laugh! I’ve been there!)
- It can feel like you just can’t make oatmeal one more morning.
Sometimes there are hidden causes for depression.
For me, depression was actually a result of anxiety that had spiraled completely out of control. Sometimes hormonal irregularities or medications can cause depression (the birth control pill was horrible for me!)
And can I tell you another one? Lack of sleep causes depression.
Sweet mom of little ones, when you battle those endless days and endless nights, and life is such a fog that you can’t tell which side is up…depression comes so easily. If it seems like a cop-out answer, it’s not! My mom always reminds me that sleep deprivation is a military torture technique for a reason! Maybe your life’s circumstances have been very difficult. Maybe your mental strength is just gone.
No need to add guilt — that ever-present “Mommy guilt” — to the load of depression.
It’s not your fault, sweet friend.
Things might have to get worse before they get better.
It hurts to heal. It hurts to admit you have a problem. It hurts to ask for help, to go see a doctor or a counselor. It’s embarrassing to do what it takes to get better.
I remember my turning point.
I was on the phone with my mom, crying about something. She’s never yelled at me. She is never harsh. But she had had enough. Jessica, I’m so sorry your life is so awful! You have two wonderful little boys, and a great husband and a great life, and I’m just sorry you’re so miserable! I have no idea what to say to you anymore.
Somehow seeing her so frustrated — seeing how she saw me — it all clicked. I knew right that moment that I needed (and wanted) help. I didn’t care what it cost me. I didn’t care who I had to talk to. I didn’t care if I had to take medicine, or see a counselor, or what I had to do. I needed help.
And don’t worry. You will get better.
In the pit of anxiety or depression, it feels like you will never be happy again. Your old self seems so long-gone and far away.
I’m here to tell you, there is hope.
I thought I’d never get better, and now, it’s a distant shadow. Praise the Lord, I’m my old self again.
You’ll come out of this, too.
I’d like to think that if I start feeling depressed again, I’ll do it differently next time. I’d like to think…
- I’ll get help sooner. I’ll see my doctor, and start going to a counselor.
- I won’t add guilt to the load. I’ll remind myself that everyone struggles with something.
- I’ll begin exercising…even though it will feel like a burden. Because it helps. It really does.
- I’ll try to find something to get excited about. It might be a birthday party, a new wardrobe, an event I’m planning, someone to help.
- I’ll remember that motherhood is really, really hard — and cut myself some slack if I have difficult days (or months).
- I’ll search for the good in the struggle. Because there is a blessing to be found.
Have you struggled with depression? What other help would you offer to someone who’s struggling?
If you are battling postpartum depression in particular, here are some posts just for you:
Hope for the Christian Mother with Postpartum Depression
Exiting the Darkness: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression
Postpartum Depression: 5 Ways to Beat the Baby Blues Naturally
Jessica Smartt is a former English teacher, husband to a Mr. Fix-It-All, and a mom of two boys with a girl on the way! She is a resident expert on anxiety, can make 1001 allergy-friendly meals, and loves finding humor in everyday life. You find her at “Smartter” Each Day.
Audrey-Jo
Thank you for this post! I had postpartum depression with my first son (2 years old). I now have a 3 month old little boy and while I don’t believe I have postpartum depression again or at least not to the extreme it was with my first, I still battle with some sort of depression. This was an uplifting post. I know I’m not alone, but I feels good to read that! I agree exercise helps (as much as I hate it). I find just getting outside for a little bit really helps, I let my 2 year old play and I can just sit in the sun and enjoy him playing and relaxing outside. It’s tough but forcing myself to do one thing so I feel accomplished and sometimes that leads to more. What I try to do is give myself a break and permission to do something fun for myself or with the kids and forget the ‘should be doings’.
Nancy
For me taking magnesium seems to help. My hubby takes a mineral supplement to help with muscle cramps. I read that if you have anxiety you might have a magnesium deficiency. I started taking the minerals (includes mag.) to see if I’d see a difference and it seems to help a lot! When I don’t take it I wake up in the morning feeling anxious for no particular reason….even before I open my eyes.
Amanda
Yes! Magnesium oil has seriously completely changed things for me! I was in such a bad place and didn’t known what to do. I started replacing my deodorant with magnesium oil spray and an immune strength essential oil blend and I can’t not say enough how huge of a difference it made for me. I am out of the fog, not angry at everyone, I have motivation to do things. I highly recommend giving it a chance. It did take a week or two to really notice the difference but it has been amazing!
Sheryl
Where did you get the mag spray? And why did you replace your deoderant for it? Which essential oil blend? I ask because I have genetic depression and thought maybe I should try something different.
Amanda
I got the mag oil from our local health food store but you can get it online too. http://m.vitaminshoppe.com/mobile/store/en/browse/sku_detail.jsp?id=LY-7102 I realized I was having hormone issues because I had bad BO. I would use men’s deodorant and still have problems and then I’ve read about the aluminum and other ingredients in regular deodorant and wanted something else. I also read a blog post from someone talking about how they only use mag oil as a deodorant so that is why I tried it. I use an EO called immune strength from Native American Nutritionals in a carrier oil like almond, apricot, or coconut oil. The mag oil leveled out my hormones and helped with the smell and the essential oil has really boosted my immune system and smells delicious. You can use the mag oil anywhere but the underarms are very absorbant. Hope this helps!
Stephanie
Thx for this info!i have been struggling w some depression and as a stay at home mom w my 2yrold daughter I would love to get myself under control so she does not have to suffer too. I’ll def give this a try.
Sarah cooper
Sweet mama out there who might deal with severe depression , my advice would be that sometimes it’s ok to take medication . I actullay could not even take care of my own children or myself. I couldn’t eat ,sleep , drive a car let alone shower and dress . I never thought that would happen to me in a million years …… But it did . And The Lord used it in mighty ways to change my heart , humble me and have me learn to show grace to others and receive grace from others , and most of all realize that God is always there and really does love me unconditionally . It’s ok to admit that you are hurting and that you don’t have it all together 🙂
Jenny
Yes. Yes. Yes. Being afraid if medication can be part of the illness. Meds should be at least part of plan B for getting well (if not plan A) and you should talk with someone who sees you every day about the concrete signs (or time period) that would trigger plan B. Meds can save your life, if you let them.
Melissa
Do you think that taking meds is like giving up on The Lord? I started taking medication for my depression and now I feel guilty that maybe I gave up on The Lord trying to help me.
Maria
I think the Lord has made doctors and researchers smart enough to develop the meds so he won’t feel let down if you give them a try.
lesa
Thanks for a beautiful post.. 🙂
SO helpful to so many young moms.. well done.
I have to add to.. going out & doing for others helps too. even tho you are at your wits end.. sending a card to an elderly person/ friend , can make all the difference.
of course prayer & if the words won’t come. SING your fav. hymn.. ( this is the day that the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice & be glad in it ! , (my song 🙂
Also , your words of wisdom work well for an older mom & grandmom that perhaps is going through menopause…
Depression , anxiety can be overcome. Praise the Lord ! 🙂
Melissa
Two simple words for an article that comes during the depth of my depression: thank you.
Sarah @ The Gospel at Home
Thank you, Amanda! It is so good that women are speaking out about something that affects more women than we know. I suffered from postnatal-anxiety last year with my first child and it was awful. In fact, this Mother’s Day marks the point where I was at my lowest. It was only medication that got me out of it and I am so thankful God used it to be the way I was able to come out of that anxious darkness — it’s opened so many conversations with other mum’s and women. I don’t think we know how many women go on medication, but it’s such a “taboo” topic amongst Christians. Like, we’re not relying on God enough. But if we had epilepsy or diabetes, we would take medication so I see mental health issues on the same level.
lesa
I went on meds after menopause.. I don’t think I could have done it w/o them.
BUT I didn’t want to stay on them either.. not that there weren’t ‘bad’ days here & there, but I think I relied on friends & family a lot more & let my hubs know when it was a bad day 🙂
Don’t think for ONE Minute Jesus isn’t big enough to handle it . HE can & WILL ! never underestimate prayer !
Most Christians don’t put down those that need meds. I certainly haven’t . & Have family that continues too need meds.
One thing I did was give myself was permission to have a bad time or a bad day.
Cry if I needed too.
then , GOT UP , dusted myself off & headed out side. there is something magical / Godly about the great outdoors . Go for a walk.. stop by a store & buy your fav magazine. or candy bar 🙂 get involved in a bible study at Church.. volunteer to do nursery or help with VBS .
call a friend & say.. lets go to the playground. SOMETHING.
DO . do for others, take the time to call a grandma or aunt.. perhaps they too have been through it. find out.
I know from experience that it works ! I will add you to my prayer list hun.. I feel for you I REALLY DO..
May our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ be with you today ..Sarah 🙂
Kimmybeth
I am currently dealing with depression. I am actually weaning myself off of my medication. I hate how it made me feel when I’d inevitably forget a dose or two. (Gastrointestinal issues, constant dizziness, constant nausea those were the worst for me.)
I’ve since found that I’ve had a few good days where I feel a bit more like my “old self.” I just pray to God that He leads me there the rest of the way & out of this depressive fog where I feel like sleeping life away.
Thank you for this encouraging post.
Mollie
Thank you so much! This post was amazing and I too have struggled in the past. It helps when more of us step forward and take the stigma away. Real friends and family will stick by you!
Nikki
As I read this I am battling deep depression for the second time in my life… and the biggest lesson I learned the first time, and the only way I make it though the day sometimes, is knowing (and repeating) this: I Can’t. God Can. Let Him. It was a total fluke I found this post online tonight, but I believe there is always a reason ~ so I want to thank you all for reminding me that I really am not alone, I am not the only one that deals with this. God’s Peace!
Julie
I love that mantra, thank you!
Sending hugs 🙂
Charyse
I struggled with depression for twenty years…since I was 8 years old. In the last two years, God has gotten a hold of me…showed me that depression and anxiety was simply lies from the devil…since the Holy Spirit was inside of me, I had the power to claim healing in Jesus’ name and order the evil one away. I have not struggled with fear or depression since.
Now I’m not saying I never feel sad or tired or worried. Those are human emotions but they are not meant to be ongoing feelings. I’m also not saying those who struggle should avoid medication or counseling. I have done all of that while praying for healing. God put some amazing people and resources in my path to lead me to healing. If you struggle with anxiety and depression I recommend The Bondage Breaker; this book was fantastic. Also, Strengthening Yourself In The Lord is awesome!
Praying now for those who are reading this in the bondage of anxiety and depression!
Jennifer
Hello, I had severe PPD/anxiety after my first child. I was terrified and it was so hard to go from being so happy to have a baby to feeling like I was going to die. I actually ended up in a psych ward for a weekend and was put on lots of psych meds. I really feel for anyone who goes though mental health struggles. God has abundant mercy for you.
On a practical note, The Mood Cure and the clinic the author runs was an answer to my prayers. I found out that I had very low key mental health nutrients, especially zinc, and if I keep those high, I feel normal. I have something called pyroluria that is easily fixed with vitamins and stress management. Counseling helped too. I was constantly pushing myself too hard and then getting stuck in these exhaustion/depression cycles. I also had to learn to not feel guilty about self care and my limitations. Really focusing on God’s love and Jesus’ rest for me helps me a lot as well when I start to feel the need to perform.
Do whatever you need to do. (Part of it for me was having my children go to school and let them eat cereal sometimes.) Do not be ashamed to reach out and get help. So many people have these struggles and you will get through it.
Jenny
The Mood Cure was a lifesaver for me, too. Well, that and the psych ward as well. 😉 Wish I had been able to go to her clinic, but I took the quizzes in the book and discovered that I need to eat a lot of protein–the more the better. Her no-nonsense approach to cooking was also helpful.
Leah
This rings so true for me! My depression/anxiety started last summer when my 3rd baby turned 4/5 months old. A late PPD, perhaps? The sleep deprivation was totally the kicker for me. She slept awesome the first 3 months and then suddenly I was up every 2 hours, plus taking care of 2 other kids when she was a few months old. It was backwards and I wasn’t prepared. It got to the point that I wanted to die. Not that I wanted to kill myself, but that I wanted God to swoop me up in His arms and take me to Heaven right then. I sought counseling when those thoughts began happening, and now 10 months later I am finally, finally on the other side. The joy has returned, the clouds have parted! And while this has been a long, hard process of refining, I am so grateful that I went through it because it has taught me so much about myself and how I work best to avoid this pit again….even with my sleep deprivation STILL with my 15 months old. Praise God!
Melissa
Thank you thank you thank you SO much for these encouraging words! I am still struggling day to day with these same feelings and it helped so much to read of another Mama who feels these same feelings and can understand how desperate and awful you can feel. I can finally say i’m on the healing side of things now after going to a doctor and being honest with my Husband and a few safe friends along with exercise and vitamins and a whole lot of prayer! Thanks for not being afraid to be real and open! You’re honesty is so refreshing and your words have been such a blessing!
Angie
Great post! I hope it encourages some sweet mom today who is struggling with depression. I had 4 kids in 6 years and dealt with depression thru many of those beginning years. Now that my kids are older and the darkness of depression is gone, I can see how lack of sleep, guilt, and too high of expectations of myself added to the weight that depression already put on me. Thank you for being vulnerable so that you can encourage someone else!
karenjo
I want to reiterate the suggestion of NOT waiting too long to seek out help. I waited so long I was n a near catatonic state. After fighting depression and anxiety for over 10 years my butt ended up in a chair 3 days a week where i received 25 total electroconvulsive treatments in “hopes” to bring me back. I’m 100% now, but it’s likely that we could have avoided such drastic measures. Not to mention a much less lengthy period of sickness. Go get help. Do not n anyway be embarrassed or ashamed!! Just take care of the issue and get on work living your life
Megan Sears
Wonderful! I shared with my “Getting Back To Happy” page to help spread the word . Silence is painful and when facing depression…it can be life altering. Every mom needs to know there are others out there! Thank you.
Kathy
Also consider getting your thyroid checked out. Your thyroid affects many, many systems in our body and brain neurotransmittors are one of the things too low/high thyroid hormone can affect. Fish oil and vitamin D supplements helped me a lot as well.
Max Laing, D. MP
Forgive me, Jess, but how can you be a mother AND a “husband to a Mr. Fix-It-All,” at the same time?
Just wonderin’…
Great article, though.
Take care,
Max
Shasta
Yeah. I was going to point that out too. Very nice article but just wanted to point that out in case it hadn’t been so it could be corrected.
Kendall
I have struggled for over half my life with depression and was on anti-depressants for over a decade. I was finally able to get off of them when I became pregnant with my first child. She had a milk allergy when she was an infant and so I cut out all dairy products while nursing her. When she weaned, I went back to eating dairy products and I felt like I was going crazy. I was anxious and depressed and constantly overwhelmed. I still struggle with depression occasionally but avoiding all dairy in my diet has allowed me to stay off of medication. I have learned better coping mechanisms and have learned my triggers and warning signs but it is still something I deal with.
Ohio Mom
Thank you for this post. I’ve never struggled w depression before. I am a new mom of a 10 month old, I work full time, and I’m my husbands side kick in ministry at our church. I feel everything you have mentioned above. I have not sought help yet. But your post has encouraged me to at least look into it.
Thanks again!
Its nice to know I’m not alone.
Carrie
I identified strongly with many points including for God to come take me away on my hardest coping days (which seem to coincide with my cycle). (NEVER wanting to do myself any harm though.)
Honestly, how do you really know if its depression or if its something else?? Doctors have wanted to diagnose me with depression but Ive never accepted it. In part bc of a bad stereotype and in part bc I just didn’t want to ‘have it’ or the label. I understand my thoughts about depression are flawed. I guess I find myself to prideful to accept anything from anyone. I figure I should just be a happy and healthy mother who can adjust to the seasons of life with fluidity. I place a tremendous amount of guilt on myself for being a less than adequate mother. Reading this article is making me question things. That’s a good thing; for my health but not my pride.
Does anyone have any useful links to sites that would be helpful for me to get educated properly on the matter?
judith
As a mother of 8, grandmother of 29, and great grandmother of 4 1/2 and 68 years of age I can tell you there are so many stages of depression throughout a lifetime. There are many social and physical reasons for anxiety but I do agree with a lack of sleep concept . There is a saying “Fatigue is the Key to Discouragement” . I’ve tried to remind myself of this many times in my life. Also, realizing changes in life whether it be a move, a divorce, a new baby, a health issue that contribute to fatigue, feelings of not be a good mom because a child choses to live by standards that differ from yours or perhaps a major physical injury (car accident, serious health problem or a death in family) can all contribute to depression. Sometimes it helps to chat with someone and feel you are loved or getting out of the house and walking or seriously taking a look at your life and seeing what negative influence is in your life and burging it can help.
For me my hormones have cause me great grief throughout my life and still is and being cursed with Fibromyalgia is a constant battle but i too have found Mag. to be helpful but I purchase Mag. with Malic acid (which is a form of apple pectin and helps with pain control) and the 2 together seems to help me make it through life.
Also, remember we live in a world where the it’s all about Me and poor me and being offended for every little thing is abundant. Eliminating as much negative in your life whether it’s about yourself or someone else will pull you down to where you can hardly move each day.
Start your day with prayer no matter your religious belief ( if none think of something positive) and find someone else to serve. It may just be a phone call, a hug or uplighting note but it takes you out of Your world and into helping and realizing we are all walking with pain one way or another. But it must not be our focus. You soon forget about yourself as you serve and always at the end of the day make a list physically or mentally of the good things you accomplished that day rather than the things you did not.
I have a person saying I use because I love God and it is “When you are hurting Look to the Son,(the Son
of God) and you will be lifted.
You are of worth! You are a child of God and no matter what you are Loved.
Pat
I am a mother of six and grandmother of 12. I have suffered off and on from anxiety and depression since childhood. It has been a journey that has made me the strong woman that I am today and enabled me to help others with similar challenges. I know that God led me to people and solutions that would help me find my way back. I used to think that I had to be perfect to be acceptable and perfectionism is one of the root causes of anxiety and depression. I also found that there are physical causes as well as the mental. I have a mitral valve prolapse that can be a culprit and contributor to anxiety in some people. I also learned to accept the fact that I needed help and that I wasn’t crazy. I thought if I just buried it and hid my feelings, it would go away. I put on an act to get through the day. We all need each other. God puts people in our lives as answers to our prayers. I have been led to the solutions that were right for me at the time I was suffering, whether it was medication, a self-help book, discovering a nutritional need, or a friend’s encouraging words and support. Right now, as a 67 year old, I feel joy in the journey. I realize that we all have hills and valleys. There are solutions to every problem and hope for a better tomorrow. Never give up and believe in God’s promises to us that he will not leave us comfortless. He will be our guide. I have been helped with nutritional supplements, (magnesium, also), exercise, yoga, EFT (emotional freedom technique) and essential oils. Live in the moment. Don’t look back and don’t worry about tomorrow. These all have been a great blessing. God gives us weaknesses so that they can become our strengths. Never give up hope and share what you learn with others.
Reese
Thank you for this post. I’m a military wife and mother and I’m used to having two and three jobs to stay busy. Now that I’m unemployed I feel useless and worthless. I have anxiety that I won’t Be able to provide my family with any assistance. I do beat my self up for it all the time. I’m the person who has a fake smile everyday. I’m usually happy go lucky but lately I feel like a huge disappointment because I can’t find a job. I’m a teacher by trade but even those jobs are hard to co e by. I am depressed and now I’m considering getting help. I’m tired of crying and feeling so low. I know people say wait and an opportunity will come but… When..
Erika Ortiz
I stumbled upon this on pinterest and reading this brought tears to my eyes. Mother of two, recently married, struggling to find a job. While I am going to school to better provide for my family. I do have a wonderful loving wife that I’m blessed to have seen me through my ups and downs. I’m bipolar and I have manic depression with anxiety. But she’s sees me through it all. I’ve gotten better with talking and reading this is definitely uplifting.
t
Thank you for this post. I am that mom who thinks everyone else has it together while I cover up my anger, hopelessness, and senseless worry. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression since I was in college and have been on nearly every medication and find myself still without a perfect answer. The medication helps, but not without causing me to gain weight even when on a very strict diet and exercise plan and completely losing any desire for sex (another huge problem! my poor husband is so patient and understanding, but it definitely is still an issue). I’ve prayed for years as has my family for this to longer be an issues, but it persists.
I’m so happy that many of you feel that depression and anxiety are a thing of the past for you, but have to say I feel that it will always be an issue for me b/c even the fixes (medication, counseling, relaxation techniques, regular exercise) I’ve tried cause problems or do not completely resolve things. Any advice is appreciated.
Erin
Thank you for sharing your story, T. I am so sorry you’ve been through so much! Do you have a counselor?
Alina
I experienced anxiety and depression after the birth of my second baby and then also while going through the menopause around ages 48 to 50.
I believe the drastic changes in hormones caused it. I just suffered through it both times and never took any medication for it.
I was afraid to take medicine and get dependent on it. Praying for all of you ladies who are going through these difficult times. Prayer and good friends to talk to helped me cope.
Erin
Thank you for praying for these ladies, Alina–and for sharing your story!
jeni
Ugh, I need the letter to the mom who’s not depressed, her life just really sucks. Can someone write that one please?
Erin
I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time, Jeni! I know I have been in seasons like that–when I felt like life was never going to get better. But it has, and I pray you will be encouraged today.
Beth Price-Almeida
Reading this post made my heart hurt! I have been depressed for a few years now. I went to a counselor and she diagnosed me as having Major Depressive disorder, borderline agoraphobia, and generalized anxiety disorder. I have to say, though, that it doesn’t feel general when a panic attack hits!
I am a solemn and solitary person by nature. My mother said I was the most solemn and quite 3 year old, she had ever seen. But, I’m also funny and compassionate with others. It is important for me to make sure people realize that jus because I spend the majority of my time at home doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. And I don’t believe in talking just to be heard. I speak when I have something important to say. The Bible says we shouldn’t talk to much because many words lead to sin and trouble.
I just had my son January the 9th. He was born at 4:46 p.m. and my grandfather had passed away at 4. So, on top of a slight case of Post partum depression, I lost my sweet poppa. All of this is compounded by this depressive disorder I’ve carried for years. Then my mother decides that she is going to come and stay…indefinitely. My husband and I have had zero alone time, she has turned the house into a disaster area because she won’t pick up after herself, she is loud, lacks humility and our relationship is not the best. It consists of accepting all of her bad habits and never expecting her to honor our home or the way we do things. This makes me angry…actually downright furious, but if she is called out on her behavior, she will call untold amounts of trouble. An example of this is that several years ago, I told her that she couldn’t just barge onto our house when we were gone and go through our things. She began screaming obscenities and I took her by the arm and had to practically drag her out of the house! She called the police and told them that my husband (now my ex husband) had beaten her up.
These last few months, she’s been here since before Christmas, have been in the top two most horrible times in my life. This time should be a wonderful celebration of the life of my son and I am so angry and depressed that I simply don’t enjoy it. Oh I have quite times with Mason and my husband but they are very few.
I am also heartbroken because I am almost positive that my mother is one of those people in the Bible that God advises his children to stay away from.
I am so far down in this hole, I’m not sure how to get out! I’ve prayed more these few months than ever before so some good is coming from it.
Erin
Hi Beth! My heart really hurts for you. 🙁 It sounds like you are going through a LOT! Just a few thoughts:
1. CONGRATS on your new baby! I am so very happy for you! This is a good time to just rest as much as you can and snuggle that sweet baby.
2. I don’t know if you’ve ever studied personality types, but I’m a big fan of knowing your personality type because it can help you know stress release techniques, etc. I’m an extrovert. It sounds like you might be an introvert. This means you literally NEED alone time to be energized! Extroverts are the opposite; we get energized from begin around others. Is there any way possible you can get some alone time while your mom runs errands, etc.?
3. It sounds like you and your husband might need to set some boundaries with your mother. If you don’t want her to live with you, it might be time your husband to tell her. :/
I will say a prayer for you right now, Beth. I hope you can get some encouragement, help, and relief!!
carly
Thank you for writing this. I’m having a really hard time not being good enough. It feels like my son would be better off without me. I always make mistakes and life is getting harder and harder as I get older. I’m trying so hard to be happy. I’m also going through a tragedy, the man that raised me is dying. I just hope I can smile again soon. My son doesn’t need me sleeping all day. Thanks again for a little hope.
Alma Barron
Great article but I wish you would of listed methods you tried to help with the anxiety/depression, and what worked for you.
mirta Arroyo
It’s hard at first but you can make it. Just believe in yourself.
Kristel
Hi I have had post natal depressing 5 years ago after I had my first child (now aged 5) I was on medication for 4 – 5 months which made no difference as it helped a little now that I’m a mum of 2 young boys I still have the depression (as well as little sleep) but before I even considered on starting a family I had a bit of anxiety on and off since 2004 which the doctors told me to take deep breaths when my anxiety had kicked in but still today I do have depression and anxiety
Erin
I’m so sorry, Kristel. This post is older and was a guest post, but I have recently discovered I have a gene mutation (the MTHFR gene mutation) that can make me personally prone to anxiety and depression. My doctor put me on different vitamins, and I can definitely see a huge difference in how I feel!
Troi Locklar
I can relate. I have been on the medication, did the counselor. Now I am trying to change my diet. My sons are grown and on their own. Being older it is time to care for the parents which is harder than raising children. With children you can send them to their room or give them something to do, older adult that is not possible. I would rather raise another child. There is no escape sometimes. I can’t take the medication anymore because of liver enzymes. I just don’t know what else to do. I try to do something for myself, but not always possible. Nobody really understands unless you have been there. You just want to find a hole to crawl into and hide.
Samantha
Hello! I realize its been a few years since this post was published, but I wanted to let you know I really appreciated it. I am a mommy battling depression right and even started a blog in way of an outlet. I am currently writing a post about all the blog post, articles, resources, ect I have found helpful. I will be linking this post up to mine. Please feel free to check it out in a few days. Thank you again!
Carla
Truly inspiring post xxx thank you so much for sharing your tips. I suffered from pnd and anxiety. I need to remember that it could come back and I need to admit it to myself a little sooner next time. I love the fact more and more people are talking about this subject. You can read my post here:
https://www.mybump2baby.com/difficult-post-write/
Well done you for sharing your story xxx love it!