Family FinancesAre you longing for a more meaningful Christmas? How you give gifts can make a big difference! Here’s how my family keeps Christmas gift-giving sacred and simple.
By Katie Bennett, Contributing Writer
I love Christmastime! It is festive and exciting and worshipful.
It makes me happy and fills my cup for so many reasons. One of those reasons is that I love giving gifts.
Now, I haven’t always had the same vision and excitement for that part of Christmas.
After all, gift-giving can be stressful when we have lots of people on our obligatory “list” and no idea what they would like –not to mention the cost.
However, several years ago, God opened my eyes to a better way of giving gifts. And it has changed how our family celebrates Christmas from the core.
Rather than joining in with our culture’s hyper-consumerism, we dial way back as a family and settle into contentment, meaning, simplicity and depth at Christmastime.
In a nutshell, here’s what gift-giving means and looks like for my family.
Gifts Given Within Our Immediate Family
Each year, we find space in our schedule to have a quiet, simple little gift exchange and “Christmas morning” at home as a family. For us, this doesn’t necessarily have to be on December 25th. It’s amazing how much a little bit of flexibility can de-stress a holiday!
On whichever day we designate, we wake up and share homemade cinnamon rolls and breakfast casserole. Then we read about the birth of Jesus from a children’s Bible, pray together and talk about what God did at Christmastime. It’s sweet.
We explain that God gave us Jesus because he deeply loved us, and to celebrate that, we are giving each other gifts for the same reason —love.
Each family member receives a stocking filled with a few little items. My husband and I even fill a stocking for each other because we’re goofy like that! In addition, each child will receive one or two gifts from us, and one from each sibling. Because the gifts are few, they are well thought out, anticipated and appreciated.
We take turns giving, receiving and opening gifts one at a time, going in order from youngest to oldest and then looping back through until all presents have been enjoyed. The person giving the gift physically places it in the hands of the one receiving.
I love that my children get to make a strong connection with us and one another both as a giver and a receiver!
Gifts Given Outside of Our Family
We also have a way of thinking about gifts given outside the family that adds depth as well.
Essentially, we’ve freed ourselves from empty, obligatory giving. We do not buy “shot-in-the-dark,” random gift sets or sweaters or gadgets in an effort to cross people off our list.
On Black Friday you’ll find me enjoying a cup of coffee with my family, reading books with my kids and their cousins, or riding 4-wheelers on my parents’ property. This is not the time I choose to do most of my Christmas shopping because the items I mostly give can’t be purchased off a shelf on Black Friday.
So what do I do for the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins if I don’t buy all Black Friday has to offer for them?
Well…
I first set the expectation. Several years ago when I was a newly full-time mom, we determined that we would spend about $10 per family on gifts, and we let everyone know that well in advance!
That’s the most we could do at the time, since our spending money was at zero, and everyone was absolutely fine with that! It was nice to know they knew what to expect so there wouldn’t be a feeling of guilt if the gifts “didn’t match.”
Then I sought gifts that were personal or relational in nature. If I thought an individual would truly enjoy having a certain item (based on my relationship with them), that’s what I bought.
Otherwise I chose items that represented our relationship in some way, such as photo gifts or personalized crafts.
Beyond that, each year I choose a craft to make. This is something I can put my effort into, and then distribute them to friends and family knowing they’re receiving a labor of love. To me, a homemade gift is an easy way to taking giving deeper, as it represents care, time and heart, exactly what I want to express to those in my life.
If you’re looking for creative, special ideas, check out my Meaningful Gifts Pinterest board all year long.
So let me challenge you to do Christmas differently this year. Let’s replace stress, dept, loneliness, entitlement and excess for depth, meaning and connection with God and others. Let’s make our Christmas gift-giving sacred and simple.
How do you keep Christmas gift-giving sacred and simple?
Brooke
Such a great post!!! We have been scaling back as a family for a few years, little by little. I also try to craft when I can…it is so much fun…and people love it! We have been busier this year, so I am noticing our spending is creeping back up…but I already have plans in the works for Christmas next year. Thanks for posting this piece. 🙂 Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Katie Bennett
Thank you so much Brooke! It’s fun to hear others are doing this and loving it too!
christine
I have many boys and a few men to buy gifts for. Do you have any ideas? Thanks, christine
Eliza
Food. The way to a mans heart is via his stomach after all! I’m sure some handmade treats would go down well with any male!
Eliza
christine
Perfect! chris
Lorena
Thanks for this thoughtful post. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in the consumerism of the holiday, and this brought me back to reality. I also sometimes feel bad for not having as much to spend on gifts than others around me, and your words give me strength… It’s OK to be simple and humble! Prayers for your family and a Merry Christmas to you!
Katie Bennett
Thank you so much Lorena! Bless you and merry Christmas to you!
Keelie Reason
I love this post. 🙂 We actually do a lot of the same things. I really like the taking turns with opening gifts. We have always done that.
Eliza
The pressure to spend $$$ on people who are ‘on the list’ is ridiculous (although I’m not sure if it is just me who puts that pressure on myself). I ‘have’ to buy for 13 kids who aren’t family, all kids who don’t really appreciate presents, it is heartbreaking to see the gifts that you put so much thought and effort into lying in the dirt in the garden a couple of weeks later. This year I have gone for simple, and no toys,. Next year we will have a bit more time so I’m going to do some handmade stuff.
Tracey Renfro
I love the whole gift giving process. I shop for months, love picking out just the right gift for each person, love wrapping with unique custom made bags my 92 year old Aunt makes. Love delivering the gifts, don’t even have to see them open them, the delivering makes me happy. My tradition may be different than yours but it doesn’t make it any less sacred. It doesn’t have to be simple, it just needs to be what fits in with your life and budget.
By the way, what on earth is DEPT that you want to eliminate and replace. Is that a typo or do I just have no clue what DEPT is???
Becca
I like what you say here. I especially get tired of people saying they ask grandparents to only buy one present (or none at all). My MIL’s love language is gift-giving. When her children or their partners tell her she’s not allowed to buy presents for her grandchildren, or that she’s only allowed to give one present per child, it hurts her. Does she go overboard? Sure. But that’s her way of saying “I love you,” and even though the clutter sometimes drives me crazy, I’m not going to ask her to stop, because I understand (finally, after 16 years of marriage) that it’s important for her.
Kelly
I like these ideas! I especially appreciate hearing about your $10 minimum per family outside your family. This is where I feel like we get out of control is that we have wealthier family members, so there is an expectation that we give more. Of course, I think they know our financial situation and would not be mean if we gave something worth less, but I still want to give nice gifts since I know they will give REALLY nice gifts. So usually it ends up to more like $30-40 per person (within my immediate family).
We do NOT give gifts to our kids, except items we already have. For example, we have some knick knacks and books from our own childhood (my husband and I) that I have hidden away and will give af ew of them every year until we run out! Otherwise, I know they will get so much from extended family and friends that there is no use spending any money (or effort) getting stuff ourselves!
Katie Bennett
That is a really neat idea Kelly! It’s more special to give your kids toys you loved as a child than something sterile off a shelf. Such a sweet sentiment!!